One week later…
"He hasn't answered the door for me at all this week, Clare." Adam explained. "I rang the bell like five times yesterday and it's not like I don't know he's in there. Where else could he go?"
"I thought I was doing the right thing, but I don't know, Adam, I feel so guilty." I stated.
Adam nodded, "He looked really upset that day, Clare. I found myself feeling bad for him. I mean he even apologized to me. I'm not even sure you made the right decision."
"I had to, Adam. Eli was going to break up with me." She whispers. "Plus, he told me that he was going to tell everyone and that you guys wouldn't be my friends and that he was going to make sure that I was ostracized for helping Fitz. I couldn't bear losing my friends over that."
"Over what?" Alli asked bouncing up to us.
I look from Adam to Alli afraid to answer the question. "Clare was tutoring Fitz for over a month and Eli found out and forced Clare to stop." Adam stated.
Alli looked shocked, "Clare-bear, you were tutoring, Fitz? Why didn't you tell me?"
I looked down, "I was afraid you wouldn't understand. Look he really has changed and I did really see a side of Fitz that was good even the night of Vegas Night. I just can't get anyone to understand. Everyone looks down on him for what he did, but Eli looks at it like he isn't to blame for anything and I mean really it was Eli who put poison in Fitz's drink. Fitz didn't even turn in Eli for doing that to him and you know maybe he should have because then Eli would have had to be held responsible for his actions too."
"And now Eli has her believing we would hate her if she continued to tutor him." Adam stated.
Alli wrapped her arm around me, "Clare, I think if you truly believe that you could help Fitz, then go and help him."
I swallowed hard, "I can't. Eli will be angry if continue to tutor, Fitz." I can even hear the sadness in my voice.
"Look, Clare, I like Eli and all but he can't control you. You aren't some character in his story that he's writing and can control." She frowned, "And I'm not going to hate you. I'll support you just like you've supported me through all the stupid decisions I have made." I looked at her offended. "I'm not saying that you tutoring Fitz is a stupid decision. What I was trying to say is that no matter what you have supported me through everything and I will do the same for you."
"Thanks, but I can't. I want to but I can't risk my relationship with Eli." I stated.
"So you would rather go on and feel guilty?" Alli asked. "Clare you need to stand up to Eli or he is just going to continue to manipulate you. I'll stand behind you and so will Adam."
"I will?" Adam asked shocked.
"Well, what do you think Eli would say if he knew it was you that's been taking Fitz's homework to him for Clare?" Alli asked. Adam didn't say anything but his answer was written on his face. "That's what I thought." Alli smiled. "So, let's come up with a plan…"
It was a Friday night and I was laying on the couch watching a movie. Another Friday night spent laying on the couch. "Six more weeks to go," I say outloud.
"What was that, honey?" My mom asked coming out of her bedroom dressed in a black dress fixing her earrings.
"Nothing just talking to myself." I state. "So where are you off to tonight?"
"Oh a friend of Joe's is having an art exhibit downtown so we're going to that and then out to dinner." She replied. I let out a sigh. "I know this is not exactly how you would choose to spend your Friday nights Mark but it'll be over soon enough."
"Yeah, I guess." I look towards the window and think about the fun I could be having if I wasn't forced to be stuck at my mother's penthouse apartment by myself. If this was months earlier I would be hanging out at the ravine with Bianca and Owen. "Looks like it's snowing." I state.
"Well, would you look at that." My mom smiled. "You know Christmas is coming in a few weeks. You haven't mentioned if there was anything you would like."
I shrug, "I hadn't really given it much thought."
"Well, why don't you think about it and let me know," she smiles and pats my shoulders. I watch her go to the coat closet and pull out a long black coat. "So I should be home around 11 or so, but if you need anything you can call my cell."
I nod and smile as she opens the door to leave, "Hey Mom."
"Yeah?"
"You look really nice tonight." I smile. "I hope you and Joe have a good time tonight. It's been a long time since you've been out."
She walked back over and leaned down and kissed the top of my head, "Thanks baby, and just so you know, I haven't minded spending time here with you." She walked to the door and turned again, "Mark, I hope you know that no matter what has happened in the past, I have always loved you." I nod not sure how to answer. She gave up waiting for one and I hear the door slowly close behind her. I sigh. I could feel the hatred towards my mother melting away but there was still so much I didn't understand about her and what had happened.
Ding dong…the doorbell snaps me out of my thoughts…I stand up and go over to answer it, "Did you for…Clare?"
"Hi." She said timidly with a big smile. I don't answer. "Look Fitz, I really owe you an apology. I shouldn't have stopped tutoring you like I did. I should have explained what was going on."
I shrug, "Honestly, Clare, I don't really care to hear some rationalization that you've come up with in order to make yourself feel better, and besides, it's not like I really cared if you tutored me or not."
She flinches, "Fitz, I understand why you are mad at me but maybe if you would just hear me out."
"Maybe," I shout and then take a deep breath and slowly let it out, "Maybe," I say quieter, "you should just leave." I turn around and go to shut the door but am stopped by her pushing the door open.
"Damn it, Fitz," I turn shocked at her swearing at me, "You need to understand what I put on the line for you. Eli found out about me tutoring you and…and…"
"And what, Clare?" I shout, "I get it you stopped coming over because you are so worried about your perfect relationship, but what I don't get is why?"
"Why what?" She asks quietly.
"Why do you let him control you like that? Why are you always so worried about him that you don't worry about your own feelings or what you want? When does Clare get to make decisions for herself?" She just stood there staring at me. "I mean, God Clare, I used to be someone with a mind of her own. You stood up to me and to so many other people but then now look at you. All you worry about is what precious Eli will say or do if you don't agree with him. It's pathetic!" I sneered.
"I know," she stated quietly looking down at the floor.
"What?"
"You're right. I used to be someone who stood up for what she believes in and lately all I have been is someone that feels the need to follow her boyfriend around like some lost puppy dog and pretend to be interested in everything that he's interested in." She looks up to me and makes eye contact. I see tears start to form and I feel bad for putting them there.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be such a jerk."
"You're not a jerk and I want to get back to being that girl that I can be proud of and that's why I am here." She smiles at the confused look on my face. "I snuck here without him knowing and I told you I would help you with your studies and I plan on seeing it through with or without Eli's knowledge or permission."
"Well, look at that, Clare Edwards, there's that rebel begging to be let out."
