Hey peoples. Here's another chapter. Be careful. Don't do drugs, don't have sex, don't get hit by a truck. Blah blah. And have a nice day.
Chapter eight- Wha
"Some of us cut. Some of us used to cut. We are not proud of what we did, but we are not ashamed of out scars. Each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that the wounds healed reminds us that things get better." -Unknown
Bella's Point of View
Okay. Breathe, in and out, I coached myself.
I'd just woken up, drenched in sweat from another nightmare. At least I hadn't screamed and woken Paul. I was a bit confused. This dream wasn't anything like my usual ones. Normally they were about the night Edward had left. The feelings it'd produced. This time, it was a wolf.
I'd been running from something in the forest. What that something was, I had no clue. But I could remember feeling as if I was too slow. And then a horse sized wolf leaped from the brush, landing nimbly on its large paws to face whatever was chasing me. I could see the wolves eye roll back towards me, checking me over it seemed. It was like it was checking to make sure I was unharmed. I felt my heart swell with pride at this animal. But it wasn't an animal. It was a man. My man. My Paul. Only when I realized this, I seemed to notice something else too. The thing chasing me was Edward, a snarl on his face as he leaped out much as Paul had. He landed just as gracefully on his feet, staring at the wolf, before switching his cold gaze to me. I could feel a shiver ripple like water down my spine. There was such hatred and malice in his eyes, it was like there had never been any warmth there. I was just a nuisance, as was my wolf. I could feel a scowl twisting my features. My wolf was more than just that! I may have been a fly on the wall, but he was special. He was the embodiment of warmth and love and care. Of family, of hope, of a way out of this crushing depression. And this bold, brazen blood sucker thought different. I could feel the anger pulsing in my veins. I wanted to rip the fucker to pieces for thinking of my wolf like that. But I wasn't ready when Edward moved as fast as he could and smashed into the silver animal. I cried out, and tried to run to him. It was like I could feel my own collarbone breaking. Like it was my shoulder that was popped out of place. I fell to my knees. This pain was excruciating. I stared in horror as I watched Edward snap Paul's neck. I could feel the twinge of pain there too, but it was much more dulled by the pain overtaking my heart.
And then I had woken up, tears streaming down my face, and burning up. I mean, I felt like I was on fire. Or I was in it. Either way, it was hot as hell and I needed out.
I managed to scramble under Paul's arm and race out the front door before I upchucked. I could feel the smell burn my eyes and nose. Gross, I thought.
I could feel a presence behind me. When I finally stopped dry heaving, I turned to face him, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth. He was frowning as he sniffed the arm. What was he searching for?
"You're not sick," He stated slowly.
I raised my eyebrows. "You can smell that?" I asked in disbelief. I guess it made some sense his wolf senses would be carried over to his human form, but I guess I had just dismissed it. Seth had explained everything on the walk back as Paul was with the others fighting the vampire.
He nodded, his frown deepening. "If you're not sick, why are you throwing up?" His question brought up a good point. I hardly ever get sick. Even then, I usually don't throw up over it. I had a strong immune system.
As I was about to respond, I clutched at my stomach as I vomited again. Paul held my hair back as I did, and rubbed circles in my spine. It felt good, but that was lost in the feeling of losing my stomach contents. I was still burning, even with the cool breeze.
I felt worse than I ever had, physically at least. This sucks, I groaned in my head.
Paul was staring at me in concern. "Where does it hurt?" He murmured, keeping his voice quiet.
I shook my head as I fell to my knees. He was on his right beside me. "You have to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it, Bells'." I didn't know what was wrong, and quite frankly, it was fucking annoying.
"If I knew I'd tell you!" I ground out between clenched teeth. My stomach was in knots, twisting and turning unnaturally. What's happening? I whimpered. I passed out about then.
"Bella?" I heard a soft, masculine voice call. I groaned in return. My whole body was aching, and I just wished to go back to sleep. Apparently these people didn't seem to understand that. I could feel a hand on my shoulder then, and I immediately snarled. I had no clue where the urge came from, but it felt right somehow. My eyes snapped open and I was on my feet in seconds, taking in my surrounding. I was in Paul's house still, with all the pack there and Rogue perched on the top of the couch, right above where I'd been laying. I only remembered then what happened before I woke up, and I could feel my stomach returning to its previous state of uneasiness.
"What the fuck?" I groaned again, sagging back into the couch as I covered my face with my hands. I felt someone wrap huge, muscled arms around me as I was lifted and settled into a lap. I unconsciously snuggled deeper into the chiseled chest. Paul.
Suddenly, the uneasiness in my stomach intensified, and I couldn't contain it. I snapped up onto my feet, wobbling dizzily for a moment before darting for the bathroom. I could sense Paul right behind me. When I was finished puking up my guts, I sighed and leaned my head onto the cool tiles of the floor. I was so hot still. It seemed to be getting worse as time went on. I just wanted it to stop.
Instead of being left alone, someone else touched me. That someone was not my mate, and I reacted violently. I latched my fingernails into their calf before yanking them down. I got on top of them, snarling in their face, salvia dripping down my chin.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I hissed. It was so unbearably hot and stuffy. I felt like I was going to suffocate if I didn't get out of here. So that's what I did. I ran out side after jumping off Sam, who I'd attacked. It didn't matter. None of it did except getting this festering heat away from me. I ran to the tree line.
What was wrong with me?!
I could feel the rage building. What did I do to deserve this this time? I wanted to rip open the throat of whatever God and/or Gods watched over me. What did I keep doing wrong? My rage came to a boiling point and suddenly, I could hear the snapping of bones very clearly.
My ankle, then the other. My wrists, my spine, my collarbones. My forearms and lower legs. My hips. I could feel and hear my face breaking. It felt weird, and very painful. It was hard to describe. It was like I had a pressure on the inside of my skull, pushing outwards to shift my face into something else and damn did it hurt. I was hurting, inside and out. I could practically feel the worry pouring off Paul and it hurt me emotionally knowing he was hurting because of me. Call me mushy, but it's how it was.
I called out in pain as my spine broke all over again. What surprised me was the thing coming out of my mouth. It was not human! It was wolf. It came out as a howl, and I think I was starting to freak the fuck out.
I rubbed my 'snout' into the grass in the hopes of lessening the pain. Fuck did this hurt. Did all the boys feel like this when they shifted? If so, I felt so terribly sorry for them. I barked out as I felt something being pushed through the skin on my tail bone. It felt like acid was being poured down my back and I whimpered. Oww.
I had a freaking tail. I could feel my ears flicker in surprise as well. Wait. Ears? Did I seriously just get the whole packaged deal of the wolf? I muttered off a sting of curses in my head before someone cleared their throat.
I swiveled my large head around in confusion. The noise hadn't had a direction it was coming from. So who was talking? I jumped sky high when a voice in my head talked.
Bella? I whined, my ears flat against my skull, and my tail tucked like a traitor. Damn thing. I couldn't control it very well yet.
