I Want to Believe in Us

Chapter 8: A new case

A week later

Scully drives home, Agent Drummy is looking for Mulder, the x files are coming back, is this good news or really bad news, if the FBI wants his help is his way out of the house, she doesn't wanna see him there all the time, but she doesn't want him obsessed again, she gets down of the car and opens the metal gate, if everything gets better they should get rid of that gate, it's becoming heavier with time. She continues driving up the long track to the house. She has to tell him, maybe this is good, maybe he can really help them.

She enters the house, undoes her coat leaving her bag in a table, then goes into Mulder's "office" and he is sitting there with his back to the door 'What's up, doc?' he says without turn around, she looks at the room putting her hands on her coat pockets 'You've become awfully trusting Mulder, for a man wanted by the FBI' he tries to smile listening to her 'Eyes in the back of my head, Scully. "Auf einer Wellenlänge", as the Germans say. It's a precognitive state often confused with simple human intuition, in which the brain perceives the deep logic underlying transitory human existence, unaided by the conscious mind, materializing much as you did just now' he turns in the chair to look at her 'Though if you'd actually materialized, you'd be rapidly de-materializing. But who believes that crap anymore?' she makes a funny face, he stands smiling 'Well, they do at the FBI apparently. I had a visitor today, Mulder. The FBI want your help finding a missing agent' he walks towards a wall and pins a newspaper article on a board 'Well, I hope you told them go screw themselves'

Here it goes, how can she convince him, after all the pain, after all the stress, after being hiding for years, this was a bad idea 'They say all is forgiven. That they'll drop all charges against you if you come in and help them solve this case' she knows it doesn't sound right but what can sh do about it? Nothing, he turns to look a her in disbelief 'The FBI will forgive me. They put me on trial on bogus charges and tried to discredit a decade of my work, they should be asking me for my forgiveness, Scully' he is so right and she sighs 'I think they are... Desperately' he looks at her, she is struggling, same as he is, so he tries to be a little friendly 'How can I possibly help these people?' he says while sitting again 'Someone's come forward with some promising evidence. A psychic, he claims' that's maybe funnier for her that it is for him 'It's a trick, Scully, to smoke me out' she raises an eyebrow trying to lie to herself and to him 'Mulder, if the FBI wanted to get you, I have no doubt that they could. I think they've just been happy to have you out of their hair' that surprises him, last week she was worried they were going out for her birthday, what made her change her mind 'Oh good, because I am just as happy having them out of mine' he is lying too, this was definitely a bad idea 'A young agent's life is at stake. Mulder, I know I don't have to say this , but it could have been you once, or me. You know, the truth is, I worry about you, and the effects of long-term isolation' he chuckles, she is telling the truth again and yes, her worries are true, she has been worried about him for a long time now 'I'm fine here. Happy as a clam' he says while biting a sunflower seed, Scully looks up at the pencils on the ceiling 'I'll tell them your answer' she leaves the room closing the door behind her, Mulder looks at the closed door on which there are many press cuttings, plus a photograph of young Samantha, his reason to investigate, his entire life, Scully maybe is right 'Shit' he has to do it, his duty is to save people, he stands and opens the door 'Okay, I'll go…' she smiles a little 'Under one condition' she sighs to his last words, that only means one thing, and she can't do it 'Oh no Mulder, you know I can't, that isn't my life anymore, I have a job' he walks closer to her and puts a hand on her shoulder 'I can't go alone Scully, you are my partner, and always will be' she denies with her head closing her eyes 'Please Mulder, I…' she opens her eyes and looks into his eyes 'I can't, I had enough' he turns and puts his hand on his waist thinking, then turns again to look at her, she is frowning 'Scully, I need you… and you they came to you' she raises an eyebrow and sighs 'That's not fair, they don't know how to reach you, and they didn't ask for me'

She sits in the coach reclining her head back, he goes and sits next to her, her eyes are closed so he leans down to her and kiss her lips 'I need support here Scully, I know you have a job and a new life, but you wanna help me right? You just have to come and see with me what's going on, then you can go back, just… just don't leave me alone' she sighs and holds his hand 'You can be a blackmailer, you know?' he laughs and take her hand to his lips and kiss it, she keeps her gaze on him 'Alright, I'll go with you, but if this seems silly, don't expect me to stay, understood?' he nods and leans down to kiss her again, this time she kiss him harder.

This situation scares her, when he starts something he doesn't leave until he finishes it, always putting his own life in danger, she is afraid to lose him, she has never liked the idea of him being locked up, but to return to the FBI and start investigating, obsessing again with the x files, it's so unexpected, it is difficult for her and she can not deny it 'promise me that if you stay to investigate, you will be careful ... promise me Mulder' he looks at her with tenderness, all this must be difficult for her, he still doesn't know how she gathered the courage to tell him, she could have simply not done it, almost six years without contact with the FBI, two years without seeing Skinner, seven years without the x files, she must be afraid, and the truth is that he is also afraid, what if he is no longer good for that? What if he already lost his touch? He must promise, he owes it to her 'I promise'.