Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle, and Mr. Peabody are owned by Jay Ward Productions.
Rocky: And now it's time for another Mr. Peabody episode!
Bullwinkle: That's great! Where are they going this time, Rocky?
Rocky: He said they're going to the Old West.
Bullwinkle: How is that possible? The Old West was more than a hundred years ago.
Rocky: You're kidding, right?
Bullwinkle: No. If I were kidding, I would have said we're not stuck in quicksand.
Rocky: Bullwinkle, Mr. Peabody and Sherman have the WAYBAC machine. It's a time machine. They use it in every episode to go back in time, and-
Bullwinkle: Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!
Rocky: -your attention span is terrible.
Bullwinkle: Nothin' up my sleeve, and presto!
The moose sticks his hand in the hat, but he is sucked in. Rocky looks inside the hat to find out what happened.
Rocky: Quicksand. That actually kind of makes sense.
Wells Fargo (Peabody's Improbable History)
Mr. Peabody: Hello, Peabody here. Today Sherman and I are about to witness some tales of Wells Fargo.
Sherman: But Mr. Peabody, I thought we're supposed to go on adventures about real events?
Mr. Peabody: We are not going to a Western. Wells Fargo is actually a real company. Sherman, set the WAYBAC machine for 1848 in the Old West.
Peabody Narrating: Sherman and I arrived at the correct time period, but we appeared in the middle of nowhere. We wandered, or "drifted" across the prairie. Eventually, we happened to come across a ghost town.
Mr. Peabody: This is quite a ghost town.
Sherman: You mean this place is crawling with ghosts?!
Mr. Peabody: No. A ghost town is a sparsely populated town or village. Some of them are even completely abandoned.
They search for inhabitants.
Sherman: Wow, this place is emptier than Captain Peachfuzz's head!
Mr. Peabody: Quiet, you.
Peabody Narrating: We then started to head for the soon to be headquarters of Wells Fargo. Then we were suddenly confronted by an outlaw!
Outlaw: Who in the Sam Hill are you?!?
Sherman: Uh, my name isn't Sam Hill, sir. It's Sherman. And he's Mr. Peabody.
Mr. Peabody: "Sam Hill" is an expression.
Sherman: What does it mean, Mr. Peabody?
Mr. Peabody: I'll tell you when you're older.
Outlaw: You must be drifters or somethin'.
Mr. Peabody: No, that would be a drifter.
A cowboy somehow floats past them.
Drifter: Howdy, y'all!
Outlaw: Well, I guess it don't matter who you are, just so long as you don't try to arrest me.
Sherman: Arrest you?
Outlaw: Yeah, there's a whole bunch of wanted posters of me everywhere. More than you can shake a stick at. No offence, dog.
Mr. Peabody: None taken.
Outlaw: There's one right behind you.
They turned around and see a wanted poster that says, "Wanted, Dead or Alive: Outlaw Lawson".
Mr. Peabody: No offence, but informing new acquaintances of your criminal record isn't exactly a bright idea.
Lawson: None taken.
Mr. Peabody: Do you know where we can find San Francisco?
Lawson: Sure, San Francisco is on the other side of that valley. In fact, I'm going there, too.
Mr. Peabody: Thank you, sir.
Lawson: Much obliged. Now, if you excuse me, I've got some mighty important stealin', uh, business to attend to. Hyahaha...
Peabody Narrating: Of course, Outlaw Lawson's plans were rather suspicious.
Mr. Peabody: I smell foul play, Sherman.
Sherman:Do you think he's up to something?
Mr. Peabody: Indeed. If someone concludes their statement with evil laughter, then they are most definitely up to something.
Sherman: How are we going to catch up to him?
Mr. Peabody: We'll use an iron horse.
Sherman: Huh?
Mr. Peabody: An iron horse isn't technically a horse. It is Western slang for a train or locomotive.
Sherman: Oh, that makes sense.
Peabody Narrating: On our way to San Francisco, we conveniently found a train station.
Sherman: Which is good because we're only supposed to be here for five minutes.
Mr. Peabody: Quiet, you.
Train Conductor: Howdy!
Sherman: Hi, Mr. Conductor!
Train Conductor: My name is Sam Hill, and I can take you to San Francisco.
Sherman: What does Sam Hill mean?
Sam Hill: Uh, you can find out when when you're older.
Peabody Narrating: We took the train or "iron horse" to San Francisco to establish Wells Fargo and find out what Outlaw Lawson is scheming.
Mr. Peabody: Thank you, Sam Hill.
Sam Hill: See y'all later.
Sherman: Do you think that a kid and a talking dog are weird passengers?
Sam Hill: Kind of, but my friend in Canada regularly sees a guy who ties people to railroad tracks, and a Mountie who rides his horse backwards.
Mr. Peabody: Once we arrived at our destination, we questioned the founders of the company of Lawson's whereabouts.
Henry Wells: Are you the new Sheriff and Deputy?
Sherman: No, not really.
Mr. Peabody: Sherman and I are time travellers from the future. We came here to help establish the Wells Fargo Company and arrest an outlaw.
William Fargo: Hey, that sounds like a good name for our business.
Henry Wells: Yeah, it has both of our names in it.
Sherman: So, did you see a guy named Lawson anywhere?
William Fargo: He stole all of the gold from the local bank. We're not sure where he went, but I think he said something about a sawmill.
Henry Wells: And of course, everyone is thoroughly upset about this.
Sherman: Because the gold is valuable?
Henry Wells: Yes, and the gold were really good paperweights.
Peabody Narrating: Sherman and I searched for the stolen gold in an abandoned sawmill. We were quite prepared for this because of our posse. Our "posse" consisted of a grand total of two people. To be precise, it consisted of one person and a dog. When we entered the run-down building we saw a villainous character.
Snidely Whiplash: I am going to tie Nell to a log in this sawmill! Nyahahahaha!
Peabody Narrating: Not that villainous character.
Snidely: Well, if it isn't Mr. Peabody and Sherman.
Mr. Peabody: Mr. Whiplash, this is not the Northwest region of Canada. This is San Francisco.
Snidely: Really?! Oh curses, foiled again!
He heads for a sawmill in the Northwest region of Canada.
Outlaw Lawson: That guy was creepy.
Sherman: You're under arrest, Outlaw Lawson!
Lawson: A little kid and a talking dog don't scare me one bit.
Peabody Narrating: The criminal attempted to leave or "make tracks" with the stolen gold, but he tripped and fell into a well. I promptly informed the authorities.
Mr. Peabody: Pardon me, Sheriff and Deputy, but there is a thief named Timmy, er, Lawson, who is stuck in a well.
Sheriff: That's mighty important news.
Deputy: Yeah, we have to save the paperweights.
Peabody Narrating: The authorities returned the gold to the city, and Wells Fargo was created to store the gold. This was also very helpful during the California Gold Rush, which was coincidentally discovered in the same area.
Snidely: Drat! I should have stolen some before leaving.
Sherman: Mr. Peabody, was the company really created when some guy got stuck in a well?
Mr. Peabody: No. But this alteration does result in a fitting proverb.
Sherman: What's that?
Mr. Peabody: All's well that ends well.
The End
Rocky: The next episode will be "The Quicksand and the Dead" or "That Sinking Feeling".
