8. Then.

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Coz I'm waiting for tonight.

Then waiting for tomorrow.

And I'm somewhere in-between.

What is real and just a dream?

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He couldn't sleep. Not a wink.

The minutes dragged by like endless days. The hours morphing into eons.

The thin fabric of the curtain that separated him from Rachel became an enormous chasm, stretching to the horizon, and yawning below him, so deep it reached the other end of the world.

Finn lost track of time. His mind misted over and, with his eyes still open, he drifted… from one regret to the next.

Until he heard a floorboard creak.

At first, he thought it was Kurt, coming home. He lifted his head and peered through the gloom, trying to make out the front door. But then he heard a soft shuffling, coming from his right.

A shadow appeared at the foot of the bed. So small, and fragile.

It was Rachel.

He sat up, moving back against the headboard as she eased herself onto the foot of the bed. She drew both her legs up, tucking her feet in so she sat cross-legged facing him. Like some kind of swami.

She didn't speak.

Finn didn't know what to say.

They watched each other in the barely-light.

"Why did you come here?" she asked, at last, "What happened? Did you quit the Army?"

"Yes," he answered.

He heard her breath hitch. "Why?'

"It's kind of a long story."

"I've got time."

He took a moment to compose his thoughts, trying to find the best way to explain.

"Fort Benning is where my dad was inducted," he said, "Same camp. Same instructor, even. Drill-Sergeant McKenna. It was… brutal. We're fighting two wars right now, no matter what the media says, so everything's sped up. I was serving in the O-Club one night, and–"

"The what?"

"Sorry, the Officer's Club," he explained, "It's part of our hazing, that we serve the officers like waiters when they have dinner. A couple of captains were getting drunk, and they were talking about how our basic training now is closer to what they do with Navy Seals. It has to be. Or we'd never be ready to ship off to the Middle East."

"Were you scared?" she asked.

"Every day," he admitted, "But I kept him in my mind, you know? He was a hero, and the world deserved to see him like that. Even if it was only through me."

"I always got that, you know?" said Rachel, "I understood why you wanted to do it. You didn't have to chase me away. I would have been there, next to you, if I could."

"I know," he said.

In the dark, he reached blindly for her hand. He felt her hesitate. Then her fingers closed around his, and the comfort he felt in that one, miniscule touch, seeped into his very bones,

"About a week ago, we got our spurs," he said, "It's just a slang term for graduating. A couple of the guys and me, we broke into the O-Club. There's this balcony looking out over the main floor. Kinda like the ones in the theaters we used to perform in. We went up there, and got drunk. We were laughing and telling stories. Just grateful we made it. We didn't want to think about what happens next."

He felt her fingers tighten around his as she gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. He managed a small smile.

"I had my knife on me," he went on, "It's one of those Rambo-type knives, you know? With the compass on top? I wanted to carve my name into the railing. Like Puck and I did on our desks in school. So I got on my back, and I found a spot where I figured it wouldn't be noticed, and… there it was."

"What?"

"His name. Chris Hudson."

"Finn…"

"He was there, in that same spot, and he had the exact same idea, and… that's when I realised… I'm an idiot."

"What?"

Rachel drew back her hand, confused. Finn wanted to grab it again. Ached to do it. But he stayed still.

"I realised I was chasing a ghost," he said, "My dad was a kid just like me. Same hopes, same dreams, and he chased them. Yeah, he messed up, but he followed his path, so… why was I trying to follow it? You were here in New York, starting this exciting new life, and I was stuck trying to live one he'd already lived. I don't know if that makes any sense, but… that's when I knew, I was in the wrong place. That's when I knew I had to come find you. That's when I knew I…"

He trailed off. His eyes had somewhat adjusted to the darkness, but he still couldn't make out her expression. He couldn't tell if she understood what he was trying to say.

Then he felt her hand close around his again.

"That's when I knew…" he said.

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