Study break with Addek! Thanks for the reviews everyone, it means a lot to me as I finish up the term under annoying academic pressure. Keeps the plot bunny plotting and usual disclaimer applies, just creativity.

Crazy-chica6: I know, I actually feel the same way. He did appreciate her dressing up and of course she's always stunning, he's just a little bit stupid sometimes.

Simbagirl: Depending on my mood, you may have to wait a while.

Goldentail: Thanks, that's very kind of you to say, that is one of the hardest things I feel about writing these is getting the characters close to how everyone else sees them so it feels realistic.

Previously:

Addison found out about Derek's promotion and dressed up to impress him. They celebrated with Mark and once again Mark called Addison on her relationship status with Derek. Addison hides how she feels from Derek.

Summary: Addison is deeply hurt by her husband's attitude

Chapter 8: Can Wounds This Deep Heal?

Addison groaned hearing the shower turn on, Derek was up early. She barely fell back to sleep before the door opened and her husband began prowling around the room getting ready.

"Derek," she mumbled protesting.

"Sorry baby," he sounded distracted.

"What's wrong," she pulled her head out of the soft pillow to stare at him.

"I have to talk to the chief about my duties and the next board meeting and management details," he sounded cheerful despite looking stressed.

"Derek, I mean you aren't in the job yet, he offered it to you," she pointed out and he glanced at her meeting her eyes.

"Exactly, the job is now clearly mine, I need to start getting up to speed," he snapped his watch on with a definitive sound.

"But Derek, I mean we haven't really talked about the consequences of this and you even taking the job, what that'll mean," she felt bad dampening his excitement, but they hadn't discussed it.

"Addie, I thought you were in favor of this," he looked somewhat perturbed.

"Well obviously I'm happy for you and proud of you," she asserted, "but taking the job is another step beyond that, it has consequences for us."

Looking at him she suddenly started to feel queasy.

"Addison, I took the job," he had stopped getting ready for work by this point and was watching her carefully.

Addison couldn't even think, she couldn't process and her brain went into overdrive. He hadn't said he'd officially accepted last night, or had she missed it? Why hadn't he told her, why hadn't he asked her?

"Addison," her full name, she snapped to the present.

"Addison, this is my dream, to be the chief of surgery at this hospital, there is no greater honor, no greater position or vindication of my life. I was born to have this job, I can do it, I'm good at what I do and I need challenges Addie, you know that, this is what's next. This is right for me I can feel it, I thought as my wife you'd understand that more than anymore and support me in it," confusion was evident in the last part.

She couldn't say anything; she didn't know how to start, where to argue first, if she should cry, scream, try to reason with him.

Meanwhile he was still talking "Addison, I accepted this offer because it's so perfect, it's the next great thing in my career," he smiled stepping closer to her, "I know it's a big deal, but it's my chance to establish myself on another level."

She wondered why she'd been putting up with his self-centered crap for so long, so he could reach the top and ignore her completely.

"Married to the chief, now that means you can try any risky procedure and do any amazing medical miracles you want without consequence," he was teasing her and she hated him for it.

"I have to go, I'll see you tonight" and he kissed her forehead dashing out leaving her almost gasping for breath and dismayed at the outcomes of the morning already.

Addison had always been prone to panic attacks, but she hadn't had one in a while. Her stomach twisted and her throat closed up as she raced for the bathroom. Derek was the one who would always sit with her until she calmed down, but he was gone again and she didn't want to be alone, nor did she want to call 911. She vomited twice violently into the toilet bowl and then crumpled on the floor in a ball. She felt hysterical, her husband had just accepted a life changing position without consulting her, worse even he did it assuming she would support it because of his achievement and uncaring of the impact it would have on them. What happened to their teamwork, to their unity, and to their partnership? Derek wasn't always this person, but when he was, god he made Addison feel invisible. As a doctor with her own specialty that she was good at and well known for, and as a confident woman with striking good looks, Addison resented that the man she loved more than life was the only one with the ability to make her feel like a lesser person.

Addison needed someone in that moment to help her process and she wobbled out to the bedroom picking up her cell phone with shaky hands and hit speed dial four.

"Addison," Mark's cool voice came over the line, they hadn't said good bye or spoken the night before at the end of dinner, she'd avoided eye contact with him entirely after dancing with him, and then Derek.
"Mark I need, it's, I'm having a, can you please," her voice was thick with tears and she was almost choking for air.

"God Addison, what happened, are you okay, where are you?" His heart almost stopped hearing her broken and fragmented words, she sounded like she was almost hysterical.
"Home, Derek he went to work, I can't breathe," and he knew. Mark knew she had panic attacks; he'd witnessed the beginning of one once, and knew they were rare, but if she was alone right now going through this it would just get worse, not to mention that something clearly something set her off and that would need to be sorted out at the same time.

"I'm on my way," and he was out the door intent on getting to her as soon as possible.

Addison felt another urge to vomit and staggered back to the bathroom.

Mark arrived in record time and used his key to get through the door flying up the stairs into her bedroom, he panicked not seeing her and then heard sobs from the bathroom; He found her curled up on the floor in the bathroom hyperventilating.

"Oh sweetie," and he was next to her holding her to him as tightly as he could. Mark quickly placed her in front of him resting her upper body against his chest and pressed his hand over her racing heart.

"Addie, honey you have to breathe with me," he prayed she would respond.

She felt his large chest moving in and out slowly and focused desperately on the warmth and strength and steady nature of his breathing.

Eventually she felt her own breathing slow and she let out a shaky breath as the tears welled up. Mark helped her up but she was incredibly weak and stumbled, then suddenly he unexpectedly picked her tired frame up in his arms bringing her to the bed; he placed her in it, pulled the covers up and spooned himself behind her on top of the covers.

"Sweetie what happened, did Derek do something?" he was afraid to ask.

She shook her head unwilling to paint Derek out to be the bastard he would seem in Mark's eyes if she told him.

"You can tell me you know, you need to talk to someone," Mark whispered and she hesitated.
"Mark I'll tell you on one condition," she waited.

"Okay," he sounded suspicious.

"You can't talk to Derek about this," and she was silent.

"Fine," Mark acquiesced because he needed to know what happened

"Mark, promise," she urged him and he nodded against her.

"I promise Addison," he was firm and gentle as he reassured her.

"He," she choked on a sob, "he accepted the job Mark, without talking to me."

"What do you mean," he needed clarification.

"He's already accepted it, he never asked me about it, and even thinks I should support him because it's right for him," her voice trailed off.

"Did he say that," Mark wanted to punch his best friend for being so arrogant.
"Mark," her tone was tired.
"Sorry," he wasn't really, but he had to say it to pacify her "did he really say that?"
"Yes," she whispered it.

"Addison, you need to do something here, this needs to change," he finally said.

"I know, I can't think about it right now, I don't know where to begin," and she was already exhausted.

"Shush, just relax," he murmured and waited until her body went slack with the onset of sleep.

He then stood and carefully pressed his lips to her temple.

"Mark," she mumbled and he hesitated.
"Thank you for coming, I wasn't sure if," and he cut her off rapidly.
"I'll always come for you Addison, don't ever think otherwise" and he left her to slumber away the trauma of the past hours.

He drove straight to the hospital and sat in his car, god he wanted to yell at Derek. Addison was clearly amazing and Mark hated to see his two friends, his favorite perfect couple at such odds. He knew Derek wasn't a vain man by nature, but he also was aware that career driven Derek was in control now. Addison loved this Derek too, but she had never before been at the brunt of his obsession. Mark knew Addison did want children, knew that she wanted to be a wife to her husband that she needed Derek. He clenched his fists around the steering wheel and groaned…he wanted to shake his best friend. It wasn't every day that someone like Addison came around. She was special, beautiful, funny, talented, intelligent, sharp, everything. She was Derek's and he knew that Addison would be broken hearted if she left him, but he also knew a war was raging inside her. She had no idea what to do and no wife should have to make a choice between her well-being and her marriage.

He glared at hospital wishing Derek could feel his wrath ready to explode and he reached for the door handle before he dropped his head and let out a defeated sigh.

He'd promised Addison he wouldn't talk to Derek and she had already had enough disappointment with people not listening to her. With that in mind he swallowed his anger and determination and got out to walk to the nearest bar for a drink, a very necessary distraction.

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