Faux Pas
Eight to the Dark Hour
The alarm clock hadn't even gone off yet, and I was waking up on my own. Of course I was only able to wake up at a reasonable hour when I was completely sleep-deprived. My eyes hadn't opened yet, but I was regaining awareness of my surroundings. October 6th… Tuesday… We had school today. Exams started in a week… October…
Something wasn't right. It was fall. Usually, I was cold in the morning. I felt like I was waking up in the summer. Was the AC still broken? It wouldn't matter if it was. It wouldn't be warm…
I opened my eyes slowly to see what was amiss. At first, I was startled to see Bebe beside me, but then I remembered that I had let him in the night before. Only, he wasn't how I left him… He was no longer on his side of the bed. His arm was wrapped lightly around me, his face nestled snugly against my chest. He breathed steadily through his mouth; my chest felt warm where he exhaled.
This was unexpected. I wasn't sure what to think or do about it. I didn't want to move out of fear that I would wake him. He was so peacefully asleep. For the first time in awhile, he seemed relaxed. I couldn't make myself rob him of that. I didn't know what else to do.
I watched him quietly, observing the way his chest went up and down as he breathed. He stirred momentarily, scooted closer to me, and let out a small sigh. He murmured something that I swore sounded a little like my name. Yeah, the AC was still broken.
I was aware of the passing minutes, and I did start to worry a little that we might be late if I didn't say something. To my relief, he started to stir again. This time, his eyes opened.
"Morning," I said simply. He was a little slow to react, but he suddenly realized his position. He withdrew quickly, backing against the wall with his face bright red.
"G-Gomenasai!" he stammered, "I-I'm normally a still sleeper, I swear…!"
"You're okay," I told him, "You didn't bother me or anything."
He relaxed, but only slightly.
"Oh… Zat's good…" he said quietly, "Um… listen… I'll try to be on my own from now on so you can sleep better. I realize eet was probably a little rude to barge in last night."
"It's okay, Bebe, really," I promised, "I wouldn't mind if you stayed every night."
Bebe blushed.
"L-Like I said, I want to try to be independent…" he mumbled, "Demo… arigatou…"
He wanted to be self-reliant? I was sort of surprised that he was trying that out so early. I would be supportive of whatever he wanted, and I didn't expect him to fend for himself or anything. It wasn't really a good day for that. Especially since we would be going… there. I realized that this was our first time introducing Bebe to the normal routine of a S.E.E.S. member. I worried about it. It wasn't at all what he was used to. If he had to rely on me, I wouldn't argue with it. After all, "normal routine" made it sound easier than it really was.
We walked to school together that morning, which I believe came across as a surprise to many of the students who saw us going in. They exchanged secret messages with each other, looking briefly in our direction. Occasionally, someone would shoot a nasty glare or giggle. Bebe looked ahead, but I could tell it was bothering him. I didn't understand why it was such a big deal. We were just walking in together. It was no different than any other time I walked in with a friend.
Since exams were just around the corner, the lectures were lengthier and more difficult. I knew the answers, yes, but they weren't easy. I spent a lot of time wondering how Bebe was doing. Because he was in a different class, I wouldn't be able to help him with anything he didn't understand. I never remembered seeing his name on the results board in the past. Even if I only knew him by his nickname, I would have remembered seeing a foreigner's name.
At lunchtime, Bebe was already waiting for me outside the classroom. He smiled, but he didn't seem to have that same aura of friendliness. I wondered if the Dark Hour was to blame. I prayed it wouldn't be like this forever. I missed seeing the normal Bebe. The untainted one. We sat beside each other on the roof during the break. He watched the sky silently.
"Ze sky looks pretty now…" he said musingly, "What a curious zing…"
I noticed he wasn't really eating. He tapped his fan on his chin contemplatively.
"Is something bothering you?" I asked. He shook his head.
"Oh, no, I'm okay," he said quickly. Somehow, that wasn't convincing.
"Please talk to me," I said. Bebe smiled mysteriously.
"Zere eez nozing to talk about," he said sweetly. I frowned.
"Really, Bebe, if you're worried about something, I want you to tell me," I said, "I don't want you to be afraid. I can't really change your mind, of course, but at least let me help you. This wasn't something I was comfortable with either, and I didn't really feel comfortable enough with anyone to talk about it. Er… unless you're uncomfortable with it. I really will listen to whatever you have to say, and I promise I won't laugh at you or anything. I mean, it's not a laughing mat-"
I cut off as Bebe bopped me lightly on the head with his fan. It didn't hurt or anything, but I was startled by the action. Did he… did he just hit me? Was that an assault? I wondered for a moment if I actually managed to piss him off, but he raised an eyebrow a little and smiled, assuring me that it was a playful gesture.
"You're ze only one 'ere who eez worried," he said teasingly, "I 'aven't said a word about eet. Eet seems to me zat you are ze one zinking about eet."
"D-Don't be ridiculous," I muttered, "If you're not worried, I'm not."
"Of course not," Bebe agreed, but I felt like he might have been mocking me. We continued our lunch break in an uncomfortable silence.
After school, all the clubs were cancelled. Again, exams were closing in, and the school wanted us to have as much time to study as possible. I figured that I would tutor Bebe in any subject he needed help in. To my dismay, he refused my help yet again. I didn't understand why he was pushing me away. In fact, it was starting to hurt a little. I felt worthless.
After an entire day that seemed to drag itself along, we finally managed to make it back to the dorm. The moment we walked through the door, my cell phone rang. It was Elizabeth from the Velvet Room, letting me know the next block of Tartarus was unblocked. Fun. I thanked her and hung up. It had been awhile since I'd heard her voice… Maybe it was time to go back.
"Who's Elizabeth?" Bebe asked as I shut the phone, his smile tense.
"She's a friend of mine. Persona-related stuff, and whatnot," I explained briefly. I wasn't really used to explaining Velvet Room things before. Out loud, it sounded crazy. Even though I saw it all for myself, I still didn't think it was terribly credible.
We stood outside Gekkoukan at five til midnight. Rather, five til the Dark Hour. I looked over at Bebe, trying to ignore the S.E.E.S. armband wrapped around his left sleeve. He seemed to be mentally preparing himself, his expression indicating that he was slightly on edge. I checked my watch quickly.
Green swept over the world instantaneously, raping the area of its beauty. As Gekkoukan transformed into the tower, I still thought little of it. Then I remembered that Bebe was seeing it for the first time. He seemed intimidated, but otherwise concealed any other form of emotion. Mitsuru opened the gates again, allowing us inside first. Stepping onto the first floor, everyone dispersed, readying armor and arms. I sensed it would be a little while, so I took the opportunity to stop by the Velvet Room.
Again, I stepped into the barely furnished room in an elevator. The old man sat before a table and a single empty seat. Elizabeth stood next to him, smiling a bit more as I entered. Igor also smiled, though his smile was a bit creepier.
"Welcome…" he grinned, peering over his mosquito-nose, "It's been a long time since we've seen you here.
"Sorry," I apologized, taking a seat in the only available chair, "Things have been… busy lately."
"I know," Igor said, "It showed in your Social Links. You had… let's see, Lovers, Magician, Moon… three of them reversed last week. Glad to see you worked things out, at least."
Yukari, Kenji, and Nozomi respectively.
"Yeah. I guess…" I said doubtfully. Something told me this feud was only swept under the carpet.
"I noticed the Temperance Arcana Social Link has been growing stronger by the day," he went on, "That's an odd choice, considering you don't have a Persona of such an Arcana."
Temperance? Oh, right.
"Yeah… Bebe needed my help," I said.
Igor seemed particularly talkative that day.
"I notice he's with you even in the darkest of times," he cackled, "You have a fairly strong bond, don't you? It's too bad that it seems to be at a standstill."
I was shocked.
"A… a standstill?" I asked. I didn't understand. Why was it at a standstill? I thought we were close…
"Maybe it's time to back away a little. He took off the training wheels, so let go of the bike."
I admit, I was slow to understand that. I never rode a bike.
"Let your friend see what he can do," Elizabeth explained.
"Yes, and if he crashes into a tree or falls over, just make sure you're there to help him to his feet again," Igor said with a sly smile.
I sighed, hanging my head a little.
"What's the Link?" I asked, curious to see just where I was with Bebe. Igor calculated for a minute.
"Five," he finally said.
I admit that five is incredible for a week, but I was disappointed. Considering the amount of time I spent with him, I thought it would have been closer to ten. Furthermore, why were we at a standstill? Bebe seemed to like me. I liked him too. I felt like we had grown much closer in the past few days. What was going on with him?
"Would you be interested in fusing any of your Personae at the moment?" Elizabeth asked me, "Or perhaps you would like to view the Compendium? Or fulfill a request?"
"No, thanks. Not today," I sighed, standing slowly. I suddenly remembered the Old Document I had picked up the night I fought the Sleeping Table. I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to Elizabeth.
"I did find this," I said, "I know it's late, but I figure you need it anyway. Better late than never."
Despite that the deadline had passed, Elizabeth smiled happily at me.
"Thank you very much," she said, "Your efforts are much appreciated. I'll reward you anyway."
She handed me five Beads, a much-needed healing item. I never could express my utmost gratitude for her.
"Thanks, Elizabeth," I said, "I won't wait so long to come back next time, I promise."
"We'll be awaiting your next visit most eagerly," Igor grinned. I turned around and headed for the door.
As I returned from the Velvet Room, Bebe was standing close, his expression filled with concern.
"Tetsuya-sama, daijoubu?" he asked. I blinked, slightly confused.
"I told you, don't bother," Yukari said, "He's always spacing out in the corner over there. He always comes to. Now come on, we need to find a suitable weapon for you."
Weapon?
"Whoa, what?" I asked, worried about the direction in which this was heading. Yukari rolled her eyes.
"I had a feeling that would wake you up," she sighed, "Come on, Tetsuya-kun. You usually have an array of weapons to hand out. Which do you think would be best for Bebe?"
I looked over at Bebe, and he faced me bravely. I had been slightly relieved when he wasn't given an Evoker, but I was back where I started. I looked at his hands, trying to imagine them holding something besides the fan. I tried replacing it with a knife, Naginata, one-handed and two-handed swords, a crossbow, gloves, a hammer, an axe, and even a gun. I shook my head, immediately scratching the last option out.
Even with the slightly narrowed list, my options weren't working out too well. I really couldn't picture a weapon in Bebe's hand. It seemed unnatural for him. Yukari waited for my response impatiently. I couldn't do it.
"Do we… do we really have to give him one…?" I asked. Yukari groaned.
"Really, Tetsuya?" she sighed, "Why do you always have to make things more difficult than they are?"
"Look who's talking," I muttered, frowning at her.
"Look, it's not like he's actually fighting with us," Yukari said, and Bebe looked at her quickly, "It's more for self-defense than anything. We promise we're not making him bite off a bigger piece than he can chew."
Junpei handed Bebe the handle of his katana.
"Here, Bebe," he said, "Give Raikou a try. It's a pretty sturdy blade."
"And what will you be doing?" I asked him, trying to subtly remind him that he was always someone that I picked to take into Tartarus.
"I upgraded my gear," he responded, "I don't need it anymore. I'll still be armed and ready. Go on, take it. I had my fun with it. I don't want it to go to waste."
"Junpei, if he doesn't want it, don't force it upon him," I frowned, "Besides, it's a two-handed sword. Even I have problems swinging those aro-"
"Uwaa! Zis looks like ze sword of a samurai!" Bebe exclaimed, highly excited. Of course. I had forgotten who we were talking about.
"Sure does!" Junpei grinned, "And it'll make you look freakin' sweet when you smack Shadows with it!"
"Does eet make a clean cut?" Bebe asked enthusiastically.
"Hell yeah!"
"Yatta! Sugoi!"
"Dude, like, really?" I asked, feeling betrayed by this sudden eagerness from Bebe. That soon went away after Junpei handed it over and Bebe was unable to lift the blade from the floor. I could only hope that his excitement would slowly subside as he realized exactly how difficult it would be to drag the katana upstairs.
The Tziah Block of Tartarus had extended into another part, so the floors didn't seem any different than those I had been exploring for the past month. The walls still shimmered a pretty gold while the floors were still slightly spotted by blood pools. In addition to my team of Junpei, Akihiko, Ken, and Bebe, Mitsuru decided it was best if she came with us since we had our new member with us. It was frustrating to have her there since the atmosphere became more serious than usual. The sound of her shoes clopping also irritated me, in addition to the scraping sound of Raikou's blade being dragged along the floor. No one else seemed to care about any of it…
The floor was quiet for awhile. Only we were around.
"Something doesn't seem right…" Mitsuru said quietly, "The Shadows aren't here…"
"They're probably scared of us," Junpei grinned, "I guess the word finally spread."
Mitsuru tuned him out.
"Yamagishi, can you sense anything?" she asked, addressing Fuuka. She was quiet for a moment as she tried to sense the presence of the Shadows.
"There are a lot of Shadows on this floor…" she said through the transmitter, "They're just in other areas…"
"Strange…" Mitsuru said musingly. She was quiet for a moment. "Let's move forward. Be ready to attack if necessary."
I stayed behind everyone else, despite my position as leader. I wanted to make sure that Bebe had someone in front of and behind him so that there wouldn't be any surprise attacks. Since everyone else was ahead of him, that side was definitely safer. I was prepared to defend him from mine. I had little indication that I could be more correct.
"Hold on a second…" Fuuka said suddenly, "They're moving…"
"Away?" Mitsuru asked.
"They're heading towards you…" she said nervously.
Everyone was on guard immediately.
"Settle down, guys," Junpei sighed, "We can do this, right? How bad can it be?"
"I don't think you understand…" Fuuka said, seeming scared out of her mind, "They're ALL coming towards you."
Junpei finally understood the seriousness of the situation.
"Oh crap," he gulped.
"This is no different than any other battle," Mitsuru told us, "Just to be safe, let's get to a larger space to make sure we can move easier."
We quickly made our way down the hallway to a large room. A small staircase that led to a landing remained in the corner. Great. One escape point. We had been in the room for only two seconds when the first wave of Shadows came in. There were at least ten, and they came in from the front of the line first. To our relief, it was nothing but a bunch of Maya. Mitsuru drew her rapier and sliced the first one in the face, causing it to recoil.
However, it didn't quit. The Maya began pushing in from the hallway. The one Mitsuru hit tried to scurry around her, but met its demise by the point of Ken's Naginata.
"Nice one, Ken," Akihiko smiled approvingly, punching a Maya as it drew near.
"These guys are kind of easy," Junpei laughed, letting the blade of his sword fall onto another, "They practically let you hit 'em."
"No… something's not right…" Mitsuru muttered, grunting as she sliced at another one.
She was right. The Shadows were behaving very strangely all of a sudden. They weren't actually attacking us. In fact, it seemed like they were trying to go around…
"Hey, Bebe this might be a good night for you," Junpei grinned, "These guys aren't even trying. Go on, take a shot."
Bebe started to step forward, but I grabbed his shoulder.
"No, don't," I said, worried that the situation would turn for the worse.
"Oh, come on," Junpei whined, "Let him go, man. They won't hurt him. Look how cute he is."
Ken glared at him briefly as he swung at a Shadow.
"It doesn't matter," I barked, "He's not ready for-"
"Tetsuya-sama," Bebe said suddenly, shooting a glare at me, "Please let go of me…"
There was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as his stare pierced through me. Igor's words suddenly ran through my mind…
Maybe it's time to back away a little. He took off the training wheels, so let go of the bike.
Was this really what Bebe wanted…? It couldn't be right. How could he be ready to jump into battle so soon? It didn't matter… I couldn't hover over him if he didn't want me to. Hesitantly, I released him. Junpei seemed surprised by both of us.
"Whoa, Tetsuya… Bebe really did brainwash you," he said, then laughing, "Just kidding! Yuka-tan would totally kill me for that if she was here!"
He stood aside.
"Go on, take a swing," he said.
I was bothered by what was going on to say the least. And the idea that Bebe wouldn't let me help him kind of pissed me off. I made a promise not to let him get hurt, and he was putting himself in harm's way. Fine. If that's what he wanted… so be it.
Bebe struggled to lift Raikou from the floor, barely raising it an inch. The Maya looked at him and stopped moving.
"Dude, look how stupid it is," Junpei snickered, "It's practically welcoming it." He looked at Bebe, seeming almost exasperated by the amount of time it was taking him. "Don't just stand there! Hit it!"
I stared Bebe down irritably. He couldn't even lift the sword. If he was so brave, he could manage. I wouldn't help him. He didn't want my help. Whatever. I was blinded by my anger. But not so blind that I didn't see what happened next.
The Maya lifted its claw and swiftly swept it through the air, raking it across Bebe's arm. He let out a yelp as his blood spattered the wall. Every irritable thought I'd been thinking before dropped to the floor with my stomach and I jumped into action. Swinging my sword with all the strength I had, I managed to kill Maya in one fatal blow.
"Holy shit!" Junpei exclaimed, alarmed by what had happened. The others had turned to face us as Bebe screamed. Mitsuru took one look at the blood on the wall and Bebe's wounded arm, and then Junpei and me. She put two and two together pretty fast.
"Dammit, both of you!" she yelled at us, "He's not here to fight! What were you thinking?"
I didn't argue with her because for once I wanted her to be upset with me, even though I knew it was Junpei who encouraged it. Technically, I was to blame. Bebe was my responsibility. I knew something was wrong and I doubted Bebe's ability to handle it. I wasn't sure why it attacked him and not the rest of us, but it didn't make me any less responsible. Whatever happened to Bebe, on or off my watch, was my fault.
Bebe stayed particularly close to me, whimpering a bit as he clutched his bleeding arm tightly. He trembled violently, holding back tears with a great level of difficulty. He could stay as close to me as he needed to. I wouldn't let anything else hurt him. Not anymore. Screw it all. I was putting the training wheels back on.
As the others faced away from the Shadows, the wave came in heavier than before. They all went around Mitsuru, Akihiko, Ken, and Junpei. They tried to get around me too, but I wasn't going to let that happen. Never.
And then my worries from before came into play. A second wave of Maya came in from behind the group. The amount had doubled on that end. These ones didn't have anyone to go around. They were headed at Bebe.
But I was quicker. I leapt between them, fighting them off in pairs. They didn't try to attack me. That's when I began to realize what they were doing. My eyes widened.
"It's him…" I said quietly.
"What?" Mitsuru asked.
"They're not after us!" I yelled, "They're after Bebe!"
"The hell?" Junpei exclaimed, "Why him?"
I gritted my teeth as I continued to wipe the Shadows out. Maybe they knew he wouldn't put up a fight. He wasn't a threat… Were they after him because he was normal? The second wave had been twice as large, which supported that theory pretty well. They must have smelled his spilt blood… The bloodthirsty bastards.
But that didn't explain why they were so hell-bent to get at him that they didn't bother with us. There were just under thirty of them and six of us. We were caught up in the middle of a swarm. There was no way we could keep this up long enough. It would be like the equivalent of five battles on our own, and that was only if Bebe had a battle to himself. I think everyone knew that wouldn't happen.
"We need to find an access point!" I shouted, "We've got to get him out of here!"
"No arguments there," Mitsuru grunted, "Akihiko, can you…?"
"I'll do my best," Akihiko responded, heading forward automatically.
To my relief, the access point was only at the end of the hallway, and we were transported from Tziah to the ground floor before any of us could blink. As soon as we made it back to the lobby, everyone not involved seemed confused.
"Back already?" Yukari asked, "It hasn't even been half an hour…"
I turned back to Bebe quickly.
"Bebe, are you okay?" I asked him. He quaked fearfully, hardly able to breathe properly.
"H-Hai… I-I'm okay…" he said quietly. I held out my hand.
"Let me see your arm," I said. Without reluctance, he obeyed quietly. The wound was deep and had sliced his arm from the wrist to the elbow. My stomach churned to look at it. What had I done…?
"Oh my God," Yukari gasped as she noticed the blood that dripped to the floor, "He was attacked?"
"He's the only one they were after…" Akihiko said.
"They didn't even bother with us," Junpei said quietly.
Mitsuru was pissed off.
"Iori. Saito," she snarled, "I hope you both realize that his injury was your fault. If he had died, the casualty would have been on your account. What were you thinking?"
"It wasn't zeir fault…" Bebe said softly.
"No, it was mine," I spoke up. Bebe and Junpei looked at me suddenly, as if surprised that I was taking the full blame. Mitsuru glared.
I took a breath and sighed.
"His injury was my fault. No one else's…" I told her, "What's done is done and it doesn't change what happened. But it does change what will happen in the future. That I swear on my life."
I took my Evoker out and called forth Saki Mitama. She cast Diarama on Bebe arm. The depth of the wound was decreased greatly and the bleeding slowed. However, the length was not changed, and I assume that the pain was still there. At least it wouldn't call for stitches anymore…
Yukari went to Bebe, holding her hands behind herself shyly.
"Are you going to be okay?" she asked him. He nodded shakily. Yukari smiled at him a little.
"You're pretty tough for someone who doesn't have a Persona…" she said approvingly, "Good for you."
Bebe looked up at me, completely silent. I felt like crap. How could I let him get hurt? How could I even let myself be blinded by anger? I had taken on a great burden in protecting him, but I knew there was nothing I wanted more than to keep him safe. So far, I wasn't proving my capabilities too well. What was he feeling? Was he upset with me for breaking my promise?
We returned to the dorm while the Dark Hour was still in effect, which was highly unusual for S.E.E.S. The moment we got back, everyone was ready to turn in. Before they left, everyone made sure to say something to Bebe. Everyone had something comforting to say, which put my mind about that at ease, but it didn't change that I felt sick.
Before she went upstairs, Yukari wrapped up Bebe's remaining wound. I never understood the sudden nurturing feelings she displayed for him, but it comforted me to know that she wasn't acting like the stupid little witch she was before. Bebe thanked her, but was otherwise quiet.
Yukari went inside her room, and I headed for mine. I slowly placed my hand on the door knob, barely able to make myself turn it. The way Bebe had looked at me back at Tartarus had been burned into my mind permanently. A look so filled with fear and distraught… I felt as if I had betrayed him. I never considered myself immature before, but that night made me seriously reconsider. Why was I so sensitive?
I finally sighed and pushed the door open. A brief cold air greeted me. The AC must have kicked back on before the Dark Hour…
"Tetsuya-sama…?"
Bebe stood beside me timidly. He rubbed his dressed arm a little.
"Eez… eez eet okay if… I stay wiz you tonight…?" he asked softly.
I felt my heart lift a little, though I couldn't make myself smile. Not after what had happened…
"You don't have to ask," I told him, "You can stay with me as many times as you want…"
Bebe smiled, but only very slightly. I let him in first, following closely behind him.
As I closed the door, he turned to face me. He looked at the floor a little, continuing to rub his arm. He looked back up at me, and I could feel my arm and chest begin to ache. He was hurting in more ways than one. He was in pain because of me. It was all my fault… I hated myself.
I leaned forward, resting my forehead against his temple as I wrapped my arms around him tightly. His face was particularly warm and his entire body quivered.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered, "I'm sorry I failed you…"
His arms slowly slid around me, holding me close to him.
"Oh, Tetsuya-sama… no…" he muttered, "Don't say zat… You did nozing wrong…"
"I said I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. That was my promise. And I broke it…"
"I told you to let go of me. You did exactly what I asked. Eet was my choice to put myself in danger…"
Tears rolled down his cheeks, sliding onto my nose and lips.
"I'm not like you… I'm not strong, and I can't 'elp anyone. Not even myself… Before you, I walked alone, trying to ignore what everyone else said about me be'ind my back… I know everyone 'ates me… And I don't blame zem… You're ze first person to show me zis endless kindness, not to mention ze first to promise to protect my life… I couldn't let myself 'old you back… I zought zat by trying to do zings on my own, I could make myself less of a burden for you… My mistake…"
I looked at him, my heart aching at his words.
"Don't you ever call yourself a burden again…" I said quietly, "Okay? You're not deadweight. You're someone very precious to me. Please understand that I'm not saying that just to make you feel better. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You're someone worth fighting for…"
Bebe blushed and his irises sparkled. His eyes lowered a little and then closed as he pressed his forehead against my neck.
"Tetsuya-sama… I need you…" he said softly.
"And I'll always be here for you, as long as you do," I promised. I kissed his cheek, a little longer than I normally did.
Usually, he kissed my cheek in return. This time he pulled away from me and turned around, hiding his face in his hands. His sudden resistance startled me.
"Bebe? What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked. He spun around, his face a brilliant red.
"F-Fine! I'm just fine!" he stammered, beginning to quake again.
I tried a few more times, but he kept insisting that he was okay. I wasn't left with no other option but to give up. It bothered me that there was still some things about him that I didn't know, but I figured it was probably best. We finally went to bed, and I decided to stay awake through the remainder of the hour again.
Bebe slept on his side of the bed again, though he faced me this time. Some of his lashes stuck together due to the dry tears. Every so often, he mumbled incoherent words and his feet shifted. I knew it was weird, but I kind of liked how he slept.
"It seems that you two have become very close now…"
I jumped a little and jerked my attention towards the foot of the bed. Pharos sat there smiling a little.
"I envy what you have…" he said, then musing, "It's cold tonight. Can you believe it's already autumn? It'll be winter before you know it… But I'm sure neither of you have to worry so much about that, right?"
"Go away," I hissed.
Pharos seemed hurt by my hostility.
"What now?" he asked plaintively.
"You told me my life would never be normal again, and now Bebe's in danger. Piss off."
"I don't control the future," Pharos said with a frown, "I'm but a messenger, so don't shoot me."
I looked away from him, redirecting my eyes at Bebe. He wasn't aware of this conversation at all.
"You seem tired," Pharos said softly, "Did something happen?"
"Well if you must know, I just lost a friend, and nearly lost another," I growled, "It's not so unexpected for my energy to be this drained."
Pharos was quiet as he contemplated my words. He looked out my window.
"In this world, people die every day," he said, "Until recently, this was the same to me as the blowing of the wind. But now I see things differently… for the first time, I have a friend."
He looked back at me.
"Don't tell me that's not how you feel about him too… how difficult it is to realize that something as fragile as a life can end and take everything from you… there's something you haven't had to consider for the past ten years."
He slipped off the bed, crossing his arms in deep thought.
"Lately, I've become more certain of something…" he said gently, "You know the end I've spoken of? Some people refer to it as 'The Fall' but regardless… It's drawing near. Don't you sense it…?"
"No, I can't say that I have," I sighed. Pharos appeared troubled.
"We are kindred spirits, you and I, so why is it that only I can remember? This is a heartrending matter… Is my existence something you are unable to accept?"
I looked back at him, less irritated. He stared at me, seeming somewhat betrayed. Yet, it didn't stir quite the same guilt when he did it. It wasn't to say that I didn't feel bad for how Pharos felt, but Bebe made me feel far worse. At the same time, I didn't know what I could say to him. Little of what he had said made sense to me. Luckily, he seemed to understand that.
Pharos smiled mysteriously.
"Forgive me if I have said anything peculiar today. …Perhaps it is the change of seasons. Of course, our friendship remains steadfast. Well, I shall bid you farewell for now. Good night…"
Before I could get another word out, he had vanished.
I sighed and looked back at Bebe, still stuck on Pharos' words from the previous visit. Maybe my life wasn't meant to be normal. Then again, it wasn't the worst thing in the world. Normal or not, I had someone who was there. As the Dark Hour faded away, I fell asleep easily. I hadn't slept better in months.
