Olivia sat at the kitchen table as she opened her mail, while Alex enjoyed a relaxing bath. Alex's pregnancy meant that her back ached all the time, so Olivia encouraged her to take as many baths as possible. Olivia opened the monthly statement from her bank, and stared.
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When she went into the bathroom, Alex was lying back in the bath, her eyes closed. It wasn't often that she looked so relaxed, so Olivia decided not to disturb her. As she turned to leave, Alex called out. "Liv?"
"Were you expecting somebody else?" Olivia tried to sound light-hearted.
Alex opened her eyes and looked at Olivia, immediately taking in the paper in her hand. She closed her eyes momentarily. She had known this moment was coming. "Maybe you should sit," Alex said, tiredly, nodding to the closed toilet seat.
Olivia did as instructed. She was determined not to upset Alex.
Alex reached out a soapy hand, which Olivia immediately grasped.
"I think I know what you're gonna say," Alex said softly.
Olivia nodded. "Yeah," she exhaled. She looked down at the statement, which showed that Alex had paid her exact salary into her account. "Lex, I have savings. I don't need your money."
"I know," Alex said, trying to force her voice to remain steady. "And I don't want to … insult you. Not in any way."
Olivia opened her mouth to speak.
"No," Alex said, forestalling her. "Just look at it from my point of view, Liv. You're taking a six-month hiatus from work. Unpaid. To take care of me."
"It's not just for you, Alexandra," Olivia protested. "It's as much for me. I couldn't bear for you to be on your own right now. I'm not here out of duty. I'm here because I just … couldn't … be anywhere else. Not without losing my mind. I thought I'd lost you, Lex," she blinked away tears. "When you came back, and you didn't come back to me. It was the worst thing ever," she let out a sob. "I know now you were doing it for me. But you were wrong, Lex. Not being with you hurt me so much more."
"I didn't want to put you through it," unconsciously Alex stroked her belly. "When I give up this child for adoption. All that stuff with your mom. I don't know much, right now, Olivia. But I do know that it is not this child's fault that I was raped. And it's not your fault that your mom was raped. But I was so scared that … you would think that … you're not unworthy, Liv. You have the most beautiful soul of anyone I have ever met. I didn't want you to think that I was rejecting you. I'm just scared. I'm scared that this baby will hate me. I'm not going to be able to forget what happened to me, and if this child even once sees that in my eyes, I will be doing it irreparable damage. And I just can't. I can't be responsible for taking away its childhood. Like you lost your childhood." She was crying openly now, tears rolling down her face.
"I love you, Olivia," Alex choked out. "I never knew how much I could love anyone until I met you."
"I love you too, Alexandra," Olivia whispered. She knelt by the tub, and cupped Alex's face gently in her hands. "But I don't need your money, baby."
Alex rested her forehead against Olivia's, and tried to catch her breath. "I know you don't need it," she said eventually. "But it makes me feel just a tiny bit better about keeping you here."
"You're not keeping me here," Olivia interjected.
"Liv. Please. You won't let me put you on my bank account. Though God knows, all I have is yours. I have a lot of money, you know that. Even more since Mom died. I have a lot of charity stuff going on, but even so. It wouldn't matter if we never worked again. So," she took a shaky breath. "I want to do this. For me. So I can kid myself you aren't giving up everything for me. Will you let me do it?"
For the first time, Olivia thought about what Alex had done from Alex's point of view, and she started to understand. Alex came from a very wealthy background, and as an only child, she had inherited everything from her parents. She supported so many charities that Olivia wondered how she had time to administer it all as well as work a full-time job. But, even so, she still had great personal wealth.
"I never understand how you are so unspoilt," Olivia said softly. "All that money, and you still choose to stay with me in a crappy two-bed apartment."
"It's the only place I've ever really felt at home," Alex admitted. "I feel safe here. And loved."
"Okay," Olivia whispered. "If you wanna give me the money, I'll take it. But only until I go back to work, okay?"
"Deal," Alex felt a huge wave of relief. She was exhausted. She had generally been doing so much better, but she had had a restless night, and the money conversation had unnerved her.
Olivia leant forward and kissed her very tenderly.
"Bathe with me?" Alex asked, unexpectedly.
"Are you sure?" Olivia knew that Alex was still not ready for any sexual attention, and had been careful with her levels of nudity, not wanting to make Alex nervous.
Alex nodded. "Please?" she said, in a small voice.
Olivia shed her clothes, and climbed in behind Alex, sliding one leg either side of her. Alex reached out behind her for Olivia's hands and drew them around her large belly. She leant back into Olivia, pleased to find that she didn't feel any nervous. She felt safe, and loved.
Olivia held Alex gently, and kissed her neck chastely. "Love you, baby," she whispered, pleased as Alex drifted to sleep. She held her for over an hour, running in hot water from time to time. Eventually, she looked at her watch and remembered that Annie was coming to visit that afternoon. She coaxed Alex out of the tub, and guided her to the bed where she helped her into a loose singlet and a pair of her own boxers. She dressed similarly and slid into the bed next to Alex. "Sleep a little more, my darling," she whispered, pleased as Alex slid into her and, half-asleep, reached out for Olivia's full breast through her singlet. She held her close as her eyes closed again.
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Casey looked up and grinned widely as Annie slipped quietly into the sports hall at 8.15pm that night, and made her way over to an empty seat on the benches. She hadn't expected her until 9pm, so was thrilled by her early arrival.
Annie gave a smile and a wave as she settled herself down to watch Casey interacting with the children, who all seemed between about eight to twelve years old. There were two other adults in the room, a man and a woman, both in their late twenties, she guessed. Casey was clearly the one in charge, though, and Annie enjoyed watching her as she moved easily among the children, offering advice and help, laughing often and giving and receiving hugs as she went. Annie was charmed by the redhead's ease and confidence among the kids. It didn't hurt that she was as hot as hell in her baseball clothes.
Casey tried – and failed – not to keep looking over at Annie. She grinned sheepishly when she caught her eye on more than one occasion. Annie looked gorgeous, dressed in jeans and a smart white shirt under her ever-present leather jacket. When she shrugged off the jacket after a while, Casey could see the muscles in her arms, and her breath caught. She couldn't wait to get a closer look at the intricate tattoos on her arm, too. Fuck, she was hot.
Finally, after what seemed like weeks, it was 9pm, and chaos reigned as the children were picked up by their parents and carers, and the clearing-up began. Annie smiled as Casey introduced her to the other adults, surprised when she heard their names.
"Father Mike, Sister Kath, meet my friend Annie," Casey said with a smile, enjoying the look of surprise on Annie's face.
Annie grinned and shook their hands. "If the nuns had looked like you when I was a kid, I'd have enjoyed Catholic school more," she winked at Sister Kath.
Kath laughed. "That's what Casey said to me when we first met. You two are a good match," she smiled.
Annie's eyes opened wider.
Casey grinned. "It's okay, Annie. Kath and Mike know all about me. And they aren't going to have me excommunicated."
"First date?" Kath asked Annie.
Annie nodded.
"Well then, why don't you help me and Mike put all this stuff away, while Casey takes a shower. Then you can get away quicker."
Fifteen minutes later, Casey returned from the showers, dressed in jeans and a green shirt that complemented her eyes. Annie tried not to stare, but there was something so beautiful about her. Her hair was still a little damp, and she wore no make-up, but that only made her more stunning.
"Ready to go, hot stuff?" Annie tried to keep her voice steady.
"Sure, stud," Casey teased, as she waved goodbye to Mike and Kath. She slipped her hand into Annie's as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and they headed out onto the sidewalk. "You got some place in mind?"
Annie shook her head. "I'm the tourist here," she smiled. "What are you in the mood for?"
"There's a great little Italian a few blocks from here. It's very gay-friendly too, so there's never any awkwardness."
"Lead on," Annie tightened her grip on Casey's fingers, reveling in the soft, warm skin. She sneaked a look at Casey's face. "You look beautiful," she said softly.
"Looking red hot yourself," Casey said, and then flushed. "Sorry. That was crass. I just mean … you are very … dashing. I've always been a sucker for leather," she ran a finger down Annie's arm.
Within a few minutes, they were seated at a corner booth. Instead of sitting opposite each other, they both sat on the corner, making them closer together.
Annie was suddenly nervous. She hadn't felt this nervous for years. Usually, she had no problem attracting a woman. But this woman, this stunning redhead, she was something else. As well as being beautiful, and highly intelligent, she had … a spark. Something that made Annie desperate to get to know her properly. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she wanted to get to know her even more than she wanted to bed her.
After they had ordered, Annie touched Casey's cheek. "I don't know what it is about you, Red," she said softly. "But there's something special."
Casey nodded. "I feel the same way about you," she said. She touched Annie's wrist, stroking the small bit of tattoo that was visible. "May I?" she asked.
Annie nodded, watching fascinated as Casey undid the cuff on her shirt, and slowly rolled it up as far as it would go. Casey was staring at the intricate design. "I can't get over how hot this is," she said, huskily.
Annie swallowed. She could see the desire in Casey's eyes, and there was something so intoxicating about being wanted – and wanted by this incredible woman. Her voice was the sexiest thing she had ever heard too.
At that moment, their plates arrived, and Annie had to bite back a laugh, as the intensity of the moment dissipated. Casey wasn't looking though, her attention was on the table behind them, and she was smiling. Annie shifted to look at what had pleased Casey, and she saw a pair of young lesbians – they couldn't have been as old as 25. The dark-haired one of the pair was on one knee, and held out what a ring. Within seconds, they were kissing passionately.
The restaurant erupted in applause, and Casey surreptitiously wiped a tear. She didn't want Annie to know what a sap she was.
Annie called the waitress over. She nodded to the newly engaged pair. "Can you get them a bottle of your best champagne, and add it to my check?" she asked.
Casey reached over and touched Annie's hand.
Annie shrugged, embarrassed to be caught in the generous gesture. "Young love," she said, trying to sound dismissive.
"You think they'll be together ten years from now?" Casey asked, sounding unexpectedly cynical.
Annie looked at them again, looking at the expressions on their faces. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I reckon they will."
Casey leant towards her and kissed her softly, slowly, savoring the taste of her, the softness of her lips. "So you're a romantic," her voice held a hint of awe.
"Eat your lasagne, Red," Annie pulled herself together.
They finished their meal, which was delicious but which could have been sawdust, for all the attention that Annie paid to it. She had begun to worry that the whole thing had been a mistake. She couldn't hurt Casey. She was too sweet, too special. She would make her understand, and leave before it was too late.
Annie reached out and placed a tentative hand over Casey's.
Casey looked up, surprised by the serious expression on her face.
"I like you, Casey. A lot," Annie admitted. "But I'm not sure this is fair. On you. I'm terrible at relationships. And I live in Chicago, for Christ's sake."
"You don't want this?" Casey was unable to hide the devastation on her face.
"No. It's not that," Annie squeezed her fingers. "I do want this. I want you. I don't think I've ever wanted anyone more. But you deserve more than a … than a quick fuck," the sudden vulgarity sounded harsh.
"Why don't you let me decide that?" Casey sounded defiant.
"Because I want more, too," for the first time, Annie sounded vulnerable. She looked into Casey's green eyes, and saw nothing but compassion and kindness. "But we're so far apart. Geographically. And … I don't want to fuck this up. I don't want you to get hurt. I would never forgive myself."
"Then make love to me," Casey said softly. "Hey," she put one finger under Annie's chin and lifted her face, forcing her to look at her. "We don't know what's going to happen. We can't know that. Neither of us. But one thing I do know. You are the most intriguing woman I have ever met. You're so strong, and so goddamned sexy. I cannot wait to see what's under all this," she touched Annie's arm, and tugged at her white shirt.
Annie just blinked.
"I'm not asking you to make any commitment to me. The only thing I ask is that you don't lie to me."
"I won't lie," Annie said, her breathing quickening as Casey's hand moved down the front of her shirt, and cupped one of her large breasts softly. She felt her thumb flick across the nipple; even through her shirt and singlet, she was instantly aroused.
"I thought so," Casey's voice was hoarse, as her finger circled the piercing she found. "I knew you'd have some piercings. Both?" she squeezed lightly, delighted at Annie's sudden intake of breath. "Or one?"
"Just the left," Annie tried to control her breathing. "And navel."
"Of course," Casey grinned. She kissed Annie again, more demandingly this time, her hand never leaving her breast.
After a minute, Annie reluctantly pulled back. "We're giving a show," she gasped, though in truth the lighting was low, and nobody was paying any attention to them.
"Please tell me your hotel is near here," Casey watched Annie as she called for the check. She fumbled in her jacket for her wallet. "My apartment is right across town."
"Not this time, Red," Annie had regained some of her self-control, as she pulled Casey's hand away from her pocket. "Dinner is on me. And," she couldn't work out of this was the dumbest or the smartest thing she had ever done, "my hotel is just around the corner. I'm staying at The Wilde."
"I'm impressed," Casey knew of the hotel, though it was out of her price range.
"Don't be," Annie's face shut down marginally. There was a story there, Casey knew. But Annie clearly didn't want to talk about it.
"Egyptian cotton sheets?" Casey teased, moving away from what was clearly bothering Annie.
"1,200 thread count," Annie was grateful for the diversion, as she signed the check and left a hefty tip.
"That should do it," Casey was on her feet.
As they left the restaurant, Casey grabbed Annie's hand and started to stride toward the nearby hotel.
Annie pulled her back gently. She took both of her hands, and looked carefully into her eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked.
Casey didn't say anything, but merely pulled the brunette into a deep, passionate kiss. They made out for a few minutes, until they broke apart, gasping. "Do you have any idea just how wet I am right now?" Casey's voice cracked, with undisguised lust.
Annie swallowed. "'kay," she whispered.
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By the time they entered the luxury hotel, Annie had regained her confidence. Casey really wanted her, and she had been as open and up-front as she knew how to be. And she couldn't remember ever being so aroused.
Annie could see that Casey wasn't wearing a bra. Her breasts were small and high and firm, and her nipples had hardened tantalisingly. They stumbled into the elevators; as soon as the doors slid shut, Annie unbuttoned the first button on Casey's blouse. Casey grinned. "Well, don't stop there, stud."
Annie expertly flicked open the next two buttons, and her hand closed around a pert breast. "Oh fuck," Annie felt her center flood. "Jesus, Casey," the feel of the tight nipple was almost more than she could bear. She had to see. She pulled the shirt to one side, and moaned involuntarily at the sight before her. The elevator slowed to a halt. At the sound of the ping, Casey laughed and closed her shirt with one hand as Annie fumbled for the key.
Normally, Casey would have been overwhelmed by the large, opulent hotel suite. But she couldn't take her eyes off Annie and, it was clear, the feeling was mutual. Within seconds, Annie had dragged Casey's shirt over her head, and crushed both breasts gently in her strong hands. Her touch was masterful, but so soft, so tender. When Annie took one nipple in her hot mouth, Casey couldn't stop herself crying out.
Annie tongued one breast and then the next, stopping to kiss Casey deeply on the mouth, before returning to her soft, perfect breasts.
Casey reached out and pressed a hand against Annie's jean-clad center, surprised as Annie pulled back sharply. "No," Annie bit out. "Not yet. Oh God, Casey. No. I'm so close. Just … not yet." She gave a ragged laugh. "I don't want to come in my jeans," she felt like a horny teenager.
Casey smiled; she could see by the deep, violet blue of Annie's eyes that she wasn't kidding. Annie's lust was intoxicating. "I don't think I'm going to take long, either," she felt Annie's hand slide down the front of her jeans, grinning at Annie's look of delight when she felt her sodden folds. "See?" she teased.
Annie lifted her up in one quick movement, and carried her to the bedroom. She laid her down carefully on the bed.
"I want to see you," Casey pleaded, reaching out for Annie's shirt, untucking it from her jeans.
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Alex awoke with a start, and realized the bed was empty. Awkwardly, she got to her feet. Olivia was not in the bathroom. She took the opportunity to pee while she was there, acknowledging ruefully that she would be back there within the hour anyway, the way the baby was dancing on her bladder.
She shrugged on Olivia's robe, her own having become too small, and padded into the living room. Olivia sat at the edge of the couch, her face contorted with tears. She didn't even notice Alex coming toward her.
Alex saw the letter clutched in Olivia's hand, and her heart plummeted. This was one of the letters that she had written to her from WitSec, breaking all the rules to do so.
"Liv?" she called softly.
Olivia looked up sharply, a look of guilt on her face, and tried to wipe away the tears. "I'm sorry, Lex," she said, clearing her throat. "I ..."
Alex sat next to her on the couch. "Don't apologize," she said, softly. "I keep forgetting. This is probably harder on you. I would so much rather it happened to me than to you. I don't think I could bear it if …," she swallowed.
Olivia looked at her, and her self-control vanished. She started to weep uncontrollably, and every time she tried to stop, it only got worse. "It's okay to cry," Alex said softly, as she held her in her arms, as much as she could with her large belly. "It's okay, Liv. You don't have to be strong for me. You've been so strong. You've taken care of us all. Now you need to give yourself a little time. That's it," she soothed, holding her close. "I'm here for you."
"I'm okay," Olivia struggled to speak.
"No, baby. You're not okay. But that's alright. You will be. We all will be. Let it out, Liv."
Alex held her as she gave herself up to her misery. Slowly, Olivia started to calm. Alex rocked her lovingly, until, eventually, she fell to sleep, the letter still clutched tight in her hand.
Alex eased the letter out from between her fingers, reaching across her to grab a pair of glasses from the side table, grateful that she had glasses littered all around the apartment. She realized that it was the last one that she had sent Olivia from WitSec. She started to read.
My darling girl.
It's been almost three years, and your absence still hurts me every single day. I think of you all the time, and I long to hold you, to be with you. I want you in my arms, in my bed. Inside me. I want to feel you, on my skin, your breath of my neck. Sometimes I'm frightened that I'll forget what you look like – what you sound like. What you taste like. And then I'll dream of you, and that dream will be so real, that I'll wake up, and for a moment, it'll be like you were with me. But you're not there, and it's not the same.
But the news is good, my darling. I hear that our situation will soon be resolved. Within a couple of months, they tell me. Six at the very outset. And then you'll be with me again. I'll never have to imagine your face, your voice. Your touch. We'll never have to be apart again.
I'm so sorry that we're apart. I know it's my fault. If I hadn't been so pig-headed, so goddamned stubborn, we'd never have had to be apart. Nothing will drive us apart again. Nothing.
I always knew I loved you. But I love you more each day, sweetheart. And I'll be coming home to you. Soon.
I love you. I miss you. I want you. And I can't wait to be with you.
A.
xxx
By the time she had finished reading, Alex was crying too. She remembered mailing that letter, in the mail box right by the hospital. It had all seemed so simple then. Less than two hours later, she was being raped.
Olivia moaned in her sleep, her face creasing in pain. "C'mon," Alex eased her to her feet. "We'll get you to bed. Get you something for that headache," she saw Olivia squinting in the low light, and her heart fell. Olivia didn't often get migraines, but when she did, they were usually awful. She helped her to bed, and held a glass of water to her lips as she swallowed the tablets. She would find the painkilling suppositories, just in case. If Olivia started vomiting, as she usually did when her migraines overwhelmed her, tablets would be no help at all. She grimaced as she found all the supplies, and set a basin on the night stand.
Olivia moaned.
"No, baby, try and sleep," Alex's voice was calming. "It'll be okay in the morning. I love you, sweetheart," she pressed a light kiss to her sweaty brow. "It'll be okay."
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"It's 3am," Annie said, as she held a sweaty, exhilarated Casey in her arms. "You need to sleep," Casey was idly tracing the arrow-shaped bar in Annie's nipple with her finger.
"I can't stop looking," Casey's tongue flicked out, and for the hundredth time that night, she took the nipple into her mouth.
Annie's back arched involuntarily. She had had the nipple bar for over five years, but she had never felt pleasure like this with any of her previous lovers. "No," she choked out. "You've got to sleep. You have work. It's Friday tomorrow." She looked at her watch. "Today. Jesus Casey," Casey bit down sharply, as she pressed Annie's legs apart.
"Just one more," Casey begged, sliding two fingers expertly into her lover. She was so tight, so beautiful. She felt a welcome gush of fluid. "See," she teased, as she moved down her body. "You're almost there."
"But you need to sleep," Annie's resolve faltered as arousal shot through her. "And you have to go home in the morning, get some work clothes."
"Got a spare suit in the office," Casey moved back up her lover, and grinned. "Together," she declared, settling herself on Annie's abdomen, dragging her sodden centre over Annie's tight muscles. She slid one hand back into her. With the other hand, she guided Annie's fingers to her own centre, and started to rock, grinning as Annie responded involuntarily. She gazed adoringly at Annie's large breasts, and leant down to run her tongue along the tattoo that ran down the side of Annie's torso, barely touching the side of her bejeweled breast. 'Trust to time,' the tattoo said, in what Casey would later learn was a facsimile of Annie's own handwriting. A small outline of a heart was inked next to the words.
"It's my motto," Annie had told her, but had declined to elaborate. Casey knew she would get the full story out of her.
As she rode Annie's strong fingers, Casey realized that she had never felt so happy, so complete. Moments later, they came together, and she collapsed into Annie's arms.
Annie gathered her to her and held her close. Casey had never felt so safe. It was impossible to tell where this journey would take them. Right now, she was happy to settle for what she had.
She looked into Annie's eyes, and was moved to see the moisture in them. Annie reached out a shaky hand, and tucked a strand of sweat-soaked hair behind Casey's ear. "You're somethin' else, Red, you know that?" her voice shook. "I could fall for a girl like you."
