Disclaimer: I don't own anything
There was too much drink.
There was always too much drink.
He had tried playing solitaire but had realised after a while that he was playing with a deck of 51. So he had a drink instead.
He had tried to watch some Television but had realised that there was nothing on worth watching. So instead, he had a drink.
There was a knock on the door, but he wasn't in the mood for visitors, not right now.
There was a louder knock. He took a drink.
It turned to a banging. He covered his ears.
The door blasted open. He took another drink.
"REMY!"
"Mornin' Jeannie." he said not even bothering to turn round.
There was an awkward silence as Jean recollected herself from not seeing an unconscious Remy. Or worse, one hanging from the light-.
"Can I help yo'?"
"I was, I was just-"
"Checkin' I hadn't hung myself."
"Something like that." she spotted the bottle, and then the lots of empty bottles on the floor, "it's a bit early to be drinking Remy."
"Never too early for me Jeannie. Tell me, is she home yet?" he said finally looking round at her.
Lucky for Remy the term 'bloodshot eyes' is one that was used all the time due to his mutation. But this was worse because everything else added up, drowning his sorrows until it killed him. Still, the stubble looked good. She sat down beside him.
"No." she said, trying to sound as if it were a mere matter of fact.
"Sure is a long mission dey're goin' on."
"Scott phoned, said the recovery of the area was taking a lot more tim-"
"Bla, bla bla, so basically while Logan and Scottie do all de grunt work de two of dem are fuc-"
"You don't know that-"
"Nope, but yo' do. Come on Jeannie, yer a telepath, an I know yer not stupid." She couldn't look at him, mainly because he was telling the truth, "dere, dere, have a drink, it helps, sort of."
She looked at the bottle he was holding out in front of her.
"There's hardly any left in there for me."
"Ah well, me bein' a gentleman an all, ya can have de last drop."
She took the bottle off him thinking that it was better that she drink it than he did. And then she remembered.
"Uh, I'll save it for later." she said innocently.
"Yo' mean nine months later."
"How did you know, I've not even told Scott-"
"Its hard t'keep secrets round here Jeannie," she looked at him, he wasn't just talking about her secret, " plus Hank always acts like a little girl whenever he has good gossip."
He leaned over and picked up the bottle, "I tell yo' what, I finish dis off for yo' an den I buy ya a nice big bottle of champagne when de baby is born, how dat sound?"
"Remy-" but before she could object the last dregs of the bottle had been swallowed.
He drank as if every sip he took was one step closer to death, which is what he wanted. She had discovered that well and truly one afternoon when no one had seen the Cajun for the past three days. She was the one that found him. Logan was the one that cut him down.
They had never spoken about that day since. Excuses were made on everyone's part and they were very good at covering it up so that no one else knew. Finally living in a place where the extraordinary becomes the ordinary helped and everyone took their stories to be truth. So no one really did understand the extent of Remy's pain.
"I, I cant believe it."
Jean closed her eyes willing the tears back. This memory had brought up a lot of her own painful memories that she was trying to forget.
"He, he tried to kill himself didn't he?" asked Jean-Paul.
"Yes."
"And you were-"
"I was pregnant. Yes. Pay attention."
There were voices from the foyer that were travelling up pas the place where the door had once been.
"It's Scott, he's home." she said jumping up and then managing to catch herself before she screamed with glee.
"Don hold back on my account Jeannie. I'll jus wait here an see if she gonna pay de drunk maniac a visit." he turned away from her.
She bent down in front of him and kissed him on the cheek, "You're a good man Remy LeBeau. Please don't-"
"I know, I know, try t'kill maself. Stop mothering me mama Jean an go see yer husband." he was smiling now, an achievement.
She turned to leave when she noticed that there was a shadow in the doorway. There was someone sanding there, someone who had been watching, and listening.
"Hi Jean."
"Hello Rogue, I was just leaving."
She didn't want to, she wanted to stay and make sure that neither of them tried to kill each other, but she guessed it was just her maternal instinct and left.
"Hi sugah."
"I waited for yo' chere." he said trying to hide the bottles on the chair using his feet.
"Ah see that, right in the same place ah left ya."
She walked over to him but the distance between them still remained.
"How was de mission."
"Good. We won."
"Go team."
"It's a shame ya couldn't come."
"Well us invalids have t'sit on de bench chere."
"Did, did anything happen while I was away?"
"Like what?"
"Ah don't know, lahke, did ya go out, did ya meet anyone, ya know, that kinda stuff."
She hadn't been looking at him, she didn't want to know what state he had gotten himself into this time. When she was gone, he saw this as his chance to drink himself stupid. She knew something had happened, but nobody was telling her the truth, she could feel it in her gut. But she didn't want to see him like this. Not Remy. Not her Remy, her prince charming.
"Actually, I did go out."
She looked at him.
"Ya did?"
He hadn't shaved, there was the smell of bourbon, didn't look like he'd eaten either.
"Yeah, I went t'de shops."
"Oh, d'ya get anyt'in nahce?"
"Maybe."
There was a flash in his eyes, the remnants of the old Remy LeBeau. And the grin said it all.
"What d'ya buy?"
"Who said I bought it?"
"Remy!"
"Look, why don' yo' let me get all cleaned up, an we go out for somet'in t'eat."
"But ah wanna catch up with all the-"
"Jean's pregnant, dats it really. No auddah big news. Now why don yo' go get dressed up nice."
She wasn't paying attention to him anymore.
"Pregnant huh?"
"Yeah." he looked up at her and then reached out for her hand which she moved away out of his reach, "Chere, we gonna have dese t'ings one day. Me an yo'. Jus yo' wait an see, it gonna happen-"
"Yer drunk."
"Yeah. I am. But its de only time I ever t'ink clearly. An I been drunk a lot recently-"
"Remy ah don't want t'a hear this. How we supposed t'a live lahke this Remy? Ah cant kiss ya, ah cant hold yer hand ah cant, do anything!"
"Dere's more dan touch! Yo' taught me dat Rogue!"
"But ya cant honestly
think that a life would without touch would work!"
"Its worked
so far."
"N-no, it hasn't."
The longer you keep them, the harder they are to tell. Secrets. And the harder they are to tell, the harder they fall.
"Chere-"
"Remy
ah've been-"
He stood up, knocking the table over, making as much noise as possible so that he couldn't hear the words that she was speaking. If he just drowned it out, then it wasn't true, and it didn't happen and they could just keep going on-.
"Remy, please, Remy stop, calm down, yer, yer shakin', please jus, calm down."
He stood there, staring at her, looking in her eyes to find some resemblance of the woman he once knew.
And in turn she looked at him and saw the man she was in love with, but could never have. He was long gone from her now. She had built him up as this hero, this knight in shining armour that would rescue her from her captivity. And he had been there. He had helped. He had stood by her and beyond everyone's expectations he remained faithful. And what's more, he loved her.
But in the end it wasn't her Knight that saved her. No. She wasn't even saved. It was just a guy who accidentally had a power that stopped hers. The fireworks, no music, no romance, just touch. And still her knight stood by her. He had to know, there was no way he couldn't have known, there was always Gossip about the mansion.
There were tears falling down his face now and instinctively she put her hand up to brush them away.
She let it linger there as he closed his eyes. He brought his own hand up covering hers.
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it.
Then he opened his eyes and looked down at her bare hand.
He learnt all he needed to know from looking in her eyes and there was the woman he loved.
"Remy, ah, ah'm sorry, ah should have, ah wanted t'a tell-"
He kissed her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her close.
She managed to break away.
"Remy, ah, ah…ah love ya."
His eyes, his kiss, his touch told her everything she needed to know. But she just needed to make sure he knew too.
Tomorrow there would be questions, arguments, fights. But that was for tomorrow. For just now, it was just her and the man she loved.
AN: Ok, so that got a lot darker than I ever intended it get, but hey, maybe things will get brighter in the next chapter.
