Author's Note: So as of now... I'm trying to keep this story as a T rating, but seeing how much fun I had writing the Elle/Reid scene (which is now up, go check it out if you wanna. It's called Derailed and it's rated M (duh.)) this story will probably end up turning M too, so meh. But even it does, I'll make the M-stuff it's own chapter and not necessary to read with big warnings so if y'all who don't wanna read the dirty parts, lol, can skip over that without too much trouble and still enjoy the story. Also! This part has the scene from Hollow (from the original DB Elle/Morgan stuff) in it. I really loved that scene and I didn't want to take it out, but I think it fits better now? I don't know you can be the judge of that. Enjoy, mi amors.
They had spent the weekend in each other's company. Elle wakes to see the man asleep next to her, sheet barely covering his hips. She smirks, he had definitely proven that he was giving. She watches as his eyes flutter open. He gives her a tired, satisfied smile.
"Hey." He leans over to kiss her shoulder as she ruffles his hair.
"Spencer… you know that this isn't…I mean we aren't a couple or anything now, right?"
He looks at her confused before his mind catches up. "Yeah, of course."
Elle nods and kisses him. "Good, because I didn't want you to think…."
"No. no. Actually, there are very few animals that are monogamous and humans alone aren't supposed to be, because the women only produce so many eggs that having multiple partners -"
She kisses him to shut him up, only pulling back when she knows he's not going to finish his little speech. She pulls back and he licks his lips.
"I understand." He says and she nods before getting up.
"You hungry?" She says, pausing at the door. She can see that his eyes are nowhere near her face and smirks at his outright stare. "Spencer…"
He raises his eyes slow. "What?"
"Food. You want some?"
He furrows his brow. "You're going to cook naked. That's not very safe."
She laughs. "Do you want something to eat or not?"
"Yes, yes, please."
Deal Breaker || Breaking the Cycle || Chapter Eight
She catches the two men's conversation about late nights and hopes that Spencer doesn't spill their little secret. Luckily, he doesn't. He mentions nightmares and she frowns before making her way into the room. They have a case, she can't continue to snoop.
Throughout the case, Derek keeps giving her strange looks, as if he knows something. She guesses she doesn't hide it very well. She did choose to wear something more revealing than usual to tease with the younger man and she did touch the genius a little more than usual. She almost thinks that Derek tells Gideon and Hotch about the nightmares just to mess with the man, but she doesn't think Derek is that much of ass. At least she hopes he isn't.
By the end of the case, Derek and Spencer seem closer than ever and she's glad that they two got over whatever the reason that might have caused the tension. She makes her way up to the BAU after the case. She decides to bring some case files home, maybe she can get Spencer to read them and summarize for her so she doesn't have to spend tomorrow stuck in the never-ending pile.
"You fucked him." She turns to see Morgan.
"Excuse me?"
"You had sex with Reid." he clarifies and she sighs.
"So?"
"So, I thought you and I had this talk."
"No. We agreed he was 24 and that was about the end of conversation. I know how old he is and believe me, the age thing… has it's advantages." She winks.
He glares. "You can't use him, Elle."
"I'm not using him, Derek. He's a big boy. He knows what he's doing." She smirks. "In more way than one."
"Will you stop that!" He growls. She laughs, leaning against her desk, looking at him.
"You are jealous, aren't you?" She smirks. She changes tactics from last time. "You want to fuck him, Derek? Is that it?"
He steps towards her. "I'm not gay."
She doesn't flinch. She knows Derek would never touch her. She presses up against him. "It's not that big of a deal, Derek. I mean… The gang might be a little surprised, finding out you've never even slept with a woman, but -"
"I'm not gay!" He yells.
She looks up at him. "Then…?"
"Then what? Just because I didn't want to sleep with you doesn't mean I'm gay or there's something wrong with me, Elle."
"You're right. If you had just turned me down. But you didn't. You had me half-naked, willing and wanting and you freaked out. You know that means, Derek? Means something caused you to freak out and it wasn't me, so what was it?"
He glares. "Don't profile me, Elle."
"And I think that it had something to do with something happened to you as a child. Probably pre-pubescent or during puberty. And by the way you reacted to being gay, I assume it was a man. But regardless, abuse like that changes how you think about sex. It becomes wrong and dirty and not something you can do to someone you care about. It's a necessity to how your body reacts and you do it to get rid of that reaction and that's all. So when you had me in clutches, you realized that I was team mate and you had to care about me. You couldn't do something like that to me. It's why you're so pissed off that I'm having sex with Reid, because you think that I'm hurting him, but baby," She smirks, "he's in anything but pain when he's with me." She winks and pushes against him, grabbing the files off her desk.
"You don't know anything." he calls out as she begins to walk away. He sounds angry. "You don't know anything." His tone changes. It's almost pained. She turns around to look at him.
"Then tell me instead of just getting pissed of, Derek." She stares at him, giving him a chance to not be an ass before she walks out of the BAU. She had tried to get him to open up and instead he had continued to stay locked up and angry about it. She wasn't going to deal with anymore. She enjoyed her job, she enjoyed the friendships she had made already. She didn't need to be closer to Derek than they were. She was done trying to get him to be her friend.
He breathes through his nose, but he doesn't say anything. She watches him before shaking her head.
"Exactly what I thought." Elle says before moving towards the elevator.
Deal Breaker || Breaking the Cycle || Chapter Eight
Spencer had agreed to her suggestion of him reading her files, making a comment about how half the files would end up on his desk if he didn't. He was right; she'd slip as many as she could onto his desk during his coffee breaks whether he helped her or not. It was his fault for telling them about his ability to read that fast. They work until late that night and he leaves around 10 to do 'errands', he calls them, but she thinks that he just wants some alone time. She was learning that he was like that, whether if it was a group of twenty or two, he needed to get away to be by his self. She continues to work on some of the files, in a rhythm and not wanting to break it. She didn't want to end up thinking about Derek. She knows that she had pushed hard with the man and wondered if it was really because she was worried about him and not selfish reasons. He had turned her down, was she just looking for an excuse that something was wrong with him when there really wasn't anything there? God, she hoped she wasn't that much of a bitch. She sighs, closing the file in front of her. She needed a drink. She got up and grabbed her coat, making her way to the bar.
She wants to laugh when she sees Derek sitting here, nursing a drink. It doesn't look like his first either. She breathes out and sits next to him.
"Hey." She says softly.
He barely acknowledges her.
"I'm sorry about what I said. I was angry."
"You were right. It wasn't my dad though. My dad was good man." He says, looking in his glass. "It was my coach."
She breathes out, unsure of what to say. He had just mentioned that she was right. He just admitted to being molested. The next thing she says could have an affect over everything and she's speechless. She wishes she had ordered a drink first, because she could use one now. She breathes out, looking back at him. He had just admitted his biggest secret. He needed support.
"Derek." She reaches out and grabs her hand.. "It's okay."
"It is not okay." He says it's loud and she understands he's hurting. He tugs his hand away before he turns to face her, feeling the bar patrons' eyes on them. He lowers his voice before he speaks again. "It is not okay and if you tell anyone, ANYONE, I swear, Elle…I…." He clenches his jaw before getting up and walking out the door.
"Derek." She calls after him, following him.
He doesn't say anything. He just keeps walking.
"Derek." She says, getting in front of him.
"I wasn't saying that it wasn't a big deal. It is a big deal, but I'm… It doesn't change things between us."
He snorts before he glares. She knows that it changes everything for him, but it doesn't give him the right to just walk away.
She puts her hands on his chest. "Derek, stop! You stubborn asshole, I'm trying to tell you that I understand."
"You understand? You. Understand? What? Because your two years in sex crimes, you understand right? I'm just like all the other people that walked into your life, all fucked up because someone touched them, right? Because you were able to figure out my secret? Well, I 'm not. I'm not like that, Elle. And I won't be treated like a victim, do you understand me?"
"You are a victim, Derek."
He snarls at her, moving past her.
"Whatever happened to you wasn't your fault."
He turns, his eyes blazing.
"You don't think I know that? I didn't ask him to touch me, I didn't ask for him…" He pauses, his anger fading into something else. "For him to make me…." His jaw clenches after his emotions choke his words. He can't voice the words and she understands. She wouldn't be able to say it either. She reaches out to him, nervously, not wanting to make the situation worse again. She feels him completely tense up, but he doesn't move. She wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him close. She doesn't know what to say to him. She can't use the training she has with him. He knows all the tricks and the trades. He knows all that already, so she just holds on to him, letting him know someone's there. She holds him close and when his arms wrap around her, she breathes out, hoping she's helped more than hurt.
