a/n: Oh my God, it's kind of almost a drabble this time. xD Experimentin' with styles again. And ahlfkahflaj;l thank youuu to everyone who does the reviewing/faving/alerting/enjoying. :D Seriously. Light of my life, you guys, light o' my life. Hope you like this one too! (And there's a Dane Cook reference to be found, because he amuses me x).)


I love you, Jade.

Well. It was all well and good when he said it after she told him to, but stating it out in the open like that? No. That wasn't cool. Scowling, Jade clicked 'leave a comment' and typed, Sap. Soon enough, it appeared beneath Beck's offending status update. Satisfied that the issue had been taken care of, she returned to her homework.

A ping interrupted her not five minutes later. Another comment had been left under hers. To the right of Beck's face she read, You know you like it.

'Leave a comment.' You sound like a rapist.

This time she was only able to devote three minutes to the symbolism in Oedipus Rex before her laptop pinged again.

I see you don't deny my previous statement. :)

She fired off a reply without thinking. I told you I hate those stupid faces. And, oh yeah, I hate you too, while I'm at it.

Harsh, but how else was she supposed to get her point across? The guy had to learn.

Ping.

:) :) :) :) :) I love you, while I'm at it.

Jade slammed at the keys. Sometimes I don't know why I keep you around.

Now then. Act 2, Scene I—

Ping.

Because you adore my existence.

Ugh. She was going to break her keyboard soon.

Um. No. I tolerate your presence.

Homework time. Jade cracked her knuckles. Act 2, Scene—

Ping.

Beck's face seemed to morph from smiling to smirking at she read. You tolerate it an awful lot for supposedly hating me, dear.

Godammit.

SlamslamSLAM. Don't call me 'dear.'

Did he ever comprehend what she said? Just— ugh. The blank document stared up at her from the screen. Okay. Act 2, Sce—

Ping.

Bastard.

I notice you only say that when we're in public spaces. ;)

Deciding that "I notice you're a bitch" would be toeing the line of appropriateness, Jade slammed out the second-best reply: Go trip down a well. Darling.

Seriously. Homework. Oedipus Rex, symbolism, she had this. Act 2, Sc—

Ping.

I'd pull you down with me, sweetheart.

Well, now he was just being freaking difficult.

I hope you know that you make me want to punch infants.

Jade refreshed the page, waiting until she was sure her comment had appeared. Now to close out of The Slap, because seriously, she could fight with Beck any time, she needed to do her—

Ping.

Crap. Hating herself a little, she gave in to temptation and refreshed the page again.

I hope you know I love you, dear.

Jade rolled her eyes. Then, after a slight pause, she began to not-so-slammily respond. He had better be thankful for this one. She clicked 'comment' and her face promptly popped up on the bottom of the screen.

I love you too.

By the time two more minutes were up, she had systematically deleted each of her comments on his status. No need for anyone besides Beck to ever see that; now they'd just think he was having a freakish conversation with himself.

Right. Boyfriend, happy. Check. Onto Act 2, S—

Ping.

Jade frowned. She pulled up the page, half-afraid she had screwed up and her nasty declaration of love was still there, and someone else had commented on it (because then she'd have to kill them tomorrow, and really, it was too early in the week for bloodshed). But it was still just Beck's face all the way down to his newest comment.

Knew you'd do that. Screencapped your last comment. New background on my phone.

Her jaw dropped. What a—

Screw appropriate.

Jade's face appeared on the page again beside her latest addition to the conversation: Bitch.

Barely ten seconds passed before her laptop pinged again.

Happy anniversary to you too. :)