Gus Kinney: Hello everyone i'm back with chapter 8 i call this one What do you want?
"You called, Adrian?" Sebastian smiled down at me and the cloud of hopelessness that had threatened to swallow me quickly disappeared. How the hell did he do that? When I asked him to pop out of the void I didn't mean literally!
"How…" I looked at the door behind him to find it still bolted shut and peered up at him. "What the hell is going on?"
"It's nice to see you too."
I sat up and glared at him. It was nice to know he hadn't become any less avoidance while I was gone. "How the hell did you do that? Don't tell me you can walk through walls."
Sebastian sighed and continued to ignore me. He seemed more concerned about my current state of being than answering any of my questions. "Have you fallen ill again? Don't tell me you have caught what your brother had?"
"What? No, I'm simply protesting?"
He crouched down in front of me and tipped his head to the side in a quizzical manor. "Just what are you protesting?"
I sighed softly and flopped back onto the floor. Sitting up required a lot more energy than I had originally thought. "It doesn't matter now. I can stop."
"Your protest involved me."
"I guess you could say that." I lazily twitched my tail back and forth to some unknown melody floating through my head and closed my eyes. "Before we go, I need you to do something for me."
"I think I'd rather remove you first."
I yawned and shook my head. I knew if that happened Sebastian would just put off listening to me until he had no choice. I may not have been in top condition right now, but my brain was still almost fully functional. Although I did want to sleep most of the time. And doing much more than lying here was exhausting. Right now I could probably fall asleep if Sebastian didn't respond for long enough. "You are going to steal my brother's body. We are then going to go burn it in the woods so he can have a proper burial, and my father can have his pick of what to be angered about: my being gone, or the fact that I am gone with his favorite son's body." I quickly lost interest in the subject and opened my eyes again to ask, "Hey do you know what's going on around here? I haven't seen anybody in ages."
Sebastian sighed and put a hand to his forehead, already seeming frustrated with me. It hadn't even been ten minutes! ...or had it? "I would assume that is because you've been locked in here for quite some time." I got distracted by a moving light on the wall and watched it. It was probably from one of his buttons, but one could never be too careful with such things. Maybe if it gets just a little closer… "Adrian focus."
"I am focused." Just a little more…
"No you aren't." I smack my hand over it and peered back at Sebastian, "What were you saying?"
His eyes flashed pink and he took me into his arms. "We are going home and you are going to eat something before taking a nice long nap."
"I don't want a nap, I want to…" I trailed off as he un clipped the chain from some weird amulet thing and waved it in front of me. "Stop that! I'm trying to…" He dropped it on my chest and pulled it away when I tried grabbing it. "Stop… I'm trying to… stop moving it!"
The room got dark again before it brightened slightly, and Sebastian finally let me have it. Just in case he would try to take it again, I tucked it in my pocket. "Now then. Back to what I was saying… Wait, how did we get here?" I looked around my tower (the one I actually liked being in) confused. I didn't remember leaving. And I was almost certain I would have noticed him dragging me through a portal. "You can't just distract me and then expect me to not notice! I'm not stupid." I place my hand on top of my tail since it couldn't seem to stop moving and I didn't want my point to be made not true by my attention being directed to the movement.
"I never said you were."
"Well you're treating me like I am. And You can't just let me have something shiny and expect me to not get mad. It won't work."
He smiled and removed the necklace from my pocket. "This is yours." Sebastian easily balance me in one arm as he slid the weird trinket over my neck. I couldn't quite make out what it was supposed to be, I recognized the smell of some of the herbs, but I didn't know what it was actually supposed to be. I didn't really excel with herbs either. It was too much of a pain to memorize all the plants.
"Thank you?" I studied the amulet closely, and managed to make out a pentagram mixed in with all the other lines and squiggles mixed in that probably meant something. Not that I would know, the dark arts was far beyond my realm of knowledge. Why was he always doing stuff like this? It didn't make any sense. "How come you're always so nice to me?"
"As opposed to what?" He tried putting me down again, but I wrapped my legs around his waist so he couldn't. Sebastian sighed softly and sat on the edge of the bed.
I shrugged, drawing a blank. People always did things for a reason, that was the first thing I learned...well maybe not the first, walking and talking came first, but it was one of the first. "It's weird, nobody's really done it before. Well Lucas' mom does but she might as well be my mom so I don't think she really counts…"
"I'm sorry to hear that." Sebastian glanced down at me when I put my head on his shoulder but didn't say anything. His eyes were still pink, but I suppose that's how they normally looked. I kinda like them better like this…"Pardon?"
I shook my head slightly and closed my eyes, wondering if I had said that out loud or not. It didn't really seem to matter at this point, Sebastian probably hadn't understood what I was talking about anyway. This time I let Sebastian lay me on the bed, but once he turned to go I impulsively grabbed his wrist. After everything I couldn't bring myself to watch him go. I wasn't ready to be alone yet. "Can't you stay? Just five more minutes, please?"
I intertwined our fingers and peered up at him expectantly. Sebastian crouched in front of me and I managed a small smile. He gently pulled his hand out of mine and brushed back some of my hair. I closed my eyes again when he stroked my cheek. "I'll stay as long as you want me to."
Slipping my fingers in-between his again, I held his hand to the side of my face. My skin warmed from his touch and a familiar rumbling in my chest joined soon after. I could feel myself slipping away, so before I wound up falling asleep I asked, "Will you still be here when I wake up?"
"If that's what you wish."
"Promise?"
He kissed my forehead and I could hear the smile in his voice when he replied, "Of course, I'll stay as long as you want me to."
Even after falling asleep, Adrian wasn't very willing to let my hand go. It took some coaxing and a lot of promises I was most likely about to break. If I left now perhaps it would seem like I had never been gone in the first place, but it was a big stretch. It depended on how long Adrian stayed asleep. I gave his head once final pat before rising and heading for the door. Just in case he did wake up, I wanted Draco to keep an eye on him. Since he seemed so inclined to remain involved with this, he could babysit while I was gone.
Milo wandered in when I opened the door and climbed up onto the bed as if Adrian had never left in the first place. Maybe I shouldn't have let him go, this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't. Adrian's friend didn't seem to think it would be a good idea if he left, even if humans did have their rituals, I'd rather have him sulking in his room than running off and nearly getting himself killed. He's no good to me dead.
Draco was waiting for me at the bottom of the tower steps, if he wasn't standing in a patch of light I could have used the word lurking. He always seemed to be doing that, it didn't seem to matter what was going on. He seemed to be the embodiment of 'seen but not heard'. "You're back."
It wasn't so much of an observation as a statement, meaning someone had come looking for me while I was gone. "Yes, I am. What makes you say that."
One of his snakes hissed but Draco didn't pay them any mind. "Your… protege was looking for you. I said you were back in hell but that obviously isn't the case." His green eyes flicked towards the stairs in acknowledgement.
"I thought you would be happy Adrian is back in one piece." Draco shrugged, not wanting to let me on to his train of thought. "Speaking of Adrian, if he wakes up while I'm gone, make sure he eats something. Not too much, otherwise he'll get sick, and make sure he drinks plenty of water. I doubt he'll wake up anytime soon, but just in case."
"I can't. Have Pyros do it, my father's waiting for me, and I know you like keeping tabs on your underlings."
I sighed softly, but nodded. "Do what you must." Pyros was the last person I wanted to watch Adrian, he was reckless and a bit overenthusiastic, but I didn't have much of a choice. Draco slipped off into the shadows, leaving me to track down Pyros. I suppose I don't have to tell him. Adrian will probably sleep well into the evening and I know I won't be gone that long.
I nodded to myself and opened a portal to Adrian's castle once again, only this time it was in the 'king's' chambers. He started when I suddenly wrapped my hand around his throat, and I felt his pulse start to race beneath my fingers. "Did you really think you'd get away with this?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
His pulse jumped again, although I didn't need to make a note of that to know he was lying. He wasn't keeping his son locked in the tower on a whim. Even if I didn't know what was going on, it was all to easy to squeeze it out of him. Literally and metaphorically. "Don't play stupid, you're already lacking intelligence, no need to pretend you are more stupid than you already are."
Anger flashed in his eyes and he adjusted himself in his chair, straightening up as if he could intimidate me when I was a… muscle twitch away from snapping his neck. "That's not what your son told me. I don't like having my play things taken from me, I'm quite childish in that aspect."
"It's not stealing if he was mine to begin with… I simply… loaned you my son so he would come to his senses. Only he didn't. He even had the gall to say you had already married him. Such a thin wouldn't be recognized anywhere even if it was true."
I lifted him slightly, and forced him to look into my eyes. "Arrogant fool, why would I not take an insurance policy on him? He is mine, and marriage is what it takes for humans to realize such things. I am not your loyal dog, and you would do well to remember that. It'll be a cold day in hell before I allow myself to be used by someone as impudent as you. I assure you, If you so much as think about laying a hand on Adrian again I'll come back and end your pathetic existence and personally drag you down to the depths of hell, am I clear."
His heart skipped a few beats, and he made some pathetic choking sound, but it may have been from briefly cutting off his airway. Nothing a few deep breaths couldn't cure, and my point was made.
Releasing him, I stepped back and smiled, "It's nice to know we're on the same page. Don't be surprised if your son's body goes missing."
"You can't-
He started when I opened my eyes and inched his chair back towards the wall. "What can't I do?"
"Nothing, I said nothing." He laughed nervously and I phased through the wall. Stupid human. I should burn this place to the ground.
I turned when Sebastian opened the door and yawned, still groggy from my somewhat nap. I hadn't been able to fall asleep since I found Sebastian gone. "You lied."
He paused, seeming to briefly wonder what he had lied about. Geez, how much truth stretching does he do? Sebastian smiled when he sat on the edge of the bed and brushed some of my hair back. His eyes roamed over my face, but he didn't seem to find anything there upsetting, and his eyes softened slightly. "I thought I'd make something for you to eat."
I sighed softly, and idly twitched the tip of my tail. Sebastian probably thought this was the first time I had woken up. "Pyros already tried, but I wasn't in the mood to ea. Where'd you go?"
I grabbed his hand, wanting something to do with my own hands, and waited for a response. He seemed a bit surprised, then his eyes flashed red for a moment, then he coolly replied, "I went to retrieve your brother. Then I went to start your dinner." Humming thoughtfully, I started tracing the lines on his mark. Something told me that wasn't all he went to do, but asking going to get me an answer. "Why didn't you eat anything?"
I shrugged, trying to come up with an excuse. I was still exhausted when he came in, I wanted to sleep not eat. The grapes he had brought me were still sitting on the nightstand. I had drank some water though. "I didn't really want grapes. They aren't on my list of preferred fruits."
"Do you want me to get you something else."
"If you're making dinner why would I eat now? Unless you aren't really making it."
Sebastian glared at me, and sighed, pulling his hand away to cup my face between them. "Because you haven't eaten in three days and your body needs time to adjust."
There's still something he's not telling me… Purposely not cooperating, I propped one of my legs up and swayed it back and forth. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"I don't think so."
He let out an irritated huff and explained, "You have been gone four days. One of them was needed to reach your castle."
I smirked and grabbed his hand again, "I know, I was just testing you. I didn't think you'd really notice I was gone." I paused briefly, trying to gauge his reaction, but there didn't seem to me one. Sebastian's red-brown eyes narrowed slightly but that was about it. "I guess I was wrong."
"Why would I not notice?"
I shrugged again, not wanting to dwell on the subject. I didn't think he was serious about all that 'call me if you need me' stuff. I had to give him credit out of everything he's promised that seemed to be the only thing he kept consistent. "What are you making?"
He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair, occasionally rubbing one of my ears. "Now who's the one changing the subject?"
I bit my bottom lip, wondering where he was going with this. "You?"
"Nonsense." He reached over me and pulled a grape from the bunch and fed it to me. I felt I didn't have much of a choice, so even if I didn't want it saying no wasn't an option.
After I had swallowed, I replied, "I like them better peeled."
"Is that so?"
I nodded and closed my eyes as Sebastian peeled a couple grapes for me. He had been right about not eating something. I could already feel the strength returning to my limbs. Although it didn't mean I didn't want to go to sleep again. "Did you miss me?"
"Yes."
"You didn't need to think much about that one huh."
"Why should I have to think about it? It's been far too quiet around and I feared for Milo's safely since Draco was letting his vipers roam the house."
I felt my eyes widen and sat up. I hadn't heard anything in here all day, but still. Could snakes even climb stairs? Sebastian smiled and peered over at me. "They're all back where they belong."
"Still…" I put my head in his lap and peered up at him. My stomach had started to hurt again and food was the last thing I wanted. Sebastian rested his hand on top of mine and I could feel his eyes on me. How come he isn't petting me anymore? His fingers running through my hair was relaxing and I wasn't quite ready to go to sleep yet. Nobody else had really done it before… although I would never really let anybody touch me. They always tried pulling on my ears, or my tail if it wasn't tucked in. It was annoying. For awhile I wore hats, but those only worked so well. "Aren't you going to pet me some more?"
"Perhaps."
Sebastian gazed down at me for a few moments, giving no indication if his answer was going to be a yes or a no. Sighing softly, I grabbed his hand and held it against my face for a few moments. He's awfully warm. "Now?"
"Maybe." What else is there? Slowly sitting up, I draped my arms around his neck and rested my forehead against his. This was as close as I could possibly dare to get to him. At times Sebastian still scared me. I knew I had barely scraped the surface of seeing what he was capable of and if he got his way I'd probably never see all of it.
"Now?"
"Closer." What does he want me to kiss him or something? I felt my heart pounding in my chest and my face turned red. What the hell was I supposed to do? I haven't ever kissed someone. Well… Lucas that one time… but it was a bet and we each got six silver pieces out of it. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. If I could hear my heart then he definitely could. This is so embarrassing.
I slipped my hands into his hair and closed the rest of the space between us. He seemed startled at first, but didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the small of my back and pull me against his chest. What the hell am I doing? This was a horrible idea. Leaning just out of reach, I managed a small smile and asked, "How was that?"
He brushed one of his fingers along the side of my face, "Perfect." I buried my face in his neck and waited for him to run his fingers through my hair again. I wound up purring before he even started, being this close to him put me at ease. So much that it scared me. What the hell does he see in me?
I was almost asleep when Sebastian tried putting me down, but i kept my arms wrapped around him and groggily asked, "Where are you going?"
"I have to check on something, I'll be right back."
Opening my eye enough to let the light in I asked, "Like what?"
He sighed softly and gently kissed me. "Something that doesn't concern you at this present moment. I'll be back before you wake up."
"I'll only fall for that line once today. Try again."
Sebastian kissed me again and rested his forehead against mine. "I'll be right back." I sighed softly but let my arms fall to my side. He was going to go whether or not i was conscious. At least now I couldn't be surprised if I woke up and he still wasn't here. "Why don't you send Milo up here while you're at it." I paused as he climbed off the bed and added, "He doesn't leave me in the middle of the night."
Sebastian glanced back after opening the door, his eyes flashing pink and a devilish smirk plastered across his face. "How do you know I don't watch you sleep?"
I fell silent and frowned up at the ceiling. He didn't really mean that did he? I mean, I'd know if he watched me… wouldn't I? I wiggled my way under the blankets and most of the pillows before closing my eyes again. If he wanted to watch me he could stare at a pile of breathing blankets.
I waited for Adrian to get settled again before heading downstairs. It was just starting to get dark, so I could probably wake him up again afterwards need be. That little brat could be trusted enough to not mess with Adrian, but I wanted to get rid of his as soon as possible. I left him in charge so it would keep him busy and get him out of my business. After all this time he was still attached to me. I found his soul more interesting than him personally, but then he got turned, and I wanted nothing to do with him. I had done my part by taking responsibility and teaching him how to be human again, but that was as far as I was going to go. If I had it my way I would have drowned the little bastard half a century ago.
When I found him he was poking around in the library, or wandering as he liked to call it. WE both knew he was lying, but there wasn't much point calling each other on our bluffs. We'd be sitting there for ages. "How's playing house going?"
I leaned against a nearby bookcase and shrugged. Monotonous yes, but Adrian had brought a little excitement here without destroying everything he touched. "That depends on what you're next question is."
He sighed and turned, shoving a random book back onto the shelf, out of place no doubt. "I just came to see if the rumors were true or not, and it looks like they are."
"Oh really? And just what might these 'rumors' consist of?"
"Your new pet." I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later. Word travels fast when high ranking demons are getting involved with humans… even faster when that human isn't entirely human.
"What about my new 'pet'?"
Ciel shrugged disinterestedly, and continued to wander around the room, like he had been sent here as a messenger. "Nothing much. There's a pool in place on whether or not you're going to turn him I just came to get an… advantage."
"You started it didn't you."
He rolled his red eyes, "as if I'd bother with something so tedious. It's just fun to watch the others watch you. I'd like to know the answer to the riddle before everyone else."
"What makes this any of your business?"
Ciel beamed, turning to face me. "Nothing, that's the beauty of this interaction. The sooner you answer the sooner you can return to him."
"Who even said there was someone else here?"
I met Ciel's condescending glare with a cheerful smirk. It was always good to show him just how little I expected out of him. It kept him in line. "Don't talk down to me Sebastian, I can feel him here."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Positive." His eyes flashed pink and he folded his arms over his chest. I didn't think he'd ever manage to get that one under control. He had too short of fuse when it came to anything relating to himself.
"Even so, that's none of your concern. And at the present moment, even if I was going to turn him, he's in no condition to do so. I wouldn't want him to perish during such a ceremony."
Ciel's eyes narrowed and he shrugged. "Fine, but I'm taking that as a yes. I know you well enough to know you aren't keeping him here because you are fond of his soul."
"I can give you that much, but don't think you can make a habit out of popping up whenever you feel like it. It's quite rude."
"No promises, but I think I'll restrict my visits to night time. We wouldn't want to scare him off." Ciel vanished in a swirl of shadows and dark energy, leaving me standing there in the now empty room. I was a bit surprised that things went so smoothly. What ever was going on must have put him in a pretty good mood. Or he was plotting something. I wouldn't doubt the latter but he wouldn't try anything while I was here, and I didn't plan on letting Adrian out of my sight any time soon.
I stopped off in the kitchen and pulled the pot out of the fire before returning to him. Even if he was sleeping, he seemed intent on me being there. My little comment about watching him sleep didn't seem to phase him at all.
I lingered in front of the castle doors for several minutes, keeping a watchful eye on the seemingly empty courtyard. It had been several minutes since anybody had passed by last, but I didn't want to risk another encounter with any of the servants children. Mother couldn't keep replacing her handmaidens because their children couldn't behave, so didn't tell her about last time. I hate this. Why can't I just stay inside? Matt gets to sit inside all day reading his stupid books. So why can't I?
Slowly stepping off the stairs, I hesitantly made my way towards the large tree in the center of the open space. I could climb up, take a nap, then go back inside saying I had had my fill out outside for the day. Tomorrow I would definitely go back to hiding in the passages after lessons.
About half way across the courtyard I caught some movement out of the corner of my eyes, before something hit me in the head and knocked me off balance. Before I could gain my bearings again, a bunches of kids were pulling on me. Pain shot up the length of my back as they yanked on my tail and I could barely move let alone try to make them stop. Tears streamed down the sides of my face as I tried making myself seem smaller, only then did the group circle around me. "You're not a real prince! Mama says you're just a warlocks bastard."
A low growl escaped me and I grabbed the rock they had thrown at me, and tossed it back with twice the force. Blood started to trickle down the boys face as I tucked my tail into my pants and slowly got to my feet. His friends threw me back on the ground and kicked me a few more times, until someone finally realized what was going on and told them off.
Taking a deep breath I slowly sat up again and waited to Matt to come over. He tipped my face to the side, and studied my already forming black eye. "You shouldn't have hit him back."
"He threw a rock at me!"
"That's not the point." He sighed and used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe some dirt and possibly blood from my face, before crouching down before me. "They just don't understand what's going on. Lashing out isn't going to make them stop."
"It'll make them stop throwing rocks at me." I folded my arms over my chest and felt my ears flatten against my head in distaste. What did he know? My brother was a human as human got. He didn't have to deal with not being able to leave their own bedroom without having people stare at them.
"Violence is never the answer."
"It is when they're already being violent. You don't use pen when someone pulls a sword on you. You draw your own sword."
"Adrian, be patient. One day someone will grow as fond of your traits as I have."
Frowning down at the ground I shook my head and asked, "how can you even say something like that? You have no idea what it's like! I don't want to be like this, if I had a choice I'd cut them both off! I hate this! I wish I hadn't even been born!"
Matt tried grabbing my arm, but I pulled away and stormed back inside. He still hadn't found all my hiding places, and today I was going to make sure to go somewhere he wouldn't be able to find me.
Something warm pressing against my forehead woke me up. I opened my eyes to find Sebastian sitting there with the blankets pulled back. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards slightly, before he leaned forward and kissed me again. "Are you awake?"
I hesitated briefly, before draping my arms around his neck and nodding slightly. "I am now."
"Good." In one motion he picked me up and placed me on the floor. "We're going for a walk."
I crinkled my nose in distaste, but Sebastian had already grabbed my hand and was gently leading me towards the door. I didn't wake up for a walk. I didn't want to go back to sleep either, but still, walking left me exhausted. "How did you sleep?"
I shrugged, not wanting to dwell on my dream. It felt too much like my brother was trying to talk to be from beyond the grave, and I didn't want to think about that. How could he even say that if he knew what lay in store for me? Maybe he thought it was all I was capable of. "I do a lot of sleeping. I'd be less cooperative if I didn't have a somewhat pleasant experience."
"I shall keep that in mind then." Sebastian easily made his way through the dark hallways, and I stuck close to him. I ma have been able to see in the dark a bit better than others, but my night vision wasn't this advanced. Must be another perk of being a demon.
As we entered the kitchen Sebastian lit the hearts in the corner along with the chandelier over head and placed a warm bowl of soup in front of my and pulled me into his lap. "Now you're going to eat something."
I sighed softly and swirled the spoon around in the bowl thoughtfully. I wasn't really hungry… Well I might have been, but I didn't really feel like eating. With Sebastian sitting there, resting his chin on top of my head I didn't have much of a choice. After I took a small bite, his long arms arms wrapped around me. What's gotten into him? He's acting weird.
"What's wrong?"
"Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing."
"What do you mean?" I tilted my head back and gazed up at him, hoping the gesture in itself didn't require more explanation. Although Sebastian didn't seem to think so. "Pardon?"
"I'm in your lap."
"Do you dislike being here?"
A soft sighed escaped me and I slowly explained, "that's not what I meant. You're acting like I'm about to follow my brother or something."
Sebastian's eyes widened slightly, but he kissed my forehead and ignored my question. "Of course not. You're reading too far into this. What's wrong with wanting to embrace my soon-to-be husband?"
Nothing I said would have changed his mind. Whatever Sebastian had in mind, he was planning on doing it soon. Maybe he was testing the waters to see what he'd be able to get away with. I still wasn't entirely sure I wanted to go through with this. I knew I wasn't as opposed to the idea as before, but I had no idea what was to follow. Normally I'd have no problem with just taking a plunge into the unknown, but now? This wasn't just deciding to hop on a boat and take a vacation. I'd be with Sebastian for the rest of my life and I wasn't ready to make that sort of commitment. It's way too early for this.
Sebastian seemed content that I had eaten at least half the bowl, when I decided I was done. "Am I allowed to go back to bed now?"
"Of course." He took me into his arms again, and carried me back upstairs. There was still something he wasn't telling me, I could feel it, but what was I supposed to ask about? Saying something along the lines of 'what aren't you telling me' could get an answer ranging from something I actually wanted to know to a 'not right now' and getting led into an entirely different subject. Why does talking to him have to be so hard? Out of all the difficult people I have had to deal with, Sebastian was the worst by far. But I still stuck to him. He was just about the only person who could actually hold a conversation. Draco too, but he still scared me. I had no idea what he was up to either, but he was more honest.
"What's wrong?" I shook my head and rested my head on his shoulder. There wasn't even any way to begin thinking about answering his question. Nothing was wrong, but at the same time it felt like something was. I just didn't know what. Or maybe, something would be wrong. Maybe not now, but soon. "Are your sure?"
"I guess…" He laid me on my bed and climbed over me, brushing back my hair so he could see my face better.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
I rubbed my face with my hands, and tried to get my brain to work. I was fine earlier. One stupid dream couldn't have done that much damage. "I don't know."
"Why do you say that?"
I pressed my face into the palm of his hand and stared just past him. "It's true? I don't know or understand what's going on and I probably never will. Sitting here with you isn't going to change that."
"What's there to understand?"
Taking a slow, deliberate breath, I propped myself up on my elbows and asked, "why me?"
Sebastian hesitated. I wondered if he even had a reason for all of this in the first place. Maybe he didn't. Hell, he could have just been bored and decided he was going to toy around with me until he got bored again. I couldn't put him above it. "We're compatible."
"Based on what? We barely know each other."
He sighed and thoughtfully stroked my cheek."I can see your soul."
"So, you're interested in my soul…"
"The vessel is important as well. Without it you'd just be memories and emotions floating through the void. Nobody but us and reapers would see you." What is he saying? What does my soul have to do with this?
"You still aren't making any sense."
"To you, no. I'm not surprised. Take my word for it."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're always doing things like this! You ask me something but don't even bother answering me when I ask a question. This isn't how things are supposed to work!"
He seemed genuinely confused as to why I was getting upset, and rested his forehead against mine, in attempts to keep me calm. "How are they supposed to work?"
Why does he have to be so close? My mind went blank and any answer I could have given him was long gone. There wasn't anything I could really explain. I hadn't ever been like this with anyone, so how was I supposed to know how things worked? Maybe this actually was right, and I was the one who needed a reality check.
"Forget it."
"I don't want to, this obviously means something to you."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Adrian please." I started when I met his longing gaze and felt my eyes widen. "Tell me what you want."
I don't know, thats the problem. "Just…" My chest hurts… what is he doing to me? I wanted to push him away and return to having that familiar distance between us, but I didn't want to go back to that. He was too close. I tilted my chin up slightly, trying not to stare at him lips for too long. I had done this earlier on a whim, so why did it feel so hard now? Am I overthinking this? You can't just lie there, do something.
Closing my eyes, I buried my fingers in his hair and closed the painfully small space between us. Sebastian moved his hand to my side and pulled me against his chest. I whimpered softly when he suddenly pulled away, concern flashing in his eyes as he moved his hands to my face. "Adrian, don't cry. Am I hurting you?"
"I'm not…" Sebastian wiped a few tears from the sides of my face with his thumb and pulled back as far as I would let him go. "I'm fine."
He kissed the tip of my nose before unlacing my fingers from behind his head and sliding to the floor. "Perhaps it's best that I go. We can talk later, and it's getting late."
"Please don't go. I want you to stay."
He took a step back when I reached for his hand, calmly stating, "I don't think that would be wise."
"But, you said…" How can he just leave? Does he really not understand what's going on?
He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back a few times before turning for the door. "Give it some time."
"I don't want to." I looked up to find him gone, and I was left sitting in the empty darkness. He didn't just do that right? He was going to come back, He has to.
Falling backwards I hugged my knees to my chest and stared at the wall, fully aware of how much I was crying. My chest tightened and suffocating wave of loneliness washed over me. I didn't want to be alone. I spent practically my whole life like that. So why now? Why did the only person who I actually trusted feel the need to keep leaving. All I ever did was watch people walk away. It had never mattered before but now that I actually wanted someone to stay I had no idea what to do. Was I supposed to just let them go? Should I have said something? Was there even anything I was supposed to have said? I can't do anything right. I should have just let my father ship me away. Sebastian wouldn't have realized until a few months later. Maybe I could have forgotten all about him by then. The mark on my neck was the only thing that I couldn't get rid of.
Who just does that? What did he think was going to happen? I don't know how to handle things like this. Milo pawed the door open and jumped onto the bed next to me, purring. What? He can't handle me so he sends his cat? He tried to worm his way against my chest, but I didn't let him, leaving the cat to figure out where its new spot would be. This was once peace offering I wasn't going to accept. Sebastian wasn't going to get away with this one, not this time. He had put an innocent in the middle of this. Whatever this was supposed to be called now. He called me his husband, then just left when I needed him. I knew I wouldn't have been able to get away with the same thing, but as of now I was no longer speaking to him. Aside from telling him my brother was getting a proper sendoff.
The setting sun painted the crumbling stone structure with various shades of gold and orange. The air hummed with electricity and there seemed to be a strange presences watching over it. With all the animals roaming around in the shadows, one couldn't help but to assume it was a positive one. Strange for Sebastian, but he was still traipsing across thin ice without a care in the world. If he had one, he certainly wasn't showing it.
The wooden structure in the center of the room burst into flames, startling me. I glared back at Sebastian, bud didn't say anything as I sat on the ground nearby and hugged my knees to my chest. "I'll be back to collect you. Don't get into trouble, and don't talk to strangers."
I rolled my eyes and rested my chin on my knees. Once I was sure he was gone I took a deep breath and stared into the flames. This was it, The last time I'd ever see my brother and I couldn't even think of anything to say. Was I even supposed to say anything? Would he want me to? We may not have been buddy buddy recently, but he didn't deserve this. I always thought I'd be the one to die like this. I never really heeded any warning about getting sick or keeping my wounds clean. Maybe that was why I never got sick.
Everything he could have accomplished was just gone. Once I was gone nobody would even remember him anymore. He might as well have been a ghost at that point. That's going to be me someday. Nothing more than a pile of ash and bone with no mark on the world. Nobody would have realized I was gone, or cared. The memories would die out and I might as well have not been here at all. How was I even supposed to tell this was real, or even mattered? I could be stuck in some eternal punishment and things were only going to get worse. Why did any of this matter?
Weren't we all just going to do the same thing eventually? The end of the line came at some point, and if you were just going to slip away unnoticed why bother? The only person who hadn't given up on me was gone so why did anything else matter?
A cold numbness slowly spread through me, seeping into every part of my body imaginable. I could feel or really think. It was like I was shutting down. I didn't even know why. The heat from the inferno before me did nothing. If anything feeling the hot air surrounding me made it worse. The only way I knew I hadn't fallen asleep or drifted off completely was feeling my tail occasionally twitch from where it was tucked away. What's wrong with me?
At some point I flopped to the side and remained on the uneven stone, not able to find the will, or strength to move. The world slowly grew dark around me, but I couldn't leave. I kept trying to come up with something to say to him other than goodbye, but it was impossible. He might as well have been a complete stranger. Did anyone ever know what to say at these things? A funeral wasn't really something you could plan for. Even if the person was terminally ill sometimes they liked to cling to the hope that they weren't going to die. "Adrian, you can't stay out here all night. It's cold."
I ignored Sebastian, but shifted into a sitting position and draped the blanket he had given me around my shoulders. Even holding the fabric between my fingers I couldn't really feel it. It was there, but at the same time not. "Just how long do you think you can keep going like this?"
I shrugged, refusing him the satisfaction of a verbal reply. He had yet to do anything to even try to understand what was going on and I wasn't going to bother. You don't just ask someone what they want and ignore them when they give you an answer. He was about to be on the receiving end of his backwards logic. "You're acting like a child."
I am a child.
He wrapped his arms around me suddenly, and I could feel the warmth slowly returning to me. But at the same time I realized he was right about it being cold and involuntarily pressed my back against his chest. I'm not going to do this again. "I'm sorry." He tilted his head back when I still didn't say anything, and studied my face. "Don't be mad anymore." I'm not going to talk. "Adrian, please say something."
There wasn't anything to say. I wasn't going to accept or deny his apology. I shivered again and Sebastian quickly tucked me against his chest, and closed the blanket around me. "You're going to get sick. You've been pushing yourself too hard."
"Why do you care?"
He seemed startled and his grip on me tightened slightly, like he was anticipating me trying to get away from his. "What do you mean 'why'?"
"You just left me there. Everything you do doesn't match what you say and I can't keep up anymore! I told you what I wanted and I still didn't get it."
Sebastian stroked the sides of my face and closed his eyes for a few seconds, thinking. "I could have handled things better, but you scared me. I thought I had done something."
"I told you you didn't."
"That's something you'd say even if I had."
"Take me back, I'm tired." Sebastian didn't make any attempt to move and rested his forehead against mine once more. Whatever he was selling I didn't want any. It hurt too much, "Why bother, you're just going to leave again."
"Then tell me to stay."
"I already did that." I leaned back and started to take the blanket off. I refused to spend any more time in his arms than I had to. Not any more. He pinned me against the ground, and his eyes slowly turned pink. I tried squirming my way out from under him to no avail. "Get off of me."
"Do it again."
"No."
"I'm not moving." What's he going to do? We can't stay like this forever.
"Why should I have to repeat myself?"
It was Sebastian's turn to remain silent, but he didn't seem to be angry, frustrated maybe? What had he been doing that I wasn't aware of? He easily turned onto his back when I shoved him over, but he took me with him. He laced his fingers behind the small of my back and waited.
His eyes quickly returned to their normal color when I started crying in frustration, and he started to sit up, "I didn't-
"Stay."
"What?"
"Promise me you'll stay with me." He nodded and gazed up at me when I placed my hands on either side of his face. "You have to say it."
"I'll stay." I pulled him into a kiss, wanting to stay there for as long as I could. But the weather had other ideas, because the temperature seemed to drop drastically when I slipped my fingers into his soft hair, "We should go."
He kissed me a few more times before standing and bundling me up again, promising I could do what I liked once we got back and I was warm again.
Gus Kinney: damn that was a great chapter i need to tell you all something chapter 9 will be the last one it will make since love you all until the end goodbye
