Disclaimer: Same as always...
CHAPTER EIGHT
Nikki thought she was going mad. For two weeks she had been struggling trying not to think about Sirius, but the harder she tried, the more she thought of him. She saw him all the time, and because they had an assignment due in their Muggle Studies class, she had to spend long hours and late nights in his company. She was only thankful that Lily was usually there as well.
As she made her way to the library one evening, she recalled how the previous night she had to be alone with him for just fifteen minutes while they were waiting for Lily. They were the longest fifteen minutes of her life; she didn't think Lily was ever going to show up. Everything Sirius said or did made her feel uncomfortable. He kept moving his seat a little closer to hers, and talking to her in a low voice. She had tried to avoid looking at his face, but once she did, she couldn't look away.
His eyes, she said to herself while walking down the corridor, he has such beautiful eyes. I hate him.
Nikki turned to the adjacent hall where the library entrance was, still thinking about Sirius's eyes, and bumped right into someone.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, and the boy she had just collided with turned around. It was Regulus. Nikki expected him to say something rude back to her, but surprisingly, he didn't. He just stared at her with no expression on his face, and walked away.
"That was odd," Nikki said to herself and she entered the library. She found Lily already sitting at a table, with books and loose parchments everywhere.
"Oh good, you're here. Sirius is still at Quidditch practice," Lily said when she saw Nikki.
"Do we need to go through all these books?" Nikki asked, feeling tired just looking at them.
"Well, I just grabbed anything I could find. I expect that half of them are going to be rubbish," she replied. "But listen, I got special permission from Madam Pince to work late in here tonight. I'm gonna have to leave a bit earlier though 'cause I need to do some paperwork with James for Dumbledore."
"Oh," Nikki said, feeling a little uneasy. "So, the library is going to be…empty?"
"Yep," Lily said with an enthusiastic smile. "You and Sirius can have the whole place to yourself."
"Great," Nikki muttered to herself as she took a seat at the table where she and Lily worked until Sirius finally showed up.
"'Evening, ladies," he said cheerfully as he sat down with them. He looked like he had just taken a shower; his hair was still wet and he smelled like fresh-scented soap.
"It's night," Nikki said grumpily. She wondered how he could be in such a good mood when there was so much work to be done.
"Here, these are for you," Lily said as she pushed a tall stack of books towards him, and Sirius didn't look very happy anymore. He realized very quickly that talking unnecessarily with two tired and moody girls wasn't going to do him any good so he reluctantly started working without saying a word.
Two hours of hard work later, Lily closed her book shut and said, "Alright, my part is over. I really need to meet James now."
"For what?" Sirius asked her with a raised eyebrow.
"To work on something for Professor Dumbledore," Lily said sternly. Sirius grinned and looked at Nikki, who couldn't help but grin back at him.
They both looked at Lily with grins on their faces and Lily stared back at them not looking very amused.
"You guys are annoying," she said as she handed them her part of the project and left the library.
Nikki realized that she and Sirius were alone in the dark, empty library, and she started to feel queasy. What the hell is wrong with me? Stop it, stop it, stop it, she kept telling herself. It's just Sirius—I don't even like him that much. It's just a stupid temporary physical attraction. Get a grip!
Sirius, who was also quite conscious of their sudden privacy, stretched out in his chair and yawned lazily.
"I knew I shouldn't have eaten three servings of mashed potatoes for dinner. I'm so sleepy now." He laid his head on the table and his now dry hair fell over on Nikki's arm. She couldn't help but notice how soft it was as it slowly draped off her arm when she moved it away. Her arm had goose bumps on them and she scolded herself. How did she suddenly become so irresistibly attracted to him? Sirius put his head back up again and tried to do some more work.
When he really couldn't write anymore, he put his quill down. "Let's take a break."
"What?" Nikki protested. "But we hardly have any time."
"I know but I can't think. Let's just walk around or something at least," he said getting up from his chair.
"Okay," Nikki hesitated, "but we can't leave the library."
"Yeah, I know. Let's just take a turn through the restricted section or something," he said with a grin.
"Fine." Nikki unenthusiastically got up from her seat and proceeded to walk around the library with Sirius. They were meandering through the dark bookshelves when Nikki noticed a book on the floor.
She bent down to pick it up and when she was about to put it on the shelf, Sirius suddenly said with alarm, "Don't move."
"Why?" Nikki asked, feeling worried.
"There's a spider crawling on your cheek!"
"Oh my gosh, get it off!" Nikki yelled.
"I don't wanna touch it!" Sirius said, looking a little apprehensive.
"Sirius!" Nikki said angrily.
"Hold on," he said, and very slowly, flicked it off of her cheek. "Oh shit! It's on your neck now!"
"Aah!" Nikki screamed. "Don't let it get in my hair!" She bunched all of her hair over to one side.
"Okay wait," Sirius said as he leaned in close to her and blew spider off.
"Is it gone?" Nikki asked him, afraid to move.
"Wait…" Sirius said to her, not moving back up yet. He noticed that Nikki had goose bumps on her neck, and that her skin smelled really nice—like sweet fruity musk. He took in a deep breath and said in a very soft voice, "I see something…it's like a trail of little bugs crawling up…"
"What the hell is—EEKS!" Nikki screamed as Sirius ran his finger gently up her neck. She grabbed his arm to move it way from her and Sirius started to laugh.
"That wasn't funny!" she said, laughing nervously.
"Then why are you laughing?" he asked her with a smile.
"I'm not!" she said, still smiling, but feeling uneasy at the same time. They both stood there, not moving. Nikki became aware of the fact that she still had a hold of Sirius's arm, and then she became very aware of the fact that he had a hold of hers, and that his hand was moving up very slowly. She could feel herself getting prickly again. Nikki couldn't look at Sirius. She just kept her eyes away from his face as the butterflies that were in her stomach started to flutter around wildly. This can't be good, she thought to herself, but she didn't move as she felt his hand move from her arm to behind her back, and pull her closer to him.
She finally dared to look up, meeting Sirius's eyes. A voice in Nikki's head, barely audible through her loudly thumping heart, kept telling her to move away from Sirius, that she shouldn't be so close to him, that she was crazy for just standing there. She finally tore away from his hard gaze, snapping out of her frozen state and let go of Sirius's arm, just as he swiftly leaned down to her face and pressed his lips against hers. Nikki felt her face grow hot and her heart racing so fast and hard that she thought even Sirius would be able to hear it. Oh my God, she thought to herself, what is he doing? What am I doing? Push him away, you fool.
But Nikki didn't push him away. She couldn't. Even though she knew it was wrong, she also knew that this was her first kiss—and she liked it. Her attraction to Sirius grew even stronger as his soft lips were caressing hers. Her face was cooling down but she felt her body start to get really hot as the kiss intensified. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, she said to herself. Oh my God, I think he's trying to get past my lips and into my—holy crap—what am I supposed to do?
Sirius very softly bit her lip and Nikki let out a small gasp, which allowed him to finally get more access to her mouth. He ran one of his hands through her soft silky hair while the other one found its way under her shirt, behind her back. As he continued to kiss her a little harder now and stroked her smooth skin, he wondered how he could have resisted her for so long.
Nikki couldn't handle it anymore. She was breathing way too hard and thought her stomach was going to explode of all the butterflies it had. She pushed Sirius away from her gently, but firmly, keeping her eyes lowered. She could feel her face get hot again, and she suddenly felt ashamed of what she had just let him do.
"I'm sorry," Sirius said quietly, realizing her apparent embarrassment. When she didn't say anything he cursed himself. Idiot, he said, why can't you ever control yourself?
Nikki cleared her throat and looked at her watch. "It's getting late," she said. "We should finish up the assignment and leave." They walked back to their table, both feeling very awkward.
They sat back down in their seats, which Nikki noticed were uncomfortably close at the moment. Nikki tried to concentrate on her work, not daring to glance at Sirius. They worked for a good half hour, not saying anything or looking at each other. It wasn't until Sirius asked Nikki a question about the assignment that the silence was broken. She had to lean in a little closer to him to read the book he was asking about.
"Yeah," she said, keeping her eyes on the book. "We do need to add that bit in."
"Okay," he said. Sirius studied her face, trying to figure out what she was thinking. She didn't look angry, but she didn't look happy either.
Nikki quickly tried to steal a glance at Sirius but was caught off guard when she saw that he was looking right at her. It was the same intense stare that had her deadlocked before. Before she could think another thought, she found herself kissing Sirius again, with the same intensity that they had left off from. She knew that it if she didn't stop now, it would go further than it already had, so she pulled herself away from him.
"I think we're pretty much done," Nikki said, panting slightly, while putting her books away into her backpack.
"Right," Sirius agreed with her. He was a little relieved that she pulled away from the kiss. He didn't think he would've been able to stop himself.
Sirius walked Nikki out of the library and to the door to the Ravenclaw common room. It was a very quiet walk, except for the loud voice screaming in Nikki's head: Holy shit! I can't believe I just made out with Sirius. I'm such an idiot! I'm just like one of those stupid floozies that fawn after him. Oh my God, he probably thinks I'm some sexually deprived horny freak and he's gonna go and tell all of his friends about this. What if everyone finds out? I'll be dead meat!
Nikki felt angry and ashamed of herself, and she was worried about the consequences of her foolish actions.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said to Sirius, trying to avoid his eyes, lest she be tempted by them again.
"Yeah," he said. "Uh…I hope you're not—"
"Listen," Nikki said, cutting him off, "I'm really tired and stressed out and I dunno what was going through my head tonight."
"Okay," Sirius said, looking a little puzzled.
"I mean," Nikki tried to clarify herself. "I've never done anything like that before and I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything about this. To anyone."
"Anyone?" Sirius repeated.
"Anyone," Nikki affirmed. "If this somehow gets around and my cousin finds out and he tells my parents, I'll be dead. And then I'd have to kill you."
Sirius contemplated for a moment and then gave her a quizzical smile and said with a wink, "Don't worry, it'll be our little secret."
A/N: Just changed a bit of the ending on this one...made it less cheesy. hehe enjoy!
