Chapter 8: Gizzogling The Lightning Theif
This is the first part of The Lightning Thief book put into Gizoogle Transizziler. To those unaware of what that is, it is a website that translates things into 'Gangster'. For me, reading the first page in 'gangster' was bad enough, but after I read it again it was kind of funny. So… here is the first page (and a half) of The Lightning Theif, gangsta style...
Chapter 1 I Accidentally Vaporize mah Pre-Algebra Teacher
Look, I didn't wanna be a half-blood.
If you're readin dis cuz you be thinkin you might be one, mah lyrics is: close dis book n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. Belive whatever lie yo' muthafathas holla'd at you bout yo' birth, n' try ta lead a aiiight game.
Bein a half-blood is dangerous. It's freaky. Most of tha time, it gets you capped up in painful, nasty ways.
If you're a aiiight kid, readin dis cuz you be thinkin it's fiction, pimped out. Read on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I envey you fo' for bein able ta belive none of dis eva happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!
But if you reconize yo ass up in these pages-if you feel suttin' stirrin inside-stop readin imeadiatly. Yo ass might be one of our asses fo' realz. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, n' they'll come fo' yo thugged-out ass.
Don't say I didn't warn yo thugged-out ass.
Hoes call me Percy Jackson.
I'm twelve muthafuckin years old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Untill all dem months ago, I was a funky-ass boardin hustla at Yancy Academy, a private school fo' shitd lil playas up in upstate New York.
Am I a shitd kid?
Yeah. Yo ass could say dis shit.
I could start at any point up in mah short misrable game ta prove it yo, but thangs straight-up started goin wack last May, when our sixth grade class took a gangbangin' feild trip ta Manhatten- 28 menstrual-case lil playas n' 2 mackdaddys up in a yellow school bus, headin ta ta Metropolitian Museum of Art ta peep a funky-ass bunch of anceint greek n' roman stuff.
(Check out / to translate anything and everything into 'gagster'! Some fun things to translate are, The entire Bee Movie script, and Twilight. Maybe some Harry Potter.)
