sOk…..I got get this outta the way before anything else, I am not a sexist or racist person, like the previous chapters, the jokes made in this fan fiction, are made for comedic purposes only, and if you believe there is something really offensive, don't hesitate to tell me.

Disclaimer: what makes you think that anyone apart from SEGA would ever own Sonic and co.?...apart from drugs

Chapter 8: Time For A Change

"TAILS…FOR GOD SAKE, YOU'RE BEING UNREASONABLE" yelled Sonic at the two tailed fox who stood defiantly in front of the blue hedgehog

"Look Sonic" said Tails "I've made my decision, and that's what's gunna happen……nothing else"

"Yeah……but a sex change…..don't you reckon that's just a bit too much"

"I agree with dipshit on this one" said Sonic's conscience "what's so wrong with your life that makes you wanna get a sex change anyway….did you kill someone or something?"

"No" said Tails "women just live better lives than men, and I want a better life"

"For god sake" Sonic said again "AMY!"

A loud "WHAT!!!!" came from the kitchen

"Get out here Amy" called Sonic "I need your help"

Amy emerged from the kitchen, "what's wrong?"

"Tails" said Sonic's conscience

Amy looked at Tails, "what about him?"

"he wants to get a sex change Amy……talk him out of it would ya?...I'm getting no where with him"

Amy glanced at Tails, who just nodded to confirm Sonic's statement, she then walked to the couch, sat down, and patted the spot next to her to tell Tails to sit there

Tails sat next to Amy and looked at her, waiting for her to ask the question he knew she was going to ask

"Ok Tails" said Amy calmly "why do you want a sex change?"

Tails was silent for a moment "I'm envious of your lifestyle Amy"

"Envious?...why"

"Girls just have it better off than boys do Amy……and you know it"

"Oh come on Tails. Don't be stupid……..how is a woman's life better than a man's?"

"You really want me to tell you?" asked Tails

"Sure I do, because I'm an expert on living a girl's life, so I could point out any mistakes you make"

"Yeah………well….to begin with Women can get sex anytime they want"

"Oh come on Tails" said Amy "is that all you got?"

"You got all day?" asked Tails, indicating that he indeed have more

"Sure do"

"This should be interesting"

"Well………

Women never have to buy their own drinks at the bar

Women urinate sitting down so it's easier to pass out on the toilet when they're drunk

Women get out of speeding tickets by crying

Women get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage

Women can sleep their way to the top of the class

Women can marry rich men and then not have to work

Women never have to pay when they go out on dates

Men take women on all expenses paid trips and all women have to do is sleep with them

Men light cigarettes for women

Men hold the door open for women

Women are cuter

Women pout better

Women lie better

Women are better manipulators

Women always end up sleeping in the bed when they fight with their other halves. The guy gets the couch

Women always have food in the fridge

Women don't worry about losing their hair

Women always get to choose the movie

Women don't have to mow the lawn

Women don't have to take out the garbage

Women don't have to paint the house or walls

PMS is yet another excuse to bitch at men

Women can dig their way out of anything, not just dig themselves deeper into a hole

The men unlocks the women's side of the car first - a real bonus when it's cold

PMS as a legal defense for murder

Men are like tiles: lay them right the first time, you can then walk all over them forever

Women can masturbate more times in one day than men

Multiple orgasms

Women don't have to constantly adjust their genitals

Cosmopolitan

Sweat is sexy on women

Women never run out of excuses

Guys may get to think about sex 200 hundred times a day, but women could be having it that often

Doggy style – that way women get to watch the movie too

Women get expensive jewelry as gifts that they never have to get back

And women get any candy and jewelry all the time because men screw up so often

Women are cleaner

Women have more than one erogenous zone

Women are better arguers

Women don't always have to think with their genitals

Massage!

Women are better parents

Women never have to sit alone on a weekend night

There is never a shortage of ready willing and able men

Women are flexible

When women get mad they don't destroy property or people they just take it out on the world in general because women can

Menopause – thank god women are not capable of having children after the age of 50

Menstruation as just another excuse for women to say no to sex

Men in uniform

There is no penis envy

Women can roll over and go to sleep after they masturbate because there's no mess to clean up

It generally takes less to get women drunk

Women have a higher tolerance to pain

Women often get to cut in line

Most women actually look good in short shorts – men don't

Women don't wear underwear are considered sexy and while men do and it's considered rather disgusting

Women have mastered civilized eating. They don't embarrass friends or make loud bodily noises in public

Women can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return

Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting – thank god for long pants and perfume!

Women can connive me into doing their homework; writing their papers or carrying their books anytime they want

Men walk on the side of the footpath closest to the road, so if a car swerves onto the footpath, he gets hurt first

Women sweat less

Women smell better

When a women makes their boyfriend mad. They don't have to spend money on flowers or cards – sex fixes all

Men are more often the serial killers and rapists

Women don't get the humor in the three stooges

Women have 3 accessible holes

Women don't get embarrassed when buying tampons

Women are better gossips

Women have better fashion sense

Women are better shoppers

Women don't have to make a fool out of themselves to impress a man

Women's friend don't pick on them if they aren't sleeping with anyone

Women know how to fake it

Men don't know what 'girl talk' is all about (and never will)

When women are sitting on a goldmine, they know how to use it to their full advantage

Women don't have to drive when on a date

An ugly woman can use make up and get a new hair-do and become presentable. Ugly men are just ugly men

Women can use that old 'that mark on my neck is from a curling iron' line

Women look better naked

Women know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to dancing

When women are short, they are petite. When men are short, they are just short

Women do less for violent crime

Women don't have to worry about not being able to get it up

An oblong vegetable is all women needs for a good time any night

Women's conversations consist of more that just: 'uh huh, yep, ok then, bye'

Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood

The remote control is not an extension of themselves

Women are sexier

And finally……….. Women can get sex ANYTIME, ANYWHERE and ANY WAY they want it"

Amy sat there stunned. As did Sonic and his conscience

"Wow……I never knew my life was so……………..so………………so………….."

"It's PERFECT" shouted Tails throwing his hands into the air "now you know why I want to be a girl"

"Look Tails……just think about it for a second……a man's life isn't all that bad either. I mean…………you've been a guy everyday of your life so far……….why change it?"

"Yeah Tails" added Amy after Sonic's conscience "there's gotta be plenty of great reasons to be a guy……….uh…….right Sonic?"

"Of course there is"

"Oh yeah." Said Tails "like what?"

"Ok then…well……….

A 5 day vacation requires only 1 suitcase

You can open all of your own jars

You don't need a support group to go to the bath room

You can leave a hotel bed unmade

You get extra credit for the smallest act of thoughtfulness

Sex means never having to worry about your reputation

You don't have to shave below your neck

If your 34 and still single, no one notices

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat of your car

Chocolate is just another snack

Flowers fix everything

You can eat a banana in a hardware store

One mood all the time

You can whip your shirt off on a hot day

You never feel compelled to stop a friend getting laid

The world is your urinal

With 400 million sperm in one shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 loads, in theory at least"

There was a short pause

"Is that all you got?" asked Tails

"Well……at the moment….yeah.. That's it."

"That's nothing compared to what I just said Sonic"

"Yeah……I know"

"You wanna know what sucks about being a guy?" asked Tails

"Not really" said Sonic

"I do" said Amy "I might understand your problem better"

"Ok then" said Tails

Tails begun his reasons as to why a man's life sucks

"External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs

Even if you get your head stuck in an industrial wood chipper, you not allowed to cry

Ribbed for HER pleasure…..not yours

You have to wear ties

You can't flirt your way out of a jam

Women and children first

"Wow…..I never thought a man would have so many problems"

"Come on Tails…don't do it…………who am I gunna hang out with?"

"You can still hang out with me Sonic…I'll just be a girl"

"But I don't hang out with girls" said Sonic

"You soon will be" said Tails "I'm having the sex change"

"Tails…." Said Amy softly

"Huh??"

"Whatever you do……….. I'll stand by your decision……..besides………….I could always use some girl company around here"

"Thanks Amy" said Tails who then gave Amy a hug

"God dammit Tails" said Sonic's conscience "you might as well get your self a new nationally while you're at it"

"…….actually Sonic……that's not such a bad idea…………Amy……..wanna help me decide what nationality to be?" asked Tails

"Sure……….I've always wanted a foreign friend"

"Uh……ok…….what about French?"

"French?"

"What are some good reasons for being French Amy?"

"Uh……oh…….well:

When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay

Experience the joy of winning the world cup after the first time, after drugging the competition

You get to eat insects

If there is a war you can surrender really early

You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films

You can test your nuclear weapons in other people's countries

You can be ugly and still be a famous actor

And people think you're a great lover, even when your not"

"Hmm….that's ok…….what's another nationality?"

"What about American?" suggested Amy

"Hmm…….ok……..let's see………good reasons for being American……………………………………

You can have a woman president without electing her

You can spell the word 'colour' wrong and get away with it

You can call Budweiser beer

You can be a crook, and still be president

If you have enough money you can get elected to do anything

If you can breathe, you can get a gun

You get to be really obese

You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made, and no one ever notices

You get to call everyone you've never met buddy

You can think you're the greatest nation on earth

When you're not

At all

Beats being Canadian

"They're some pretty good reasons I guess" said Tails

"How bout English" suggested Sonic's conscience

"English……you mean British English"

"Yeah"

"Hmm…….what's good about the English Amy?" asked Tails

"English………uh let's see:

Warm beer

You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket

Spotted dick

You can accept defeat graciously after losing major sporting events

Union jack underpants

Water shortages guaranteed every single summer

You can live in the past and still believe you are a world power

Bathing once a week – whether you need it or not

Ditto changing underwear

Beats being welsh

Or Scottish"

"English doesn't sound too bad…………but what else is there?"

"How about Italian?" suggested Sonic

"Hey……yeah…Italian…….Whad'ya think Tails" asked Amy

"Hmm…..Italian" pondered Tails "lets see……..what's good about Italians?...oh….I know:

Italian

In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes

Not embarrassed to wear fur

No need to worry about tax returns

Glorious military history prior to 400 AD

You can wear sunglasses inside

Political stability

Flexible working hours

Live near the pope

Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair

Country run by Sicilian murderous"

"Italian doesn't sound bad either" said Tails

"How bout New Zealand?"

"Uh……ok……….what's good in New Zealand?" asked Tails

"……………………………………………………………………."

"……………………………………………………………………."

"Ok………..how about Indian?" asked Sonic

"What's good about India?" asked Amy

"Too easy" said Sonic's conscience

"Ok then…..please explain"

"Well………..there's

Dosai

Chicken madras

Lamb passanda

Onion bahji

Bombay potato

Chicken tikka masala

Rojan josh

Pappadams

Chicken dopiazza

Meat boona

"I think you should go have some lunch Sonic" said Amy

"…….what about welsh then?" suggested Sonic

"Welsh"

"You're kidding right?"

"Uh….of course I was…….heh heh……….what I meant to say was…………..uh……………..I…………I uh…………………….oh, Irish"

"All right then" said Amy "know anything good about the Irish?"

"Let's see" said Tails "well……….there's:

Guinness

18 children

You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road

Pubs never close

No one can ever remember the night before

Stew

More Guinness

Eating stew and drinking Guinness in a pub at three in the morning after a large bout of sectarian violence

"Eh……that's more for men" said Amy

"Sounds good to me "said Sonic

Amy and Tails ignored Sonic's comment

"What's something different?" Asked Tails "something………uncommon"

"South African?" suggested Sonic's conscience

"Hey………now that is good……..there's some cool stuff about South Africans" said Amy

"There is?" said Tails "like what?"

"Well….." began Amy

"…………Being able to win the world cub rugby the first time you enter the competition

Get to eat raw dried meat, and call it a treat

Stable and politically safe economy

Think that gays only live outside the country

Having a flag that looks more like Joseph's Technicolor dream coat

Having 11 official languages and only being able to speak one

Having an ex-convict as your president

Having one of the most honest postal services in the world

Being able to charge tourists to visit places of unrest

You can drive drunk

"Uh…….I knows…………I like to be surrounded by technology……..South Africa just isn't right for me"

"How's about Canada then?" asked Sonic sarcastically

"Yeah…you could be Canadian"

"Well….might as well think about what's good about them then"

"Allow me" said Sonic's conscience

"It beats being American

Where else can you travel over 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

A political leader can admit to smoking pot, and his/her popularity will rise

Kill grizzly bears with huge 'fuck off' shot guns and then hang the skin all over your house"

"uh……..I don't think I wanna be a Canadian either………" said Tails "I don't know what nationality I wanna be….maybe I'll just stay the way I am………..I'll just get the sex change…..I'll be happy then"

Tails got up and headed to the door……….but was blocked by Sonic…..holding a very familiar handgun, which was pointed right between his eyes

"Wait a sec…….." said Amy "that's shadow's gun!"

"Tails…….you get that sex change……….and I'll put a bullet right between that genius brain of yours"

"God dammit"

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Author's Notes: now for this ending. I'll let you use your imagination as to what happens next……….once again…I'm not a racist or sexist person………I just use certain things for humor…….as would everyone else to some extent………now……. I may be making another chapter………but I might not…..you see I'm working on something new……..the first chapter should be up soonish………so watch out for that one……….. Until next time……..either in this fic….or a different one……SEE YA LATER…….TKW.