Helen and Paris
A/N:
Here's my next chappie! At least it didn't take months! Thanks to Auron for the nice review! This ones for you. (P.S. I think I'm going to continue this! Thanks for the encouragement!)Awaking long before anyone else, Remus tiptoed out of his dormitory and down to the Gryffindor common room. Outside the window snow flakes were drifting to the ground, and a cold wind blew through the cracks in the window. Remus hadn't been able to sleep for several nights now. As the Christmas vacation drew nearer, Remus's restlessness and worry increased. The approach of the full moon wasn't helping things either. Something wasn't right about Jan's father. The knots in Remus's stomach told Remus that not everything was as it seemed. It was like a puzzle that someone had ripped apart and scattered everywhere. Something horrible had happened in Jan's past, Remus was sure of that. When her father visited Jan after her injury the air of distrust and skepticism were tangible. Jan also seemed very reluctant to go. She had said she wanted to go back to Montreal, but didn't want to spend time with her father. Then there were the nightmares. The problem was, how did they all fit together? Remus was sure that the picture they fit together to make, wasn't a very pretty one.
Remus mulled over his thoughts until everyone else began to awake. The air of excitement that was held by all the other students contrasted Remus's dark thoughts. Not only was it just three days until Christmas Break, it was also a trip to Hogsmeade. Remus could hear the voices of his friends drift into the common room as they made their way down the stairs.
"Hey Rem, somebody's up early," Sirius remarked.
"Yeah, I couldn't sleep."
"Going to Hogsmeade?"
"Oh, why, no Padfoot. I love to sit in this castle all by myself and do nothing. Yes, I'm going!"
"No Christmas present for you Moony."
Just as Sirius finished his comment, Jan walked into the common room dressed in red pajamas with Christmas trees on them. She was skipping and belting out a muggle Christmas song. "Deck the halls with boughs of holly fa la la la la la la la la! Tis the season to be jolly…." Sirius abruptly jumped onto the couch and finished the song for her. "FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!"
Nobody seemed to be in bad spirits, not even Jan. Soon Remus was beginning to forget about everything he was worrying about, and join in on the Christmas cheer. He may as well have fun now, because his Christmas was probably going to be spent in the hospital wing. His transformation was on the 23rd, so Christmas was not going to be very merry this year.
Soon they were on their way to Hogsmeade. Once they arrived they decided to spilt up. Jan and Lily were heading off by themselves, while the marauders went to hastily buy Christmas gifts at the last minute. They were all going to meet up at the Three Broomsticks for Butterbeer in a couple hours. Remus had been saving since October to get Jan a gift and he was determined to get a her a good one. He had already bought Christmas gifts for the marauders on their last trip to Hogsmeade, so he didn't have to worry about those. Remus coaxed James, Sirius and Peter to come with him to Lila's Jewelers before heading of to Zonko's.
"Okay guys," Remus declared, "I need to find the perfect gift…it should say 'I love you', 'your beautiful' and…"
"Alright, buy her a pile of ooey-gooey mush Rem, that should work out nicely," Sirius remarked.
"Hey Rem, what about this?" James was standing by a glass display case pointing at a very beautiful ring.
"It's a promise ring," declared the lady behind the desk. "Beautiful isn't it? Just perfect for that special someone."
It was beautiful. Three small diamonds sparkled beautifully on a white gold ring. It was breathtaking. Remus's throat literally closed off as he read the price tag. Twenty-five galleons. He didn't have enough. He only had fifteen. As always, it was James to his rescue. He quietly slipped ten galleons into Remus's hand. Before Remus could even open his mouth in protest James spoke. "She deserves it, and so do you."
"I'll pay you back James."
"You know I won't let you Moony."
Remus sighed as he paid for the ring. "I don't care James, I'm paying you back." He hated never having enough money. He hated being poor. He knew deep down inside that it was his fault too. If only he hadn't of been bitten. But he couldn't change any of that now.
After leaving the jewelers, they headed of to Zonko's. Soon it was time to meet at the Three Broomsticks. Everyone was in a good mood, as Remus had been able to shrug of his worries for a little while.
Jan was beaming. She had just bought everyone's Christmas gifts. She hoped Remus would like his. It wasn't finished yet, but she had picked up the supplies to finish it up before she left for Christmas vacation. She had done an oil painting of his hand, holding hers. In the background she had painted a crescent moon. She wasn't sure what compelled her to add a moon, it was just where her brushstrokes led her. Maybe it had to do with his nickname, Moony.
They passed the time slowly, sipping their butterbeer and enjoying the freedom of being away from Hogwarts. When the time came to make their way back to Hogwarts, the six youth took their time. The snowflakes fell around them and, of course, they could not resist throwing the occasional snowball…well, Sirius couldn't resist. As they reached the grounds, Jan asked Remus to take a walk with her. They separated from the rest and began to walk towards the lake. Jan shivered and Remus wrapped is arm around her, as if his touch alone could melt away the cold. They stopped by the lake, and his golden eyes searched her violet ones for several minutes. He knew she had something to tell him.
Eventually, Jan began. "Look Remus, I'm not gonna make it seem like my dad and I have a wonderful relationship, because we don't. I don't completely trust him." She paused, searching for what to say next. "Anyway, I just want you to know that I'm going to owl you…three days after I leave at the very latest. If you don't hear from me I want you to come looking. First check my house in London. 345 Lancewood Avenue. It's a wizard house, the only one on the block so you should be able to recognize it. Don't come alone, bring Sirius, James , and Peter at least."
"Why are you so worried? What's going on. You can tell me Jan."
"It's nothing, I just needed you to know that. Nothing will go wrong, I'll owl you, and you'll get it. Everything will be fine."
"I…I just don't want you to get hurt. You're the most amazing person I've ever met. I care about you, and I just have a bad feeling about all this. It would help if you would just let me know what's going on. I just feeling like…never mind."
Jan pulled away from his embrace, her defensive side rising. He couldn't know her secrets. He would hate her. He would think she was dirty and weak. She also had a sinking feeling about what he was about to say. "Like what, Remus?"
"Look, it doesn't matter. I didn't…"
"Like what?!"
"Like you don't trust me." It just spilled out of Remus' mouth and he regretted it instantly. Why did he expect trust. He was a monster. He didn't even have enough courage to tell her his secret. Why should she tell him hers.
"What! I trust you! How could you say that!" Tears began rolling down her cheeks. She knew she was overreacting but she couldn't help it. "You have no idea what I've been through. Your life will never be as hard as mine is. And you have your secrets too, Remus! Don't deny that!"
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that…I." But it was too late. Jan had turned and began to walk away. The cold stung the tears on her face. She was angry, but she also felt guilt rising inside her. Did she trust him? She hadn't really trusted anybody for a long time. Not since her mother…but it was best not to think about that. She wanted to run back and apologize to him. Wipe that look of hurt off his face and replace it with a smile; Gently kiss him, and tell him that she loved him. But she couldn't do it. She just couldn't turn around. She couldn't bear to look at him. She couldn't believe what she had said. He had been through his fair share in life, and she knew it. She didn't know exactly what he had went through but she was sure it wasn't pleasant. She had seen scars on him…only a few -she hadn't exactly seen all of him- but the ones she saw were gruesome. There was a long one that reached from his right collar bone to the left side of his chest, among other smaller ones. But he didn't exactly want to tell her about them either. Every time she asked, she was met with silence, or the topic was changed.
So instead of going back and telling him she was sorry, she went up to her dorm and cried for a long time. She had hurt the only person who had truly loved her in a long time. She would be spending Christmas Break with her father. Everything was falling apart. Finally, she calmed herself down and went to look for Remus. She didn't have to go far. He was sitting by the window in the Gryffindor Common Room. He had a faraway look, shadowed with hurt and sadness. Jan quietly over to him and sat down.
"Remus, I have some explaining to do." Remus said nothing. "I'm sorry that I can't tell you everything. You had a point, with what you said. I overreacted. I said things I shouldn't have said."
Remus finally spoke, "No Jan, don't apologize. I shouldn't have said I didn't feel like you could trust me. If you have something to tell me you need to tell me on your own time. I just want you to know that I'm here for you and that it's not right for anyone to hurt you in anyway. Not even your Dad."
"He won't hurt me Remus."
"I hope so."
"Don't worry, okay? If I don't owl you, then you can worry." Jan reached up and touched Remus's cheek with her hand. "I love you, Remus. I wish I could spend Christmas with you."
"Me too, Jan." Remus gently wrapped his arms around her waist. His hands on her sent waves of warmth through her body. He drew one of his hands away and reached into a pocket in his robe. "I was going to give this to you just before you left, but now seems like the right time. Close you eyes." Remus pulled out the promise ring and slipped it on her finger. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I promise to always love and protect you. Now open your eyes." Jan gasped.
"I don't know what to say, it's…oh Merlin…"
"You don't have to say anything."
Jan reached up, placing her hand behind his head, and pulling him in for a kiss. Her other hand slipped onto his chest. She could feel his warmth, his strength. It was all around her. She could have stayed here forever with him, never leaving the shelter of his golden light. He was Paris, and she was Helen. She wanted nothing more than to just run away. She wanted him to take her away, far away from all her problems, her doubts, her fears, and her life. But that would only cause a war. Little did she know, the battle was already beginning.
A/N:
Once upon a time, there was little purple button who's name was Review. But Review was sad, because no one ever clicked him. But one day a kind reader came along and clicked him and made him very happy. The moral of the story? Be nice and review my story…you'll make me, and a sad button happy all at once.