It's dark when the sound of the door being unlocked jerks me to wakefulness. I choke out with the agony of the sudden movement. Clunking my fists in the sheets I bite on my lip nearly drawing blood as I breath through the pain.

Arthur's hurried footsteps are heard over the pain, "Merlin." His voice is quiet and tired as his hands smooth my back carefully.

"I'm fine you just startled me and I moved." I assure him, wheezing.

I listen as he moves away and a candle is being lit, his face appears out of the darkness. The candle is set on the side table as he sits by my side, running a hand through my hair. "Do you want some of that stuff we grabbed earlier?"

I had forgotten about it but I nod and as he gets up to find it, I pull off my shirt slowly. Rolling on to my not as badly injured side I glance down at the array of bruises now coloring my skin. I know I am pale but the dark purple bruises mixing with the older yellow ones look vivid and painful against the white of my skin.

Arthur comes back with the crème and hisses at the sight. "I am still surprised you don't have broken ribs." He says opening the jar.

I grimace. "I'm glad I don't have broken ribs."

Arthur scoops some greyish paste on to his fingers and gently applies it to the bruises. I gasp with the coldness of the crème and he pauses looking up with concern.

"It's a little cold." I tell him.

Arthur nods and goes back to spreading out the paste.

It doesn't take long until the crème numbs everything to the point that I barely feel any pain. I sigh with relief though the paste does little to help my lungs.

"My fingers are numb." Arthur says glaring at the offending digits.

I chuckle. "I should have warned you."

He shrugs and puts the lid back on the jar, setting it next to the candle. Arthur stares at the flame for a moment, his face falling into a somber look. My stomach knots with that look and I instinctively reach out. Grabbing his hand I squeeze it in a hopefully comforting manner.

"I spoke to my father," He finally says, his eyes drifting to mine slowly.

Lingering pain and anger shadows his features and I reach to caress his cheek while I keep ahold of his hand. Arthur lets out a deep breath, closes his eyes, and leans into my touch. His body noticeably relaxes.

The instant change baffles me. Have I always had this effect on him or was it that he just needed this gentleness at the moment? I can't find the courage to ask. I can't understand what we are. The border between Prince and manservant are so blurred I can't see it anymore. There is just the two of us, Arthur and Merlin, friends. I know and understand Arthur better than anyone ever. He has never allowed someone so close before.

"I went to his chambers," Arthur starts the somber look still evident, "I had a battle going on in my head. There were so many things I wanted to say, I imagined almost a poetic fight but the moment I entered his chamber…I lost it all."

I can understand. Uther isn't just the king but he's Arthur's father, the man Arthur has always looked up to, the man he hasn't always agreed with but still thought the world of. I can see Arthur has lost faith not only in Uther's reign but as his father.

"He was standing by his windows, the ones that overlook the gardens; I am told it was my mother's favorite part of the castle. He didn't acknowledge me in any way and I could tell he hadn't moved in sometime. I've never seen him so stiff. It was like looking at a tree instead of a king. I didn't say anything when I shut the door and crossed the room. I didn't go to his side. I still want to be his superior and not his equal."

"I still couldn't remember what I wanted to say and my father didn't give me a chance to remember before he asked, 'Do you love him?'"

I sat up slowly, uncertain if I wanted to hear the next part. Arthur let out a heavy sigh.

"I answered as best as I could, 'In a way, yes' He didn't speak for a long while but I knew he had more to say. When he did finally speak again he turned to face me. His face was nothing like I have ever witnessed but I could understand; it was the face of loss, heart ache, pain, true suffering." Arthur squeezed my hand.

"It's what I felt when I thought I had lost you," I lean forward and press my forehead into his shoulder to listen as he spoke, "He smiled at me even in the agony I could tell it was genuine, his next words were the most sincere I had ever heard come from him, 'I'm glad you have that Arthur, you deserve all the love you can get,' he said, 'I don't care who you take to your bed as long as you are loved. I was blind to your happiness, I saw it as insubordination caused by your manservant, and I'm sorry,' My father is a proud man as you well know he would rather fight tooth and nail before admitting he was wrong."

I listen to the sadness dripping from each word, closing my eyes to imagine the two.

"He kept speaking, 'I was shocked to find him, to see it presented before me I reacted as I thought acceptable with no concern to you or his wellbeing. When you came in and spoke. Your voice was that of a king's, a true ruler. Hearing those wise words coming from your mouth, listening to the king you will become I was awed by you. I saw the love that you have for him and I saw the love he has for you. No words can mend the damage I have done and I don't expect any forgiveness from you or him but know that I am truly sorry.'" Arthur's free hand is stroking down my spine, the touch sends a shiver through me.

"I don't forgive him for hurting you, I will never forgive him for hurting you or the words he spoke to you but I will forgive his arrogance and I told him this. I told him what happened to you, I didn't tell him about your magic of course. He assured me he wouldn't be a bother to you in the future and hopes you make a full recovery."

Arthur's quiet for a moment before speaking again, "I also told him you weren't angry at him."

I snort, "And what did he say to that?" I ask.

"He was surprised like I was then he looked guilt and said 'even after everything that has happened to him, I can't imagine' we didn't talk too much more after that." Arthur sighs, "I went to the kitchens and asked to have breakfast brought up but that will be a few hours."

I open my eyes and pull back from him, "Are you alright?" I can care less about Uther and his guilt at the moment. It is Arthur, who has recently lost all faith in the man he has looked up to his entire life that my concern is.

Arthur's steady blue eyes search my face with a wall blocking any emotion so when he leans forward and kisses me gently I don't see it coming. Arthur has kisses me several times the last couple of days but after the kiss in the lower tunnels they have only been on the cheek or forehead.

Arthur's kiss is cautious and slow as if he's afraid that I'll bolt. I understand his concern but with Arthur's warm lips on mine most of my thoughts vanish. I press back just enough to encourage him. I have never been kissed so gently. All the kisses my captor gave were rough and commanding. Arthur takes control but it's nothing that I have experienced.

I can taste his eagerness and open my mouth slightly as an invitation. Arthur moans and his hands angle my head as his tongue slides into mingle with mine.

Thoughts of my captor spring unannounced to the fore front of my brain in that second. His face flashing through my mind turns my stomach. The memory of his tongue conquering my body startles me. I jerk away fighting off the nausea and panting slightly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." Arthur says quickly pulling his hands from me.

In control of myself again I look to him and see the emotions on his face. Everything screams at me, Arthur feels helpless. Reaching I cup his face and pull him forward. I reenact the kiss but he's still tentative and withholds his eagerness.

Disappointed but understanding I draw away, giving a showy yawn. "It's still hours before dawn, lay down with me for a while?" I ask with a smile.

Arthur looks reluctant but doesn't say anything as he leans over to pull off his boots. Some minutes go by before Arthur is on the bed next to me dressed in his night clothes but he's stiff as a board and as far from me as possible.

I understand his actions. His treating me as something fragile and it irritates as well as makes me appreciate him more. Arthur isn't very sensitive when it comes to others feelings but for some reason when it came to me he could sense what I am feeling. The space he gives me is something I need but at the same time I wish he wouldn't back down so easily. At the moment I needed a warm body, I needed the comfort of another person. Someone who would just hold me, Arthur is afraid he will push too much and I will withdraw into myself.

"You don't have to afraid." I say out loud. The room feels too tense for sleep.

Arthur looks over at me with confusion.

"I won't break," I say knowing he'll understand, "I am a mess that much is clear but I'm not as messed up when I'm with you." I chance a glance at him. Arthur's eyes are locked me but he doesn't seem about to speak so I continue.

"I almost didn't believe you wouldn't come for me," I whisper regretting those thoughts, "I never thought you wouldn't try but I know Uther and I knew he would try and stop you. I didn't blame you but when you came for me I felt myself come back and I wanted to fight, to try to be brave." Turning my body towards him I watch the emotions swirl in his eyes.

"Arthur, you make me feel safe. I thought I would never feel that again but I know that you won't let anything happen to me if you can help it. I understand why you are trying to keep your distance but right now…right now…I…I need…" My voice drops away as I look at him for help, "You." I finish breathlessly.

Arthur's blue depths pierce my soul. The smile that spreads across his face is gentle and warm. Slowly he moves towards me until his stable and comforting limps wrap around me. The instant his presences encircles me I feel the tension roll off me. The steady beat of his heart and soft breathing in my ear is like a lullaby. I smile to myself, pressing firmly to the naked chest. My ear is against his heart, hearing the life pulsing through his body. One of his hands tangles in my hair and the other stroke down my back in a comforting manner. I didn't realize what exactly I needed until my body fully relaxes for the first time since returning.

Arthur chuckles softly and kisses my forehead. "You melted like pudding." He teases tightening his arms around me and tangling his legs with mine.

"Needed this." I murmur into his skin and nuzzling his face against his.

He hums and the noise vibrates through me. "Get some sleep Merlin, I'm not going anywhere."

I tilt my head back so I can see his eyes, he looks so happy and content. Stretching up I gingerly kiss his jaw and follow it slowly to his mouth. Arthur's lips seem a little more willing than before a tiny gasp of encouragement is all that I need to apply more pressure.

Arthur pulls away, kissing my cheeks, my eyes, and every space of skin on my face. I close my eyes with his ministrations. His hand on my back slides up to cup my face and inhale deeply, taking the scent that in uniquely Arthur.

"I won't let anything happen to you again." He whispers, sounding like a vow.

My heart clenches and all I can think to say is; "I trust you."

Softly kissing me thoroughly, Arthur pulls away and snuggles into the mattress. "Sleep, now." He says tiredly.

I don't want to but remember Arthur has been up all night talking with his father and has spent the last few days staying up to watch over me. Sighing with contentment I nestle into Arthur and can't think of anywhere I would rather be.