"You missed lunch again" Logan accused Duncan as he entered the Newspaper office.
"No, you missed lunch" Duncan corrected as he slid into the seat beside him. "We were all there"
"Come on… we both know she wasn't there" Logan said bitterly.
"You make it sounds like she's gone. Maybe if you joined us you'd see that she's still the same person" Duncan told him. "She's just.."
"Not the same person" Logan told him. She's like the girl you fell for… she's not the one who was Lilly's best friend… she doesn't even remember she should be missing Lilly…
"I thought you hated the old Veronica" Duncan told him coldly before he picked up his notebook and went to sit at another desk.
I did… and I miss her.
How could someone just not be there anymore?
"It sounds to me like you are grieving" Ms James told him quietly. "Are you sure this doesn't have anything to do with the Lilly Kane Fountain dedication coming up?" she probed.
"That or that suddenly Duncan's decided to stop behaving like a zombie… it's like he's completely forgotten everything her father did…" Logan said angrily, these little sessions with Ms James were becoming more and more frequent and he couldn't understand why.
"Maybe he's just trying not to punish this new Veronica with thing's she can't remember?" Ms James suggested.
"Like that changes anything" he scoffed.
"Doesn't that kind of change everything? This is a new opportunity for you as well Logan… it's a chance to let go" she offered.
I don't want to let go… I want her back…
"Attachment serves two basic functions. First, attachment ensures the individuals remain in the proximity of the caregivers to procure resources for survival and protection. Second, attachment "quality programs" the brain" Dr Holtz explained.
"But if it's for… say a person… after something like this… does that mean something in particular?" Veronica asked shyly.
As in… why do I feel so compelled to get to know Logan Echolls?
"It's possible that stronger emotions could have left a deeper impression leaving you feeling more closely bonded to certain individuals… shared trauma's for instance" he said softly.
"Like the murder of a loved one?" she asked and noted that Keith Mars winced a little.
"Yes" he confirmed.
"But I've been through all the pictures and videos…. I have no memories of Lilly Kane" Veronica assured him.
"That you are aware of… those could resurface with time" Dr Holtz told her. "So recovered memory therapy generally is applied to such methods as hypnosis, age regression, drug-assisted interviewing and guided visualization… we just need to start some introductory sessions, and see where it goes from there" he smiled.
Veronica had been developing a habit of trying to suck in as much information about each moment around her as possible, Dr Jeremiah Holtz had a thick accent, and grey eyes, they were made even more striking by the salt and pepper colouring in his hair.
"We have determined that you have no problems sustaining the retention of new memories, that is a very good sign" he assured them. "The ultimate challenge we face is that although the CT scan showed no obvious signs of prolonged damage, and none of the other cognitive processes seemed to be affected, it is the untangling those real from fake memories which could take some time"
"Cognitive processes, you mean all those tests and tasks she was taking?" Keith asked.
"Yes, for all intents and purposes, she is still in many ways the exact same individual" he told him.
"It's just like someone hit a bit of a reset switch?" Veronica suggested.
"You would be the best person to judge that… it is just unfortunate that there aren't more people around who could help you to confirm what you might uncover" Dr Holtz said sadly.
Yeah…. Pity there wasn't someone who was like a best friend who knew all my secrets who could help give me back the greatest hits…. Veronica thought as she thumbed the picture of the four of them at homecoming dance.
Maybe she did have a reason to be missing Lilly Kane.
Dear Diary,
If you ever want to experiment with drugs but don't want the long term side effects, I recommend hypnotherapy with Dr Jeremiah Elijah Holtz, of Neptune's Sacred Heart Hospital. You want erratic crazy images of weightlessness, discomfort and the taste of salt and lime… your limbs refusing to respond and waking up screaming…? He's your man.
I'm guessing it didn't go well because he took dad outside and there were all these awkward questions about potential histories of assault from the psychologist.
Recovered Memory Therapy?
Fun fun fun.
Veronica smiled weakly as Keith Mars handed her a small hot chocolate and they settled down to watch an ocean exploration documentary. She really wished there was a different way to get her memories back, because if this was the start of it? She really didn't want them back at all.
