"Enjoying the view, Lady Knight?" Alanna asked, walking along the Swoop's wall to stand next to Keladry of Mindelan.
Kel smiled. "You have a lovely home."
"Thank you. I wish I could take credit for it, but George had all the renovations done before we were even married, and he handles most of the upkeep. Though if you were admiring the actual wall, I can take credit for that since I filled in all the gaps between the stones during a fit of feeling useless," Alanna replied, leaning against the wall next to Kel.
They stood in silence for a few moments until Alanna finally said, "You can tell me you know. Whatever it is that's bothering you."
Kel started to speak, then paused.
"Spit it out youngling. I may be able to help."
Kel shifted her weight to other foot, then finally said, "Why did you get married?"
Alanna cocked her head and considered the younger woman's question. "I couldn't think of a single reason not to," she finally replied.
"How did you know?" Kel asked.
"Know what?"
"Know that your feelings wouldn't fade. That he was the one for you."
Alanna sighed. "You know, I'm not very romantic. No matter what the bard's say, I've never believed that there is one person for you, that without them you are not complete. I loved more than one man over my life. No doubt you heard some of the rumors. I had two other lovers besides George, and I did love both of them, but in different ways then I love George. In retrospect, I can say that one was mostly respect for a fighter and lust, and he wanted what I thought I wanted, to roam without being tied to any person or place, but he couldn't accept me and who I was. The other I did love, deeply and completely. We were good friends, and there was certainly passion and he was always there for me, and I could have married him. But as I grew up and got older, I realized I would never have been happy with him. No matter what anyone says, love is not enough. And there are different kinds of love, and different people you can find happiness with. And with George, I found the right kind of love, and just as importantly I found happiness. The love was there long before I was ready to accept it. I just had to mature enough to realize what had been there since I was fifteen."
"What was it that made him different?"
Alanna shrugged. "Oh, it's hard to explain. With George, I can just be me. He never asks for anything else. He's always supportive of me and my choices. He can make me laugh no matter how dark the world seems. He always saw me and treated me as a warrior and a woman. With my other lovers, there was always this tension. One disliked any indication that I was a woman, particularly a noble woman; he picked a huge fight the first time he saw me in a dress. And the other—I was his comrade primarily, and his lover second. With George, there's no difference between the two. He was like that from the start, when I was just a scared little girl and there was naught but friendship between us. He was the first person I told besides the servants who helped me disguise my gender, and he told me he was going to call me Alanna in private so I wouldn't forget I was a girl, but he still respected me just the same as a fighter. His ability to see both parts of me as one is something I never encountered with my other lovers, or even most of my friends. And when he's with me, life is just better. All the little things are fun, eating breakfast, changing diapers, everything. When I'm with him, I'm just happier. He balances me too. I look at the world in black and white, and he sees the shades of grey. I need that, so I can be reminded that things aren't as simple as I make them out to be. And he doesn't have a temper, well he does, but it's as cold as mine is hot. If I married someone with a temper even close to mine, we would have fought all the time, something that would have been a problem with both my other lovers. George just teases me until I get out of temper."
"You don't fight at all?"
Alanna laughed. "We're married, of course we've fought, but we've been married a long time, and we've only had one fight that I would consider a bad fight, and there were extenuating circumstances there. Want to tell me what this is about?"
Kel sighed. "I've had feelings for men before, but they've always faded. And, I have a friend who I've had some feelings for a long while now, and lately things have been changing between us. And I am nervous about acting on my feelings, having them fade, and losing a friendship that means a lot to me. Or finding that he doesn't feel the same way, and that this change is in my head, and losing the friendship."
Alanna nodded. "Well, if these have lasted a long while there's a good chance they won't fade, and staying friends with an old lover is possible. It depends, of course, on how things end, but it is possible. Jon is still one of my best friends, and that first ending was ugly. But time and space allowed us both to realize that we were much better off as friends."
"So the rumors are true."
"Only the most outlandish ones."
Kel looked at Alanna. "The most outlandish? The Baron really was the King of Thieves before he was ennobled?" Kel said jokingly.
Seeing the look on Alanna's face, Kel repeated, her voice squeaking slightly, "The Baron was the King of Thieves?!"
Alanna laughed before turning serious. "It's a risky life we lead, Kel. Don't be too afraid to take a chance before you lose the opportunity. People who court the Black God like we do can't take that kind of risk."
Kel smiled. "Thank you. I just wish I knew he returned the feelings, but I suppose that's a chance I have to take."
Alanna shook her head in amusement. "That sergeant has been yours for a long time now, Kel. He's just been waiting for you to see what's in front of your face. Go on now. Take the chance."
Kel grinned and nodded, walking down the stairs of the wall to go join the small group of men from Third Company that were playing cards in Alanna's courtyard.
Alanna smiled as she watched the younger woman. She had a good head on her shoulders, and there was no doubting the depth of the friendship between her and Neal's cousin and both of their desire for more. Dom would do well by her, and Alanna guessed that once the relationship actually began things would be simple enough. The two of them would find a way that worked for them.
"Are you up here plotting?" George asked, appearing suddenly along the wall and wrapping his arms around her.
Alanna continued to watch Kel as she said something quietly to Dom and the two walked away. "Only a little," she told her husband with a grin.
George looked to see what she was watching and smiled. "Raoul had mentioned something like that might be happening soon enough. He seems like a nice lad."
Alanna nodded. "He'll make her happy."
She turned in George's arms and looked up at him with a smile. "Just like you make me happy," she added quietly.
George grinned down at her. "I try."
Alanna reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him.
"You know," George said conversationally. "You could make me pretty happy right now if you wanted to."
"Is that so?"
George smiled, pulling her in for another kiss. In spite of all the years they'd been married, warmth still flooded Alanna's whole body and her stomach flipped over as he slid his hands across her lower back and held her close.
Alanna pulled back after a few long moments and smiled. "I think perhaps we should go back to our room to continue this exploration of happiness."
"You nobles and your silly sense of propriety," George replied, allowing Alanna to take his hand and lead him back to their room.
Once there, Alanna wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, enjoying the familiar sensation of his hands sliding under her shirt to caress her sides before he slipped her shirt over her head. George walked her back towards the bed and she stumbled, making them both laugh even as they continued undressing each other without a hitch. Familiarity, love, comfort and passion all grew as they moved through only one of the many acts they had grown so good at doing together over the course of their friendship, courtship and marriage. Afterwards, Alanna lay with her head on George's chest, and as her heart rate slowed, her thoughts returned to her earlier conversation with Kel. She looked up at her husband and smiled. "Thank you," she said.
George looked down at her and quirked an eyebrow. "For what lass? I'm fair certain I got just as much out of that as you."
"I don't mean for that, or I suppose not just for that. I mean everything. I mean thank you for seeing what we could be and waiting for me to see the same. Thank you for this life of ours."
George leaned down to kiss her. "You don't have to thank me for that, lass," he said quietly. "You reward me everyday. Just by being you."
----
Oh, I love Alanna and George, but they always come through for me, even when I'm just trying to work out my own life. Sorry if you find this a little boring, but hopefully I'll be be updating zenobia and Liam's stories soon. I was struggling with both of them quite a bit, not knowing what to do with the next chapter, but as always I think A/G helped some since they come so naturally to me. Anyways--Review!!! Even if it's just to tell me to make them more interesting again.
