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Chapter 8- Words Only Said To You.

He breathed the words out into her hair, and her body tensed when she realized that he was standing behind her, whispering in her ear, rather than talking through the phone.

Andy spun around; her face was covered in shock and terror when she finally looked at him. Her hand dropped to her side, an indication that she knew that it was pointless holding Luke's phone to her ear anymore.

"What?" Her voice trembled as she asked the one worded question, in response to the command Sam uttered in her ear.

"I said I want a goodbye kiss".

Where the hell he sucked that out from, he had no idea, but he went with it. If he had to say goodbye, it would be on his own terms, and even though it scared the crap out of him, one last chance to really call her out on her feelings that way wasn't going to be missed.

"Why would you even say that?" She was still in denial that she had even heard him say that. Her hand held onto Luke's phone so tightly that her knuckles began to turn white.

"That's what I want…one last kiss. You're leaving, right? So it shouldn't matter".

Andy seemed to pale under his gaze, her flushed color seeping away as it drained from her face.

"Is that a problem, McNally?"

"You don't get to do this now". Andy hissed under her breath, as she stepped into Sam's personal space; her eyes flashed with a fire that had been missing for too long.

"Do what?"

"This…" Andy said, waving her hand around.

"Andy, the only thing I'm doing here is trying to make you miss your plane…trying to make you stay". She didn't miss the agony that was so evident when he spoke, as it had pieces of her heart slightly chipping away.

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Why would you want to leave again?" Sam countered.

"Because of this…" Andy fluttered her hand around in the air between them. "This is why I can't stay, because it's too hard, Sam".

"What's so hard about it?" Sam tried to keep his voice from rising, noticing a few passersby looking in their direction.

"I can't do this anymore. I've tried, believe me, but if that didn't work, then there is no hope that it will ever work".

She was talking in riddles; Sam's mind heard her words, but was not formulating them into any kind of logical sense.

"Andy, slow down. I don't get it".

"You, Sam. You act like I don't exist. After spending six months of my life trying to prove to you that I can do this, you still don't get it. After being extra careful and coming home in one piece, you couldn't even look at me. You know what, I'm done waiting, I'm done hoping, and I'm done being heartbroken". Her voice had risen before dropping an octave, as her crushed emotions wrapped themselves around her words.

"It's over". She slammed Luke's phone into Sam's hand; her feet spun her around before carrying her away from Sam as he watched her go.

His mind was reeling - had she really just said that she took the first UC so that he would notice her? See that she could do this job and survive?

"Andy!"

Sam went after her and caught up just as she reached the departure gate to her flight.

"Don't, okay?" Andy said, swinging her bag up onto the x-ray machine, as she handed her ticket to the woman behind the counter.

"You don't need to do anything to make me notice you. I can't do anything but notice you when you're around. I was stupid, and I made a mistake, okay? I'm sorry, I never meant..."

"To hurt me?" She said the words at the same time Sam did. As the spectacle unfolded, the attention of the people standing near them became totally focused on Sam and Andy.

"Well, you did. I'm not saying that I wasn't to blame too, but it's time to face the fact that we will never work".

Andy handed her boarding pass to the security guy at the gate and stepped through it, knowing that once she did, Sam wouldn't be able to follow.

The tall security guy, with his table top haircut, eyed Sam before looking at Andy and back to Sam.

Sam stood there with his hands jammed into his pockets and looked around; he refused to settle his gaze on her and watch her walk away. But a few seconds later, a heavy sigh escaped him, as he made up his mind to make one last attempt to stop her.

"I didn't get my goodbye kiss!" Sam yelled after her. Her feet took a few hesitant steps as her stride faltered, but she still didn't stop. He would never make it in time if he rushed to the ticket counter and bought a ticket to get through the gate, so he had no other choice - he had to stand and watch her leave.

A tap on his shoulder made him turn around, only to find Oliver standing behind him, shoving a piece of paper into his face.

"Payback". Oliver smiled, as Sam took hold of the paper and discovered it was a ticket to Mexico.

"I owe you one, brother," Sam said, before racing off towards the ticket counter just as the last boarding call was announced.

Sam grabbed his boarding pass and sped towards the gate, the alarm sounding as he stepped through.

He backed up and pulled out his badge and gun. He was about to hand them to security when Oliver's hand appeared, his badge held up in the other, so security wouldn't think that he was about to shoot up the airport.

Sam stepped through the metal detector again; this time, no sound of warning rang out, so he took off down the hallway.

He spotted Andy with her head dipping forwards as she carried on walking, and her shoulders slumped in defeat.

Her hand was holding onto her backpack, the only luggage she still had with her.

Picking up his pace, Sam moved past her and stopped; her head dashed up as she noticed his presence.

"How...?"

"Oliver bought me a ticket".

Andy tried to step around Sam, but he wouldn't allow her to break free. He moved to stand in front of her as she stepped side to side.

"Please just listen…you owe me that much".

"Seriously?" Andy's voice dripped in sarcasm; she was having a Gail moment, but she really didn't care.

"Please, I need to do this." Sam wasn't beyond begging this time around. He'd screwed up enough to know that if he let her walk away, he would never forgive himself.

Andy let out a loud sigh, her arms crossing over her chest, as Sam shifted around waiting for her to let him have his say.

"I'm sorry. I never should have let you go, or hurt you like that. When Jerry died, I felt like a piece of me died, and when I thought about how close it was to being you, I got scared. I once told Jerry that I was scared to be with you, but when he died, I was scared of losing you". Sam's voice faded to a husky tone as his words weakened.

"I told him that you made me think about the more that there was to life, but I made a mistake in telling him that. I should have told you. I don't do the whole relationships thing well, but with you, I didn't have to do anything. It was just like it came naturally".

Sam stopped; his eyes were trying to gouge a reaction from her, but he wasn't getting much.

"I don't need you to do this for me to notice you…I don't need you to feel like you need to do this to prove something…I just need you".

Sam saw the realization flash through her eyes at his words. She had been assuming that he wanted to stop her from leaving because he felt guilty, not because he wanted her to stay.

"I've been in love with you all along, so I want you to stay? I want us to have a shot at making this work. But I don't want to hold you back. If you really want to do this, if you really want to go, then I won't stop you. But I want you to know it's not what I want".

Andy's mouth dropped open, forming the shape of an O. Her eyes flexed a little wider as he continued his speech, the honesty breaking through her walls.

"I should have said it sooner; I should have said it more. But I couldn't. Even though I meant it when I said it when you were holding the grenade, I just didn't know if it was still there from you". Sam was being brutally honest. He knew he crushed Andy…he'd seen it in her eyes and written all over her face. He really didn't expect her to still feel anything for him after that, but he had to try.

"When you came home, it was like the universe had its own plan. I wasn't expecting you to be there, you just were. And I wanted nothing more than to just reach out to you, but I couldn't. Not until you decided you were ready. Not until you gave me some kind of sign that you wanted me too, but you didn't. So I just kept waiting. On the John sweep, when you got hurt, I realized that waiting wasn't working for me anymore, but you needed the time and space, so stupidly, I let you have it".

Andy had yet to utter a word. She had stood silently and listened to Sam talk and talk, her mind flying at warp speed in an attempt to wrap itself around what she was hearing.

"Sam, this wasn't just on you… it was me, too. I didn't give you space when you needed it. I was the one that gave you the ultimatum that night, that if you walked away, we were over. I walked away when you finally got yourself together, because I didn't want to be the girl that hangs up her cuffs when she failed". Andy finally found her voice, but her words did little to reassure Sam of anything other than the fact that she had something to say.

"When you walked in when I was holding onto the grenade, I was so scared and so happy at the same time. I was scared that we would both end up dying, but when you put your hands over mine and told me you love me, it was like all the fear and all the heartache just disappeared for those few seconds". Andy looked over Sam's shoulder, noticing the air hostess waiting at the end of the hallway with her hand on the door handle as she leered at them.

"I had been waiting to hear those words for nearly four years Sam, four years, and you finally said them because you thought I was going to die…then you covered it up with the number of bones the human body has. Who does that?"

"It's the only time I've ever said them". Sam mumbled, guilt lacing his voice at knowing she was right.

"What?"

"It's the only time I have ever said them to another human being other than Sarah or my mother".

His words left Andy reeling in shock.

"Ever?"

"One and only, I swear".

That…she didn't know how to handle. She had somehow assumed that Sam had said them to someone along the lines in his life, but hearing that he hadn't, just left her speechless.

"Andy, I've only ever said them to you, because I've only ever loved you enough to say them. I still love you; even though I don't have the right to, I do. Nothing will ever change that".

Wow.

He just had the knack of stealing her breath away, making her heart do flutters and turning her insides out.

Someone clearing their throat drew both their gazes to the air hostess that now neared them, with a disapproving look on her face as she approached.

Security lingered behind them on the other side, a smile worn by the guy that had stopped Sam earlier.

"Officers Swarek and McNally, right?" His voice boomed when he was close enough.

Sam nodded, and Andy tried to keep her face from breaking out in a grin, their reputations preceding them to airport security.

"Boarding passes, please," the security guy demanded, holding out his hand.

Sam and Andy both handed theirs over, the security guard following through, taking them by tearing them up.

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