VIII: Sunrise

"I've got to hold on; As these days go by; I keep on falling; You walk away," Sunrise, Black Stone Cherry


The door opening almost went unnoticed by me as I swung my arm around in another arc, except my training would have been for nothing if someone had gotten the jump on me. As it were, I ignored the entrance of my guest, knowing exactly who it was. I pounded the bag a couple more times, before I stopped, my chest rising and falling in heavy bursts. I turned around slowly, and Lissa smiled at me as I shoved my sweaty hair out of my face; it had completely fallen out of the pins I'd carefully placed in earlier.

"I've brought you a present, Guardian Hathaway." She pulled a velvet box from a bag that hung over her shoulder. I knew what it was, feeling her pride swell between us. She handed the box to me, and I opened it to find a silver necklace inside. One touch told me it was brimming with Spirit magic. "I'm sorry I was so late getting another piece of charmed jewellery to you. I should have gotten it ready in time for today. I knew it would be hard for both of us, and the effects of using Spirit just makes it that much worse." She wore a heavy expression as she watched me clasp it around my neck. I knew it was because she felt guilty about me siphoning the negative effects of Spirit away from her, something we'd only found out about a few years back.

"Thanks." The silver was cool on my hot skin, and as soon as it was on, I felt my mood improve. It was like a much needed hit of caffeine after sleepless nights, without the massive comedown. "I don't mind doing it. You know that. It's a good partnership; you heal, I take darkness, you heal me, and we're all peachy. I think it would be worse if you couldn't reach Spirit at all. The darkness is a small cost." I hooked a finger around the silver chain, briefly touching the green gem that swung from the bottom of it. It was the same colour as Lissa's eyes.

"Sometimes I think about giving it up, just so neither of us has to worry about going insane. It's such a heavy thought, pressing down on me from time to time. But then I remember what Oksana said, about it only really being a consequence of excessive use and a lack of understanding, and the pressure goes away." Lissa stared intently at the wall, her eyes faraway and distant. Her worries were clear to me internally and externally, although I tried to get rid of them for her. "I'm glad that I have a bondmate, Rose. And I'm glad I had you, even if we weren't connected. You keep me grounded."

"I think you keep me grounded more than I keep you grounded. You're already pretty level headed," I said, grabbing my jacket from the gym floor. I didn't bother putting it back on, knowing that today's pretences were finished for another year. "And with those tricks Oksana showed us, none of us are going mad. Except maybe me, but that wouldn't be your fault. I'm already crazy." I pulled a face as we headed out of the gym, and Lissa giggled.

"I know." The moon was giving way to the sun, which surprised me. I hadn't realised I had spent so much time burning up my pent up rage. As we walked past the school buildings, I noticed a large group of guardians in the distance, heading towards one of the guest houses. Lissa noticed my look, and answered my unspoken question. "They're all for the Queen; she's still here."

"Really?" I had expected Tatiana to hot tail it all the way back to the Court, where the protective wards hadn't fallen in recent years. It wasn't as if St. Vladimir's had anything to offer to Her Majesty. And yet, here she was. "Couldn't she get a direct flight out straight away?"

"She wanted to stay here longer. She said that she had an announcement to make, and since it concerned the school, she wanted to make it here. She'll be returning to Court tomorrow night. I was going to sit at the meeting too. It's not often that the Royal Council throws their meetings open to everyone. Actually," she added, hesitating. Her hesitation hit me more heavily then she could of guessed, and I waited for her to say it out loud. knowing it was something important. "She asked me to pass a message along to you. She's requested your presence at one of the meetings."

"Me?" I cast my mind back over the recent events, wondering if I'd done anything that required the Queen to talk to me. Nothing came to mind, so I looked to Lissa for an answer. She shrugged. "Why would Tatiana want to speak to me? She hasn't spoken to me since she screamed at me after my graduation." I looked at Lissa reproachfully, who had the decency to flush in embarrassment.

"I've said sorry about hundred times. I didn't think my leaving the school unguarded would cause such huge problems. Or that you would be blamed." We had reached our rooms, and stood out in the hallway. Other guests hurried by, their expressions worn and tired. "Anyway, she asked for you to meet her in the cafeteria before the big announcement. They're using it as a platform. Of sorts," she added hastily, seeing my startled expression.

"Right," I said, not really convinced I wasn't in trouble. Queen Tatiana had never really shown me any reason to think that she liked me, even after all the hard work I put in protecting her favourite nephew. I think it was because first impressions were lasting. That, or she loved to hold a grudge. "I still don't think me and the Queen in the same room is a good thing, whether it's harmless questions or not. Especially not in public either."

"Sleep on it," Lissa replied with a warm smile. "You'll feel better about it in the morning." I doubted that, but sleep sounded like a brilliant idea after all that pounding I'd done earlier. My whole body ached, and I knew that as soon as I snuggled down into my bed, I'd be asleep. Having a regular routine was a luxury I jumped on whenever I could. Being out a field guardian meant being alert 24/7. Even when asleep. Try that one on for size. "I'll see you tomorrow. I'll even walk you to the meeting, to support you."

I smiled back, thankful that Lissa would be there with me, even if she wouldn't be standing before a semblance of the Royal Council. She ducked into her room, and I made to follow suit into mine. But before I could unlock my bedroom door, a hand reached out to pull me away from it. I turned with the movement, and came face to face with Dimitri. We stood in silence, mine from surprise, his from some form of hesitation, before it got too much for both of us. I wavered, wondering who would fall first.

"I'm sorry," he said, making me the winner of wills this time. My jubilation didn't last long as I watched him. There was a weary weight in his eyes that I hadn't noticed before, and it made my chest constrict with guilt and pain. "For our reunion earlier. It didn't go as I planned. I got so caught up with seeing you. I didn't think - "

"I thought that was my jurisdiction," I said evenly, trying not to get lost in his eyes, or his voice, or in the sincerity of his words. "Well," I added after a lengthy silence. "You've said sorry. You don't have to hang around me anymore and pretend. We're both adults, so there's no need for you to run off either. We can protect our charges without ever having to see each other. It's what you wanted, remember?"

Dimitri stood and stared at me, and I figured that I'd finally gotten through to him. "What I wanted?" he said slowly, and if I didn't know him better, I would have thought that he was surprised or confused. "Oh Rose," he breathed, and I was suddenly thrown back to that fateful day. He'd slapped me, I'd said cruel words, he'd left. In all the confusion, I didn't even really know what had happened. One thing was clear though; he'd left me.

"Rose what? It's good to see you? It's good to see you graduated? It's good to see you got the jump on me?" It's good to see you, only you ... Wistful thoughts filled me up. "Look Dimitri, I'm sorry for attacking you. It's hard to explain the ins and outs, but I wasn't myself." I sighed, resignation climbing out of my chest in slow words. "I have to get to sleep. I have a meeting in the morning with the Queen."

Pain flickered across Dimitri's face as he took in my composure, and I wondered if I'd been too quick in assuming he couldn't read me anymore. Or maybe the wistful look had appeared in my face, even though I'd tried to hide it. He opened his mouth to say something more, his eyes softening as they took me in, before they suddenly hardened. It was like watching a physical wall come between us, and I flinched, stepping backwards as if he'd hit me.

"What's this?" he asked, and I was reminded of the way I had spoken to him when he'd told me he was leaving. Smooth and brisk, no emotion, no connection. "Who is that necklace from?"

As soon as the question was asked, anger flooded me. So that was what his change in mood was about. The necklace. He thought that someone, a man, had given it to me. I hated assumptions at the best of times, but when they came from Dimitri there was a whole more hurt and anger. He should know me better than that. I thought he knew me better than that. Maybe I'd wanted him to know me better than that. Either way, I wasn't going to stand here and be interrogated by someone who didn't give a damn about me anymore.

"I don't think that's any of your business, Belikov," I said, mustering as much ice into my voice as possible. Anger would show hurt, which meant I cared. Ice was better at cutting him and showing him that I didn't care, even if I did. "You gave up the right to know who I spend my time with three years ago. I thought you would have learnt that by now."

"Rose," he said, a warning tone to his voice. I didn't quite understand why he was warning me, or what he was planning to say next, and I probably won't ever find out, because Adrian chose that moment to step from the shadows of the hallway, green eyes cast upon Dimitri in a cool gaze.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked, though his expression said he knew he was. I didn't care. I was done with Dimitri, but before I could return to unlocking my bedroom door, a low growl ripped through the silence between us. I sensed the sudden hike in tension, and turned instinctively, getting ready to diffuse the situation, or break up a fight. "Impressive," Adrian said. "Can I ask why you growled at me?"

I looked between the two men, trying to figure out why Dimitri was staring down Adrian with enough force to make weaker men cry. It wasn't until his eyes flickered back to where my necklace sat on my neck that I realised what he had assumed. Again with the assumptions. The Dimitri I knew never made assumptions; he always listened to the situation at hand and made cool, collected decisions.

"It's not what you think," I said, stepping between him and Adrian, hand clasped over the gemstone. The one that matched Adrian's eye colour. "He's my charge and friend. And you have no right to drag him into whatever dispute their is between us. He's a Royal Moroi, Belikov, and you can't go knocking him around because you don't like him."

"Belikov?" questioned Adrian, cocking an eyebrow in my direction. I sent him a warning look, and he raised his hands casually. "Okay, I'll go to your room." His eyes glinted with unrestrained pleasure as he looked over my head, to where Dimitri stood. "I'll see you in a minute, when you're done talking to Dimitri," he winked, before turning to my door. My key still sat in the lock, and he made short work of it.

"Adrian Ivashkov. I thought I warned you about him at the ski resort." Dimitri was visibly trying to calm himself down, fists clenched, chest rising and falling in short bursts. "He's trouble, Rose, and you shouldn't go dating someone like him," he spat the last word, glaring at the door. "Even if he has friends in high places. You don't mess with people like him."

"Who said anything about messing with him? You're the one jumping down the throats of every person who passes you. What's happened to you? You never used to be so temperamental and hothead. That was me. Adrian is my charge, of course he'd come to my room from time to time. He's my friend too. I've seen a lot of him in the past three years. He's been learning about Spirit with Lissa. I'd appreciate it if you didn't kill him."

We stood staring at each other, the tension disappearing as quickly as it had sprung up. I watched as Dimitri visibly deflated like a balloon. He even had the courtesy to flush with embarrassment. I shook my head, suddenly weary and tired all over again. Worry sprung up too, with the promise of a meeting with the Queen pressing down on me. I didn't need this, and I was thankful that Lissa had given me another piece of charmed jewellery. It was working over time right now, pulsing like a heartbeat as it sent out calming waves through me.

"I'm sorry. I'll let you get to your charge now," Dimitri said stiffly, and his expressionless face annoyed me more then it should have. He gave me one last sweeping look, before he turned and strode down the hallway, disappearing around the next nearest corner. I stared at the spot he had disappeared from a while longer, confused.

"Are you coming in honey?" came Adrian's voice, layered with sickening sarcasm. I turned and glared at him, and he backed away from the door. "Hey, I'm not the one who got Belikov all heated up over nothing. He did that all by himself. I just pushed a few on his buttons. He really needs to learn to control his temper."

I let the irony of his statement roll over me as I pushed past him into my room. I really wanted a shower, food and bed in that order, and Adrian was standing in my way of two out of three of them. I grabbed an apple from the complimentary basket on my dressing table, and continued glaring at him. I'd learnt along time ago that silence makes men twitch, and can torture them worse than any insults or blows. And right now, I was happy to keep up glaring at him for a long time.

"Alright, alright!" he said quickly, dropping onto my bed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made the situation worse. Just stop glaring at me like that."

"You know that you should have turned away the minute you saw him," I said tiredly, dropping beside him. "He thinks we're dating, and you just gave him more fuel. He could have seriously hurt you, and I wouldn't have been able to stop him." Adrian looked at me, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I would, but I would have let him after all the trouble you caused."

"Why did he think we were dating?" Adrian asked. "I mean, I know it's not a bad thing, but it's kinda weird if it came out of nowhere. Did he just look for you and jump down your throat? Because he looked angry when I got there, without my help."

"He made some crazy assumption about me, kicked off about it, saw you and put two, unrelated pieces of information together. You pushed him further, and strengthened his resolve to put those two things together, and hey presto, we had testosterone wars. You are a pain in my ass, Mr Ivashkov," I sighed, biting into the apple ferociously.

"And a fine ass it is too!" he declared. "But, I still don't see how he thought that I was the one you're dating, even though it's common news that Rose Hathaway does not date. Period. Except for when Lissa sets her up with desirable bachelors, which always seem to not be me. Why is that, by the way? Do you ask her to avoid me?"

"No, she picks them, and I humour her. As for why Dimitri thought you were dating me, well, see for yourself." I tugged my necklace out from under my shirt, and Adrian glanced at it, eyes widening in understanding. "It's the same shade as green as Lissa's eyes, and it's a good representation of yours too. He saw the necklace and thought it was a gift from someone else, though why that should bother him is beyond me. He left me, not the other way around."

"It's from Lissa," Adrian stated. "I can sense the Spirit magic in it. And you're right, it is a good representation of me. I'm glad you think that." I narrowed my eyes at him, and he smirked back. "As for Belikov, well, I think the only way you can find out why he was so bothered by it, is by asking him yourself."

"You are crazy," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Like I'm going to stroll up to him and ask him that. As if I'm going to stroll up to him ever. He's here, I'm here, but we don't need to be together. He made his choice, and I'm going to let him stand by it."

"Seems to me like he wasn't standing by it." Adrian rose from my bed, stretching his lithe body out. "And he may have walked away from you, but you never walked away from him." His eyes sparked with a knowing light, and I resisted the urge to throw the apple at him. "I know you're going to want to see him, no matter how hard you try to look like you don't. And no matter how many times you call him Belikov." He stopped when he reached the door, glancing back at me. I could have sworn there was concern in his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had arrived. "I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be cheering on your questioning from the sidelines."

"You better be there. I'll need you to plead for my forgiveness if this thing goes belly-up. You might be your aunt's favourite, but I'm certainly not, no matter how many times you tell her I'm a badass. And until I know what she wants from me, I'm going to be feeling less than accommodating towards her." Adrian measured the look I gave him, and nodded.

"You don't need to be worried Rose. I think she's actually happy you're here to talk to," he finished, before shutting my door tightly, leaving me to enjoy a hot shower in peace.