Must...resist urge...to sing...Goofy Goober Rock...

Review replies;

Raelene: Well, um, this is soonish, right? =P Thanks for reading!

SOLmaster: We shall see, we shall see. ;D Thanks for reviewing!

Night-Walker: The cool kids who don't have spaceships, anyway. :D Thanks for the review!

TweenisodeOrange: I was hoping you would - he's a lot of fun to write. :) Thanks very much!

Zim'sMostLoyalServant: Well, I never leave a useful character behind. Except when I do. :| Thanks!


Chapter Seven: Rock

"So let me get this straight – you want me to donate the support of my platoon to three kids, a robot, a mad scientist and a sponge so that we might stop an evil demon-creature from controlling the world."

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," shrugged Jimmy.

"That is completely insane," grunted Bailey, "But what other options do I have?"

"That's the spirit!" grinned Spongebob.

The group was gathered by the Hovercraft. Jimmy had started the machine up, ready to head off to the rock.

"Okay, here's the plan," he said, "Lieutenant, you and your men head back to our portal – make sure the 'shadows' don't try to get into my lab. Everyone else, get on the hovercraft, we're heading up to the rock."

"…so you don't want the armed soldiers with you when you go up there?" quizzed Bailey.

"Bullets won't affect them, my good man," shrugged Dr. Thourrel.

"Alright," grunted Bailey, "We'll meet back at your…err…portal. Good luck. Platoon, move out."

The soldiers began to walk away as the rest of the group piled into the hovercraft.

"Ready, guys?" asked Jimmy, "I don't know what we'll find out there. You can still back out."

"No, we really can't," muttered Timmy, "Let's just do this."

Jimmy nodded and activated the machine. The hovercraft lifted upwards, heading into the unknown…


"We have a prisoner, milord."

The Man in the White Suit raised his eyebrow as two of his guards dragged a prisoner into the throne room.

"The Red Huntress," he nodded, "I would have hoped my controlling influences would've accounted for you. How did you escape?"

Valerie glared up at him but said nothing.

"Of course, I know the answer to that," noted the Man, "I didn't want to control you – not immediately. For you see, I saw your actions during the Orb of Power incident. Your abilities are remarkable…for an ordinary individual."

"You bugged us?" demanded Valerie.

"Yes," said the Man, bluntly, "But that is hardly the point. The point is, I can get more out of you if you join me willingly then if I were to control you."

He stood up, walking over to the window and looking out over the city.

"Think of it, Ms. Grey," he implored, "You are a far greater asset then any of the self-serving cretins I call subordinates. They will be disposed of, in time, but you?"

He turned to face Valerie again.

"I can offer you so much," he grinned, "I can offer all the equipment and resources you need to continue to hunt ghosts. I can offer the return of the social status you lost to Danny Phantom. I can move you out of that apartment to far grander accommodations then you could even dream of. I can offer you anything you wish – all you need to do is join me."

He knelt down in front of Valerie.

"So what do you say, my dear?"

There was a short silence.

Then Valerie spat right in his face.

"I'll never join you," she snarled.

The Man wiped his face and scowled.

"That was a very poor choice," he snapped, "You don't understand, Ms. Grey, all I do here is to defend this insignificant ball of dirt from a threat far greater than your limited intellect can even fathom, and I will not allow you or anyone else to jeopardise my plans."

He turned to the guards.

"Take her away," he demanded, "Deal with her, I don't care how. If she escapes, it will be on your heads."

"Yes, milord."

The two guards began to drag Valerie out again.

"I'll be back for you!" shouted Valerie, "You hear me! You won't get away with this!"

The Man watched her as she was taken out the door, before sitting down again.

"For your sake," he muttered, "I hope I do."


The hovercraft touched down on the side of the rock, just on the edge of the left eye socket. Dani climbed out first and looked ahead.

"He made a cave out of his eyes," she noted, "That's not creepy at all."

"A little help, my good man?"

Dani turned around. Spongebob and Dr. Thourrel were heaving a large machine out of the hovercraft. It looked like an electrical coil crossed with the stock and trigger of a gun.

"Tesla Coil!" exclaimed Thourrel, placing it on the ground, "Fires a 1.21 gigawatt electrical bolt up to twenty yards! The shadows react quite badly to it! Unfortunately, it's 25 kilograms, so we will require two men to operate..."

Jenny picked up the Tesla Coil with ease. Dr. Thourrel stared at her for a few seconds, mouth agape.

"...that works too!" he said at last.

"Alright, everyone stay close," hissed Jimmy, "We don't know what we'll find in there."

"Ah man, you mean we're going into his eyes?!" demanded Timmy, "Aaaggh, that's just icky!"

"Live with it, Turner," grunted Jimmy, rolling his eyes.

The group made their way into the cave, the fairies providing light from their wands. For a long time, nobody spoke – all was quiet, save for eerie echoes and groans in the distance.

Then, suddenly, Cosmo spoke up.

"Hey, someone built a bench in here!"

"Cosmo, that's not a bench, that's a table!" snapped Timmy.

On the wall ahead, a small stone table rested against a wall covered in ancient sprawl. A small box sat in the middle of the table.

"An altar," breathed Dr. Thourrel.

The group walked over and Jimmy began to read the writing.

"It's...similar to ancient Sumerian," he mused, "I think I can translate this..."

He scratched his chin and studied the writing. A minute later, he snapped his fingers.

"It's a story," he realised.

"Is it about pudding?" quizzed Cosmo.

Jimmy rolled his eyes.

"It's about a man who finds the secret to eternal life," he recounted, "But he finds out about an apocalyptic threat from the gods and tries to find a way to save the world. He builds up his power and becomes nigh-invincible...except in the process, he loses his humanity and becomes the monster he was trying to stop."

He looked down at the box.

"The only remaining part of his humanity is his heart," he finished, "And that...is in this box."

There was a short silence.

"...so he's a pirate?" quizzed Spongebob.

"No, he's not."

"Oh."

"The heart has dissolved into powder," explained Jimmy, "If we open the box, the powder will be scattered into the wind, and he'll be forced out of the human realm."

"Great, let's crack it open!" exclaimed Timmy.

"Not that easy, it's locked," sighed Jimmy, "And the material is completely impenetrable. We'd need the key – which, thankfully for us, is kept right under the bo-"

Jimmy lifted the box. Underneath was an empty rut in the shape of a key.

"...oh."

"Yeah, thought he might be a bit too smart for that," grunted Jenny.

"Where'd he put it?" demanded Timmy, "I mean, it can't be that far from here, right?"

"Maybe it's in his jacket," mused Spongebob.

"His jacket?" demanded Jimmy, "Why would he...wait a minute..."

The door flung open. A man in a white suit strode up to the counter.

The Man in the White Suit looked at Timmy, and gave him an almost-invisible smirk.

"Come on, he's in a white suit – he should stand out!"

The Man in the White Suit stepped onto the podium.

Man in the White Suit...

White Suit...

"...why does he always wear that suit?" Jimmy asked.

"Suits have pockets, right?" replied Wanda, "And he'd wanna keep that key as close as possible..."

"...right next to his heart," finished Dani.

"Um, fellows?"

"Of course!" he exclaimed, "That explains the suit! It's not just taste, he's putting the key in his jacket!"

"Fellows?"

"We've nailed him!" grinned Timmy, "All we've gotta do is find him and kick his..."

"Fellows?"

All eyes turned to Dr. Thourrel.

"I sincerely hate to interrupt your eureka moment," he gulped, "But I am afraid we have company."

The group turned around.

Dozens of humanoid shadows were melting out of the darkness, surrounding them.

"...aw, tartar sauce," muttered Spongebob.


Oh dear.