Merlin's Mumbles

Chapter 8: Poo on me and poo on you!

The rest of that day blew by fine enough… Merlin and I didn't speak much unless necessary and I fallowed him around like a dog as he would have me, had we been in our rightful places. I ended up only having one more "encounter" with his royal rudeness that day and went to bed or should I say cot exhausted.

When I awoke on the third day I was needless to say still within Merlin's body as I was sure he was still in mine. I greeted Gaius with a good morning to which I got a grunt in reply. Obviously he was still angry at my outburst the previous day. I didn't mean to upset everybody so much but I had 80% proof that it was Merlin who had done this; I wouldn't have taken him to trial at 80%, honestly… But I was defiantly under the impression that someone was trying to frame Merlin, he after all looked guilty and all of the evidence we had pointed to him. But why Merlin? It's not like he's anyone special, he isn't an important figure in Camelot that was what baffled me. It wasn't as if the destiny of the whole kingdom rested on his scrawny shoulders! It all rested on mine, so they must have had a plan that got all buggered up and it must have been that Merlin was just so talented to get mixed up in it the way he did.

When I brought the royal breakfast I apologized with Gwen as my witness to Merlin and all was well in the land with exception being we still had visiting "guest". I went about my chores, cleaning the fire place empting a nasty basin out the window and fluffing my pillows while chattering on with my wife and Merlin about what was to be done that day and how it was to be done. And we discussed the matter of the potion Gaius had been brewing for us and I also mentioned that the patrol was to be back that morning he would have to get their report. When I said this Merlin choked on a sausage.

"A-Arthur, I am having a bad feeling about this"

"How so?"

" Sum it up in one word?"

"Yes Merlin."

"Gawain".

"What do you mean?" Guinevere asked just as puzzled as I. What would Gawain have to do with anything? After all he would be heading for the nearest tavern after reporting back to his king anyway, is what crossed my mind, but as I always seem to learn when going through such situation with Merlin, he actually has some valid points and insights and can be knowledgeable about random things like Gawain. Had I the patience then to hear him out I could have avoided a bit of trouble.

"He might figure out that we aren't exactly who we claim to be."

"Merlin's right, Gawain dose have a sharp eye."

"Well then it's a good thing we actually look like who we are supposed to be." I said while leaving to do the laundry with a smile.

Laundry done and hanging to dry, me quite proud of myself for a job well done I went to tackle the next task, mucking out the stables, and by this time it was approaching noon, and Merlin would soon be having to give King Adelmound a tour of the lower town and all its wonders, only to be scrutinized and picked apart with his ever disapproving eyes. I imagined that the horse dung that I was clearing out was him and soon he would be gone just like it and all of Camelot would be the better for it, if not smell the better for it.

After I finished I was on my way back to Merlin's chambers to change because there was no way I was going to be smelling like that for the rest of the day and who should I run into on my way there, poo on my face and all? Yes king Adelmund and I just so happened to get poo on him as well, not much but some.

I was quickly rounding a corner because I didn't want to miss the tour of the lower town and that's when it happened.

"Uh! You idiot! Must you ruin my entire wardrobe?" he exclaimed.

I bit my lip and bowed low apologizing profusely and muttering something about cleaning it to make it good as new. Really I was surprisingly fitting in the role of servant snug.

This I won't forget, but he grabbed me by my collar and slammed my back into the wall and glared down at me. He was a very tall man by the way, which I think I failed to mention, but really it doesn't matter.

"You are a disgrace to your king and should be thrown from your post! One you clearly aren't capable of handling!"

I was just about to sock him on the nose when none other than Gawain's voice was heard.

"Sire is there a problem here?"

I was released and he stormed off not even answering Gawain.

"Well at least some things never change" He stated with a wide grin and walked over to pat me on my shoulder.

"Hello Merlin, you getting in to trouble with royals again?"

"Yah… you know me." I smiled and I don't think I was ever happier in seeing Gawain with the only exception's being when we were in some fight for our lives.

"So, I see you've kept Camelot safe while I was gone, where are you off to in such a hurry I was trying to catch up with you when you ran into King Grumpy pants.

"Ah, to change, I have to join the royal party for the tour of the lower town, you know standard stuff." Because this is how Merlin would have responded right?

"Well I suppose I can't get you to shirk your duties even just a little to join me at the tavern for a bit?"

I was at a loss for a response because Merlin often visited the tavern correct? And He was probably with Gawain some of those times correct? So If I said "no" would that be unusual? Or would "yes" be the right answer?

I opened and closed my mouth.

"Are you alright mate?"

"Um…" Gulp "Yah, yah, just I really shouldn't mess around at a time like this. Arthur needs me on my best behavior and so far I've done a bang up job were it concerns King Adelmound."

"Has that basta-"

"Gawain really it's all right I'm fine!"

I could tell Gawain was about to go off on one of his rants about royals and their cushy little bottoms and how they were never fair and let me go give him a piece of my mind, or sword!

"I really have to go… so I'll be seeing you later."

And I left him there in the hall obviously discontented. Man could he be protective of Merlin. Which I suppose is a good thing. Merlin needs looking after a lot and I am not always going to be there.