HI!! Back again...

Spizzy :--- Lolz don't worry we all have lazy days... well I do.

Carrianne:--- lolz mugs are great... even better when the PotC mugs!! Thanks.

Anon:--- Yea it got removed from the website but its back now! Johnny's ass is ok... I mean I'd squeeze it if he was within grabbing distance! Thanks.

WARNING!: THIS HAS SONGS IN THAT MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE IT IS NOT INTENTIONAL AND IF IT DOES OFFEND I AM SORRY.

Disclaimer: I own Plot and any other characters that do not appear in PotC! I don't have a new agent... but I have a rough plan of a trap that if I can lure Orlando into he will be mine!!!... I just need something to lure him in with...damn.

Cells!, songs!, VASELINE!!

.x.Rk's PoV.x.

"NO RK YOU CAN'T WRITE AN I.O.U!!! GET YOU'RE LITTLE PIRATE BUTT DOWN HERE!!!"

"Aye, Aye" I put my phone away and turned to Jack...

"Come on Rach needs us"

.x.Rach's PoV.x.

Will and I waited in the police office with Jess in a cell next to us until Rk and Jack came in...

We grabbed them and pinned them to the wall.

"Do you have any idea what we have had to put up with while she's been in there?!" Will said his eye started twitching

They shook their heads

"Listen"

"...HITLER HAS ONLY GOT ONE BALL!!! THE OTHER IS IN THE ALBERT HALL!! HIS MOTHER, THE SILLY FUC..."

"JESS!!" I yelled before she could scream anything offensive

"CHOPPED IT OFF WHEN HE WAS SMALL!!!"

"She hasn't stopped since we put here in there!" The policemen cried covering their ears trying to block Jess' 'singing'.

Jess had now picked up a metal cup and started to bang it against the bars trying to create a beat...

"SHE THREW IT INTO A BIG TALL TREE, IT ROLLED INTO THE DEEP BLUE SEA!! THE FISHES GOT THEIR DISHES AND HAD SCOLLOPS AND BOLLO..."

"JESS!!"

"FOR TEA!!!"

She stopped we all took our hands away from our ears and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey! I got a new song!!"

"O GOD!"

We all prepared for this by replacing our hands firmly over our ears.

"CHARLIE HAD A PIGOEN, A PIGOEN. CHARLIE HAD A PIGOEN, A PIGOEN THAT FLEW!!! IT FLEW IN THE MORNING, IT FLEW IN THE NIGHT AND WHEN IT CAME BACK IT WAS COVERED IN SH..."

"JESS!! STOP IT!!"

"...CHARLIE HAD A PIGOEN, A PIGEON!"

"O JUST TAKE HER PLEASE!!!"

The police had finally cracked. Jess hearing this stopped singing and stuck her head between two of the bars.

"You mean I can go?"

"Yes"

"She can go?!"

"YES! PLEASE JUST TAKE HER!!"

"WOO HOO!!"

Of course it couldn't be that simple could it?... ooo no... Jess being the spak she is tried to pull her head out of the bars but... she was stuck! She started to panic and struggle (I think she's going to rip her head off!)

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'M BEING EATEN BY A DOOR!!!!"

"O for God's sake Jess!"

"Ok! We need Vaseline!!" Rk yelled

I looked round at her and every one shook their heads

"Rk we've got a pirate, a blacksmith, 2 policemen, a bimbo with her head stuck, me who's going to have a nervous breakdown!!... And u... do we really look like the type of people who carry Vaseline about with us?!!!"

"Erm... baby oil?"

"O mi god I can't work with this!!"

"Wait!..." Will shook the bars

"...I help build these cells... with the right leverage..."

"Er...Will? We're trying to get her head out... not take the door off"

"O...Ok"

He headed over to the opposite wall looking sulky and looking and the posters.

"O....k... where were we?... o yea"

I started pushing on Jess' head with Rk pulling on her legs.

"HEY!!...OW!! I HATE YOU!!!!...HEY!! I GOT ANOTHER SONG!!!..."

"O gods Jess no please!!"

"...Ahem...DRIVING DOWN THE MOTOR WAY 64, GRANNY DID A FART AND BLEW OFF THE DOOR!..."

I looked at Rk

"Where's Jack?"

"...THE TYRES WNET 'SQUEAK' THE ENGINE FLEW APART..."

"Playing with the cop dog"

"...THAT'S WHEN GRANNY DID A SUPERSONIC..."

"O..."

"...FART!!!"

"JESS! Please your not helping!!!"

"WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO? PULL MY OWN LEG?!"

"SHUT UP MIGHT HELP!!"

"That I cannot do... the world needs to hear my angelic voice... ahem... TWO SOLIDERS IN A TANK, TABOO, TABOO. TWO SOLIDERS IN A TANK, TABOO, TABOO!! TWO SOLIDERS; ONE TO DRIVE AND ONE TO WAN..."

"JESS!! SHUT UP!!"

"TWO SOLIDERS, TABOO, TABOO, TABOOOOOOOO!!"

"THAT'S IT JESS!!!!!!"

.x.30 Minutes Later.x.

"Mmuff de muff te!!"

"Shush!!"

After getting fed up of Jess' singing we decided to take drastic action and duck tape her mouth shut. And having pulled on her legs for 20 minutes we gave up and... called the FIT FIREFIGHTERS!!!......Well saying fit they were 50 with bald spots and beer bellies!

After 10 minutes of the shaking the bars and talking in a group one of them turned to me...

"Yep her heads stuck!"

"NAH!! And I thought she was taking a nap!!" Rk scoffed

I elbowed her in the side.

"We know that but can you get her out?"

"We'll try..."

They got the Jaws of Life and started attacking the bars.

Jack and Will were back with us. Jack because the dog had bitten him and Will had got the duck tape for Jess' mouth so felt needed again.

Rk wasn't help the fire fighters as she was kneeling by Jess pulling the duck tape off and on Jess' mouth at times so we could her parts of her new song...

"On top of spaghetti all covered in cheese I lost my poor..."

"...Meatball when somebody sneezed!"

I was just sitting on a police desk and watching in amusement.

"HITLER, HAS ONLI GOT ONE BA..."

"O no..."

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Those are my favourite songs of all time!! If you don't know them don't worry... it's probably only me who is sad enough to sing them around people... lolz

Luv my reviewers loads!!!!!

Bi Bi

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