***Sorry for the delay, I snuck an extra chapter of A Reason to Exist in before getting this one out. Thanks for all of the response to this story.
***Quick Warning… Our Darkward gets a bit controlling in this chapter.
***Thanks Jasper's Darlin Kathy and TwiCarol for your skillz! I sent them both this chapter this morning when my kids got on the bus, and they both managed to get it back to be this afternoon, and Carol is 7 hours ahead of me! Amazing!
EPOV
It didn't take me long to get in that shallow idiot, Jessica's mind to see what Bella was up to on Friday night. Dinner and a movie; compliments of the love struck Jasper Hale. He got over my sister real quick, didn't he?
I didn't know what angered me more; the fact that he slipped into her room and gave her money, or that Bella not only accepted his money, but went out when I specifically told her to stay home. I'd be dealing with her indiscretion very shortly.
I picked her up and brought her back to my bedroom. She was far too eager to accompany me, because she was extremely aroused. I should have known that sex would be her weak spot. She had been trying to get me into her panties for months. I was glad I finally gave in, and it was a great way to get her to do what I wanted. She couldn't help that she couldn't resist me. Vampires were naturally attractive, especially to humans. That was how we lured our prey; we dazzled and charmed them, just before we closed in for the kill. I missed that part of my nature, and I knew if I continued to keep company with my most recent companion, it wouldn't be long before I was right back into that old lifestyle. It was no longer enough to lick the remnants from her lips, or steal a taste from her tongue. It was getting harder and harder to resist human blood. The only thing that was keeping me from completely giving in to my natural food source was Bella, but now that she had lied to me, all bets were off.
I led her to the couch and sat, pulling her into my lap. She cuddled against my chest, as I played with her long, fresh-scented locks. It amazed me how desensitized I had come to her blood. Ever since we started sleeping together, her blood no longer called to me.
We sat like this for several minutes. She was so relaxed in my arms, and I liked having her here with me like this. It was getting harder and harder to resist my darker side, when we shared moments like this. I loved her, I knew I did, but I didn't want this life. I was restless and on edge. I wanted Bella, truly I did, but I also wanted that other life, the one I could have with her. I didn't have to control my urges when we were together. I could fuck her any way I wanted to and she would never break. She appreciated my dominant side and I didn't feel guilty when I unleashed the beast within me, when we were together. What kind of life could I expect with Bella? A mediocre one, at best. Yes, I would have love, but would that be enough? I no longer thought so, especially after experiencing the life I had been experiencing these past few evenings. The irony was, if it weren't for Bella, I never would have found this side of myself.
Of course, I could turn Bella and we could have the life that I really wanted, but did I have time to nurture a new born? I didn't think so, not after it had taken me this long to find out who I really was and what I wanted out of this existence. Eventually I would, but for now those plans would have to wait until I had my fun. In the meantime, my little, disobedient human had some explaining to do.
"So love," I said, in my most soothing voice. "Why don't you tell me all about your weekend?" I was in a generous mood, so I would give her one more chance to come clean.
"It was boring," she said. "And, I really missed you."
"That's sweet," I said, as I kissed the top of her head, and pulled her closer to me. "But, I want to know everything you did, starting with Friday."
"There isn't much to tell," she said, as she shifted in my lap. I felt her heart rate begin to increase.
Why are you lying to me?
"I studied most of the weekend. It rained off and on, and I did laundry."
"That is boring," I said. "Any good movies?"
"What?" she asked, and I heard the panic in her voice.
"On TV," I said, as I tightened my grip around her tiny, fragile body. "Did you find anything interesting to watch?"
No," she said. "So, can we do something this weekend?"
"I'm going hunting," I said.
"Again?"
"Don't you eat when you are supposed to?" I asked.
"Yes," she said. "But, why can't you stay local?"
"Because I don't want to," I said. "And, it's really none of your business."
"Edward?" she huffed. "Why would you say that?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," I countered. "Did I hurt your feelings?"
"Yes," she said. "I don't want you to go away again this weekend."
"And, do you do everything that I ask?"
"I don't understand," she said, as she tried to wiggle out of my hold. She was anxious and uncomfortable.
"Sit still," I said. "You can get up when I tell you to."
"What's wrong with you?" She clearly didn't like the change in my demeanor.
"Me?" I laughed. "I'm perfectly fine, but I'm afraid it's you who's going to have the problem."
"What are you talking about?" she asked, as she swallowed hard. I didn't need Jasper's gift to know that she was very afraid.
"Why don't you just tell me the truth and save us all of this aggravation? I like playing games, love," I said, as I stroked her cheek, "But, I think I can find more creative ways for us to play."
"Edward," she said. "Your eyes are really black, and I don't like how you're acting. Can I please get up?"
"No," I smiled.
"I don't know what you want," she said.
"Bella," I said. "I may not be able to read your mind, but I can read everyone else's."
"I know," she whispered, as she looked down. She finally got it.
"Look at me," I said, but she didn't listen. Now she was pissing me off. I grabbed her chin and forced her to look into my eyes. I gritted my teeth and said, "You have one chance to redeem yourself. I think you know what I want to hear."
"I, I…" she stuttered.
"You what?" I asked, as I tightened my grip on her chin.
"I went to the movies with Jessica and Angela on Friday night," she said, as she continued to stare into my eyes.
"And, how did you manage that?" I asked.
"They asked me and I said yes," she said.
"You didn't have any gas in your truck," I reminded her. "And, I asked you to stay home. Did I not?"
"I didn't think you were serious," she said.
"Well," I smiled, as I let go of her face. "If that were really the case, then why didn't you just tell me the truth last night? What is it that you're hiding?"
"I'm not hiding anything," she said, as she jumped up from my lap.
"Bella," I shook my head as I got up and walked toward her. "I didn't tell you to get up."
"Edward," she said, in a shaky voice. "I think I should go home now. Carlisle can take me." She headed for the door, and I did let her open it and step into the hall.
"Not Jasper?" I said, as I pulled her back into the room and slammed the door shut. "You're not going anywhere." I pulled her to the bed and firmly placed her on it. I paced the room, waiting for her to tell me everything, but she didn't move. She chewed on her bottom lip nervously, as she cracked her knuckles.
"If you draw blood from that lip, it will probably be a problem," I smiled. "A house full of thirsty vampires and all."
She stopped biting her lip, but continued to pop her knuckles.
"Why so nervous?" I asked. "What else did you do this weekend that you don't want me to know about?"
"Nothing," she said. "I didn't think that you would mind me going out with my friends for a few hours. I stayed in the rest of the weekend."
"Where did you get the money for the movies?" I asked. I couldn't wait for her creative answer.
"Um," she said, as she looked down at the floor. "I had left over birthday money, so I used that."
I ran my hands through my hair as I walked toward her. "Really?" I asked. "From who?"
"Renee," she said.
"Didn't Renee give you a scrapbook for your birthday?"
"And, money," she quickly added. "I never spent it. Actually, I forgot all about it."
"Hmm," I said. "I see."
She smiled and seemed to relax, as I sat down on the bed next to her. I leaned in and licked her bottom lip. She closed her eyes and parted her mouth for me, as I pressed my lips to her. She always tasted so fucking delicious, but I couldn't lose focus. I kissed her long and slow for a few minutes, and she seemed to be buying this false sense of security as she inched closer to me, running her hands through my hair. A few minutes ago, she didn't want to be this close and now she was practically crawling into my lap. Silly girl.
"Bella," I whispered, as I ran my hand over her throat. "Who do you belong to?"
"You," she moaned against my mouth.
I slid my hand down her neck and started to unbutton her shirt. "What will you do for me?"
"Anything," she breathed out.
I abruptly pulled away from her and she let out a small whimper.
"I'm having a hard time believing that you'll do anything for me, since you won't even tell me the truth about where you got the money for your weekend excursion."
"Edward, please," she said.
"Please what?" I said. "Please don't feel bad that you are a lying bitch?"
She gasped at my words, as the tears began to slide down her cheeks. "What's wrong with you?" She said, as she got up and walked to the door. I was momentarily stunned by what I had just said, so that was probably how she made it into the hallway.
"Bella, wait," I said, as I ran after her and blocked her from leaving.
"I want you to leave me alone," she said. "There's something wrong with you, and until you figure it out, I can't be around you."
Now, that just pissed me off. I was going to apologize to her, but something inside me snapped as I grabbed her arm and pulled her to me. "You're not going anywhere."
"Edward, that hurts," she cried out. "Please let go."
"Where did you get the money?" I asked.
"Please, you're hurting me," she said, as she tried to get out of my hold.
"Tell me," I said. "Stop lying to me."
"Please…" she cried out.
"Let her go!" Jasper yelled as he approached us. Carlisle was right behind him and in my face, before I even had time to react. I could hear how disappointed he was in me. My rage was slowly being replaced with calm, but Jasper's power wasn't affecting me as quickly as it usually did. I smiled at him, and he knew he was making little progress.
JPOV
I could smell Bella in the house. She was in Edward's bedroom, but I hoped that they weren't going to have sex tonight. I kept telling myself that I didn't want them to be together because it was turning Edward into a dark prick, and that may have been part of it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I just didn't want him touching her. I swear I felt physically sick when I stood outside her window last night and heard them making love. The lust that was coming off the two of them brought an immense feeling of jealously within me, and I wasn't sure where that was coming from at all. I wanted to believe that I was envious of the love they felt for one another, and the passion they were igniting within each other, but that wasn't it at all. It was more than that, and as much as I tried to deny it, I couldn't. A part of me, and I wasn't sure how big of a part, wanted Bella. I ran into the woods as soon as I realized what they were doing, but I was sure Edward knew I was there.
"Carlisle," I said, as I entered his study. "Can we talk?"
"Sure, Jasper," he said, as he looked up from a stack of papers. "Are you okay?"
"I'm getting better," I said, and I was telling the truth. I was beginning to accept that Alice was gone and that our life together was nothing more than a lie. I didn't agree with the way she went about leaving me, but in the long run, it was the best thing for both of us. I just wished she was a bit more honest with her latest set of visions. "Has Edward come to see you today?"
"No," he said. "Should he have?"
"I was hoping," I said. "Something isn't quite right with him."
"I've noticed that he hasn't been himself, and I was hoping that his hunting trip was going to help him. He has been avoiding me."
"It figures," I laughed. "I know this isn't my story to tell, but I'm starting to worry about Bella. I can feel Edward's emotions, and they are erratic and dark."
"He would never hurt Bella," Carlisle said. "If that is what you are suggesting."
"The old Edward would never have hurt Bella, but this Edward of late, is not the same."
"I don't understand," he said, and I felt his confusion. "What could have happened to him that would have changed his make-up?"
"Well, I think it may have had something to do with Bella," I said, but I wasn't quite sure how to explain it.
"What could Bella have done to Edward that would make him different?" He looked up at me, and I felt his realization. "Did they become intimate?"
"Yes," I said. "That's when this all started."
"I see," he said, and I felt his anxiety.
"What is it? Did you know that this could happen?"
"No," he said. "Of course not, but sex is a very primal act, and for a vampire we have the urge to claim and mate, so it is possible that when Edward connected with Bella in that way, his animalistic side took over. Sex could have altered him in a very negative way."
"What are we going to do about Bella?" I asked, concerned for her safety.
"I need to speak with Edward," he said, as he shook his head in disbelief. "Maybe you can keep an eye on Bella, in the meantime."
"I'll try, but I think that may cause her more problems with Edward."
"Would you rather I have Esme do it?" he asked. "Maybe she can take her away for a few days, until we get this sorted out."
"No," I said, much too quickly, and I felt Carlisle's curiosity spike. "I can look after Bella, but you have to convince Edward to stop being intimate with her. I'm afraid for her, and she's too in love to protect herself. She believes that this is somehow her fault."
"That's ridiculous," he said. "Look, we'll get to the bottom of this. I'm sure it can be fixed."
"Oh," I said, and I dreaded telling him this next part. "Edward has been keeping company with a female, human-drinking vampire as well. He went hunting with her this weekend."
"What?" I felt his shock and disappointment. "Esme is going to be heartbroken. Jasper, is he feeding from humans?"
"I don't think so," I said. "But, I don't think he is far off from that point. The last time he went out on his own, did his personality change, too?" I was wondering if Edward had a history of dark behavior. His emotions had always been lonely and fragile, but I never picked up any kind of evil or harmful vibes from him, until recently.
"No," Carlisle said. "The last time he went off on his own, it was more about him defying my lifestyle and he was trying to find himself. But, even back then he wasn't dark. When he fed, it was from people he deemed unworthy of life. He read their minds and only killed those who harmed others."
"I'm sure this vampire he is hanging out with doesn't have that kind of moral compass," I said, but before I could finish my statement, I was hit with a huge dose of fear. I stood up and focused on who and where it was coming from.
"What is it?" Carlisle said, as he got up from his chair, clearly alarmed.
"Bella," I said, as I headed for the hallway. I knew they were arguing, but I was more focused on my conversation with Carlisle to have realized when it exactly had gotten out of hand. That was stupid of me.
"Bella, wait," Edward said, as he ran after her. Her heart was beating so fast and she was so afraid, but she got a small burst of confidence.
"I want you to leave me alone," she said. "There's something wrong with you, and until you figure it out, I can't be around you."
I felt his rage spike out of control. It was so strong that it projected on to me. I had to calm myself, so that I didn't lose control. "You're not going anywhere," he growled.
"Edward, that hurts," she cried out. "Please let go." I felt her pain, and that made me even angrier.
"Where did you get the money?" he asked. This fight was over the money I had given her. Why didn't she just tell him where she got it?
"Please, you're hurting me," she said, as her voice shook.
"Tell me," he said. "Stop lying to me."
"Please…" she cried out.
Their exchange happened so fast. Edward was losing control, and there was no telling what he was going to do next. I had to remove Bella from this situation. I approached them, and saw the pain on her face and the fury in his eyes. This was not Edward.
"Let her go!" I screamed out, and I felt Bella's relief as our eyes met. Carlisle was right behind me as he moved closer to Edward. I could feel how disappointed he was with him. I pushed as much calm as I could, but it wasn't working as fast as it usually did. My gift wasn't penetrating Edward the way it should have. He was so full of rage; he even smiled at me because he knew he was becoming immune to me.
"Edward," Carlisle said. "Let her go."
"Please," Bella cried out. I put my hand on her shoulder and tried to relax her. If I couldn't manipulate Edward, I would do what I could for her.
"Release her," Carlisle said. "You're going to crush her wrist."
Bella's knees began to buckle, as she continued to whimper. I was extremely protective of her, and that caused me to bare my teeth and crouch down. I growled at him.
"Jasper," Carlisle said. "You're not helping."
Carlisle placed his hand on Edward's shoulder. "Let her go," he said. "You don't want to hurt her."
Edward looked into Bella's tear-filled eyes, and immediately let go. She collapsed against my chest. I pulled her close to me and whispered into her hair that she was safe, as I sent her waves of calm.
"Bella," Carlisle said. "I need to see your wrist."
She moved closer to me, and buried her head in my shoulder. I felt her embarrassment over what had happened. "Bella," I said. "Let Carlisle help you."
She held out her wrist, without moving away from me. I glared at Edward and spoke for only him; Do you see what you have done?
He looked away, but I felt his shame and shock over what had just happened.
Carlisle pressed on Bella's wrist, and she let out a small whimper. I stroked her hair and kept her relaxed.
"It's not broken," Carlisle said, as he looked at Edward. "Just bruised." The anger was pouring off him and crashing into me, making it hard for me to keep my composure.
"Bella, I…" Edward said, but Carlisle held his hand up and stopped him.
"Not now, Edward," he said. "Jasper, please take Bella downstairs and put some ice on that wrist, and then take her home. Bella, I'll check on you in the morning."
"I can take her home," Edward said.
"No," Bella whispered so quietly against my chest, but we all heard it.
"No," Carlisle said. "Edward, I think we need to talk."
"Bella, please," he attempted one more time. "I didn't mean to do that."
She slowly turned around to face him and in a soft, uncertain voice she said, "But you did it anyway."
"Jasper," Carlisle said. "Please take care of Bella now."
"Of course," I said, as I placed my hand on her back and led her down the steps. I felt Edward's disapproval and anger over the situation, but I also felt remorse. Perhaps there was hope for him.
***I'm up for bid…Support Stacie Auction begins on March 26, 2010. Here's what I'm offering…
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