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Chapter 8
Edward P.O.V
Bella looked broken. So alone, so completely terrified. Yet, I was in awe of how strong she was, how well she was coping so far. I couldn't be sure, and I hoped and prayed to God I wouldn't find out any time soon, but had I been put in Bella's shoes, I doubt I would be coping as admirably as she was right now. The initial shock of seeing her Dad's coffin, well anyone would have reacted the same, but she just seemed to pull herself together. She got through the service and burial without any major break downs, which to be honest, I think we were all expecting. Not that I could ever have blamed her. But she didn't. Instead she seemed to keep herself together, and got through in dignity and control.
She had been crowded with people all day. Every time I turned around, she had someone new telling her how wonderful her Dad was. Like she would need telling. She thanked people, forcing a smile every so often, though a blind man could see how fake it was, though the people she was talking to seemed to appreciate the effort non the less.
"So Eddie, how about me and you sneak off somewhere". A hand ran up my upper arm, diverting my attention from Bella , who was disappearing out of the room.
I knew whose the nasally voice belonged to, and I fought the growing urge to groan in irritation. Yes I had made out with the girl, yes we still made out every so often when the need mainly struck myself. But did she really think I would stoop so low as to make out just after burying my new family members Father.
"Number one Jess, the name is Edward, you get that E-D-W-A-R-D, not Eddie, or Eddie-kins or any other ridiculous pet name you think up and number two, we're at a wake for God's sake, have a bit of respect". I sighed, and walked away.
I could no longer see Bella in the room. Not that I was watching her or anything. But since this morning, I had been watching for any signs that she was becoming overwhelmed. I was doing what any brother would do 'or boyfriend' my mind screamed at me. But I wasn't her boyfriend, and I wasn't going to be her boyfriend. Bella to me, was just another Sister. Well right now, just a friend since I really didn't know enough about her to call her my Sister, but still.
I sidled up to where Jasper and Emmett stood in the corner, trying their hardest to stay away from the crowds. I knew my Brothers well enough to know they had, had enough of the people asking them constant questions. Most people were fake, making conversations now, wanting to know juicy gossip about Bella and why she was suddenly living with us. But tomorrow, they'd simply go back to ignoring us.
"Where'd Bella go"? I asked, reaching and taking a gulp of Emmett's Dr. Pepper.
Both my Brothers brows raised in suspicion. I knew exactly how their minds worked, and both were wondering exactly why I wanted to know, or why I was so interested. It was also something I too was wondering. I had been keeping tabs on Bella all day, but had no idea why. Sure I felt a slight pull toward her, but I felt sorry for her, and wanted to make sure she was ok. That was it.
"I'm surprised you noticed her leaving, what with Jessica's mitts all over you". Jasper practically hissed.
It was no secret of Jaspers dislike for Jessica. He wasn't the only one, Alice truly hated her. Emmett and Rosalie were pretty indifferent about her. But if forced to chose, I knew they would side with Jasper and Alice. On more than one occasion Jasper, Emmett or even myself had, had to separate Jessica and Alice. To this day, I could never work out why they hated her so much. Sure she was clingy, and said some stupid shit, mostly without thinking, and she was the typical popular cheerleader who teased the non popular crowd. On second thoughts, I seriously had no idea what I saw in her.
"Don't start now Jazz, it's been a long day". I sighed, pinching my nose in frustration.
"Edward, Jazz is right, the girl just blatantly hit on you at a wake. That's just sick". Emmett muttered.
The worst thing was I knew they were right. I shook my head and walked away, not wanting to listen to their lectures about how I could do so much better, If only I stopped fucking around. A different girl here, a different girl there, I knew I was the classic man-whore as my twin often referred to me, when ever she was on her lecture Edward trip. But I just couldn't see myself settling down as my siblings had done. I had always felt as though there was something missing in my life, and for the short time I was with these random girls, I forgot I was the black sheep of the family.
None of my family knew I felt like this, and they certainly didn't make me feel like an outcast on purpose, but there was something about being the odd one out of the 7 of us that ate me up inside. I was hoping now that Bella was here, that things might change a little. Maybe that was why I felt this connection with her. We were both outcasts.
Scanning the room, I still couldn't find Bella, so I wandered upstairs to find her, where she had probably gone to breakdown. I had been waiting all day for the final straw for her, and I didn't want her to be on her own. As I climbed the stairs, I began hearing her weeping. A lead weight dropped into my stomach upon the noise. It was heartbreaking really. I followed the noise to the bathroom, where I found the last person I expected, hugging Bella tightly.
Rosalie had gotten to her first, and was holding Bella tightly, as she whimpered she wanted her Dad. I stood silently for a few moments, watching the scene before me. Never had I once seen someone so broken. The only person in the world Bella wanted and needed was her Dad, and he wasn't here for her. No matter how much any of us tried, we could never fill the void for her.
"Edward, have you seen Bella"? Alice's voice practically sang as she got to the top of the stairs.
Rosalie's head popped up on hearing Alice's voice, and she caught me standing there watching. I forced a tight smile, before slowly backing away to give them a little privacy. I walked toward Alice who had a questioning look on her face. I nodded my head in the direction of the bathroom, trying to subtly let her know that was where Bella was. Alice stepped forward as if to head in there, but I grasped her elbow and lead her back down the stairs.
"Rosalie's with her now. I don't think she wants crowding at the minute". I spoke quietly, not wanting everyone to hear.
"What do you mean 'she doesn't want crowding', what's wrong"? Alice asked.
You could tell how attached to Bella, Alice already was. Out of all the family, she had probably spent the most time with her. Worry had now etched it's way into my Sister's features. She wanted to so badly to dash up the stairs and be with both Bella and Rosalie, but at the same time, we both knew this was a breakthrough for Rose.
Rose wasn't as heartless or cold as everyone made her out to be. She may not have spent much time with Bella before now, but that wasn't because she didn't care. Rose wanted to both give her time to settle, and she needed to trust Bella. Out of us all, Rose and Jazz had been hurt the most. I mean who wouldn't fear to trust after everything they had been through. But for Rose to be openly sat hugging Bella tightly, to me only meant that Rose, now not only trusted Bella, but saw her as a member of the family.
"Bella's just, a little upset right now. I saw her leaving the room earlier, she obviously didn't want to breakdown in front of everyone. Rose is with her. It's probably best if we just leave her with Rose". Alice nodded before glancing up the stairs one last time, before heading back into the living room.
People were slowly but surely leaving. All thanking my parents as they left. I suspected more than half only came to the wake so they could see the 'great Cullen mansion'. Bella and Rosalie hadn't returned, but after Alice had explained where they were to Carlisle and Esme, they had told us to leave them be. Bella had clearly had enough of being questioned and hugged by complete strangers.
After the last guest had left, we all quickly tidied up, replacing the furniture into it's rightful place. Alice announced that we were going to have a movie marathon, and with Carlisle and Esme's permission, she ordered a few pizzas. I escaped upstairs to my room to change out of my shirt and tie into comfy sweats. As I passed the bathroom, I glanced in, and found Bella and Rose had left.
"Edward"! Alice yelled along the hallway. "Tell Rose and Bella, to change into their pj's and be in the living room in 10 minutes".
Alice, little miss organisation freak. I shook my head, in amusement as I walked toward mine and Bella's rooms. Bella's door was open slightly, and I could hear Rose's voice, but couldn't quite make out what she was saying. I knocked gently, before popping my head around, finding both girls sat on Bella's bed facing each other. Bella's face was tear stained, and she looked drained of energy. I noticed Rose's eyes were slightly blood shot, and surmised she had, had a cry with Bella at some point.
"Hey girls. Alice wants a movie marathon. She's ordered pizzas, and said to tell you to get into your pj's, and be in the living room in 10 minutes".
I left them to it, hearing Rose tell Bella, that when Alice said 10 minutes, she meant 10 minutes. Quickly I changed, knowing how true Rose's word were. I made it to the living room before Alice, and found Emmett currently looking through all the DVD's, clearly trying to pick something to watch before Alice came down and picked for us.
"I'm thinking all 3 Fast and Furious films ready for going and seeing the 4th next week". Emmett declared when he heard me sit heavily on the couch.
"Em no". I shook my head.
"What, why"? He asked.
"Because there are a few crash scenes in them". I told him. "Bella". I added when I saw him look at me confused and mouth open to ask why. "So nothing with car chases or crashes in". I warned.
"And no deaths". Jasper added as he sat in the chair.
Emmett nodded resigned. He might have been a big oaf sometimes, but there was noway he would purposely hurt someone's feelings. He let out a sigh and sat in the other chair to wait for the girls.
"Might as well let the girls have a chick flick night then". He added.
He wasn't pleased about it, but he knew it was the best option, and he was probably the last person who wanted to upset Bella. Both me and Jasper agreed with him, before I got up to make the popcorn and Emmett went to answer the door to the pizza delivery guy.
When I returned, everyone was already sat, Alice had chosen to watch Dirty Dancing. I let out an inner groan, before sitting myself in the sofa next to Bella. Looking around the room, Rose and Emmett were sat cuddled together on the love seat, obviously having no intention of focusing on the film. Alice was sat on Jazz' knee in the chair next to the window, leaving me and Bella to share the sofa.
I offered her the popcorn with a smile, passing her a can of soda. She looked up at me through her long gorgeous eyelashes, and forced a smile, taking the can and a handful of popcorn. Her cheeks were now free of her tear stains, and she had a simple baggy t-shirt and shorts on. She looked comfy, and perfect all at the same time.
During the beginning credits, I noticed her fidgeting slightly with her leg. Realising she had no-where to really stretch out and elevate her leg, I reached forward and lifted both her legs into my lap allowing her the space to stretch out. Resting my hand across her one bare leg, I couldn't believe how smooth and soft it was. It made me wonder how often she moisturised, because damn, her leg was silky smooth.
"You need to keep your leg elevated". I whispered to her, once I had seen the shock on her face.
She nodded once, and began chewing on her bottom lip. She looked unbelievably sexy when she did that. I gazed into her eyes, seeing the chocolatey brown pools stare back at me. I felt as though I was swimming in them. She was the first to break our gaze, turning her attention to the film. Realizing what I had been doing, I forced myself to look away, staring at the screen, though I can honestly say I paid little to no attention on it.
Had I really just described Bella as sexy? Yeah, of course I thought she was good looking, who wouldn't. But just because I thought she was gorgeous didn't mean anything. Of course right now I thought of her a little differently than I thought of Alice or Rosalie, but they were my Sisters, Bella was just, well not quite a friend yet, but not a Sister yet either. She was just... Bella.
I must have spent the whole movie trying to figure out exactly what Bella was to me, and why it bothered me so much that I thought she was good looking. All it did was make me even more frustrated when I came up with no answer. Once Dirty Dancing was over, Emmett dove up, practically throwing Rose off his lap, before declaring he couldn't sit through another chick flick, and decided quickly to watch 'I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry'.
I managed to focus a little better on this, but still, for the most part, it was over before I even realized. I glanced at my watch, seeing that it was past midnight. Alice had gotten up, and was turning the TV and DVD player off, when she turned and looked at Bella and me. She smiled sympathetically, tilting her head to the side slightly. Confused, I turned to look at Bella, who was fast asleep.
"Should we wake her"? Rosalie asked, as everyone crowded around us.
"No, leave her". I replied, not wanting anyone to disturb the sleeping angel beside me. "I'll just carry her up to bed. She's had a long day". I told them, passing the now empty popcorn bowl to Emmett to put on the coffee table.
Slowly so as not to disturb her, I lifted her more fully into my lap, before standing. She murmured a little, before tucking her head into my shoulder. She barely weighed anything at all, I'd go as far as guessing she was less than Alice's tiny form. I bid my siblings good night, before climbing the stairs and heading toward her room.
It didn't take long to get her on her bed, and under the sheets. She hadn't stirred once throughout me carrying her. She really must be exhausted. It had been a long day though. She looked even more perfect now laid in bed, her hair sweeping across her pillow, her small hands grasping the corner of her sheet, almost as though it was her one security. I silently began creeping out of her room, not wanting her to suddenly wake and find me hovering over her. That would have probably petrified her.
"Wait". She suddenly said. I spun to face her, thinking she had woken. "But the train... it's coming for them". She mumbled sleepily.
Ok, so Bella was a sleep talker. I smiled from my new found knowledge. It made her seem all the more angelic. So innocent and perfect.
"The Flintstones, they need to get on the train. Please don't leave without them". She mumbled again.
I suppressed a chuckle. She was dreaming about the Flintstones. I would definitely be asking her about this at some point. I stood in the doorway, waiting to see if she would say anything else, but she seemed to have settled back into a deep slumber, because she said nothing further.
All I wanted was to stay with her, wait to see if she would say anything else later on, but I forced myself to leave, closing her door shut behind me. I went into my own room, climbing straight in bed, and lay there, straining to see if I could hear anything through the walls. Of course I couldn't, she wasn't talking any more, but I still lay silently in wait.
At some point I must have dropped off to sleep, waking suddenly when I heard a muffled screaming. Darting out of bed, I dashed into the hall. There was no sign of life in the hall, I stood for a second trying to figure out where the screaming was coming from. It was coming from Bella's room. I dashed forward, flying into the room, closing the door quickly behind me.
Bella was now sat up in bed, her screams had become a strangled sob, her hands clutching the bed sheet up to her chest. Even in the dim light of the room, she had no colour what so ever in her cheeks. I ran toward her, sitting in front of her, placing a hand gently on her cheek, trying to get her to focus on me.
"Shh Bella, shh, it was a dream, it was just a dream". I told her soothingly.
I pulled her into my chest, hugging her tightly, whispering softly to her. As she slowly calmed down, I hummed a tune I didn't recognise, but still it seemed to work at calming her. I didn't ask her what it was that she had been dreaming about, for now I just wanted her to calm enough to fall asleep.
I manoeuvred myself to sit beside her, but never once let go of her, as she collapsed in a tired pile against my chest, her hands now clutching my t-shirt. I continued humming until I was sure she had fallen back asleep, and then I too fell into a light slumber.
Ok, so I know this chapter hasn't been the best, but I really struggled with this one. I'm quite impatient, and I know where I want this story to go, but the impatient part of me wants to just get there already lol. I'm fighting hard not to rush it, but it's getting frustrating. Anyway I hope you managed to enjoy at least parts of it. Please please leave me a review, it does make my day. Thank you :)
