I stood there for awhile. The only thing between Jeremy and I was air and that wasn't very much there. He held me close to him; if felt nice to feel his breath. I smiled feeling him breath out, he felt me smile or something. I felt his chest rise and fall, he pulled me into his bed. I layed on him bed with him. He turned his TV on as I sat on his lap. I put my head on his chest so I could feel his chest raise and fall. He would put his chin close to my head so I could feel his breath. I was so happy that someone I cared about could give me what I wanted so much. To be able to breath, thats all I wanted for so much. Now he would breath, he would breath for me. It was different when I breathed, his was the best. I snuggled close to him, like a human would. With him I didn't feel like I was a monster. I felt like with him, I could do anything, be anything. I would do, be and give him anything; if that ment he was happy. He was my Jeremy, my world; I couldn't picture not knowing him. I was once told, everything happens for a reason. So maybe being turned into a vampire was a good thing. I was able to meet Jeremy, I couldn't be without him now. I would have to change him someday. I knew I would, I didn't want to. Changing him would be the only thing I could do, to keep him with me. I wasn't going to let anything hurt him.
"Lilly?" He said looking at me.
"Yes Jeremy?"
"I wont make you do it. If you don't want to."
"I will, just like I said I would. I wont take you from Elena though. I couldn't do that to her."
"So is Stefan telling her?"
"That was the plan, I'm not not going to tell you."
"Come, lets see!" He said as he let me up. He lead me to the wall where his and Elena's rooms met. We put our ears up to the wall to hear better. I could hear Stefan trying to tell her without telling her, "Come on. Lets go help him!"
"Wait, what?" I followed him into Elena's room.
"Elena like I said there are stronger things out ther- Hello you two..." Stefan looked at me. I pointed to Jeremy who jumped on his sisters bed.
"So Stefan did you tell my sister?"
"Tell me what?"
"He's a vampire! Just like Lilly!"
"WHAT!? HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?! I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ME! WHY DID MY BROTHER KNOW BEFORE ME!?"
"Elena please...I was trying to...and Lilly told Jeremy. I was in here trying to tell you...I do care about you!"
"Chill sis, it's ok! They wont hurt us!"
"How do you know?!"
"I don't, they haven't yet though have they?"
"Well..."
"See!"
"Who says they wont?!"
"Stefan is what you call a 'vegatarian' he only drinks animal blood. Damon and Lilly know how to control their blood." Jeremy said.
"Why are you a vegatarian?"
"Stefan doesn't know how to control his blood!" Damon said jumping through the window.
"Damon!" I ran to him and hugged him tight. "Why are you here brother?"
"I came to see what was taking so long!"
"Stefan didn't know how to tell her...I told Jeremy and he told Elena!"
"Sounds just like Stefan!"
"Damon..." Stefan said
"Haven't had any puppy blood today?"
"Damon..."
"Right sorry bunny!"
"You eat bunny?" Elena asked.
"No! Damon stop!" Stefan snapped.
"Damon..." I said weakly...
"Hm? Lilly how long has it been since you've had blood?"
"Couple of days..."
"Why didn't you get any when we got back to town?"
"I didn't want to attract peole to us..."
"Stefan watch her! I'll be back!" Damon ran off.
"S-stefan...s-somes bleeding..." He looked around.
"None of us..." Elena said looked at Jeremy.
"It's outside...I c-can smell it..."
"Stay here Lilly! Damon will be back I promise!"
"Jeremy come on, we need to help Lilly!" They ran outside. Stefan held me in his arms. Something seemed off; Damon came back and looked at me. He felt it too; we didn't know it but something was wrong. The next morning after staying over Jeremy and Elena's house; we needed to find out what was wrong. We all went to the fair to see if something there was wrong; nothing came up. It took a few days without feeding for us to figure it out. There was a vampire hunter in town. He was 'passing through' like others before him. When he found out Damon was a vampire it wasn't long before his attance turned to our family. One night while we were at Jeremy and Elena's house the smell of blood filled the room. I went crazy; Stefan had been drinking animal blood he was fine. Damon could handle himself to a point. I on the other hand was nothing like my brothers. I sat trying to fight it; but in no time Damon had me pinned on the bed holding me down.
"You can't go out there!"
"I NEED blood Damon!"
"You will be fine!"
"It's been almost a week since I've had blood!"
"Lilly, Damon if it's ok with you...you can feed off me Lilly..." Jeremy said.
"There's no where to bite so noone would see!" I protested.
"Sure there is!" Damon said pulling Jeremy close.
"Right there!" I pointed remembering the place I've bit so many others.
"Right..."
"Go ahead!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" Jeremy said looking at me.
"I don't know..."
"You need it! I'm not going to let you starve!" I pulled him close and started to drink his blood. It was so good, I couldn't find it in myself to stop. Jeremy tried to pull his arm away from me to stop me but it didn't. When he's body stopped moving so much and his breathing slowed; Damon wrapped his arms around me pulling me away. I looked at him than at Jeremy.
"J-jeremy...I-I'm so sorry...I-I didn't..." I felt for a wall but found myself in Damon's arms.
"I-I'm fine..." Jeremy said as Stefan took care of him. I knew he wasn't; but I felt to bad to fight with him. I could have killed him; Elena was right! I was a monster! Nothing anyone could say would change that. I almost killed Jeremy...I would never drink blood again! The next morning I sat in the I smelled Jeremy I ran outside.
"No!" Damon grabbed me and pushed me back inside. I paniced, I didn't want to see what I had done to him. He was being kind and I could have killed him.
"Damon please..." I cried, I didn't want to see the look on Jeremy's face.
"Lilly I'm fine..." Jeremy said reaching for me. I slide down the wall to the floor and cried. Damon opened the door and helped me up.
"I-I'm so sorry Jeremy..." I hide my face in Damon's chest.
"I'm not upset Lilly; I knew there was the possiblity for that. I took it anyway because I needed to make sure you were ok! Don't worry about me I'm fine!" He said smiling.
"You don't look fine! Honstly you look like crap!" I yelled with tears rolling down my face.
"Lilly!" Damon pulled me into him, "You must understand Jeremy, she hasn't had blood from a vain in years...when you gave her freash blood she didn't want to stop. She was going to kill you; she knows if I hadn't pulled her away she would have. She cares for you a lot; she doesn't want anyone to hurt you. When she saw she hurt you; it killed her."
"I understand...I'm sorry..."
"WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR?! YOU DIDN'T AMOST KILL SOMEONE YOU LOVE!"
"But I did..."
"YOU JUST DON'T GET IT! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT MY BROTHERS AND I HAVE GONE THROUGH! WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH! YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS TO GET PULLED AWAY FROM EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND CARE ABOUT! OR HOW MUCH THE SUNLIGHT HURTS! OR HOW BAD CRAVINGS CAN GET!" I pushed Damon away, "YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HOLD THE ONES YOU'VE FINALLY GOTTEN CLOSE TO AND WATCH THEM DIE IN YOUR ARMS! OR HOW NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU SAY YOU WONT FALL FOR SOMEONE OR LOVE SOMEONE ELSE YOU DO JUST TO WATCH THEM DIE! SO DON'T YOU STAND THERE AND TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL! THAT YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT KILLS ME TO HURT SOMEONE! DON'T YOU DARE SIT THERE AND FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF..."
"Lilly..."
"NO!" I pulled away from him.
"Lilly, when I was younger I told my parents I hated them...that night on the way back home from picking up Elena their care flew off the road. I never told them good-bye, or that I didn't mean I hated them..."
"I HAVE SAT AND WATCHED MY FAMILIES GET BUCHERED IN FRONT OF ME! ONLY BECAUSE I'M A VAMPIRE AND THEY KNEW ME! I'VE SAT AND WATCHED KIDS BLEED OUT IN FRONT OF ME BECAUSE THEY ASKED ME FOR HELP! You'll never understand how much I wished I wasn't a monster..."
"You're not a monster!"
"YOU DON'T KNOW ME! OR EVEN HALF THE STUFF I'VE BEEN THROUGH!"
"Lilly I would if you told me..."
"Why would I wast the time...So I can wast your life away by telling you? So I can sit and hold you close to me when you die?"
"No..."
"I told myself I woudn't fall for you...I couldn't sit and watch someone else die...and here we are! I'm so good at keeping my promises, the times I swore to myself. They mean nothing; because I can't live up to it..."
"Lilly...I..."
"Your what? Sorry? I don't need your pitty! I don't want it! I don't want anything more to do with you!" I said turning away, "Lets go Damon!"
"I wont let you leave!"
"Like you have the choice!" I said turning to him looking him in the eyes, "I came over to with my brother to see your sister. You HATE me, you can't stand the thought of me! You do everything you can to stay away from me!"
"Lilly..." Damon warned.
"NOW!"
"Why are you in my face?" Jeremy said stairing at me.
"You droped this!" I said giving him paper from my pocket. I knew he wouldn't read it, because I compeled him.
"Don't touch my stuff!"
"I'm leaving! Tell my brother I'm at home!" I said grabing Damon walking out of the house. I made sure I started crying once I hit the sidewalk.
"Why did you do that?"
"To protect him from me..."
