WARNING: SUPER LONG, AND SO MUCH MANSMEX, OHMAIGAWD.
(a/n) ...I didn't realize how long this chapter was...and this is like, a super smut chapter...I almost added another two scenes in there at the end, but I didn't want to give anyone a heart attack. (edit 01/22 : ...I added more. Damn it...) XD I think I took one out, though...I can't keep track. XD This fic is like, a lemon TREE or something... By the way...when Kei leaving is mentioned, it's not after Toshi's death...'cuz Toshi isn't dead. Remember, he interrupted the smut? So he can't be dead, and it's an entirely different instance, blah blah blah... -rambling- Why didn't anybody point out these chapters were morbidly short? XD I guess this one makes up for it, ne?
I woke, head swimming with memories. Turning over, I pulled Kei close to me, resting my chin on his head. He slowly awoke, nuzzling into my chest. I smiled, rubbing his back softly. "Good dream?" Kei looked up blearily.
"Mm...very." He pressed his lips to mine, making me smile. "It was about us."
My grin grew then, as I gripped at his hips, making him laugh. "Mm, It must have been good then."
He chuckled, moving my hands back up again. "Not that kind of dream. It was about when we first met...all the way up until I...came back." Kei looked to the pillow, avoiding my gaze.
I pulled him up, looking into his eyes. "...so did I." He nearly gasped, but caught himself, turning it into an awkward cough. I laughed as he started to turn red. He paused, listening to the song in the background. It had been on repeat the entire time we had slept.
"That explains it..." he muttered, tucking his head under my chin again. I sighed. That dream had reminded me of so many things. I remembered all the good times...I remembered when I fell for Kei, and realized that I had almost lost him on several occasions. Which reminds me. "Kei, why did you leave?" Kei's head snapped up, accidently slamming into me. "OOOOW?!!!"
"Sorry! Sorry, sorry..." He bowed apologetically. I gripped my jaw, wincing slightly.
"'Salright...but, tell me?" He paled, the most forlorn expression on his angelic face.
"I...I..." he turned over and away from me. Whatever the reason was, it was obvious that that time hurt him as much as it hurt me.
"Kei..." I tried to grip your shoulder, but you just shrugged it off. I didn't let it hurt me. You started shaking. 'You're not crying, are you, Kei?' I leaned over you, peering into dry eyes. There were no tears, but seeing that desolation, that despair, in those beautiful green-brown eyes was even more heartbreaking. I sighed, pulling you into my arms, wrapping them tightly around your shoulders. Your hands went under my arms, hooking around and gripping my shoulders. You eventually stopped your shaking. I looked in your eyes. Even now, when it was so obvious that you were hurting, you wouldn't cry. I envied your ability to always stay so strong. I captured your lips, kissing you passionately as I soothingly rubbed your back. "It's okay, Kei. Just promise me," I grinned down at you. "You'll tell me before I die." I thought you would laugh, but to my surprise, you let out a sob. I watched as you broke. I could have shot myself for being so stupid, though that probably would have sent you over the edge. You were a sobbing mess, doing your best to hold your tears in. I held you close, whispering apologies in your ear. The dream had made you realize that I was growing up...that I would die. We had always known this, but when we're both so happy, when we finally accepted our feelings and confessed...I'm not about to let the what-if's ruin this for us. "Kei. Kei. KEI." You reluctantly looked up, tears in your eyes and on your cheeks. I cupped your face in my hands lovingly. I took a deep breath. "...get over it." You were confused at first, then it turned to anger, and finally, pure fury. You threw the blanket over us off of you, standing up, and heading back to your room. I sighed. I had figured that would be your reaction. I followed you to your room, carefully removing one of the metal bars so I could reach around and unlock the door. I pulled back in alarm, gasping when a pain shot through my arm. I looked down, and saw an imprint of your teeth (minus your fangs) there. "You...you bit me!" A snicker. I glared at the door, kicking it open. '...it wasn't locked.' I turned bright red as you almost started laughing. Almost, because you were still too pissed at me to laugh at my stupidity. I nervously fidgeted, 'Damn it! Why the hell am I nervous? It's just Kei for Kami's sake!' Nevertheless, I continued to fidget. "U-uh, K-K-Kei?"
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His chuckles tarpered off into silence. "I didn't mean it like, like that. I just meant..." He looked up at me expectantly. I stopped, suddenly regaining my confidence. "I meant that we're together now, and I'm sick of all this I'm-a-monster,-I'll-watch-you-die bull shit. If it really matters all that much to you," I paused, pulling off my shirt and angling my neck. "Then change me."
He sat there, stunned. I had never spoken to him like this before. He had heard me speak that way to other people, but I was never anything close to aggressive to him. He paused, realizing this too. It was obvious from the look in his eyes that he was realizing just how much I cared for him; however, the line in his mouth said there was no way in hell. "If it's as I think, and turning me is a 'no,' then shut your mouth and quit your bitching while we got it good." My tone was a mixture of smartass and gentle...how I pulled that off, even I don't know. Regardless, it seemed that he was finally going to just let it be, no more brooding, no more angst...at least, not about that. "Now, c'mere." I held my arms wide, and you slipped into them, wrapping your arms around my waist and clasping your hands together. You rested your head on my chest, sighing. "I love you, Kei." You looked up, an unrecognizable emotion in your eyes.
"I love you too."
I hung my red jacket on the coat rack by the door, listening to the soft music playing in the background. Sho had been listening to a lot of music lately, especially some of the older stuff. I paused, listening to the song. I dropped my keys as I recognized it. "Oh, no." It was Gackt.
'Bathed in the cold wind Imagining these feelings night after night.
...Where can I go so that the sadness of being alone will disappear? "I h a v e t o m o r r o w......" '
I stumbled into Sho's room, tripping over discarded clothes on my way in. "Sh-sho!" He grinned over at me from his bed.
"Sorry about the mess, Kei. Well, half of this is yours, buuut..." he chuckled as I stepped around piles of clothes and other things.
"We really need to clean up in here." My lover yawned, turning over on the bed, his back to me. "Meh. Later..." I glared at him, before remembering why I was there in the first place. "U-uh, hey, Sho?"
He glanced over his shoulder at me. "Yeees?"
I listened to the music, getting caught up in the memories and the meaning of the new song playing. "Where did you get this CD?" Sho shrugged.
"One of the pawn shops." I sighed, nodding. I walked over to its case, turning it over in my hands. I got to the lyric book and took it out. I flipped through it, nearly having a heart attack as I read the 'Thanks' page. It read: 'For my beloved son, Sho.' It was simple, but made it obvious enough that, if Sho thought about it, he might realize...
"Hey, Kei-chan?"
I dropped the case, immediately sweeping back down to pick it up. "Y-y-yes, Sho?" I tried to hide the nervous tone in my voice...it didn't work.
"I was just wondering..."
'Oh, god. Here it comes.'
"Would you ever desert me? If you knew I was in trouble, or needed you, I mean."
I thought I could wretch. Sho, of course, had no idea that I had done just that when he was but a defenseless child. I turned to him, smiling. "I'll never leave you again, Sho." Thinking I was referring to my disappearance we had been discussing earlier, this answer satisfied him. He beamed at me, motioning for me to join him on the bed. I happily plopped down beside him, curling up into his arms. He wrapped his around my upper ass, making me cough to hide my squeak of surprise. I have my dignity.
He glanced down at me, beaming as I put my arms around his neck, moving so I was straddling his waist. I sat back on his knees, back arching as I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his, returning his smile. He could always melt my worries away. And, fortunately enough, I have the mind numbing ability to distract (code for: 'seduce.') with my animal-like pheromones. (It was something we were 'born' with to make it easier to sate all of our 'needs.') I, however, had recently learned that if Sho was being annoying enough, and I was desperate enough, I could manipulate those useful little pheromones so that at least I would get something out of his constant, (sometimes frustratingly so) companionship.
A wave of desire made my body shake as the kiss became heated. My back arched further, pressing our torsos together. I moaned into Sho's mouth as his hand slipped between us, expertly undoing my pants. Eyes half lidded, I brought my hands to his shoulders, using them to prop myself up, again on my knees and straddling his waist. My pants slipped down ever so slightly, and he grinned as he realized that underneath, there was nothing to seperate him from his prize. I guided Sho's hands up my torso, shivering at the feather light touch. As he traced my muscles with his fingertips, he pushed my shirt up, exposing pale skin.
I would let the boy have his way with me tonight, in any fashion he desired. The only thing that I was sure of was that I couldn't wait to have him inside of me. It was true, though we both were nervous at first, we trusted each other completely. Because of this, we were able to do things, try things, that no one just messing around with a one night partner could do. I had given myself to Sho, entirely, and unlike the few times that I surrendered my body to Luka, to keep us both sane, the pleasure was equal for both of us. My mood darkened, although my participation didn't cease. I truly regretted giving myself up to Luka in such a way...I had to will my body to stop quaking at the power of my memories.
Sho seemed to sense this, and started to pull away to ask what was wrong. Eager to keep contact, I instead locked my legs around his waist, shifting us on the bed so that he was on top of me. "Sh-sho." The breathy tone of my voice seemed to always have a profound effect on him--caught somewhere between a gasp and a moan. He fumbled around in the drawer of the bedside table, eager to take me. I brought his other hand to my lips, kissing the back of it as I entwined our fingers. Sho smiled, and I flicked my tongue out, lightly tracing his knuckle with it. I could see his grin got wider, even though his back was turned to me. He moved to open the jar, but a brief squeeze to his hand made him turn around. He hovered above me, still smiling happily. Sho flashed me a toothy grin as I removed his shirt, throwing it to the ground. The necklace he always wore dangled from his graceful neck.
I choked, realizing with a start that I was looking at him, mouth only centimeters from his neck, and I was able to stifle every bit of bloodlust. He brought his hand to my face, cupping my cheek, and I could tell he knew something was different, and for the better, too. It was true that when I was out and about with Sho, I had always been able to muffle more of the vampire in me than when I was alone, but should we sit together, with no one else around, I couldn't help but be tempted, and in so many ways. Now, however...every bit of the vampire had been silenced, even if only momentarily. I beamed up at him, which made him freeze, choking on the gasp that escaped his lips. I blushed, looking away, embarassed. I couldn't remember the last time I had smiled like that, so I knew he had never seen it. "Lovely..." he whispered, making my cheeks redden further.
"Sh-shut up..." he smiled brightly, pressing a light kiss to my eager lips. He rubbed his hands up my arms, then my shoulders and neck, finally coming to rest on the back of my head. With each new area he explored, the hungrier his kisses became. I opened my mouth, allowing him to explore. I shivered in pleasure as he ran his tongue across the roof of my mouth, hands going to tangle in my hair. "Nn...nn...Sho..." He opened one eye, revealing a sparkle of mirth.
"Yeah, Kei?"
I motioned to his pants, which were still clinging to his waist. He grinned sheepishly, momentarily leaving his place above me to remove them and his--'Dear god, is that a THONG?'
Sho noticed my staring, his cheeks turning pink. "What?"
I voiced my surprise as he removed the last of his clothing, crawling above me. I impatiently spread my legs for him, wanting us to continue where we had left off. Obviously glad I dropped the subject, he leaned forward, coaxing me into one of the most sensual kisses I have ever experienced. We broke away only long enough for him to remove my pants all the way, before he captured my bottom lip, nipping and sucking at it. He ran his tongue along my canines, sending jolts of pleasure coursing through me. He prepared me quickly, and I gasped as I felt him nudge at my entrance. This sudden movement made his tongue get caught on my fangs, and the tiniest bit of blood escaped the invading muscle, landing on my own tongue. My fervor increased, and he groaned in pleasure, allowing me to dominate. I coaxed his tongue into coming out to play, the light amount of blood smearing between our tongues.
I rested my hand on his hip, pressing it lightly. He got the message, and began to sheath himself inside me. I cried out, grabbing his shoulders as he rooted himself deep inside. "K-kei..." I met his thrust, eager for more. We fell into a steady rhythm, meeting each other thrust for thrust. I moaned as he found that spot in me that sends fire coarsing throughout my body. I drug my fingers down his back, nails leaving little pink-red paths down his shoulders, back, and finally ending just above his ass, which I couldn't help giving a light squeeze to. He grinned against my neck, bucking his hips. I lost my grip, hands slipping lower. He groaned as I traced between his cheeks, pausing at his entrance. He gripped my waist tighter, thrusting even deeper. I threw my head back, eyes snapping open as I arched into him. I panted, glaring up at him playfully. I probed at his completely virgin entrance, grinning wickedly. He gasped as my finger found its way inside. I had planned for this; while his back was turned, I had grabbed the bottle of lube and poured a liberous amount on my hand. He shivered at my cool touch, and I shook as his hot member invaded me further. The farther he plowed into me, the farther my fingers travelled. The dual sensations would send him over the edge soon, I knew. I took his hand, guiding it to my cock. He got the message, wrapping his hand around it, pumping me in time with his thrusts.
"Aa. . .ah. . ." I added another finger as his thrusts became more erratic, knowing he was close to completion. I felt him bury his face in my neck as he came, moaning my name loudly as he released his seed in me. I chuckled, adding a third finger. His head snapped up at this.
"K-kei!!" I grinned, flipping our positions. Spreading his legs, I knelt betweem them. I grabbed the lubricant, coating my still hardened cock as he began to turn all manner of reds. I removed my fingers from him, making him release an unintended whimper. I grinned, placing myself at his inviting entrance. "K-kei!!" I leaned over him, my hands resting on his knees. I smirked seductively, melting away his objections. He closed his mouth, staring into my eyes. I leaned back, smirking, and aligned myself with the virginal pucker of his entrance, slowly pushing myself inside. He cried out, clawing at the sheets above him. I grit my teeth. He was too tense...his body wouldn't let me go any deeper without hurting him. "You have to relax, Sho." he whimpered, though attempted to follow my directions. "Sho, we can't do this if you don't relax." He was doing his best to calm down, I could tell. I leaned forward, initiating a sweet kiss. I tenderly touched him, my right hand roaming his body as my left ran through his hair. He soon relaxed, and I was able to fully sheath myself within him.
"K-kei..." he panted, his moans going straight to my cock. "I-is this what it feels like? F-for you?"
I caught my breath before answering. "No."
He looked confused, and slightly alarmed. "N-no?"
I grinned, nuzzling into his neck, my voice barely above a whisper. "You're bigger." The statement was in English, but he understood it nonetheless. He blushed, shifting on the pillows embarassedly.
"O-oh..." I was now finding it very hard to not just fuck him senseless, as I knew it was his first time doing it like this. "K-kei...?" I glanced down. "How do you put up with this? I mean, time after time...?"
I grinned down at him. "If you're ready, I'll show you."
He nodded carefully, and I slowly withdrew. I reentered, apparently too quickly, because tears were starting to peek out the corner of his eyes. I buried my face in his neck, kissing it lightly in apology. I thrust in again, this time more slowly, letting him feel as I slid in and out of him. The friction created against his inner wall was making him moan like a whore. I grinned, rolling my hips to fray him further. "Aa...ah!" I gradually picked up the pace; I had to find that spot in him that would make him see stars before I came. I took his member in my hands, relishing the sounds emanating from my beautiful lover beneath me. A few seconds later, I found it. His back arched off the bed, spasms racking his frame. "Gods, K-kei!" he clung to my back as I continued to hit that place in him. All unsurities flew out the window then. "H-harder!"
I granted his wish, hitting the spot dead-on with even more force. "H-harder! F-faster!!" I did so, gladly. As he opened his mouth to ask for more, I let go of my restraints. I pounded into him mercilessly, making him scream out in pleasure. We were getting so close--I took his legs, hooking them around me. He clung tightly to my body, unwilling to let the pleasure cease. I pumped him faster, taking his unguarded nipple into my mouth, continuing to thrust into him. He came, his inner walls clenching around me. I managed a few more thrusts before I followed. Nearly collapsing on top of him, I struggled to get my breathing to return to normal. "K-kei..." I started to pull out, but he stopped me. "N-not j-just yet." I looked up at him, brushing his bangs from his eyes. He closed his eyes, pulling me close. A minute or so later, I removed my flaccid cock from his exhausted body.
"Why did you want me to...?" He smiled, which soon turned into a smirk.
"I wanted to remember the feeling of having you in me...because it's never happening again."
I arched an eyebrow at this. "Oh, really?"
He grinned. "Well, it's not like I didn't enjoy it..."
I trailed my finger through the cum on his stomach, bringing it to my lips and licking it away. "I should say so."
Sho's blush returned immediately, full-force. "B-but, I-I'm the one who's supposed to top, so th-this was just a one time thing..."
Hovering above him, I looked him dead in the eye as I began to lick the cum from his stomach. "Is that so?"
He nodded, tangling his fingers in my hair. "Y-yes..." He gasped as I ran my tongue over his sac. "K-kei!"
I hooked his legs over my shoulders, my tongue caressing him as it made its way down to Sho's opening. "Mm?" My eyes slid from his to his pink entrance. I ran my tongue over it, tasting the remnants of my essence there.
"Ahn...wh-what are you...?" My tongue gently pushed inside, running up and down the walls of muscle there. Glancing up, I saw he was again getting hard. Flicking it in and out, I listened to his growing moans and impatience, savouring the lusty haze again covering us. I pulled back, removing my tongue. He half glared at me. "D-don't...stop. . ." I grinned, glancing down at the quivering bud. Evilly, I drug my tongue over his asshole, up his thigh, skipped over his cock, and up his stomach. He shook with need as I instead moved to attack his nipple, teasing it until it was just a nub. "K-kei..."
My next target was his ear. Grabbing his hands, I pinned them above his head so he couldn't relieve himself. Continuing my assault on his ear, I whispered huskily "Aa...but I'm never allowed to top again, am I...?" I pulled back, moving to get off the bed before he grabbed my hand, pulling me back on top of him.
"Where the hell are you going? Get back here and finish what you started!"
A smirk, then "Aa, but you're the one who's always supposed to top, remember?" Sho growled, tackling me onto the bed. Raising himself above me, he slowly brought himself down on my hardened cock. We moaned simultaneously, and he smirked down at me.
"S-see? I'm still on t-top..." I chuckled, thrusting up into him.
"You just can't resist me, can you?"
He rose himself up, slamming back down. "W-whatever..." I grabbed his hips, lifting him up, then turning him so he was in my lap, facing away from me. Smirking against his neck, I began to torture him again, arm wrapping around to touch him, the other moving up to pinch and rub his already abused nipples. "Mn...ah..."
I chuckled to myself. 'So much for letting him have his way with me...' The man in my lap writhed, the new sensations both confusing and exciting him. "K-kei..." I knew he'd reach completion soon, having already succumbed twice tonight. He got louder the more rapid my thrusts got, and soon he was screaming incoherent praises above me. He threw his head back, the back of his head coming to rest on my shoulder as we came simultaneously. I slowly lifted him off, setting him beside me. We fell back on the bed together, our hearts beating in time to each other's. I reluctantly got up, getting a damp towel to wipe away the evidence of our lovemaking. I grabbed a new sheet, balling up the old one and tossing it over my shoulder and into the hamper. Sho grinned, applauding my mad skillz.
Crawling across the bed, I threw the sheets on, pulling him close. Suddenly feeling very possesive, I leaned down, biting his neck, (fangs retracted, of course) He gasped, instantly awake again. I ran my tongue along it, then lightly sucked, leaving my mark. I was about to bite my tongue, letting my blood heal him, but Sho stopped me. "L-leave it. I want to have proof that I am yours." I nodded, pressing my lips to his as we fell into the welcoming arms of Morpheus.
That morning, before Sho awoke, I took the lyric book from the Gackt CD, and tore the 'Special Thanks' page out, hiding it in my room until I could dispose of it. Just after I placed it in a box under my bed, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my still-naked body, pulling me against a warm chest. "Ahn...you're able to walk still. I'm impressed." Sho squeezed me, which only served to make me laugh. Brown-blonde hair tickled my neck as he kissed from my ear to my collar bone and back. "Mn..." I melted into his touch. Last night had been amazing, to be sure, but I can't deny the fact that I love feeling Sho dominate me more. I leaned back, letting my head fall against his chest. He kissed down the column of my neck as we both sighed contentedly. Turning around in his arms, I pressed my lips to his.
"Kei..." I smiled, opening my eyes, our lips still touching slightly.
"Mm?"
Sho smiled, pressing our lips together again. "I love you."
I chuckled, resting my forehead on his chest, breath ghosting over Sho's nipple. I pulled back, brushing my hair behind my ear. Just then, as I opened my mouth to reply, the phone rang. I groaned, disappointed that our brief bit of alone time was to be stolen away from us. I headed to the door, but something stopped me. I had an odd, heavy feeling in my chest. Turning around, I was just in time to see my lovely, loving lover kneel down, hands sliding under the bed in search of something. He pulled out the lyric book, not noticing my frightened expression. I ran forward, trying to grab it, but he held it out of my reach. He moaned as I tackled him onto the bed, that sex-obsessed crybaby, and pulled me into a tight embrace. For a moment, I let his ravenous kisses consume me, our tongues sliding against one another's. I cupped his cheeks, angling so I could have better access. Straddling him, I pressed our bodies closer, wrapping my arms around his neck. Soon breaking away, I moved to ravish his neck. When I didn't hear the normal gratified moan, I glance up and found he was silently crying, staring at something behind me. "Sho...?"
I sat up on his lap, my hand lifting his chin so he was looking me in the eye. His gaze held so many emotions; pain, betrayal, sorrow, anger...I couldn't understand his sudden change from happy and horny to dark and depressed. I heard the slight rustle of paper before he shoved me off his lap and onto the bed. Tossing the paper on my chest, he left without a word. I stared after him, my eyes lingering where he had been. Eventually, I looked to the paper. The lyric book. I closed my eyes, rubbing my hands over my face in an attempt to keep the tears from falling. For once, it didn't work.
I, as cliche as it sounds, kept praying that it was just a dream, that my greatest nightmare had not just come true. Sho had obviously seen the dedication to him, and as much as we may joke about it, the guy really does have a brain in that beautiful head of his. He had obviously seen my reaction to the damn booklet, and had pieced things together. Sitting up on the bed, I let my arms support me. If I ignored the problem at hand and waited for him to cool off, I knew he wouldn't want to talk about it or listen to my reasons. Ever.
I clambered off the bed, crossing the hallway to Sho's room. Climbing onto his bed, I pulled his sobbing form into my arms, holding him close and stroking his hair. He broke from my hold a while later, begging to know the reasons and the truth. I sighed, shifting us so I was leaning against the head board, his head againt my still bare chest. He looped his arms around my waist, revelling in our closeness. I could tell he was still pissed and confused as hell, temperament still highly volatile. I asked him why he still held me so close. "You're the only one who can soothe my worries...Even if it's you that I'm mad at, you're the only one whose closeness can numb away that pain."
Feeling my eyes starting to well up with tears, I pressed kisses to the top of his head, squeezing him lightly. I pondered my next words, not wanting to send him over the edge. Unsure of what his reaction would be, I whispered "I love you..."
To my surprise, he looked up, smiling lightly through his tears. "I know."
The amount of love in those words shook me to the core, and my tears fell. Now he was the one pulling me close, comforting me and wiping away my tears. Muttering "I'm sorry. I love you." like a mantra, I buried my face in his chest.
"Kei, Kei...it's alright, I love you, Kei..." was Sho's mantra, these words slowly calming me from my near-hysteria. Still sobbing, I glared at him when he chuckled.
"What?"
He snorted. "It's just ironic. You came in here to comfort me, and now you're the one crying." I blinked. That's right...I came in here, because--Sho seemed to remember at the exact same time that I did. "Kei, was I--"
"Gackt's son?" he nodded. I decided it was best to tell him the truth. "Yes, Sho." He brought up the subject of his mother, and (not knowing what else to tell him) I said "Hyde."
"...Hyde? Like, sexy rockstar vocalist Hyde?"
I glared at him, slightly jealous he found someone other than myself appealing.
Noticing my pout, he pulled me closer. "What?"
I sighed. "Just a bit...jealous, I guess."
He grinned. "Why? 'Cuz I think someone other than you is sexy?"
I glared up at him, my hand moving to his chest. I spread my fingers out, watching them as I traced down his chest. "So what if I am?"
He cracked up, damn near guffawing at the thought. Amidst the laughter, I heard "K-ke-e-e-i! Y-y-y-you could be twi-i-i-ins! Ha ah hahaha!!" I slipped out from underneath him, walking to the door. "K-kei...?" I turned around to find him still rolling around on the bed a bit, tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. "I-I, I o-only h-have eyes f-for you, K-keich-chan..."
I sighed, sauntering back to the bed. His eyes locked on the sway of my hips, unashamedly locking on my naked form. I crawled above him on the bed, it creaking under our combined weights. His eyes roamed my body hungrily, his hands going to my sides to support me. I let him kiss me as I pushed him back on the bed, straddling him. Sho's kiss was different than before; now it was slow, tantalizing...and damn it, I couldn't get enough. I would try to quicken our pace, feel more of him and faster, and he would slow down, letting his mouth slip closed. Giving in, I slowed my pace, calming myself. Gratified, he picked up the pace, gradually giving me more and more. Eager, I had already begun preparing myself. "K-kei..."
I paused, pulling away to look at him. I continued to stretch myself, unwilling to stop the pleasure. He closed his eyes, sighing. "I...I don't want this." I immediately stopped, freezing above him.
"Wh-what?"
He reluctantly turned his gaze to me. "I don't want us to solve our problems with sex." I tried to protest, but he cut me off. "I don't want us to only have a physical relationship."
I nodded dumbly. "I understand."
"I, I just want us to be able to show we love each other in a way other than this."
I withdrew, sitting back on his hips. "I understand." I repeated.
Thinking I was disappointed -which I kind of was-, he sat up too, pulling me into a warm embrace. "Kei, I--"
I cut him off. "I said, I understand, Sho. So, what do you say we go out on a date?"
"I--what? Really?" I nodded.
"Uh-huh."
He grinned, ecstatic. "Kei-chan!" he flipped us so I was completely on the bed beneath him. "You mean it?!" I nodded dumbly again. Sho started to attack my neck, making me moan as he reawakened my member. He kissed down my chest to my belly, his speed near frantic. I moaned wantonly, hooking my legs around his waist. I couldn't help but grin as I felt that Sho was now hard as well, hips bucking against mine. I grabbed for the lube, thrusting it into his hands. He immediately slicked himself, throwing the bottle over his shoulder. "Thank you, Kei. I love you. So much."
I moaned in response, guiding him to my entrance. He chuckled, pushing his way inside. "...nnnngh...!! A-ah! Ahn!" I clutched his shoulders, my back arching off the bed. "Nn...nn...I l-love--aah!!" He started slamming into me, sending fire shooting up my spine. I lost my words, reduced to animalistic growls and moans. We were in absolute bliss, moving fluidly as if we were one. I begged for release as he sensually licked at my neck.
"Kei. I love you." Sho pleasured me faster, inching us both closer to coming.
"Nn!! I love you -ah- too!" I screamed as he hit my prostate, arching upward so I was almost completely off the bed as I came. Almost right after, he followed, collapsing on top of me.
"Ah...K-kei..." Trying to catch my breath, I wiped the sweat from my eyes with the back of my hand. I tossed my head to the side, shifting so our eyes met. Sho slowly pulled out of me, tangling our legs as he pulled me close. He closed his eyes, smiling warmly. "Mm, and you say I'm the sex fiend?" I must have looked really confused, because he started to explain. "You say I'm sex-obsessed all the time..." I stared up at him, still not getting it. "...but you start things almost as often as I do, and you've never once turned me away--"
"I haven't had a partner in almost two decades!" His eyes widened. I continued, "I plan to use this oppurtunity and take advantage of it while I..." Sho tore away from my embrace, climbing off the bed. Confused, I watched as he hurriedly threw a pair of leather pants and a tight shirt on. It wasn't until he grabbed his trenchcoat that I realized just what was going on. "Sho, I--"
He snapped as I reached for his arm. "Is that all I'm good for to you? I'm just an easy fuck?!"
"Sh-sho, I--" Again, he cut me off.
"You don't care about me. You never have, have you? You've just been taking advantage of me! You just said so yourself!" He threw the door open, storming down the hallway.
"Sho! That's not true! Sho!!"
He turned around, seizing me in a painful grip. "How do I know you're not lying? After all, you lied to me about my parents! What would stop you from lying about this?!"
I was in tears now, desperate to get him to listen. "Because I love you, Sho!" He gripped my arm so tightly, I felt as if I was about to break. "Sh-sho! Y-you're hurting me!"
His voice lowered to where it was just above a whisper. I immediately wished the screaming Sho was back--him, I could deal with. Him, I could calm down enough to at least get him to listen. But when he got like this... "Huh. It's only fair I hurt you back, isn't it? I bet you only suggested we date so you could keep me ready and willing..."
I struggled to break free, tears streaming down my face. "I swear, Sho. I swear to God, I'm not using you--"
Sho smiled bitterly. "Aren't you? When was the last time you did anything, even said you loved me, outside of when you think I'm about to leave you, or in the middle and aftermath of sex?!" I tried to think of a time, tried to prove him wrong, but I couldn't. Had I really never said it just to let him know that I care? I couldn't believe it. He took my silence as recognition of my guilt. Sighing, he released me, turning away. "I have to go."
My head instantly snapped up. "What? What do you mean?"
He shrugged on his trench coat, adjusting the collar. "Just that. I'm leaving and I don't know when or if I'll be back."
My heart stopped. Sho was my everything! What would I do without him? I had to tell him, before I lost him forever. "Where will you go?" Damn it! Not what I wanted to say! 'You've got to fix this, Kei! Stupid, stupid!'
"Toshi's, Shinji's, maybe Son's...I don't kow. Regardless, it's no longer any of your business."
Our world was all falling apart, and it was all my fault. Why do I have to be so fucking masochistic all the time?! "Sho...wait..." He stopped, halfway out the door. Maybe there was still hope? "Don't go...please...don't go..."
He turned, uncaring. "I no longer have a reason to stay."
And with that, the door clicked shut. I could have screamed; I'm not sure that I didn't. I can't remember. All I know is that when that door clicked shut, my whole world was again cloaked in darkness.
Lyrics used were from Mizerable by Gackt...love that song...I edited it to fit, though...
Only...two...reviews...-insert brooding here- I seriously considered waiting until I had more reviews to post, but I am just way too nice to you guys...
(a/n) ...I swore I was going to not write any more smut into this chapter after the third time...it almost ended up being like, six... o.O What is happening to my brain??? Sho is so freaking hormonal...but he has to be, to advance the plot. XD
