This is my favorite chapter so far and the reason I started writing it all down in the first place. How this chapter came about is owed mostly to the KAST because we got to talking about gyms and I wrote the first chapter about going to the gym. Then we were talking about anger, and one thing led to another and brought my mind to here. As always Bioware owns all. Love it, Hate it but as always enjoy!


And Then There Is Anger

Shepard was frustrated. Three days here on Noveria and they couldn't get up to peak 15. That stupid pompous Anoleis refused to give them a garage pass. If things were not bolted down she would have been throwing them. She had given everyone shore leavs so there was no one on the Normandy right now, well almost no one, Joker was probably still here. She couldn't shoot the pompous ass salarian so she decided to give in to the anger for once. She actually started to enjoy the rush it gave her. If something didn't happen soon she was going to just start shooting everyone. Why didn't this ship have a shooting range. Aaaagh, I am losing my mind. I know I'll go to the gym and hit a punching bag, the gym should be empty. Yes I will picture that stupid Salarian's head and smash it to bits. She went and got her gym cloths on.


The Commander was so angry everyone was keeping out of her way, you never knew what could happen when she was angry. Kaidan hadn't left the ship with everyone else, for one thing Noveria was too cold. He did run out and made a stop at a store and made a purchase and then returned, but that was it. As long as the Commander stayed on board, he didn't see any reason to leave the ship. He was at his workstation when she came out of her cabin dressed in her workout outfit. She looked around but there was no one else around except him because of the shore leave. He thought he understood why she would want to go to the gym, it was sure to be empty. "I need to work out my tension" she snapped at him. "I will be in the gym if anyone needs me, most likely beating something to a pulp." Not waiting for him to answer she turned on her heels and left. He wished again that they had a shooting range on the ship; she wasn't going to be right unless she got to shoot at something. He then decided he might as well join her so she doesn't hurt herself.

When he got to the gym she was hitting the punching bag - hard. She hadn't taped up her fists and was already bleeding from a split on one of her knuckles and was getting blood all over the bag. Damn! He thought, I didn't think it took me that long to change, she must really be angry. He rushed over to stop her, grabbing the sides of her arms and saying "Commander!" She picked him up and threw him on the mat. He had not expected it and was winded. "Don't you ever sneak up on me!" she yelled at him. He tried to keep his calm and not raise his voice. As he worked out a strategy to defuse the situation, he said to her gritting his teeth "you heard the door, I know you did and I was not sneaking up on you" then he knocked her feet out from under her and she fell to the floor right onto her butt. She moved quickly for the counter attack, lunging right for him. Kaidan knew she was angry and he hoped she would lash out at him once he knocked her down but he was depending on her being so angry and not thinking clearly so the advantage would be his and hopefully would have the upper hand. She went for his head as he knew she would, so he just grabbed her wrists, pushed her down and rolled her over so he could lay on top of her and try to hold her in place. She might have been good, but he was ready for her and he had strength and weight on his side. He wouldn't be able to keep her down for long as she really did excel at hand to hand, but he hoped he could keep her down long enough to see reason.

"Commander…Shepard… please, you're going to hurt yourself."

"Or you if you give me a few seconds." She snapped at him, she was still struggling.

She was really fighting him and he was trying not to hurt her. He could see the red welts starting on her wrists where he was gripping them tightly. She struggled harder and he had to dig his fingers into her wrists.

He looked deep into her eyes trying to center her. "You don't want to hurt me" and he softened his voice "Do you Shepard?"

Her ears were ringing, she could feel the blood flowing in her head, then she heard the sweet music that was his voice and it brought her back to reality. Hurt Kaidan, no she didn't want to hurt him. But a few seconds ago, she could have. She can't remember when she had ever been so angry before and not controlled it. So angry she wasn't thinking straight? Never! But here on the Normandy she felt safe, so she let the anger take her. She savored the feeling and the adrenaline high, she had enjoyed letting her self go to the anger. Now if she didn't control herself she might hurt him. She decided it was enough.

The struggling slowed then stopped. She looked up into his eyes. They were nose to nose and he could easily get lost in her eyes.

"No, Kaidan I don't want to hurt you." She said soflty and he could feel the tension leave her body. He saw the anger leave her face and she was studying his. "I just can't take these politics anymore."

"I understand, really I do. But you can't be taking it out on just any poor defenseless punching bag." It made her laugh and relax more. He let go of her wrists and now they were really red, she would probably have some bruises there in a few hours. He could feel her breath on his face. See the twinkle in her eye that he had grown to love. His Shepard was back with him. He couldn't stop himself; he leaned down slowly, so she could turn her head away if she wanted. She could stop him, if she wanted to. He kept moving towards her until his lips touched hers. She didn't pull away from him and she parted her lips so he could continue the kiss. She kissed him back, he was in heaven. He rubbed his tongue against hers, reveling it the taste of her. It was a long slow hard kiss one that he wished would never stop.

Shepard leaned into the kiss, god how she wanted this. She could feel the stirrings inside her body, she had never felt like this before. She didn't want him to stop and was not happy when he pulled back. She noticed they both were breathing hard. "Please, don't stop Kaidan" she said softly. He leaned his far head against hers. "We need to go back to work, you know this could get in the way. If I keep kissing you, I don't think I will be able to stop"

"I know your right." She let out a sigh, "I should be the strong one here. I should never have let this happen."

"Well, truth be told, I would like for it to happen again, maybe when this is all over, and certainly more then once" he told her with a smile.

"I'm sorry and I know we have to put this on hold." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, "but I don't have to like it, do I?"

"No," and he chuckled at her "you don't have to like it. We can do this Shepard, we just need to wait" he said and he sighed. "Do you think you can control your temper now?" He asked her.

"I always control my temper. This time I thought no one was around and the council specifically told me I couldn't shoot Anoleis, so I let my anger swallow me. Now you know what it's like if I release my control of my emotions, you sure you want to get closer to me?"

"Shepard, of all the things in my life I am not sure about, that is the one thing I am sure of."

She shook her head at him. "You know that is one decision you might live to regret. On the other hand, it was a very nice kiss and I might have to lose my temper more often If it means I get one of those to calm me down" she smiled. "It really worked."

"Yes, well you just think of it as a preview of things to come when all this is over." He said as he got up and helped her too her feet.

Yes, she thought, when this is over, and we live through it, maybe then we can be together. "Tease! Okay I will take this as a promise of things to come! I think I will hold you to that you know. I need a nice hot shower now I think" she said then she smacked him on the ass as she fled out the door.

Kaidan stood there thinking back with satisfaction at their first kiss he was amazed at his control. Yes, first kiss and it was a memorable one. He didn't think he would be able to control himself so well again. It had been the limit of his control to stop this time. He would need a take a shower also. His shower would have to be cold.