"Ilia -"
She doesn't respond.
His heart sits in his stomach like a stone. It's been there ever since he first reunited with Ilia - and discovered that she doesn't remember him at all. She doesn't even know her own name. Of course she won't respond to it.
"What's your name?" she had asked him.
Who knew such a simple question could break someone so completely?
Swallowing the lump gathering in his throat, he taps her shoulder. She's sitting beside the Zora prince's bed in Elde Inn, watching his breathing, making sure he's all right. But at his touch, she turns her gaze to meet his.
"Oh! L...Leo, was it?"
Leo. Leo.
This girl - his friend since childhood, the one who knew his fears and hopes and dreams and feelings, the one who sometimes knew him better than he knew himself, the one he had been intending to marry -
Forgetting his name.
He dons a smiling mask, even though his eyes betray grief. "Link," he corrects her. It takes all his strength to force his voice not to crack.
"Oh, dear... I'm so sorry." She offers him a sheepish smile, the faintest blush dotting her cheeks. Familiar blush. Familiar cheeks. Familiar kind green eyes.
But not Ilia.
She nervously rubs her arms, averting her eyes from his. "I don't know how I can ever thank you enough for what you've done. You saved this poor boy's life..." She looks at the Zora prince, a faint smile tilting her lips upward. "The shaman said he's going to get better."
Link nods once. "Yes... I'm sure he will."
But will you?
"Anyway -" Ilia flicks her gaze to his, and he tries hard not to look away - "is there anything I can do for you? I'm afraid I can't do much to help you, but I can certainly try."
"No, I..." I just want you to remember.
Looking into her eyes is difficult. Those beautiful, shimmering forest-green depths. They're the same as ever - or so they should be. But they're different. They're dull, and confused, and lost, lacking memory and warmth and life.
He wishes he could help her. "Actually, I wondered if I could do anything to help you."
Ilia blinks in surprise. "What? But you've already done so much..."
"Yes, but -" Desperation claws at his voice, makes it a little higher and a little shakier, and he quickly stops himself before it gets any worse.
She gives him that lovely, kind smile. And even though she isn't the girl he knows anymore, that smile is still so unmistakably hers.
So much that it makes his heart ache.
"I think you should just rest, after everything you've done. You must be exhausted."
He can only nod, numb.
Her smile brightens. "Thank you again, Link. I so wish I could repay you... please don't hesitate to ask if you ever need anything, all right?"
He can't bring himself to remind her. Can't bring himself to speak her name aloud. Can't bring himself to try and regain what is already lost. He forces a tenuous smile in return, and leaves without another word, not trusting himself to speak.
And when he passes through the broken doorframe of the room inside poor, ruined Elde Inn, he is stopped by a familiar deep voice -
"Link."
The young Hylian turns to face the man standing there beside him. Renado, of course. He tries to smile, and forces himself to speak even though he doesn't want to. "Thank you for what you did for that boy."
Renado sighs. "Yes," is his absentminded response. But his dull gaze tells Link that the man's mind is elsewhere. "About that girl -"
"Ilia." And for the first time in his life, the name tastes bitter on his tongue.
The shaman's brow lifts a fraction. "Ilia, then. It would not be wise to remind her of her past. It might... Well, I'm not sure, to be honest. This memory loss is like no normal memory loss I've ever seen. It could..."
But he trails off.
Link's brows knit together in concern. "What is it?"
"It might be caused by that strange, everlasting Twilight we suffered not too long ago..."
Silence. The only sound is that of a lonely torch flickering on a wall nearby.
"Of course," Renado continues, clearing his throat, "I don't have much evidence for that. I might be completely incorrect in every way possible. It's just that, her loss of memory doesn't seem quite right, and the fact that it happened around the time of the strange Twilight..."
Link can't bring himself to say anything. He can only stare, eyes blank, at his boots.
The shaman lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Link. She will find herself in time. But do not push her there. Do not try to force her memories on her. Do not even remind her of her name."
"What?" Blue eyes, suddenly sharp, flick up to meet Renado's. "That's - but - how can she ever regain her memories if she isn't guided along the path to them?"
"I don't know." He shakes his head grimly. "I consider myself knowledgeable in Hyrule's magic, but not in any of the... darker forms. If this were caused by a spell I understood, then I would know. But it isn't. I don't dare toy with magic I don't understand. For all we know, forcibly reminding her might be the only way to help."
"Then why don't we -"
"Or it might drive her mad."
Link stares, unblinking, at the man. "Mad?"
"If she loses her mind, Link, she'll never regain her memories. As it is now, she at least has a chance. But if we make one single mistake..."
The Hylian clenches his hands into fists. Gritting his teeth, he averts his troubled gaze. "This is ridiculous."
"I know. But you must not push her. I don't know what it will do to her."
He swallows heavily. The lump in his throat grows, and his stomach flops. "...All right. I won't," he finally agrees.
Renado offers a wan smile. "Good."
The man probably wants to say more - Link can tell by his expression, and the way his lips part again - but he can't take another second of this. Head lowered, he strides down the stairs and bursts out the door of the inn, hair falling to cover his darkened eyes.
He doesn't stop walking, even when he's knee-deep in the sacred spirit's spring. Even when he climbs up the tiny waterfall and chest-high water soaks his clothes. Only then does he stop, leaning against a rock jutting from the pool, unable to support his own weight anymore. His hands tremble. His jaw clenches. He wants to sink beneath the pool and let it wash away all his feelings of grief and frustration.
Unfortunately life doesn't work that way.
"Honestly," a voice comes from his shadow, warped by the water, "it isn't that big of a deal."
And what would you know? he wants to snap.
But he doesn't. Only stands there, staring at shaking hands as if they hold the answer to all of this.
The shadowy imp leaps up from the water to float before him, legs folded midair. "What's the problem?"
"She's forgotten everything, that's the problem," he hisses from between clenched teeth. "She forgot everything, and everyone... me. I... I, I was going to marry her."
Midna's eye narrows. "You were?"
"If she doesn't even know me, how can I? She doesn't care about me anymore, I'm just a stranger!" His shaking, gloved fist slams into the rock beside him, making his skin throb and no doubt already starting to form a bruise. But he doesn't care. Nothing matters anymore.
"Whoa! Calm down, doggie!" Midna shakes her index finger at him. "No need to get so worked up about it. Remember what that healer guy said? Something like, 'she'll find herself eventually' or whatever it was."
"Yeah, but..." His head lowers, hair falling in his eyes, his nose, his mouth, but he doesn't have the strength to care.
"But what, stupid? Don't you trust him? He seems like a decent enough guy, I guess."
"Well -"
But she interrupts him. "So then trust him! If he says she'll remember eventually, then who knows, she probably will. But besides all that... she's safe. That's all that matters, isn't it?"
Is she -
Is she trying to comfort him?
He lifts his head, brushing messy hair away from his face and blinking at her in surprise. For a moment only silence passes between them. Gentle moonlight streams silver upon the world, turning the water white beneath its kind gaze. A cool breeze whispers soothing words in his ears - and he actually finds himself smiling.
Just a little. But still smiling.
"You're right," he finally manages to say.
"I know. I'm always right." She flashes him a cheeky grin. And without another word, she dives into his shadow again.
The water laps at him, thoroughly drenching his clothes and sending a chill through his skin. But he ignores it. Strangely enough, he feels... peaceful. Peaceful despite the grief, and the frustration, and the worry. The little imp really isn't so bad after all.
"Midna?"
"Hmm?" she sighs from his shadow.
He shuts his eyes, allows himself to shiver in the cool night, and his smile widens. "Thank you."
