2nd Semester

My mom's teaching: "It's okay to be slow, it's ok to make mistakes, and the important thing is to try your best."
I wanted to say, I'm always serious! My behavior may be...but when it comes to inside... I felt a little sting.
After the opening ceremony, my mom and my teacher had a conference.

1. Although the treatment during the hospitalization helped me a little, recovery is difficult, since it is a complicated illness.
2. My mom asked for consideration for I might trouble people around me when I walk from one class to the next, and that problems may rise, but to let me do as much as I can.

My mom's idea:
1. To take the textbook apart and only bring the necessary pages. Take only one notebook and put tabs, to separate the subjects.
2. Change my school bag to a backpack.
3. To take the taxi to school, because the rush hours in the morning is dangerous. For going home, I have to choose to either take the bus or the taxi, depending on my condition.
"Don't do anything rash. I already talked to the taxi company, so you don't have to pay any money," said my mom.
Gosh, how much of a money eater bug am I going to be...I cause so much trouble, I'm sorry.


The evil 13th

I rode the bus from the gate of the school. I had to switch onto another bus so I got off at Asahibashi, crossed the street, and walked to the next bus stop. The light turned green. It's sprinkling. An elementary school boy shared his umbrella with me. I tried to walk fast trying to keep up with his pace. All of a sudden, I fell flat forward. Blood flowed from my mouth and stained the wet asphalt in red. There was so much blood gushing out, that I became worried that I might die, and started crying. The lady from the bakery in the corner of the street rushed out and helped me get up. She let me inside and wiped my mouth with a towel. She took me inside her car and drove me to a nearby hospital. She saw my student notebook, so she called the school for me and my teacher came. After the treatment, my teacher took me home. Lady from the bakery, teacher, I thank you.

Aya's lip was swollen and her 3 front teeth were broken and gone. When I touch it with my handkerchief, it still stains in red. I'm a "girl." My 3 big front teeth are gone, and now I look ugly.
My illness is worse than cancer!
It stole the beauty of my youth.
If I didn't have this weird illness, I could have had a love life...I just want someone to rely on.
I just can't take this anymore!

Kaoru no Kimi ([To my brother...] Ikeda Riyoko) said "I love you!" and left the person he loved. Do I not have the freedom to love or be loved by someone?
In my dream, I can walk, run, and move freely... In reality, I can't do any of that.
When I read the part where Nanako starts to run, it makes me think how much I wish I can do that. Is this servile?

I slept whole day thinking about when I fell. K-ko-san called me asking "Are you okay?" It made me happy. I probably have to be absent for a while.

I woke up at 7:30. My sister Ako-chan is going to Nagoya. She looked so cute that I kind of sulked.
It's good to wake up early. I got to eat the last cream puff. It was so good with the cream spreading through the inside of my mouth. It's hard to eat without my front teeth. I had to hold my mouth close to keep it from coming out.
I have to start going to the dentist from tomorrow. I want to hurry and be the old Aya again. I put the mirror away, which used to be on my desk.

I was reading a knitting book with my mom. This white dress that my mom used to knit for me when I was little was on there. "Mom, did you read this and make it?"
"Yupp, remember how you wore this on New Years with a pretty hair band and took a picture in front of the front door?"
If I was healthy, we would be talking happily saying "Oh yah~ back then..." but it would get upsetting so we ended the conversation there.


About my future

My mom and I talked about my future.
According to my mom, "Unlike people who cannot see or are handicapped, the things you were able to do before don't leave your mind. You think hard about why you can't do it anymore, and your emotions come out. So it always starts with the struggle with your mind. Even if others may view it merely as a machine-like radio exercise, it's actually a struggle with your mind, its training. Aya, I think that as long as you live every day to its fullest, you'll have a future. Aya, you cry a lot, and when I see you cry, I feel so sorry. But looking at reality, you have to understand where you are right now and make your life full, or else you'll never live with your feet on the ground. Mom and your siblings will help you with things you absolutely cannot do. But when we talk about our opinions, or argue we're straight forward aren't we? That's because we think of you as a real live normal person and a sister. So take it as words full of love that will help you grow stronger mentally. This is a training as well, so that you will be able to go on when someone tells you something that stabs you in the heart. You learn love, and love what you know...basically you're surrounded by love and knowledge as the name of the place where you were born, Aichi-ken."
As I listened and took in the fact of my illness, I thought I should start thinking about my future.
"I want to be a librarian. To do that, I want to go to college. Then I can get a degree as a social worker..."
"It'll be hard to go out. You should think about something you can do at home, for example, translating."
"I want to write a novel, but my life in society is pretty poor so I guess that won't work."
"You can decide that later, but for now do what you can do right now, and put the effort! Yes the effort."
"Okay, I guess the only thing I can rely on is my scholastic ability."


Translator's Side note:

-x0x- The place where Aya was born, Aichi-ken is made up of two kanji characters, ai(love) and shiru(to know). So that's what her mom was referring to.

-x0x- I think the part with "Kaoru no Kimi ([To my brother...] Ikeda Riyoko)" was a little confusing huh? Well, Kaoru no Kimi is a character from a book called "To my brother..." by Ikeda Riyoko. Nanako is also a character from the book as well. Hope this made it a little easier to understand?

REVIEW PLEASE!