Chapter 8: Looking for Some Comfort

"Inside of me

Inside of me

Yeah, inside of me

Inside of me"

It is April 26; the day that haunts her and will forever. The horrible event that changed her life forever happened exactly one year ago.

All day Stella had kept herself busy to avoid thinking about the attack. But when work was over, she was afraid to go home. She was sure all the team members knew what today was, but not one of them said a thing or offered her any comfort; just as abandoned as a year ago, she goes to her apartment alone, desperately attempting to forget.

Now she lies on her bed, sleeping away her pain and loneliness, gun resting in her hands on her stomach. It is a deep sleep, Frankie endlessly taunting her dreams.

Outside her apartment door, a man, Mac, stands, wanting to help his best friend. He finally lifts his hand up to knock on the door; she doesn't answer it. Again, a bit louder, he knocks and gets the same response. He pulls his keys from his jean pocket and finds the one he needs. In case of emergencies, they had exchanged keys shortly after Claire past away; Mac hadn't needed to use it before now.

As he opens the door and enters, he listens carefully for a sign of life in the apartment. There is no trace of her until he reaches her bedroom, discovering her asleep.

Just by looking at her, you would think everything was good. As soon as you saw what she was clutching in her hands, though, the perfect image would be destroyed. This strong woman was obviously still hurting, and Mac is well aware of it.

Softly he runs a hand through her smooth brown curls, and Stella shifts on the bed but doesn't wake. Seeing her alive and unharmed makes him smile. After another minute of watching her, he carefully takes the gun from her cold hands, planning on putting it in the kitchen just to be sure she wouldn't be harmed. Taking one last look at her, Mac turns to leave. At the door, a small voice stops him.

"Why are you here?" Stella asks, eyes observing the familiar surroundings. When she spots the gun in his hands, she unconsciously backs away.

"I know what today is and how hard it must be for you. I just came to make sure you're alright," he walks back to the bed.

"What's the… what's the gun for?" she sits up and moves over to let him sit down.

"Oh, you had it in your hands. The safety was on, but I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't hurt yourself." Mac hands the gun back to her, and she sets it on the nightstand. "I know I wasn't much help through this last year, but I want to make it up to you. Let me help you."

Stella seems to contemplate his words. "I've been through so much this past year. I don't know if Frankie's attack or this whole HIV thing is worse. My life goes from one disaster to the next, and I think it's getting more dangerous for me."

"No one's life is that bad, and yours could be a lot worse. You have a good job, a home, friends. Many women die in domestic violence situations, but you managed to fight him off. And as for the HIV, we don't know for sure whether you have it or not. Even if you do, we caught it early enough for it to be maintained and not develop into AIDS."

"I… I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. But if you ever do, I'm always here to listen."

"I know."

"Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?"

"I…," she begins, wanting to tell him she's a big girl and can take care of herself. "If you don't have other plans."

Mac makes himself comfortable on the bed. "Good night, Stella."

"Night, Mac," she lays back down. Before he turns the light off, she gets a glimpse of the time: 10:45; the time, or what the ME had estimated, as Frankie's time of death.

Even though the room is dark, he can tell she's crying. Without trying to force her into it, he pulls her over closer to him. He lets her cry herself to sleep, head on his chest.

A/N: Just a reminder that the next two chapters are extremely sad and involve a character death. I have homework yet to do. Stupid Lord of the Flies. The stem quizzes are like twenty billion times worse 'cause you have to know fifteen new words along with ten or so new stems plus all the previous weeks' stuff. I didn't do so well when I went through my study cards during study hall today. And I have to make my lunch. I can't wait until next Wednesday. We do find out next week. I got more chapters of the one story typed so it's about half way done now. I'll update this one tomorrow and either the one started or I'll edit the new one and post the first chapter. For those of you who are interested, the one story already up is Bad Can Turn Good and the new one is... A Family at Last maybe. I honestly don't remember other than the word Family is somewhere in there. Something always happens to Stella the last episode of April. First season she shoved the autopsy photo in the girl's face and got a complaint. Last year it was Frankie attacking her and this year she finds out about her HIV. I'm seriously going to bother my dance teacher all Saturday about it and Wednesday when I see her for pictures. I gotto go. Please review. Thanks.