A/N: Okay lmao I've been trying to keep it consistent with like, what I call the ladies? Like ok for example, I've been referring to Sam as 'Sam,' even though all the other characters call her Reyes, and I guess before I was calling Cali 'Lily' and then last chapter I kinda goofed up and referred to her as Lily which I guess is sort of weird?
Cause like I mean, when you refer to yourself you don't really use your last name or a nickname, I guess. I mean does that make sense?
Anyway, I didn't mean to confuse anyone and I'll try my best to stick with referring to Cali as 'Lily' in the like narration part, while the rest of the soldiers will obviously call her Cali.
Actually tho, I think I'm gonna try the first half this chapter in Lily's first person pov. I mean, I used to do it and idk it's just something else. After, tho, it reverts back to Third Person.
Okay, onward!
Lily
With Tex back at the base, I was finally able to talk to her about...well, about everything. The only problem was, I wasn't entirely sure how to start the conversation. I had attempted to start off with a simple, "hey," but that conversation was either interrupted with Church showing up or Caboose and Tucker needing something from me.
Which...what was actually happening right now.
"So, Tex.."
"Yes?"
"Well, you, h-how are you? How-how've you been? How's the uh, the-the base life treatin' ya?"
Tex looked up and raised her eyebrow "...Are you okay?"
"What? Yeah, no, yeah I'm-"
"Cali, sup!"
I sighed deeply and turned to Tucker, who smiled innocently as he leaned against the counter.
"Yes, Tucker?"
He shrugged, reaching over to grab a banana (a space banana). "Just wanted to know how you were doing."
I narrowed my eyes at him, "I'm fine," and turned back to Tex...only to find she had left.
I groaned and shook my fists in the air. "Arrghh! Tucker!"
"Yes?"
"I just, you-" I turned back and glared at him, causing the dark man to stop peeling his banana. "Yes?" he asked again, quieter.
"Get out of my sight before I de-rank you!"
Tucker stood up and scrambled out of the kitchen so quickly he almost slipped on the tile. "She can't really do that, can she?!" he cried as he turned the corner to the bedrooms.
I groaned and sat, rubbing my temples. All I wanted to do was sit and speak to Tex about my past - the past that I couldn't remember. But no, everyone else's goddamn life is way more important than that.
"Tex!"
The black armored freelancer looked up from her coffee mug, glaring at me. It was rather early (I didn't even know what time it was, because I never wake up until everyone else is awake), and Tex seemed annoyed that I had bothered her during her morning privacy.
See, for the past week or so, it had been my goal to corner Tex and ask her about my past. She should know a lot about me, cause I sort of remember her, and Church said she has mentioned me before. I was hoping she could tell me everything I didn't remember and maybe figure out why the hell I didn't remember any of it. But it seemed every goddamn time I tried to speak with her, someone ruined it.
So, the only logical thing to do was to wake up at the ungodly hours of the morning and speak with her before anybody else woke up.
"Um, yes?" She frowned. "Why are you awake so early?"
I faked a smile, "What are you talking about? I always wake up early!"
Tex raised an eyebrow.
I rolled my eyes and rested my hands across from her on top of the table. "Okay, you're right. But I need to talk to you and this is the only time I can without anyone interrupting."
"Ah," Tex nodded and took a drink of her coffee. "That's why you've been acting so weird."
I shrugged and wandered to the cabinet to grab my own mug for coffee. I tried to shake off the awkward feeling I had while pouring my coffee. I wasn't going to like - Tex kind of intimidated me. She just had this look like: I can and will murder you in 3 seconds.
Shaking away the ridiculous nerves, I poured tons of cream and sugar into my cup and sat down across from Tex. She stared at me, her eyes drilling holes into my face. I slowly sipped my coffee, looking everywhere but at the beautiful blonde across from me.
"So...are you going to talk?"
"Oh, right!" I chuckled awkwardly and placed my hands on the tabletop. Why was I so afraid to speak with her? "Um, so, Church - you know Church, right?"
Tex set her mug down and furrowed her eyebrows. "Yes. I know Church."
"Right. Well, he told me about you, sort of. Um - okay. I'm Agent California."
"Correct."
"And you knew me. Fro-from before."
"Also correct."
"Okay," I nodded, letting out a deep breath. "See, I don't really remember a lot about the freelancer days - um, in fact, hardly anything at all. And I was hoping you could tell me, maybe?"
Tex stared at me for a moment. "Cali, you okay? I see you around Church and the others. You act like a leader, and you are...a leader." I felt myself swell with pride. "But right now, you're acting worse than Church does when I'm mad at him." I felt the pride deflate. "I'm not mad - you have nothing to be nervous about."
"You're right," I laughed at myself and shook my head. "I don't know what's gotten into me, honestly. I guess I'm just afraid of what I might hear."
Tex nodded and finished her coffee before setting the mug back down and looking right into my eyes. "You shouldn't be afraid, Cal. You're a great soldier, and you were a great soldier back then. You were one of the best, if not the best, out of all of us. You were hardworking, smart, a quick thinker, and most importantly you were a leader. You cared about your teammates, your soldiers, all of us. I wish you could remember."
I smiled softly and looked down at my hands. Sometimes, I really feel like a terrible captain. I just bark at Tucker and Church, and take care of Caboose like he was my son. I'll admit that I was rather lazy and sometimes I felt like shooting myself because of how frustrated I got with my soldiers. But to know that I was a good leader, and an amazing soldier? I felt like I was on Cloud 9.
"And, the Director? Can you tell me about...him?"
Tex looked away, towards the sink in the kitchen. I understood that this was probably difficult for her, and I didn't want to force her to talk about it, but I really needed to know about my past. "He was just the Director, there's not much I can say about him. He was mean, tough, but tried to do what was best. It turned out that he was breaking laws and doing bad things. People found out, people went against him, and now he's missing."
I nodded slowly, not sure how to respond to that. "And the other freelancers? I mean - there were more, right?"
"Yeah, there were more." Tex reached over and poured herself more coffee. I watched as she drank it like that and stopped myself from making a face. Straight, black coffee was gross. "There were a lot more."
"Oh," I said. "Um, what happened to them?"
Tex glared at the table. "A lot of things that they didn't deserve. The ones I think you were closest with were Agents Washington, York, North, and...Carolina."
I felt my heart skip. "W-Washington? Carolina? I-I recognize those names. Can you tell me more?" I asked eagerly, leaning slightly forward. "Do you know who David is?"
Tex looked up at me. "David? Yeah, rings a bell. You only ever mentioned him once or twice, though, I guess I never realized who you were actually talking about."
I couldn't hide my disappointment. "Oh."
"Sorry, kid."
"No, it's okay," I faked a smile. "It's just a name that really sticks out, above the others. I think maybe he was close, like a brother, or maybe a boyfriend."
Tex shook her head, "Well, he wasn't a brother. You didn't have one - or a sister. But you did have a boyfriend."
I perked up, tilting my head. "I did?"
"Yeah," Tex smirked behind her mug. "Dating wasn't allowed on the ship we stayed on, but you guys didn't care. You loved him a lot."
I gave a small smile. "Do you...do you think that's who David was?"
Tex glanced at me for a moment. "I...I couldn't be sure. I never knew his real name, or anyone else's really. We all had codenames and stuck with those like they were given to us at birth. I only knew yours."
I nodded slowly and looked down into my coffee mug, staring at the light brown liquid, and something suddenly came to me.
"He hated black coffee."
Tex looked back up. "What?"
"David. He hated black coffee. He always had to add three sugars and two creams before even taking a sip."
Tex's gaze softened. "You used to."
"I'm sorry?"
"Black coffee," Tex said, nodding down at her cup. "You would drink black coffee. You liked it, and none of your other friends really understood why."
Friends.
I let out a snort and raised an eyebrow at her. "That's funny. I hate black coffee."
Tex snorted back and shrugged. "I guess things change when you don't really remember who you are."
"I guess they do."
We remained silent for a moment before I finally plucked up the courage to ask what I had always wanted to ask. "Speaking of...do you know exactly how I lost my memory?"
"You want the truth?"
"Please."
"It was taken from you," she looked me in the eyes, brows furrowed and a determined look on her face. Tex meant business, she was being honest, and I knew I could trust her. "The Director was doing things he shouldn't have been, and tried to cover it up. You were one of the most important assets in the program and could have done a lot of damage if you had gotten out. So, he erased your memory of the entire program."
I clenched my hands into fists and let out a sharp breath. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt. Angry, for starters. What kind of person would want to erase someone else's memory, just for their own sake?
"Would you like to know anything else?"
I blinked and breathed out again, slowly relaxing my hands. There was no use getting angry right now, I'd just have to find this Director at a later date. "Yeah, actually, did I have an A.I?"
Tex popped her fingers and shifted in her chair, though not in a nervous way. "You did. I'm not entirely sure which one, but it was powerful."
I nodded and smiled at her before grabbing my mug and downing the coffee. Tex looked at me confusedly, but I just stood and placed my mug in the sink and walked towards the hallway.
"Thank you," I said, looking at the blonde woman who still sat at the table. "I hope it's okay if I come and ask you more questions at a later date."
Tex nodded and smiled softly after a moment. I nodded back and turned down the hallway, ignoring the light sting behind my eyes.
Third Person
After the conversation with Tex, Lily began to slowly pick things up from Project Freelancer, and even before then. Glimpses of her parents, of people (friends?), and past boyfriends, ('Honestly, I must have been desperate').
She wasn't sure why this was all coming back now, but she assumed it was because Tex had told her some things, and other stuff just started to fit back into place. Random, daily chores kind of helped, too. She'd do the dishes and be suddenly hit with the feeling of deja-vu. Then, the more she would think about it, the quicker that particular memory would come back.
She had rediscovered that her friend Carolina liked organization and authority - she also had red hair and green eyes (kind of like Church's). York liked to tell jokes, but he could be serious when need be. North and South were twins, but almost polar opposites. She felt like she was being introduced to them all over again, and the more she remembered them, the sadder she felt.
While slowly (really slowly), regaining her memory, Lily distracted herself with Tucker and Caboose. Tex and Church were mostly busy arguing with each other, so Lily was never really able to get the freelancer by herself again. Tucker had stopped mindlessly flirting with his captain - only adding a sexual innuendo occasionally - and she felt relived by that. Caboose...well, Caboose was Caboose, and that was all she could really say about that.
"Hey, Cali?"
Lily turned from the clothes she was folding. (They weren't even her clothes, but they had learned fast that Caboose should never be allowed to do his own laundry.)
"Yeah?"
"Can you...come out here?" Tucker scratched the back of his neck. "Tex and Church are bickering again and I'm not sure how much more Caboose can take before he bursts into tears again."
Lily rolled her eyes and set the t-shirt down, following the man out of the base. It was technically their day off. Really, everyday was, in a way. They pretty much just lounged around doing nothing while still wearing armor and carrying around loaded weapons.
"As far as I'm concerned," Tex was saying, "I'm square with you."
Tucker, Caboose, and Lily looked from her to Ghost Church, eagerly awaiting his response.
"I saved you from a life of imprisonment," Church snapped. "How the hell are you square with me?"
They all simultaneously looked back to Tex.
"Because I didn't kill you back at Sidewinder."
They all turned back to Church. Hey, Lily knew she was technically supposed to be stopping them from arguing, but this was rather entertaining.
"You know, I don't really see how not killing somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor."
"Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now," Tex offered. Before we could even turn to Church, he yelled back.
"No you can't, I'm already dead, bitch! I guess the joke's on you!"
Tex opened her mouth to argue back, but Caboose beat her to it. "Stop it! Stop fighting! Can't you see that you're tearing us apart? What about us?!"
"What about you?" Tex snorted.
"We helped you too," Caboose argued snootily. "And what do we get? Nothing!"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Yeah, but nothin'," Church interrupted. "He's got a point."
Tex crossed her arms defensively. "I did help them get the flag back."
"Yeah, but you were paid to do that," Tucker pointed out. "We rescued you as a favor. We could have just let you rot in the red army prison, it wouldn't have made any difference to us."
Tex turned to Lily accusingly and she shrugged. "They sort of have a point." Tex glared. "Of course, I would have saved you either way!" Lily quickly added.
"Fine," Tex rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms. "I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing. As soon as I have, I'm outta here. What do you need me to do?"
"I...have no idea," Tucker admitted, looking to me for help. The Captain rolled my eyes.
"Um...you could fix our tank?" Lily offered.
Tex shrugged. "Okay."
Caboose gasped. "Wait, you know how to fix Sheila? ...I love you."
Tex looked at Lily, and the woman just shrugged.
A/N: Okay, I don't really have a good enough excuse for this. I mean, I accidentally downloaded a virus onto my laptop? (I know I'm so embarrassed actually) And so like I had to go get it fixed and yeah, my laptop was down for a while and also school is stressing me out sm man. But the only thing I can do to like get my mind of things is to write, draw, or sleep, and lately, I've been doing a lot of sleep.
Remember that boyfriend I had that broke up with me? Yeah, well, I've been really, really sad since then, and I'm probably gonna go back to therapy (bc I used to go for anxiety) and just yeah hopefully talk and feel better guys idk.
So yeah, I'm just like so very sorry that I've been idk absent, for so long. Again, I really don't think I have a good enough excuse other than yes, I have a life and school and stress and other lame teenage problems (but I probably should have thought of that before I dedicated myself to a story that a ton of people enjoy)
I know ya'll hate it when authors never update, or stop updating in general (I know I do, I read this amazing pjo story and it was so wonderful and had sequels and ah, and then the author stopped updating without a trace and it's been like 3 years and I'm so (I'm getting off topic I'm sorry-)), but I'm becoming that author :-(
I will not abandon, I promise you that. I'm going to do my absolute best to start updating whenever I can (winter break is coming up, whoop whoop!). But I will not promise an update soon, bc honestly I just don't know if I'll find the time or motivation to do so. I haven't lost inspiration for this story, I just am having a lot of emotional problems and can't find it in myself to get up, grab my computer, and start typing.
Anyway, I'm so sorry you guys I really really reaaallllyyyy am :-( Please enjoy this shitty, terrible, chapter about Tex n Cali talking and I'm p sure I skipped an episode but idec I threw this together to give you guys some sort of content after like 400000 years.
Thank you all so much for still being here, I really love and appreciate you all so so so so sooo ridiculously so freakin' stankin' much.
~Saammmm :-)
