Cardan
I fall backward onto Jude's bed and stare up at the ceiling. If I didn't know I was in the mortal world already, this would be the strangest dream I've ever had.
The events of the day so far have surprised me, and seeing Jude again has made me realize a handful of things. The first being how hard it is not to touch her all the damn time. Second, it is far too easy to flirt with her, even though it seems she hates me and therefore doesn't trust me. And finally, how hard it will be to leave.
I close my eyes and breathe in deep. Her sheets smell like her, and I want to hold onto the memory of her scent for as long as I can.
A noise from the bathroom startles me, and I realize she's turned on the water.
I reach over and pull one of her pillows behind my head. Then I toss it and tuck my hands behind my head instead.
I'm restless, and have to do something. So I sit up and look around the small room. She has a tall chest of drawers beside her window, and a desk along the adjacent wall. A notebook and pen, and a pile of darts occupy her desk top. Darts, Jude?
Jude's bed occupies the wall opposite her desk, near the front of the room, and her closet is just a couple feet away.
I look over and something shiny on her bedside table catches my eye, and I'm surprised to see my ring lying there. I reach over and pick it up, turning it over in my hand.
I fondly remember the day I stole this right off Jude's slender finger. She didn't even realize I'd taken it. And yet, I'm sure she eventually did notice it was missing, but still she said nothing.
I've learned a lot of things in the time I've known her. She'd no doubt be horrified to know what other things I've learned and become quite good at in the time we've been apart from each other these last few months.
Maybe she'd be impressed, even. I realize I could test that theory right now and see how it goes.
I place the ring back in the exact spot I'd taken it from and get up to look around.
I never said I wouldn't snoop, but perhaps this once I can do as she says. Besides, if I'm going to get into trouble, I'd rather get into it a much different way.
I get up from the bed and walk over to the door. I open it carefully and can still hear the water running in the room directly across the hall.
I move to that door and listen carefully, but all I hear is water splashing around, and— is she singing? No, just humming. The song sounds like one of the popular ones from the many revels we've attended together.
I put my hand so very gently on the brass doorknob and give it a slight turn. It's unlocked. I twist it the rest of the way and push open the door.
I can already feel the steam from the shower against my skin.
I slip inside quickly and close the door behind me without making a sound.
The steam in the room is thick, but after a few moments I can see clearly.
I am surprised to see Jude's face behind the shower curtain. It's a solid sky blue color, and the top section is clear, so I can see her from the shoulders up. I can just barely see a pale line against her golden skin from when she's been out in the sun. Most likely from warmer days while she's been running.
Her head is tipped back into the spray, accentuating her long slender neck, eyes closed as she hums and leisurely washes out her hair.
She really did smell fine before, but the scent in the room now is making my mouth water. I don't know what I'd call this scent exactly, but it's similar to what her bed smells like. It smells so good I'm sure I could get drunk off of it.
I lean against the wall of the bathroom, close enough that she'll surely jump out of her skin once she realizes I'm in here.
I'm almost disappointed she hasn't seen me yet.
Eyes still closed, she twists under the spray to let the water run over her face, and she stops humming.
Just then she leans out of the spray so she can open her eyes. Still, she doesn't see me.
She bends down to pick something up, and I hear a popping sound. Then she brings her hands to her face and smoothed some cream over her skin, eyes closed again.
Seriously, Jude? What happened to your master spy skills?
I watch her rinse the cream off her face. She looks very relaxed now, happy and content.
She wipes at her eyes and opens them, and then—
"Cardan!" She squeals.
Even though I've been waiting for her to notice me, I almost jump out of my skin when she does. Her face is the most shocked and embarrassed I've ever seen.
"What the hell?" She accuses. "Don't look!Just—turn around!" She scrambles to cover up.
I huff out a laugh at her attempt at modesty. "You do realize I've seen you naked before, right?" I say as I turn away to give her some privacy.
I make a solid attempt at not thinking back to our most intimate of moments, when Jude was trying to convince me to seduce Nicasia for information, and we got wrapped up in each other instead. That night finds its way into my thoughts often, and I remember how Jude had once said we just needed to get the tension out of our systems once and for all. If only that were true for me.
"How long have you been standing there?" She asks.
My back still turned, I say, "A few minutes. Long enough for you to wash your hair, then wash your face." I ramble on. "I didn't see anything aside from the faint tan line on your shoulder."
"Ugh!" She complains. "You're unbelievable."
"I got bored." I shrug, and her hand appears from behind the curtain to snatch up the towel from the rack beside me, then I hear rustling as she tries to cover up.
"So you thought it was a better idea to come in here and scare me to death?" She pauses. "Um, you can turn around now. How did you get in here?"
I turn to face her, caught off guard by her glistening, clean skin, toned arms and beautiful legs as she steps over the wall of the tub. She holds the towel in place between her legs to keep it from riding up, her other hand gripping the towel where it is twisted and tucked in place at her chest.
I swallow and try to remember how to speak. "It wasn't that hard. You left the door unlocked." I keep my eyes locked on hers, showing her I can control myself.
She Furrows her eyebrows and realizes her mistake. "But how did you--"
"Slip in unnoticed?" I finish for her.
She nods.
"Jude, I've become very good at this spy thing. I think you'd even be proud of some of the things I've accomplished."
"Such as?" she asks, sounding bored out of her mind.
"Well--" I start, and have a hard time containing my amusement. "--sneaking up on you totally and utterly naked, for starters. I thought you would have sensed me long before I could get away with it."
"You're hilarious." She says flatly and grabs for another towel to dry her hair. She tilts her head to the side and pats her hair with the towel.
I step over to the sink and have a seat on the counter top, pushing my body all the way back so my legs can hang from the edge.
She makes her way over and comes to stand beside me, in front of the sink. She grabs a bottle of some sort of lotion, squeezes some into her hand, and massages it into her hair.
"So." She says, looking at me while she works the lotion through her hair. "You got bored after you snooped all through my room, so you decided to come in here for a little bit of fun?" she asks.
Her cheeks are a little pink from the warmth of the shower, and all I want to do is touch her face. But instead, I just laugh at her question and shake my head. "I didn't go through your things." I respond. "But I was bored, and this seemed like a better way to cause trouble."
She just stares at me. "Hold on. I left you alone in my room, and you didn't go through my stuff? Weren't you just the least bit curious?" She twists her still-wet hair and lets it drop over the shoulder closest to me.
"You seem disappointed that I didn't snoop." I accuse her. She almost smiles, and reaches for another bottle of lotion, but this time it's for her face.
"I'm just a little surprised. Who knew you possessed that level of self-control?" She smiles, and while she's smoothing the cream over her face, my hand wanders to her twisted hair.
I can't help myself. I start running my fingers through it, and she's startled enough that her hands stop on her face. She looks at me, but doesn't say anything, so I keep doing it. She goes back to massaging her face.
"So, tell me something, Your Majesty. How are you here when you have a kingdom to run?"
"Well, Your Majesty--" She stops again, apparently surprised to hear me refer to her this way. "--I have a small handful of people I trust to run things while I slip away." I briefly look her in the eyes, but my gaze fixes back on my fingers in her wet auburn hair. Her forehead wrinkles slightly between her eyes, and she looks thoughtful.
She sets the bottle down in front of her, and I twist her hair around as she had done before, my fingers brushing against her skin lightly as I let her hair fall over her towel-covered body.
I finally lift my eyes and find her gazing back at me, her face flushed, but not from the heat of the shower. She's blushing, and it makes me smile.
"You were right to take a shower, because you smell incredible right now."
I didn't think it was possible, but her face goes a deeper shade of red. "Thanks." She says quietly, and checks the security of the towel wrapped around her body.
"Jude, you don't need to feel so self-conscious or embarrassed around me. Again, I've already seen you naked, and you've definitely seen me naked multiple times, so relax."
"Yeah, well, that was before--" she looks at herself in the mirror and starts untangling her hair, fluffing it out.
"Before what?" I ask her.
"Before everything." She says, not wanting to look at me. As if that makes any sense. She turns toward the door, and I grab her hand, pulling her back toward me until she's standing in the space in front of me, between my legs.
I hold both of her hands in mine and look into her eyes for a long moment, searching for the right words to say.
"I'm not an idiot." I say. "I know you don't trust me, and you probably don't want to trust me, but I meant what I said about calling truce. I really need you as an ally right now."
She lets out a long breath, studying me.
"An ally. I thought that was the point of keeping Nicasia around."
Nicasia. Does she think Nicasia and I--?
"Jude, just stop right there." I let go of one of her hands to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "I haven't kept Nicasia around as an ally, and trust me, there's nothing going on between us—"
"Cardan, please, you don't have to—"
"Jude. I'm not just trying to make you feel better by talking circles around the truth. This is me being completely open and honest. No games."
We make eye contact, and she knows I'm telling the truth. I can't lie to her.
"Nicasia isn't being held hostage, but she's more of a—" I stop to search for the right word. "—an incentive to keep Orlagh from attacking."
She's quiet for a moment, looking at me as if she's thinking through what I just said.
"Explain to me how she is not a hostage if you need her around in order to keep from being destroyed."
She makes a good point. "Yes, I may need her, but she knows she can leave at any time. The problem is, Orlagh will most likely disown her daughter if the two of us aren't married, so Nicasia can't go home for that reason. And marrying her is completely out of the realm of possibilities, so—"
"It's an endless loop." She says softly, looking up at me. "You know, I can actually appreciate that level of cleverness."
We smile at each other and she tugs on my hand to lead me out of the room, explaining that she really wants to put some clothes on.
I follow her into her room and flop onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling as she bustles about looking for her clothes.
"As clever as you are, I don't understand how you would consider me an ally." She says from across the room where she's standing in front of her dresser, her back to me.
I glance over at her and she's still in her towel. I smile and look back up at the ceiling. "How's that?" I ask.
"Cardan." She says seriously.
That gets my attention so I sit up to look at her. I don't know for sure where she's going to take this conversation, but I have an idea. She turns around to face me.
"One, I killed your brother."
And there it is. No warning. I take a deep breath. "Yes, you did. And for a brief time after I sent you away, I was angry with you for it." I say simply.
"And you're not still angry about it?"
I stand up and walk over to her.
"Cardan, you have to know I didn't kill him in cold blood." Her hands are trembling as I get closer to her. She nearly drops the clothes she pulled out of her dresser.
I put my hands on her shoulders, caressing her bare skin.
"I know, Jude. I know it wasn't intentional."
"Then why—"
"I wasn't surprised to find out about Balekin's death that morning, because I already knew." Her eyes widen. "But I was disappointed you didn't tell me what happened when you had the chance."
"You're right. I should have told you. I wanted to, and I thought I'd have the time to explain before everything fell apart."
She turns her gaze away from mine, out of shame I can assume. After a moment she looks back up at me.
"How did you know?" She asks.
I think back to that night, when I was poisoned, my army was stolen from me, and when Balekin made his move against Jude.
In the early hours of the morning, The Bomb woke me, but insisted Jude remain asleep. She was curled up next to me, her arm draped over my chest, and my arms were wrapped around her.
I slipped out of bed carefully, threw on a robe, and The Bomb pulled me out into the hall where she told me what some others had witnessed in the courtyard between Jude and Balekin. That there was an unfairly-matched duel, and that the High King's Seneschal had taken Balekin down despite her only fighting with a dagger against Balekin's sword. It was then I knew she had to be defending herself.
I look at Jude. "The Bomb told me what happened. There were witnesses." I told her the story exactly how it happened, not leaving out any details.
As I expect, she is surprised by this revelation.
"That explains why you didn't blow up at me that morning Orlagh showed up, because you already knew. In fact, you were already up and ready for the day. I always thought that was strange. You and mornings never agreed. I almost always had to pull your hungover ass out of bed."
"Hmm. So true." I say, agreeing with her. "What else is bothering you about us being allies?"
She gestures to have me turn around while she slips her clothes on. I hear her towel drop to the floor.
"Cardan, we've hated each other for as long as we've known each other." She says as she continues to dress.
Her words make me cringe.
"How can we even trust each other, knowing we're always playing this game of trying to outdo and betray the other person? Can a truce even exist?"
She begins to move behind me, and out the corner of my eye she heads to her closet and turns toward me. I take this as my cue that it's safe to look at her now.
She has a shirt on with thin straps, exposing her bare shoulders, and covering her lower half are—panties? She's standing before me in almost nothing except her underwear.
Don't be stupid. Don't be stupid.
She's grinning at me now as we talk, like it's no big deal that I can basically see her entire body in it's beautiful glory, but more likely because she knows I'm staring at her and trying to remain unaffected.
I suddenly remember she asked me a question. What was it?
Oh, right. "Isn't that why we call a truce? To swear off fighting against each other?" I ask her as she turns around to grab a folded piece of clothing.
She slides the pants over her legs, and pulls them up over her backside. She turns around to face me and closes the distance between us. My eyes don't leave hers as she comes to stand in front of me. I shove my hands in my pockets.
"Do you really think you can do that?" She challenges.
"You forget this was my idea. And to answer your question, I already know I can. The real question is, dearest Jude—" I flick her nose with my finger."—can you?"
END OF CHAPTER 8
Okay, I know this was a really long chapter, but it had to be! There are so many unresolved issues between our main characters, but I kinda love the tension. Don't you?
