A/N: Hey, Sorry it took so long to get this up I was on holidays! I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and that you like the chapter
Note: For the phone call, Nathan is in Italics, and Haley's just normal. That way i don't have to keep writing Nathan/Haley said after every reply :D
Enjoy!
8. I'm Begging You, To Let Me In.
*April 18th, 2010*
Nathan and Haley had been dating for almost a month now. They were growing closer and their relationship was developing emotionally, physically however..They had hit a wall.
Haley had wanted to wait a little while until their relationship had progressed and Nathan was fine with that. But now, when she was ready to finally tell him about her past and move forward to that next step, it felt like he was avoiding her.
He had been making trips down to Tree Hill every weekend, with the excuse that he promised Karen he'd 'check in' often.
Haley was panicking. Was he getting bored of waiting? Was he getting what she wouldn't give him from someone in Tree Hill? She knew that Nathan wouldn't cheat, but she couldn't help her mind from going to the worst places.
She groaned as she walked into her dorm room and flopped down on her bed.
She lay there for a few minutes with her eyes closed, enjoying the peace and quiet. That was until her phone started ringing. Haley blindly felt around her bag next to her and grabbed her phone, tapping her screen until she finally hit the green answer button.
"Hello?" she said
"Hi Baby" Nathan's voice crooned, Haley's eyes opened wide
Haley felt her heart skip a beat "Hi" she whispered
Nathan chuckled "I miss you so much Hales, you have no idea"
"Well maybe you shouldn't leave every weekend"
she felt her agitation at Nathan's silence "I wish I could, but Karen really needs my help around the house"
"I thought the reason was that you were supposed to be checking in"
"It is" he stumbled "It's just Keith's hurt his back recently and so he's struggling with some of the maintenance around the house so I told him while I'm down here I'll help out with it"
Haley sighed internally. Nathan wasn't being completely honest with her, she could tell. But she hoped that when he was ready he would tell her. Hopefully.
"So, how's Tree Hill?" she asked changing the topic
"really good, I've missed being able to come to the rivercourt every morning"
"We've only been in college a few months Nathan"
He chuckled "Yeah, I guess I just never really appreciated it enough you know?"
Haley sighed "Yeah. I know" she thought of her brother
"Everything okay?" he asked concerned
"Yeah, but I do need to talk to you when you get back"
"You're kinda scaring me here Haley" Nathan replied nervously
"It's nothing bad I promise. I just, need to get some things out in the open before we move forward. okay?"
"okay" just then haley heard a yell in the background
"Daddy come play with us!"
Haley frowned "Daddy?" she asked
She heard Nathan's nervous chuckled "uh yeah, Keith's here too. I was playing with Lilly, Lucas' younger sister, and her friend when I called you. I guess she's trying to recruit Keith now I'm busy"
"Oh, ok" she said in reply. An awkward silence overtook them.
Nathan sighed heavily "Hey, I'll call you later tonight and let you know about all my flight details for tomorrow ok?"
"Sure. Bye Nathan"
"Bye Hales, take care"
Haley hung up her phone and tossed it back on the bed.
"Haley!" Lucas yelled in her face. Haley looked up surprised as she took in the sight of Lucas, Jake, Peyton and Brooke all looking at her with concerned faces. "Have you hear anything we've said the past ten minutes?" He asked
Haley smiled sheepishly "sorry, my mind's somewhere else i guess" she replied. Nathan had called a half hour ago to confirm his flight back to Duke; their conversation had been awkward and stiff, something unusual for the couple.
Jake frowned "That's not like you, what's going on buddy?"
"I think Nathan's hiding something from me" she said.
Lucas, Brooke and Peyton all looked at each other with the same look on their face, a look that did not go unseen by Haley and Jake.
"He is isn't he?" she said looking a Brooke, who nodding guiltily "Oh god" she shook her head, feeling tears brim her eyes.
"It's not what you're Haley. Nathan will tell you, I promise. It just takes him some time to trust people, and he doesn't want them to bear the weight of his past if they don't need to"
Haley shook her head, but her eyes were glazed over. She was trying desperately to hold in her tears as different ideas popped into her head. She stood up suddenly and walked over to Jake's front door, grabbing her coat and slipping on her shoes.
"Where are you going?" Peyton asked
Haley just shrugged "I just need some time to think" she replied as she opened the door to leave. she stopped short and turned around "Hey Luke, how's Keith?"
Lucas frowned "He's fine. I spoke to him this morning when Nathan called, I think he said he was moving Lilly's new bed into her room or something?" he replied
Haley tried to ignore the sting in her heart knowing that Nathan hadn't been honest with her. She plastered a smile on her face.
"I'll see you guys later" she said before walking out the door.
"Okay, what the hell was that all about?" Jake said when the door had shut.
Peyton just looked at her boyfriend and started to explain everything.
*April 19th, 2010*
Haley stood in the North Carolina Domestic Airport. She was waiting just outside the gate Nathan said he would be at, bouncing nervously from foot to foot. She had no idea how to act around him. Brooke had said that what he needed to tell her wasn't bad, but her words from the night before kept biting at Haley's subconscious.
It just takes him some time to trust people
It hurt her that Nathan didn't trust her. They were together, at least she thought they were. They had agreed that fateful night at the party that this relationship was heading down the boyfriend-girlfriend path. But they never really discussed it after that.
Maybe now was that time.
Haley was broken out of her thoughts as she saw Nathan appear from the gate. His face broke out into a bright smile when he saw her, and she braced herself as he sped towards her dropping his bag off his shoulder and sweeping her up in his arms and kissing her.
Haley let herself melt into him, into their kiss. They broke apart after a few minutes and Nathan put her back down on the ground his arms still wrapped around her waist. They both had their foreheads touching as they regained their breath
"Hi" he whispered
"Hi" she breathlessly replied "that was one hell of a welcome home"
Nathan chuckled "tell me about it"
He kissed her once more before leaning down and picking up his bag, placing the strap over his left shoulder and across his body so the bag rested at his right hip. He wrapped his left arm around Haley, kissing the top of her head
"Let's get out of here shall we?" he said, to which Haley simply nodded as they walked out of the airport.
Nathan and Haley sat on the couch in Nathan and Lucas' living room watching a Friends Re-run marathon. Haley had her head resting under Nathan's chin, half her body on top of his stretched out along the couch while the other half was tucked between Nathan's side and the backrest of the couch.
Nathan's phone buzzed on the coffee table, he reached out to get it and Haley froze as she saw the name. Maddie
Nathan stood up, oblivious to Haley having seen "Hey I'll be right back I have to take this" he walked to his bedroom and shut the door.
Haley felt tears prick in her eyes. Maybe she was wrong. Her and Nathan hadn't been official, maybe he was still weighing up his options?
Haley felt like she couldn't breathe. Maybe Brooke was lying to her as well, after all her and Nathan were practically family. Why wouldn't she help protect him?
She felt like she was suffocating. She quickly grabbed her shoes from beside the couch and started putting them on before grabbing her jumper and slipping it on as well. Nathan emerged from his bedroom just as she was standing up
"You going somewhere?" he said, stopping short as he saw the tears filling up in her eyes "Haley what's-"
"You know I thought you were different" she cut him off "Brooke and Peyton, they told me you were a god guy. Even Luke and Jake vouched for you. Jake told me I should take a chance, that you were nothing like him. But you're exactly like him aren't you? I'm an idiot" she muttered the last bit to herself as she looked around the room, gathering up her phone and house keys.
"What are you on about Haley, what's wrong?" Nathan frowned in concern and reached out his arms, stopping when she took a further step away from him.
"Don't" she sneered "Who's Maddie?"
Nathan's eyes widened momentarily "no one" he said
Haley scoffed "that's why she just called huh?" she shook her head in frustration "If you didn't want to be with me all you had to do was say so, you don't need to keep some thing on the side and lie to my face about it" She replied feeling the anger surfacing.
Nathan felt his own anger building up inside of himself "What the fuck makes you think I'm cheating on you!? You're my girlfriend Haley I would never do that to you!" he yelled
"How am I supposed to know I'm your girlfriend!? You never said anything after that night! You've got girls calling you late at night, you're leaving me in the middle of a movie to answer them, you're gone every weekend and you don't seem to mind the fact that we're not having sex!" she yelled right back at him
"I didn't mind because you said you weren't ready, and I didn't want to push you!" He felt the frustration building up in him
"I don't get why you can't just be honest with me Nathan!" she sighed in frustration
Nathan rolled his eyes "you're one to talk"
"Excuse me!?" she spat
Nathan looked her dead in the eyes "You never talk to me about anything real Haley! You clam up at the mention of your past. Of your brother, of your past relationships. Every time I try to get to know who you are you put up these walls, and I'm trying so damn hard to get past them but you don't want to let me in" his voice had lowered now, his hurt clearly displayed "You're not honest with me. You don't trust me" he whispered
"I told you I wanted to talk to you when you got back Nathan" Haley replied, feeling her earlier anger and frustration dissipate "I wanted to tell you everything, because I wanted to show you that I do trust you. That I want you to know everything, because I want to let you in. and that scares the living shit out of me Nathan. I've built up those walls because it's the only way to protect my heart, and you're the first guy in a long while that I know could shatter it into a million pieces" she said finally letting the tears fall from her eyes.
Nathan was astounded by her declaration. He sighed and cautiously stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Haley's shoulders and pulling her into his body as she cried. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling all the anger and frustration from before fading away, guilt replacing it. Haley was right, he had been hiding from her. Trust was a two-way street, and right now she was the only one making an effort
After a few minutes Nathan pulled back slightly and moved his hand to lift Haley's chin so she was looking right at him.
He leaned down and kissed her softly "I'm sorry" he whispered against her lips
"You have to trust me Nathan. I need you to trust me. That first moment I met you and we sat on the beach and talked; I wanted to tell you everything really I did, but that summer is hard for me to relive. It's with me everyday but talking about it-"
"I know" Nathan said quietly "You're right. I haven't trusted you. And it's not because I don't want to, I do. I've just shielded myself from everyone for so long that I don't know If I can even do this. I can see myself falling for you, Haley James, and I don't want to do something to mess that up"
"who's Maddie?" She asked quietly. She watched as Nathan opened and closed his mouth several times, as if having an internal debate as to whether or not to answer. Haley sighed sadly and leaned up to rest her head against his "If you don't start letting me in Nathan, you're going to mess this up without even trying. There's something that's stopping you from opening up to me Nathan. I told you before that I was ready to tell you everything, to take our relationship further. But not once did you say the same" she stated. Haley wiped her eyes before kissing his cheek and pulling away "I should go" she spoke quietly before walking to the door
"Haley-" Nathan started
"Call me when you're ready to let me in Nathan" She smiled sadly before opening the door and walking out, leaving Nathan staring at the doorway.
A/N: OK! Don't hate me! I was going to have them resolve everything at the end of this chapter but I'm keeping that for the next chapter instead. I did say there would be drama but it's nothing big I promise! A little fighting is healthy guys!
As always, please leave me a review and let me know what you thought. The more reviews, the faster I'll update.
- Maddie :)
