Author's Notes: Babysitter? Edward the Babysitter. Is he going to be more of the scary guy that dragged her out of class, or does he soften up now that he can see maybe she isn't so bad?
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Chapter Eight – The First Night
After dinner my dad spent the rest of the evening in front of the TV. If it wasn't baseball, it was football; if it wasn't football, it was soccer; if it wasn't soccer, it was hockey. It didn't seem to matter what the sport was; my dad enjoyed it. He favored baseball, but if it wasn't baseball season, he watched the rest with little to no reservation.
Me? Not so much. Even before the change and my new brain made homework so much easier, I'd still rather do homework than sit and watch sports. Tonight, I made an attempt to tolerate it for about thirty minutes before I couldn't anymore. I used the excuse of homework so I could get away.
Even the thought of lying to my dad over such a little thing as working on homework made me feel terrible guilt, so I did do some homework after I got up to my room. I hadto lie about so much already that honesty in the other areas mattered so much more to me now. My homework didn't take long, so I booted up the computer to check my email. My mom was sure to have replied to my last message by now, and she wouldn't wait too long before getting antsy and calling to check on me. I figured it would be at least a month before she got distracted by something else and limited her emails to once a week. It didn't usually take so long, but she was still really sensitive about my disappearance. I forgave her a lot of fussing for that worry.
I was right, there was an email waiting from my mom. She asked about school: if I had any new friends and all about how I was getting along with my dad. I was in the middle of answering her when I heard movement in the tree out back where Edward had been waiting, and was not at all surprised when I heard the tree right outside adjust to the weight of someone climbing on it. Then, my window slid open and he climbed inside.
I gestured politely for him to sit on the rocking chair in the corner and then took a moment to finish the message to my mother. I shut down the computer after the email had been sent and turned to look at my visitor.
"Got tired of perching in the trees?" I had to ask; I'd heard him fidgeting.
"Well, your father is completely occupied. I figured it wouldn't be that big of a deal to start our talk a little earlier." He walked leisurely over to the old rocking chair and settled into it with a smile in my direction.
I shrugged, and while I didn't need to sit down, or even to move, I got up and walked over to settle down in my favorite spot on my bed. Comfort was now more of a frame of mind than a condition of the body, and I liked to lean against the wall and stretch my legs out on my bed. My books were piled comfortably next to me. There was still a stack of them there from the night before and I noticed him look at them curiously before his eyes returned to me.
He waited until I got settled and then leaned back in the rocking chair. He was still watching me with those distracting topaz eyes. I tried to appear unaffected and instead looked back at him expectantly. He didn't make me wait long.
"First, the rules," he started. I smiled at that. I was completely and utterly amused that there were rules to being a vampire, but I figured since the entire world was quite unaware we existed there had to be a reason why.
"Really, the only rule is keeping the secret," Edward revealed after a moment, almost seeming disappointed. "Everything else stems from that one factor."
"That's easy enough, and I had kind of already figured that one out," I wasn't going to let him off easy. There had to be a reason for them to insist he shadow me, and this was really weak.
He grinned, his manner loosening up slightly. I guess he was getting used to the idea that while I was likely a ticking time bomb, I didn't have a short fuse.
"True. That's another thing that's really so extraordinary about you, you seem to have been able to keep that rule instinctively." He gestured absently to the pile of books beside me. "And you can concentrate well enough to read and study."
"Not without effort, but it was worth it to me to do so," I admitted. They all seemed to think I was really something unusual, but I couldn't agree. I was dangerous, and it scared me. "As for the reading, my mom kept a real close eye on me for the first month or so. She'd check on me randomly in the middle of the night. I'd run out to hunt and then had to come right back. I needed distractions; books helped provide that."
I could hear Charlie moving around downstairs again, but he was only heading into the kitchen during the commercial to get another beer and get rid of the empty bottle from his last one. We both listened to him for a moment before we started talking again.
"All right, some background and history then. Typically, vampires are a law unto themselves. Nearly all are nomads: they cannot stay long in one place because of their diet. They don't like being told what to do and they don't recognize a higher authority. The exception to this are the Volturi." He spoke a little more softly while we waited for Charlie to become absorbed in his game again.
"The Volturi?" That sounded like something entirely vampire and like something I needed to know about.
"The Volturi are a coven of three vampires and two of their mates, who live in Italy. They're the closest thing we have to a ruling class, and they police the vampire world, making sure that everyone keeps to the rule of secrecy." Edward had expected my need for more information and he explained before I had a chance to ask. "They are the only 'higher authority' that vampires recognize."
"If you'd gone wild in Arizona, and turned the city into your own personal killing field, the Volturi would eventually have hunted you and brought you to justice. Afterward, they'd have gone after your maker for not ensuring that you kept to the rules," Edward didn't temper this information much, though I could see he wanted to.
I winced. I wasn't mislead by the innocuous-sounding idea of justice: they'd have killed me. Though the idea of them going after the one who'd made me like this sounded quite attractive. Some part of me was delighted at even the hypothetical thought of being the direct cause of his death.
"Three vampires keep the peace over the entire world. I imagine they aren't home much." I tried to smooth over my sudden vindictiveness with something far more innocent.
"They are millennia old and they don't leave Volterra often. They send out their guard. They recruit vampires they see as of worth to them and give them a place in their personal guard," Edward continued.
That made more sense to me. They had an army of vampires that was dangerous enough to keep the rest of the vampire-world running scared. This was not a group of people I wanted to be aware of my existence.
"Carlisle spent some time with them, some centuries back. He made friends with the three leaders and they asked him to become a part of their guard. I think they saw him as a curiosity more than anything else." Edward started to rock slightly in the chair, though it made no sound at his movement.
This last admission surprised me. It wasn't what he told me, but why he told me. He thought I would want to know. I had no idea how I knew that he was trying to share parts of their lives with me, but there was no doubt in my mind. I smiled at him in thanks. He was right; I did want to know these more personal things. They made the Cullens seem more like people instead of the merciless killers I thought all vampires would be.
His breath caught as I smiled at him and I looked down, pulling one of my books into my hands. I wasn't sure what had caused that reaction, so it made me nervous. I looked at the book I'd grabbed and smiled a little. It had been in my mind a lot lately, so I wasn't terribly surprised: Sonnets from the Portuguese. I ran my hands over the little hardback cover.
"So, why did he leave?" I wondered aloud as my finger traced the embossed words on the front of the book.
"He could not condone their way of life. They are not vegetarians as we are, refusing to feed on human blood. It was too hard for him to suffer witness to the destruction of human life," Edward easily explained. "There really aren't very many of us that refuse to feed on humans. I know only of two families: ourselves and a coven in Denali that we see as cousins."
From what I'd noticed of Carlisle, that seemed so appropriate. To me, he was the embodiment of compassion and mercy -- a leader so extraordinary that others wanted to follow him into a hard life of restraint and benevolence.
"How does he do it?" I wondered aloud, my eyes lured to Edward's face again. I remembered Esme me earlier, when she was explaining Carlisle's absence, that he was a doctor. "How does he work at the hospital like he does?"
I'd known he was a doctor; it was part of the gossip Jessica had imparted to me in the school cafeteria. It was all the more remarkable now that I knew he was a vampire. It took a level of control that was almost incomprehensible to me.
"Practice. After all this time, I don't think he even notices the thirst anymore. It took him a long time -- centuries, actually. Just like you, the goal was more important to him than the pain that it caused him." Edward was looking at me, watching me, while he spoke. Again, his expression revealed nothing personal of what he was thinking or feeling.
"Ah," I acknowledged that I understood what he meant. "For me, it was more important that I didn't hurt my family. More important than satisfying my thirst for their blood." It didn't need to be said, but I did it anyway to cover that I didn't know how to react to the way he was watching me.
Charlie started moving around downstairs again and my room grew silent as we both listened to him. He turned off the TV and after a moment started up the stairs.
"He'll check in on me before he goes to bed," I looked up to ward Edward, but he was already sliding into the closet before the words left my lips.
By the time Charlie opened the door, my book was open like I'd been reading. I smiled at Charlie in greeting, swallowing against the increase of venom in my mouth, and ignoring the burn in my throat. The closer to late night, when I could hunt again; the worse it got.
"Gonna be shutting down soon, Bells? It's getting pretty late," Charlie observed as he nodded at my book.
"Yeah, I'll get to bed soon, Dad," another lie, but I was sure he wouldn't have understood if I informed him that not only didn't I need to sleep anymore but that I physically couldn't.
"Okay, uh, night, then. Have a good day at school tomorrow." Without anymore fuss, he closed my door and wandered off to bed.
After Charlie left, I looked back over at the closet and Edward was sliding back out silently. I had to hold back a giggle at how it would have seemed to anyone else. I'd never had a male other than my father or Phil in my room before, and it seemed kind of strange to have one hiding in my closet, even though the circumstances were completely innocent.
"He loves you very much," Edward observed as he sank back into the rocking chair with inhuman grace. His voice was even softer now, though I had no trouble hearing him.
"I know. All of this has been really hard on him. He was delighted when I told him I wanted to move here." I loved my father. The way he was so accepting, taking me unquestioningly into his house and his life. It made me appreciate him so much more than I ever had.
Never once in my life did I question the knowledge that my father was a good man. Everyone has their faults, their weaknesses, but underneath all of that, some people were just downright good. My father was one of those people.
"I have been very lucky in my parents. Even Phil, he's a good guy," a slight smile tipped at the corners of my mouth. It was getting easier to relax around Edward since he'd stopped being scary and intimidating. I hoped that this easy way would continue.
"Phil? He's your mother's husband?" Edward questioned.
I shouldn't have been surprised that he wanted to know more about me. I had told his family about my change, but the things that made up my human life -- who I was -- they knew nothing about. This information, he would normally just pull from the minds of other people. , It reminded me again, he could not do this with me.
"Yeah, she got married about a year ago. They're still newlyweds." I didn't mind sharing this personal information with him; it didn't reveal anything about me that I wouldn't have shared with anyone else, really. "They're adorable about it too. He's a minor league baseball player and she had such a hard time when he went traveling. She wanted to go with him but felt it was more important to stay with me. Now, she can go with him."
This was a side effect of my move that made me very happy. My mother loved being with Phil, and now my presence wouldn't hold her back from being able to be with her new husband, wherever his team sends him.
A second later, I heard snoring and I giggled softly. Charlie had finally fallen asleep. I jumped to my feet, dropping my current favorite book on top of the others as I moved to the window.
"Thank heaven. I thought he'd never go to sleep," I climbed over the window frame with a grace I was still getting used to. Edward got up from the rocking chair to follow me out, closing the window behind him.
"Getting difficult, is it?" Edward asked curiously as he turned back to look at me and I shrugged.
"It's certainly easier after I've hunted," I admitted wryly and looked around to see if anyone was watching before I jumped off the roof of the house. It would not be good to have anyone witness me exhibit such unusual behavior and not even get injured.
Edward was right behind me as I walked over to where the trees were close together and then took off at a run into the forest. He was fast, keeping up with me easily, though I wasn't in any special hurry -- other than the fact that I always burned with thirst.
I sped up -- not that I wanted to race him, beat him or get away from him; I was just reveling in the parts of this life that I enjoyed. I loved to feel the wind in my hair as I was able to consume miles with an inhuman stride. I loved the fact that I no longer stumbled, tripped or fell on my face.
As we moved farther and farther into the wilderness, I laughed in delight, leaping over drops in the terrain and skirting around trees as I headed into the Olympic Mountains and turned roughly east toward Seattle. It would take us some time of running this fast to reach the city, but I wasn't going to go so far. I just wanted to be away from populated areas.
When in Phoenix, I'd done the same thing, heading out into the desert before I started hunting. I'd noticed when I killed that first den of coyotes that it was impossible for me to control what I hunted after I allowed my to let go. I didn't want to take any chances with anyone's life.
Edward had no trouble keeping up with me at all, matching his stride to mine easily. He was openly amused by my delight in the run. "I take it this part of the new life hasn't been painful for you at all," he commented as we ran.
"Oh, this is the best part. I was a complete klutz. I tripped over things that were there but also things that were not. No coordination at all," I didn't like to admit this, but it was surely something he would figure out before long if he hadn't already.
I tried to duplicate my human self as much as possible when out among humans, and the clumsiness was a big part of that. I held up my hands, turning them at the wrist and gesturing to where there had been little lines of scars on the palms of my hands. My scars were gone now, lost in the burning of the change.
"I fell a lot," I muttered, explaining the look I gave my hands and the scars that he could not see. I couldn't hold in my smile. This was something I didn't worry about anymore, being so clumsy I was almost disabled. "I try to keep up the illusion that I'm still a klutz. I'm glad my parents aren't suspicious about the fact that I haven't broken any bones lately."
Edward laughed at what must seem so silly, not knowing how serious I was. I sighed silently to myself at the sound of his laugh. I could easily get used to that sound. I wasn't in the habit of lying to myself, so I had to admit that Edward Cullen being around just felt more and more right to me.
It really wasn't long before we were far enough into the wilderness that I felt comfortable letting go of my carefully maintained control, and I stopped quite suddenly near a quietly moving stream. Edward came to a stop nearby, though he didn't interfere. He was back to acting cautious as my stance became more predatory. I'd scented something that caught my interest and I knew he wouldn't interfere so long as what I hunted wasn't human.
I took off again, intercepting a large moose as it came to drink at the stream. Within a moment, I had taken the large animal to the ground, holding it into place while I bit into its neck tilting the body so the blood flowed freely into my mouth. Nothing else occupied my mind or my attention while I fed. When the moose had been drained completely and lay dead, I lifted my head, almost surprised to see Edward standing beside a nearby tree watching me.
I lifted my hand up to make sure that I didn't have blood all over my face and was a bit embarrassed to find that I had fed messily enough that there was some streaked across my cheek. Again, one of those moments I would have blushed bright red if I could. Then again, if I could blush still, I'd hardly have been in this particular situation. At least it wasn't as bad as in Phoenix. I'd always come back covered in so much blood I'd have to get rid of my clothes. After only a time or two of this, I had gone to the thrift store and purchased myself a cheap "hunting outfit" to preserve my savings as much as possible.
"I guess I'm a sloppy eater," I reached up again to rub at my face, letting my hair fall into my face to hide it as I did so.
A moment later, I felt his fingers on my chin. He lifted my face to brush off a spot I'd missed and I looked up at him in surprise. At his touch, I felt that same tingle move through me as it did before, and I blinked up into his face in stunned astonishment. I couldn't let people touch me anymore, even my parents if I could help it, so this contact felt amazingly good. For a moment, I thought he touched me because he wanted to, and thought his fingers might have lingered on ridge of my cheekbone. It felt like it had been forever since I had been able to allow anyone to touch me freely; I nearly moaned with loss when he withdrew his hand.
"Not so sloppy as all that. When Emmett goes hunting, he often ends up covered in blood from head to foot. Of course, he specifically goes after bears and he does like to play with his food," Edward explained with a smile as his hand dropped back to his side.
I looked away quickly, embarrassed again. He was only trying to make me feel better and I was reading so much more into it. It was wrong of me to make something more out of simple courtesy.
"Well, should we head back then? I find that if I hunt bigger game daily I do not have to drink so much," I spun around, a blur of movement to any but vampire eyes and turned westward, leaping into the trees.
I admit part of me was running from my own feelings. I didn't want to think about how very silly and young I really felt around him. He kept pace with me again as we ran, but I was quiet this time. There were still things I needed to know about, and things I wanted to know about, but I was too embarrassed at the moment to bring up any of it.
"Bella," Edward said when we were nearly back to Charlie's house. His tone was hesitant, curious, and it made me turn my head to look at him in question. "Is anything wrong?"
He never said anything I expected. I didn't answer at first, and I didn't slow down, headed for the uncertain sanctuary that was Charlie's house.
"No, nothing's wrong," I lied, making sure that I was looking straight ahead as I did so. He made me truly wish to be a better liar for the first time in my life.
"Bella," Edward's tone was admonishing as he slowed. His hand touched my arm, and his fingers wrapped around my skin as he gently tugged on me until we both came to a stop. "You know, I've been watching you all day, and while I can't read your mind, I think I'm getting better at reading you. You really are a terrible liar."
He smiled at me to gentle his words and to encourage me to answer. Again, I felt that peculiar sensation down my spine whenever he touched me. It made me want things that I had no business wanting. Things like holding his hand as we ran together, touching his lips when he gave me that crooked smile, pressing my lips to his.
"I just don't like being away from Charlie for long. What if he wakes and notices that I'm gone? He'll start freaking out again," I tried to explain. It too was a lie, though not as much of one -- I did worry about those things.
He sighed and then reached for my hand, wrapping his fingers around mine. I knew from the way my mother had reacted that my skin was cold to humans, but to me, he felt warm, as I would feel to him. He drew my hand up as his fingers threaded through mine and brought my fingers up to his lips. I could only stare at him as his lips brushed the back of my knuckles.
"Bella, I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I think that something else is going on," Edward said, his lips still caressing the back of my fingers.
The touch of his mouth moving against my skin made me shiver -- a visceral reaction that I could not hide. That touch took me a step away from rational Bella and one step closer to the instinctual animal I became when I was hunting. I could only stare at him, unable to answer.
His lips brushed the back of my fingers again and he watched me, his expression rapt as he observed the reactions I could not hide.
"I think you're experiencing the same thing that I am," he continued, his voice soft as velvet.
It drew me in and dazzled me. My thinking mind was no longer in control, and I was totally absorbed by him and his touch on my hand, unable to look away from his eyes. He was silent for a moment. His fingers repositioned to clasp my hand, and at the loss of his lips directly on my skin, I was able to think again.
"The same thing?" I questioned, not sure what he meant.
"Yes," Edward nodded, reaching up with his free hand to caress the back of my fingers where his lips had touched.
"You fascinate me," he admitted, and I thought perhaps it was a grudging admission.
That startled me out of the daze he'd created, and I stared at him in shock.
"Me?" I squeaked out, surprised to the depth of my being. "There is nothing about me that is fascinating," I insisted as my eyes absorbed the look of him. Compared to him, I was the complete opposite of anything interesting. I was downright dull, even as a vampire: plain brown hair, scary red eyes, dangerous, and unpredictable.
"You," he confirmed, not letting go of my hand as I tugged on it. "I find you quite beguiling. Besides everything else about you that draws me, there is this..." his lips touched the back of my fingers again, and again -- I shivered, "this electricity I feel when we touch."
I couldn't think when he was touching me. This conversation required my full concentration if I wasn't going to spout out something that would embarrass me until the end of time. After a second tug, he released my hand, though reluctantly, and it fell back to my side.
"There isn't anything beguiling, interesting, or even totally unusual about me. Even as a vampire, I'm dreadfully boring. I go to school, I come home and take care of my dad, I do my homework, and then I putter around my room reading until it's time to go back to school again," I insisted. I was sure the more he knew me, the less interesting I would become, especially over time. I ignored that he felt the same tingle I did; I couldn't handle that right now. It was too much.
He looked back at me in surprise and then started to chuckle softly to himself.
"Quite the opposite," Edward insisted, just his voice alone was enough to dazzle me, and I had to struggle not to succumb to its effect on me. "I find you endlessly appealing. You are so strong, Bella. It's not just that you are succeeding at something none of us thought was even possible, but you really don't see how utterly unique you are in so many other ways."
"I'm just me," I insisted, trying to combat the confusion that his words created.
"No, Bella, I am discovering that you are not just anything." He looked like he wanted to reach for my hand again and I took a step back from him.
He was being direct, perhaps honest, but I had no idea how to respond to it. He was right; he did affect me. Still, it was just this afternoon that he all but dragged me out of biology to an awkward confrontation in the parking lot and then an even more awkward and uncomfortable meeting with his family where I had to disclose some of my deepest and most uncomfortable secrets. It seemed terribly fast for his opinion of me to change. Could you really go from hate to affection in the space of a single day?
Immediately, he backed off, letting me have my space. He was no longer pressing me to accept what he was trying to say. Instead, he gave me another one of his crooked smiles, this one apologetic.
"Let's get you home," he finally said as he took several steps toward our destination. "I'll leave you there while I run home. I need to change before school tomorrow."
I took several steps in the same direction and then started running again.
"You're going to leave me alone?" I was surprised enough to question him.
"You haven't shown any of the usual markers for loss of control even when you were hunting. I think you'll be just fine until school starts. We'll meet you in the parking lot before first period," he assured me, his tone now confident that I'd be all right without him.
I wasn't so sure, but not for the same reasons he'd given. "All right," I agreed, though I am sure my tone revealed my shock and surprise.
"Besides, Alice called when you were with your dad. She told me that I was fussing too much. She's absolutely confident in you, you know," his tone was amused. "I still think I'll keep you company."
That downright shocked me, and I came to a surprised stop on Charlie's back lawn. We were back, and I was staring at him in surprise again.
"I thought that was the whole reason you were babysitting me. Alice wasn't sure I wouldn't lose it." I was stunned. If Alice was sure of me, why did I need a constant companion? Not that I objected to Edward, honestly. But Alice was the one who suggested that Edward shadow me!
He shrugged, shaking his head slightly. "Bella, Alice sees the future based upon the decisions that people make. A sudden change of mind changes that future. It doesn't hurt to be sure. You don't want to slip up on Charlie or on someone at school. Its better to be safe."
That mollified me slightly. I didn't want to think that Charlie was in such desperate danger from me. I knew I was a monster now, and he was right that it didn't hurt to be safe. I nodded in understanding and then walked over to the tree that sat just outside my bedroom window. I could jump directly onto the roof, but in case I was overseen, scaling a tree was much less suspicious. He stopped me with a hand on my arm before I could grab onto the tree and I glanced at him in question.
He offered me a cell phone, a small silver rectangle that reminded me of his car -- sleek and modern. It was sitting on the palm of his hand.
"In case you need one of us. I thought it might help you feel more confident if you could reach us at a moment's notice," he explained.
It seemed strange to me that they kept around activated phones with unique numbers. My look must have communicated something to Edward because he shrugged. "Alice." As if this should explain everything? Hmm, perhaps it did.
I wanted to refuse. Not because he wasn't right, he was. But it was so hard for me to accept this. A phone was an expensive thing and having his family at my beck and call was so intrusive. They can't really want be available to me all the time, especially Rosalie. I think she hated me. He seemed to realize my hesitation and then reached for my hand again, lifting it up so that he could drop the phone into my palm.
"Bella, I really think you'll be fine, but it doesn't hurt to have a lifeline, and honestly, Alice needs a way to get in contact with you quickly," Edward's tone was reassuring, and the smooth tone of it dazzled me again. "We all have to be ready for her to call when she has a vision."
He knew just what to say to make me accept the idea even if I was uncomfortable with it. If it was for me, it was too much. If it was for Alice and the safety of my family and theirs, it wasn't too much to ask. I would take the phone and be available if they needed me. I just nodded and curled my fingers around it and then pulled my hand from his and edged the phone into my pocket.
"I'll see you at school. Don't hesitate to call if you need me before then. My phone is number one on the speed dial." He took several steps back as I scaled the tree and slid open my window.
"Bella," he said softly from the ground. I heard him easily and turned back to see what he wanted before I climbed into my window.
"Everything will be all right," he said after the briefest hesitation, and I nodded to him before I climbed into my room.
As I turned to close the window, my eyes were irresistibly drawn to where he had been standing on the grass below. He was already gone.
