Disclaimer: I don't own Hiei. Or YYH. They'd be in big trouble if I did. I own Raize, and I kinda am Phyre, so yeah. :) But that's about it.

Warnings: … Total insanity.

A/N: Written on my sixteenth birthday at about 11 at night. NO, I was not drunk, but YES, I thought this would be funny. YES, I know Hiei is vastly out of character and probably would stake me if he ever read this. Too bad. ^^ Chocolate, sorry about the iffy chapter. XD Reading back over it, I see your point. Kinda makes me want to put my head through the nearest wall for not being up to standards. Eheh. Anywho! Enjoy the craziness!

...

Raize: ... have you been drinking?

Phyre: Course not. Why?

Raize: First rule of thumb when trying to disguise the fact that you GET COMPLETELY DRUNK ON YOUR B-DAY EVERY YEAR - THROW THE TEQUILA BOTTLE AWAY.

Phyre: Damn.

Hiei: *snickers*

Phyre: *smacks Hiei with tequila bottle*

Hiei: DRAGON... OF THE DARKNESS...

Raize: SHIT! *grabs Hiei, covers his mouth*

Hiei: #$&*#$!

Raize: Apologize for your sorry pyro ass, Hiei! We do not fry the birthday girl!

Hiei: *glares*

Phyre: ^.^ Hee, that's okay. Can we throw him in the pool?

Raize: I didn't know you had a pool.

Phyre: I don't. Buuuuut since you're a nice little water youkai, you can make me one can't you? *puppy eyes*

Raize: HEY. That's... actually not a bad idea! ... but where are we gonna put it?

Phyre: ... shit.

Hiei: HAH! *points*

Phyre: *smacks Hiei again with the bottle*

Hiei: *Bites Raize's hand trying to get free*

Raize: OW! Phyre, help me out. We're gonna ducttape this little bastard to a chair until we find out where we're gonna put the pool, and then we're gonna throw him in there.

Phyre: *tipsy* OKEY DOKEY!

Raize: Geez. Am I the ONLY sane one around here? -.-

Phyre: ... heeeey... I'm sane when I'm not drunk...

Raize: Your logic is invalid at the present moment. YOU'RE DRUNK.

Phyre: *pouts* damn.

Raize: *ducttapes Hiei to a chair* Here, get his mouth.

Phyre: Why? You do it!

Raize: He's already bitten me once! Why would I do it? *tosses ducttape to Phyre*

Phyre: Cause he won't seriously hurt you! *tosses ducttape back*

Raize: Damn chicken!

Phyre: Look who's talkin'!

Raize: FINE. Match you for it.

Phyre/Raize: Rock, paper, scissors!

Raize: HA! Paper over rock, loser!

Phyre: Gur. Fine then.

Hiei: *snaps teeth at Phyre*

Phyre: Damn vampire! I will stake you! *brandishes tequila bottle*

Hiei: *glares* At least I don't sparkle.

Phyre: Oh, shut up and sit still, or I WILL break this thing over your head! And then I'll stake you! *ducttapes his mouth*

Hiei: *still glaring*

Raize: Niiice.

Phyre: *bows* thank you. Now - about the pool.

Raize: Hey, got it! We don't need somewhere to put it, I can just hold the water in shape with my energy!

Phyre: *bonks Raize on the head with the bottle* Wow. Why didn't you mention this earlier?

Raize: Eheh... ^.^U I uh... kinda forgot...

Phyre: *bonks her again* Okay okay okay. Back yard's big enough. Let's get out there.

Hiei: Aw, shit.

Raize: *creates instant pool* This big enough for ya, birthday girl?

Phyre: HEEELL YEAAAAAAH!

Raize: Cool then. Help me pick Hiei up.

Phyre/Raize: Ready? One... two... THREE!

Hiei: NOOOOOOO! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS! …... *sploosh*