So, it is currently 6:30pm on my end here (Central US time anyways), and so I decided either to A) read yaoi or B) update…obviously I love you guys too much haha. XD
Hiroki sat in the hospital room, staring at the white sheets in a daze as he waited for the doctor to return. It had been a good hour now, and according to the time he was to be fed lunch since he couldn't go out and get food for himself. His eyes went back down to the IV in his arm, and he glared at it as though it was the cause of his malnutrition. 'If I can take in a lot of vitamins and minerals to get better then…they'll let me go, right?' He thought, putting a hand to his face to cover his mouth as he thought. The sound of his stomach growling filled the room, and his patience only shortened as he heard it.
Reaching for the calling button, he was going to press it before he heard footsteps approaching his room. His hand receded from the button, assuming that it was a nurse coming with his food. The sound of the footsteps became louder and louder, and as Hiroki listened, he noticed that the footsteps were much faster than that of a nurse with a tray of food. 'What the hell?'
The door opened harshly, making a slamming sound as it connected with the wall. Hiroki felt a pang of fear in his heart, inching backwards in the bed as the panting from the mysterious person entered the room. The stranger had yet to walk forward to reveal whom they were, and Hiroki was growing more anxious as he waited.
"H-Hello?" He asked, trying to calm his shaking voice. His hand started to go for the button once more, this time to call someone who might help him before he heard the gentle voice speak.
"W…wait" The man said between pants, still trying to calm his rapidly beating heart from the running as well as the worry that had been enveloping him since he left his office.
Hiroki stopped, taking his hand back as relief replaced the fear, now knowing that it was the person he had called almost an hour ago to come to his aid. He tried to make his voice sound more presentable, changing it from the terrified one he had spoken in only minutes ago. "Kusama-san?" He asked, hoping that it was whom he had thought it was.
Nowaki – now physically calmer – walked into view. He saw Hiroki surrounded by all of the medical equipment and his heart sank. He felt better knowing that Hiroki wasn't as bad as he had expected, but the fact that the man was still in the hospital still touched that philanthropist inside of him. He hadn't even realized how surprised yet worried his expression had turned until Hiroki started to speak again.
"Hey, are you alright?"
Nowaki nodded, shaking his head as he realized how his expression might have looked and changing it to a big smile. "Yes, yes I'm fine. It's just, when they called me and said that you were in the hospital I just assumed the worst." He laughed, trying to brighten the mood. "I'm glad to see that you're alright, or as alright as I had hoped you would be."
Hiroki nodded, turning away to hide his face as he blushed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, hearing that Nowaki was so worried about him made him happy. So happy, in fact, that he could have smiled if he wasn't so shy of showing his face or such a simple gesture of happiness at that.
"Well, thank you." He muttered, looking down at his hands while Nowaki took the liberty to sit down in the chair next to him.
"Er…Hiroki-san." Nowaki said, now fiddling with his own fingers as he tried to think of a way to ask without offending the other.
"You want to ask why I'm here, don't you?" Hiroki asked, looking over at Nowaki who stared at him as though he could read minds. He shook his head and sighed. "The question is practically written all over your face."
"Well, I'm just genuinely curious…"
"It's fine, I did ask them to call you here." He began, shifting uncomfortably. "I don't know what else to do with myself, I'm even too scared to fall asleep since It just keeps coming back to me." He buried his face into his hands.
"What keeps coming back? Hiroki-san, did something happen?" Nowaki asked, leaning in to get a glimpse of Hiroki's face as he saw him start to physically tremble.
"The images…of me…and him…in front of Akhiko…oh god." Hiroki didn't expect to get this sense of regret come back to him all over again once he started to talk about it. His body shook while he held back the tears, remembering how he sat in the shower for so long and the bruises that covered his whole body.
Nowaki saw how Hiroki's composure started to slip, the severities of the situation becoming all too clear to him now. He reached a hand out to touch the man on the shoulder, Hiroki's shaking stopping abruptly at the contact. Hiroki continued to keep his head in his hands, knowing that if he looked up then he would certainly begin to sob.
"In front of Akihiko? What happened? Hiroki-san…you can tell me anything, I promise." Nowaki spoke soothingly, trying to console Hiroki as he started to become a mess of undone nerves.
Hiroki didn't calm down in the least, which only caused Nowaki to feel even more torture in his heart as he watched Hiroki fall apart. He couldn't think of any way to help him, mostly since he didn't know what was wrong.
Hiroki didn't want to speak, not anymore. He knew he had called Nowaki to come to him, but now as he started to talk about it, the impact was much greater than he had thought. So much that he didn't want to talk about it, but instead kept quiet. Lost in his own little world, he didn't notice Nowaki inching closer to him until he felt a large pair of arms wrap around his small body and his head sink into a warm body, the sound of the others heartbeat entering his ears.
'What?' he thought, removing his hands from his face as he looked up at the noirette who had buried his face into the brunettes hair.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't think of any other way to calm you down." Nowaki spoke apologetically, rubbing Hiroki's arm as he spoke. "I just want to know what's wrong, it's my job of course but also…I'm worried about you, Hiroki-san. I've been worried about you since I met you. Is it so wrong?"
Hiroki shook his head against Nowaki's chest; the gentle touch causing different emotions start to well up inside of him. The tears that he had been keeping inside fell freely onto Nowaki's shirt. "It's okay…" He whispered, his hand grabbing onto Nowaki's arm. "Shinoda…he…he raped me…" Hiroki spoke between small sobs; the pain of keeping it held in left him as soon as it had come.
Nowaki continued to hold Hiroki, now gentler than before as he heard the smaller man admit it. He didn't want to yell, even though he was secretly angry just at the thought of people forcing themselves onto someone else, especially someone like Hiroki who was already lost in another love. Instead of asking any more questions, assuming the questions would deepen the scar from the trauma, the two just sat in silence.
Hiroki started to grow more comfortable in the mans arms, almost falling asleep before he was started back awake by the movement of Nowaki as he let him go slowly, putting him back down onto the bed.
"Huh?" He said groggily, turning over to look at Nowaki who was starting to grab his things. "You're leaving already?" He asked, watching as Nowaki turned around with surprise to see that he was still awake.
"Yes, I'm sorry." He apologized. "My other clients do need my help, and I want to help you as much as I want to help them but…" He paused, going to his bag and rummaging through it before he found a small notepad and a pen. "Here." He said, writing something down onto the sheet of paper and handing it to Hiroki. "It's my personal phone number, since I can't be in the office all of the time and you may need my help again…I'm always here to talk." He said with a smile while Hiroki looked down at the sheet of paper. With that, he left the room.
Hiroki looked down at the sheet of paper, without saying a word, he folded it up and put it down next to him.
Hiroki had been confined to the hospital for another day, the doctors monitoring his health every few hours to be sure he was eating right as well as sleeping. After they were sure he was fine, they allowed him to go.
He walked outside of the large building, now glad that he was able to leave that alarmingly white room back into the world of color. He never noticed how warm the sunlight was until he had been away from it for so long, now taking it all in with a sigh. He stared up at the sky, watching the clouds roll by as he stood outside of the hospital. He began to reminisce about the times that he would fly kites with Akihiko, getting lost in his daydreams. He was quickly brought back to reality by the sound of a honking car. Startled, he looked over to see the infamous red sports car of his childhood friend.
"Hiroki!" Akihiko called, although he was sure that Hiroki heard him.
"Oh, if it isn't the great lord Usami?" Hiroki said sarcastically, putting a hand on his hip while he stood in his usual stance of feigned annoyance.
"Well, you certainly seem to be better." Akihiko muttered. "Get in, I'll take you home." He ordered, gesturing for Hiroki to get inside.
'That's just like you.' Hiroki thought, walking over to the car and getting in voluntarily. Before he could even buckle himself in, Akihiko had already started off again.
"I heard you had been in the hospital." Akihiko stated bluntly, not bothering with the details. "They wouldn't tell me where you were, so I decided to just drive around the ones close to your job until I found you."
'Why do you care?' Hiroki thought, putting his arm down onto the car door while he stared out of the window. "I was, it wasn't anything big. Just some minor health problems" He lied.
"I don't think minor health problems result in you going unconscious for half an hour and being in the hospital for a day and a half." Akihiko retorted, pulling out a cigarette from the box and lighting it up.
"It's not too un-natural." Hiroki mumbled.
"Are you sure there isn't anything going on?" Akihiko asked, trying to elicit an answer from the tired brunette.
"I'm positive." Hiroki hissed, sounding much more annoyed than he should have. He wasn't trying to be mean, he just didn't want to talk about it anymore.
The two of them continued to sit in silence for the rest of the car ride, neither wanting to say anything to the other as they both seemed to agree that talking wasn't the best thing to do right now. As the car pulled into Hiroki's apartment complex, Hiroki started to fiddle with the car lock as to get out of the awkward situation as quickly as possible.
"Hiroki," Akihiko spoke softly, interrupting Hiroki's attempt at escape for a moment. His hand went to Hiroki's hair, causing Hiroki to look back at him. Akihiko gave a small smile, with a hint of sadness as he continued. "…Take care of yourself, alright?"
Hiroki didn't know what to say, since he had never seen such an expression on his friend in the amount of time that he had known him. He gave a nod in return, not saying anything else as he opened the door and closed it just as quickly. Akihiko waved before pulling out of the space and driving away.
'You're too kind…'
Hiroki cried out into his hand, trying to muffle the sounds he was making while Shinoda hit his sweet spot over and over again, trying to coax Hiroki's voice out of him.
They had been at it for almost an hour now, Hiroki's face stained with tears and sweat as he tried to ignore the pleasure that was radiating throughout his whole body that was even overpowering the fear he felt that his friend would wake up at any moment.
"You love this, don't you? You keep trying to pretend that you don't, but everytime I do this," as he spoke the last word, he thrust into Hiroki to which he gave another agonized moan. "You moan like the little slut you really are. There's no difference from all of the other times we've done it, except for this time it's next to your beloved Usami-san…how does it feel?"
'No…no!'
"No!" Hiroki screamed, jumping up in bed in a cold sweat. He put a hand to his chest, feeling his own racing heartbeat. He glanced over at the clock, which read 11:30. He had only been asleep for two hours now, and much to his dismay he knew he wouldn't be getting to sleep anytime soon.
'Damn it.' He thought, putting a hand to his face. He got up to go to the restroom, opening the door and flipping the light switch while the white light filled the room. 'I just need to clear my head is all.' He thought, turning the water on and splashing a bit onto his face before reaching for a towel and wiping his face dry. As his gaze went to the mirror, he grimaced at the sight. His hair was disheveled as well as his eyes carrying large dark circles underneath them; he didn't want to look anymore. He walked towards the door and turned the lights off behind him, looking over at the end table where the folded up sheet of paper sat.
Picking it up, he unfolded it and saw the number written on the inside. He continued to stare at it, as though he were thinking of what to do as he picked up his cell phone that sat next to it. 'It wouldn't hurt to call…' He thought, reassuring himself that what he was doing wasn't a bad thing as he dialed the number on the paper.
The phone rang a few times, the ringing stopping as the sound of shuffling could be heard then the sleepy voice of the therapist.
"Hello?"
This took me like, hours to write. I feel like I'm getting rusty, but I think I will get better once I finally get caught up in all of my schoolwork. Hopefully it will be soon. Well, turkey day break this week! So, fast update? I hope so. :D
