Tuesday morning was a drag; I woke up late so I missed saying goodbye to Nessie because she left for school hours ago. I slumped downstairs slowly after I had gotten changed; I wore jeans and a singlet, It felt unusual wearing something over my chest but seeing as I wasn't going to be phasing at all today it seemed practical to wear more clothing. The cottage was empty just as I had expected so I made my way to the other house, I didn't have the energy to jump through the window of my room as I always did.
I walked into the house and headed straight towards the lounge room, hoping that television would distract me from missing Renesmee. I sat on the couch next to Emmett and watched the movie he was watching, after about half an hour of watching I realised that it wasn't helping and that I needed some other distraction.
"Emmett you in the mood for a good fight" I asked him as I stood up and stretched.
I saw a wicked smile come across him face, "You bet I am!" he leaped up and started punching the air.
I laughed and headed outside with Emmett following me, and then we where stopped at the staircase by Rosalie.
"Carlisle needs to speak to all of us" she said casually, she walked to Emmett and grabbed his hand and we all headed off to the living room.
I felt nervousness rise in the pit of my stomach, I was curious as to what would have changed since Sunday, I took my usual place to the table next to Rose, but this time I had Bella on my right instead of Renesmee. I noticed Edward, who sat next to Bella, didn't look as rigid as he had on Carlisle's last addressing to us so that relaxed my system a tiny bit.
"Ive brought you all hear just to briefly discuss some points that I didn't get to on Sunday night" Carlisle said, his voice was its normal politeness, he turned to face me, "Jacob, how was Nessie on that night" he asked.
I saw Edward look at me for my answer, I hadn't thought about the events so he had as much knowledge as everyone else, "She was a bit of a mess, but she tired to cover it up you know how she is. She said to me that she was fine with everything but that she was just scared".
I saw pity take over Carlisle smooth expression and I heard Esme sigh. "We will give her morphine, hopefully that will help the pain" Jasper spoke, his voice full of concern.
"No!" Bella suddenly exclaimed, everyone looked at her surprised, everyone except Carlisle, "Morphine doesn't help, I don't want Renesmee to have any of it in her body during the transformation at all!"
I saw the shock on Edwards face and realised this was information that Bella had kept from him.
"Well the pain isn't what Renesmee is scared of exactly" I said slowly, not meeting any of the gold eyes.
"What do you mean Jacob?" Bella's voiced asked from next to me, I felt her cold hand touch my shoulder.
I looked at her briefly then looked down, "Renesmee is under the impression that she might not remain herself afterwards" I said, and I looked up to see Carlisle expression hoping he wasn't offended; unexpectedly I saw a small smile.
"I thought that would be the case, but unfortunately there isn't anything I can say to her to make her believe that I'm 100% confident she will be the same person" Carlisle said.
I looked at him for a long moment, wondering how he could be so sure that Nessie would still be herself, how in the world did he know, but I figured he would have more knowledge on vampires than I did so best not doubt his theories. My mind remembered the words Nessie had spoken to me that night; you don't have to stick around if I become like that you know. How could she even think that I would leave her? Hadn't I proven to her that everything in my life revolved around her? She was my one and only priority and I wouldn't be able to be separated from her. And even if her worst fears became reality I wouldn't leave her, I would be there for her always no matter whom she was or who she loved.
"I'm going to prepare my office into a suitable environment for Nessie when she is going through the transformation, much like I did with Bella" Carlisle said, "I will monitor her every second of the three days, I will make sure her body fights back".
"And what if I doesn't?" said Alice quietly, I saw Bella flinch.
"Well, if worst comes to worst, someone will have to suck the venom out of her" Carlisle said roughly, Edward tensed noticeably.
"Why can't we just do that in the first place?" Emmett asked, his voice sounded unusual when it wasn't full of joy.
"Because Emmett, Renesmee venom is essential for her survival, it keeps her strong so she can feed, if we have to take it from her she will be weak and unable to fend for herself, so we want the option of sucking out the venom to be the very last resort" Carlisle said, I knew that he was terrified of the idea but I guessed he thought it was better for Renesmee rather than being a full vampire.
"What if becoming a full vampire is what she prefers?" asked Rosalie to everyone's astonishment, seeing as she would have done anything not to become a vampire.
Carlisle thought about it for a moment, "Well then I will let her decided" he said, discomfort present in his voice, "well I have to head off to work, I will see you all tonight", and with that he left the room.
Everyone sat and talked for a while, we all where distracted by the possibility that someone will have to suck the venom out of Renesmee. After everyone left to go do their own things, Alice decided that she wanted to go to Port Angelus to get she stuff for Renesmee's party, Jasper agreed to go with her reluctantly. Rosalie and Emmett decided them where in the mood for a tiny vacation again to spend some quality alone time together, and Bella and Edward decided to play piano.
After eating breakfast I decided that I wanted to visit my brothers, it had been a while since I last saw them and believe it or not, I think I actually missed some of them, even Paul, and I wanted to go see my dad.
So I had been mistaken, wearing more clothes today was a bad idea, I shrugged and headed outside.
"I'm going to see my Dad" I called before I walked out the door; I knew Bella hated it when I just disappeared.
"Okay, tell him I said hi" she said over the magnificent sound of the piano.
I laughed, I felt like a child whenever she did that, I walked into the trees and took off my clothes and put them around the string on my ankle. I phased easily and started running as fast as I could towards La Push, adrenaline pulsed through my body from the speed and I remembered how much I had missed this sensation. And before I knew it I was at my old shed, it looked even more like a piece of shit now that I compared it to the Cullen's garage. An ache formed deep inside of me missing my old human self, missing the days with Bella when it had been so easy.
I put my clothes back on and walked towards the house; the grass was getting a big long around the front so I made a mental note to mow it before I left.
"Who's there?" I heard my fathers voice asked from inside the house as I knock on the door, feeling stupid seeing as it was practically still my home. I shrugged and let myself in.
"Jacob?" my dad asked as he frowned at me in disbelief, "Is that really you?"
"Who else would it be?" I asked laughing.
"Well I don't know it's not like my son to visit his father" he said now smiling too.
I laughed to hide the guilt in my voice, "Yeah I'm sorry I haven't been around much Dad" I said apologetically.
Dad laughed, "Nah don't worry about it, I can look after myself" he said proudly hitting his chest, "But I'm still not sure it's really you, maybe it is because the lack of the beautiful young lady at your side".
I subconsciously looked beside me, where, as my father had said, Renesmee would usually be standing, "Nessie is at school today" I said.
"You look like a lost pup without her" he said grinning, I laughed too, knowing it was probably true.
"Hey if your just gonna make fun of me when I come visit my father out of the kindness of my heart, then I bid you good day" I said laughing, walking towards the door.
"Don't be an idiot", my father laughed, "I'm very happy that you're here Jake".
I felt a smile spread across my face, "Thank you that's a much nicer greeting, oh and Bella said do say hi" I said as I just remembered it.
"Ah Bella, Bella, Bella, how is she these days?" he asked curiously.
"She's good; her and I went with her to visit Emily yesterday" I said.
"That's good Jake, I'm glad you two are still friends, even tough you have Nessie you can't forget that you need your friends too" he said in his lecturing tone.
"I no, I no" I laughed.
"You how about it son, want to watch the game with your old man" Dad asked beckoning towards the couch.
"Id love to" I said happily.
Dad and I watched the game and chatted casually, I felt nice, felt like the old days when I was little. Dad used sport as a distraction ever since my mother had died; it was always something we shared together. We laughed about some of the packs behaviour then spoke our funny memories that had happened in this very room like the time Rachel chucked the remote at the TV when they didn't show her favourite show, I was only young at the time but I remembered it vividly. Before I knew it, it was lunchtime and I remembered that I still had to see the other guys. I mowed the lawns quickly then said by to dad who was getting picked up by Charlie to go fishing.
"Tell the old man I said Hello" I said before walking out the door.
"You can tell him yourself" I hear a voice that didn't belong to my father say; I opened the door to find Charlie standing with a smile on his face and a fishing rod in his hand.
"Hey Charlie" I said patting him on the back as he walked past me into the house.
"Hey Jake, how are you?" he asked.
"I'm good and you?"
"Ill be good, only if the fish are biting today huh Billy" he smiled at me Dad and high fived him with his free hand, "Jacob I was meaning to ask you, How was Renesmee on Sunday afternoon when you guys left Sue's?"
"She was okay, I got her settled down eventually" I said smiling at the memory of our almost kiss.
"That's good to know, I'm so sorry about Leah, she was way out of line" Charlie said.
"Nessie and Leah fight again huh?" Dad asked, looking at me then to Charlie.
"Yup" I said, "Don't worry Charlie, they where both out of line, anyway I have to go see the guys, see you guys soon" I said.
"See you son" Dad said just as I turned.
"Oh Jacob, I forgot to ask you, are you free tomorrow night, I found some old tapes from when you are Bells where kids and I was thinking to invite you two and Billy over to have a laugh at your expense, Ness can come offcourse too" Charlie said.
I smiled then turned back around, "Sounds awesome, we will be there at about 6?"
"Perfect, ill pick Billy up on my way home from work"
I left Dads and headed to Sam's house again, guessing that everyone would be there for lunch, and I guessed right, Paul, Quil, Embry, Seth and Jared where all present along with Emily and Sam, I guessed Sam had ordered Leah and some on the newer members of the pack to do patrols.
"Hey Vampire lover" I heard Paul call with a mouthful of food, he was the only one that was facing me, but when everyone heard his greeting they all looked around.
"Hey Jake" said everyone, I smiled and found another chair and made space for me to sit on the overly crowed table.
We all sat and talked for a while, everyone laughed at all of Paul and Quil's jokes and we all made fun of Jared when he sat back down and missed the chair, I heard Emily mutter laughing "Immature Werewolf's" at our hysteria over the stupidest things, Emily was right, when we where together and not hunting vampires we all acted like a bunch a kids, hitting each other, saying the stupidest things and having arm wrestles.
I noticed for the first time how much Seth looked liked me, I didn't pay much attention to him on Sunday as I could take my eyes of Nessie, but now that I payed attention, I saw the resemblance, his face was still more boyish and his hair was longer.
After lunch we all decided to do patrols, Embry, Quil and I decided to go together like the old times. We started betting when some of the young members of the pack will imprint.
"Brady will be first" Quil said after we had transformed back into out human forms.
"Yeah, he is shit scared of it because he already has Steph" Embry said laughing, Quil joined in. I didn't find it amusing at all.
Everyone knew how scared Brady was that he would imprint on someone and break his long term girlfriend Stephanie's heart, Brady would never to go crowed place and always avoid eye contact with girls that he passed. Embry and Quil didn't understand the feeling he was going through, they just think now that they have imprinted that the only girl worth being with is your imprint, but I knew how Brady felt, I remembered how terrified I was when I found out about imprinting when I loved Bella, knowing that if she chose me I could break every promise of commitment I swore to her just because of a stupid legend.
A small part of me ached as I remembered the painful memory, but that wouldn't have ever happened, If Bella had chosen me I would have never imprinted as Renesmee would have be born, there wouldn't have been any reason to worry. I felt guilty for thinking of my life with Bella; it was something I couldn't help even though my heart belonged to Renesmee, there where still times I thought about what might have happened if Edward never returned to Forks. I shock my head, pain filling me as my mind lingered on that subject.
"Well maybe no more of us will" Quil piped in, interrupting my unwelcome thoughts, "Maybe you will be the last one to imprint Em, how's your lucky lady anyway" Quil asked nudging him on the shoulder with a smirk.
"She wonderful" Embry said dazed with a smile across his face, he was still suffering from the side effects, like looking like a complete douche whenever someone mention Lilly.
"So you have told her" Quil pressed on.
The smile from Embry's face vanished and his brow frowned, "Not exactly" he admitted slowly.
"Eh why not?" Quil said shocked looking confused at me, I just shrugged.
"Did you guys find it hard to confront your imprint" Embry asked us looking humiliated, "Oh yeah right, I forgot" he continued with an after thought, "Your imprint's where kids, wish I was that lucky, I'm too scared to talk to her"
Quil and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows, "Why in the world are you scared?" I asked laughing.
Embry frowned when I found it humours, "I don't know I just am Jacob! You saw what it was like yesterday, I couldn't even talk to her!"
That was true, I did remember him sitting on his bike with his mouth hanging open looking like a tool, but I thought that it was just the shock and that I would were off.
"Dude, you have nothing to worry about, she's your imprint!" Quil said in disbelief of Embry's new coward persona.
"I no, I no, its just hard, I went down to her house yesterday to talk to her but I ended up just staring in her window for the whole night" Embry admitted.
"How do you know where she lived?" I asked curious.
"I heard her telling Nessie; I think she saw me too" he said looking horrified.
"Well dude you shouldn't stalk to poor girl, just talk to her" Quil said laughing.
Embry seemed to give up on the thought that Quil and I would be able to help his shyness, I really didn't have a clue how to help either, my relationship with Nessie came naturally, maybe it was because she was only a child when I imprinted on her.
I decided that I needed to visit Leah to inform her on the new schedule for our patrols, I was going to make them only twice a week now, Sam's pack had it under control so it was a lot less work. I mentioned my plan to go to the Clearwater's to Quil and Embry, Embry agreed which I was glad about, I didn't want him spending all of his time spying on Lilly Franklin, and Quil politely declined to join as he was going to pick up Claire from school, I felt the urge to pick up Nessie but I remembered that she had driven herself to school that day.
Embry and I got to the Clearwater's and to my surprise I found that Charlie's car was absent, I then remembered that he was probably still with my father. Seth greeted us, which confused me because he was supposed to be doing patrols on my orders.
"Hey guys!" Seth said letting us in, the house looked empty, Seth must have been the only one home.
"Hey Seth" I greeted him just after Embry had, "Why are you home, aren't you suppose to be on patrol?" I asked.
Embry sat down on the couch and started watching TV, Seth and I walked towards the table while he answered, "Nah, Sam said that I didn't have to, and you said I had to listen to him" Seth said smiling, enjoying that some good had come out of having to listen to Sam as well as me. "Sam said that he was going to find Leah and tell her to do a longer shift as a punishment for her behaviour".
Embry laughed from the couch, I looked around confused, Seth saw the expression and answered my questioning look, "She has been a pain lately, she still hates listening to Sam and ever since her fight with Nessie she's been downright a pain to be around".
I felt guilty, for one, the recent fight between the two girls was my fault, I shouldn't have brought Nessie around Leah and second, I felt bad that I had been absent from my duties as the Alpha of my pack, I had promised Leah that I would still do my job so she would have to listen to Sam as much.
I heard stomping on the porch steps, and I saw Seth flinch, "That's probably her, hope she isn't too mad that she did my shift, I'm not taking the risk, I'm hiding" he said quickly running to his room. Leah appeared in the living room seconds later, her hair was messy and he face seemed to be plastered into a permanent scowl.
"Hey Leah" Embry said not looking away from the TV she looked surprised to see him but only grunted in response, her eyes found me and then her scowl tightened, shit.
"Hello Jacob" she said sourly, her voice was full of accusation, and I could tell that she was going to blame having to do the extra shift on me because I made her have to obey Sam's orders.
I raised my hands defensively, "No, no, no, you're not taking this out on me" I said in my alpha tone.
"Why shouldn't I? You're the one that made me have to listen to the prick, just because your to lazy to control your own pack!" she spat at me, that hit a nerve.
I stood up and I felt fury build up inside of me, "Just remember Leah! That I'm only keeping this pack for you!" I said strongly and loudly, Leah buckled under my harsh tone, she knew I had a point.
"Your right, I'm sorry Jacob, it's just been a long day" she said apologetically, she went into the kitchen and then returned with a drink, she sat in the chair next to me.
I sat down as well, feeling guilty for yelling at her "No I'm sorry Leah, your right, I haven't been around much to give orders and I am sorry, but if it makes you fell better that's why I'm here today" I said resting my arms on the table.
She raised her eyebrows confused, "Why would getting orders make me feel better? You have become a seriously mental" she said laughing.
I couldn't help but laugh too, "Well I wanted to tell you that I'm cutting the shifts down to twice a week" I saw her eyes brighten, "Unless" I added, "Sam is in desperate need of you and Seth's participation."
Leah grunted, "He better not be I swear, I need a break" she said stretching, I heard Embry scoff but continue to pay attention to what he was watching. Leah threw him a dirty look.
"I'm sure they need a break from you too" I said, I saw her look down ashamed, "You have got to stop pissing them off Leah, where your family, don't use us as your punching bag whenever you are mad".
"I no and I'm sorry, it's just that little girlfriend of yours pissed me off" Leah said accusingly.
"About that" I said reminded, "You two have to stop this shit, I have already told you that I'm not going to stand for it anymore!"
"Hey! It wasn't just me, go give the leach the lecture!" she said defensively.
"I already have!" I said, I saw surprise hit Leah's face, "I'm not taking sides in this fight because your both as stubborn as eachother, but I have authority over you so I demand you behave!" I said.
"Fine" Leah said in a huff, "but if she starts it I swear I will finish it!"
I shook my head, knowing that Nessie would have the upper hand in a fight against Leah, Leah new that Renesmee was more competition then she had first expected, though Leah would never admit it.
I decided to change the subject, I much preferred having a conversation with Leah that didn't involve either of us raising out voices, "Where's Sue?" I asked, looking around the corner into the kitchen to make sure I hadn't missed her there.
Leah shrugged, "She gone to pick up some relative that's moved into town or some shit, she should be here like…" Leah looked at the clock, "now".
I looked at the clock, it was 4, Nessie would be home from school, joy flooded through my body. I would leave to see her just after I said hello to Sue. Leah and I talked for a couple of minuets before we heard Sue's car roll up in the driveway.
"Great" Leah muttered to herself, "Seth! Get your arse out here, its time to play happy family" she called to her brother.
"Awesome! Are they here" Seth exclaimed as he entered the room, he looked a lot more enthusiastic about the news of visitors.
Sue came through the door first; "I'm home" Sue called announcing her presence. I heard the jingle of keys and the sound of extra footsteps.
I looked toward Embry, maybe we should of left, I felt intrusive in this family reunion, Embry was so devoured in his TV show that he did notice that the house now had two more people present.
Sue walked through the living and smiled as she saw me, "Hello Jacob didn't expect to see you here today" she said and then kissed her son on the check, Seth grunted away from the affection.
"Where's my cousin" Seth demanded looking around the room eagerly.
"Will you relax Seth she is here" Sue said walking into the kitchen to drop the shopping bags that she held.
Just then I heard footsteps come into the room, Seth noticed them first and ran over to greet his family member. I saw him hug a girl with long brown hair, hair that resembled Nessie's, I felt the ache for her return and I considered leaving to go see her, I looked over at the clock again.
"I'm Seth, it's nice to meet you" I heard him say, and then I heard a soft giggle that sounded familiar.
"It's nice to meet you Seth, I'm Lilly" said a soothing happy voice that I recognised immediately, my head snapped towards Embry who looked at me too, then at the same time out heads turned towards the new member in the room.
Seth let go of her as soon as she introduced herself then looked over to Embry, obviously recognising Lilly from Embry's thoughts. I got a good look at the person the familiar voice had came from and sure enough, It was Lilly Franklin standing in the door way, her face smiling but yet she still looked shy, he eyes saw me and surprise took over her face.
"Oh, Hello Jacob, fancy seeing you here" Lilly said laughing just as Sue returned from the kitchen.
"You know Lilly Jacob?" she asked me looking confused.
"Yeah" I said smiling welcoming at Lilly, "She is one of Renesmee's friends" I said earning a snort from Leah.
Lilly looked at her confused, "Lucky her, Hi Lilly, I'm Leah" Leah said forcing a smile.
"Small world" Sue exclaimed, walking over to put her arm around Lilly.
"Sure Is" I heard Embry's voice state; Lilly looked over to him as well of the rest of us.
"Hello Embry" she said smiling, her voice sounded happier greeting him than it had with me.
"Hey Lilly" Embry said, I noticed the confidence in his voice and smiled, good! He had grown some balls.
Leah looked from Embry to her cousin, then realisation hit her face, "Ohhh" she said smirking.
Leah looked towards me for confirmation of her theory; I nodded knowing she had recognised the sign of an imprint being present in Embry's face.
Everyone talked for a while, Sue informed us of Lilly's story, that her mother had died so she now lived with a woman called Anna who was her mothers bestfriend, I learnt that Lilly's dad Jeff Clearwater was Harry's half-brother and that he had died before Lilly had been born so Lilly's mother Lisa Franklin decided to make Lilly's last name her maiden name in effort to help her forget her father. By the sounds of it Sue wasn't very found of Jeff, I could only guess it was because Jeff and Harry didn't have a good relationship as brothers, and from what I could tell, Lisa Franklin didn't have a good relationship with the father of her child as well.
Lilly didn't look hurt when Sue re-told her life story, Lilly didn't really seem to be paying attention; she was staring at Embry with a confused expression, as if trying to figure something out. Embry just stared back at her with a smirk on his face; I could tell that Lilly was flattered by his looks.
We all talked for a while, Seth enjoyed getting to know his new cousin and explained to Lilly that he was one of Nessie's best friends too. Leah didn't seem very interested in the conversation and I could see that Lilly was intimidated by her like many other girls where, in La Push most of the girls where extremely jealous of Leah Clearwater, she was easily the prettiest and in all there eyes, she was in the gang with all the hottest guys in La Push. I laughed remembering the days when I presumed Sam's pack was a gang as well.
I looked outside, it was still daylight but I knew the light was going to disappear soon, I said goodbye to everyone and asked Embry if he was ready to leave too.
"Nah ill stay a bit longer if that's okay?" Embry asked Sue.
"Of course it is darling, Charlie will be here soon if you get sick of chatting with us" Sue said in her motherly voice.
I scoffed as I stood up from the table, knowing that Embry would be quiet willing to sit and stare at Lilly for a lifetime.
I headed back home, I phased and ran as a wolf, I didn't want to be exhausted when I got home. I got to the cottage and decided to put on a longer pair of jeans and changed into a brown singlet. I jumped out the window with joy, knowing that in a matter of seconds I would see Nessie. I ran inside, my good mood was obviously noticeable as Alice laughed.
"You look like a puppy when you all excited" she said smiling, I knew she didn't say it as a dog remark on purpose, "But you just going to have to wait, Ness is one the phone".
My shoulders dropped, but I still smiled, I waited the whole day to see Nessie I was sure I could wait a couple of minuets.
"Ah well, where is Jasper?" I asked, noticing his absence from this scene.
"That my friend" she said smiling, "Is a very good question, I'm going to find him, see you Jake" and with that she danced out the door.
I stood in the same spot for a minuet, wondering what to do while I waited for Nessie; I decided to go into the garage to see Rose, she should be back from her little vacation.
I found her there just as expected; she was working on the engine of Jasper's Hummer, she was chatting to Bella who sat on the hood of Edwards Volvo next to her.
"Hey you two" I said smiling walking over to them.
"Hey Jake" Bella said happily, I smiled at her then walked over to join Rosalie under the hood.
"Hey Mutt" she said, not looking up from what she was doing, her voice was friendly so I knew she was in a good mood.
"Have you checked the oil?" I asked looking at what she was doing.
"Yeah, its fine, this baby never has anything wrong with it" she said admiringly, I laughed and resurfaced from under the hood and then walked to sit next to Bells.
"You're getting slack mechanic boy, making Rose do all the work" Bella said smirking, Rose turned her head and smiled at Bella.
I laughed then put my arm around Bella's shoulders, "You're right, Rose shouldn't have to do it, Bella I'm sure you could handle it" I said laughing, putting some of the grease I had on my fingers on Bella's nose.
"Okay Gezz I know I'm talentless, no need to bag me" Bella said laughing.
Then I remembered my earlier conversation with Charlie, "I saw Charlie today, make sure you don't make plans for tomorrow night" I said smiling.
Bella looked at me confused, "What's going on" she asked.
"Where going to Charlie's to watch some old home movies" I said laughing. Bella's eyes lit up.
"Hah! This I've got to see, baby Jacob" she said mockingly pinching my check with her cold fingers.
"I'm sure we will all be laughing at your expense rather than mine, you where more of a klutz than me" I said, Rosalie laughed in response.
"I believe that" Rose said laughing; Bella kicked one of Rose's legs laughing too.
"Sounds awesome, what time are we going?" Bella asked.
"6, and I get to drive, I don't trust you behind the wheel of either of your cars" I said quickly letting go of Bella and jumping away from her and she attempted to hit me.
"I'm a good driver" she said offended.
"I'm a good driver" I mocked her in a stupid voice.
Bella frowned and crossed her arms, "Nope I'm not going now, I don't want to spend time with you" she said, trying to pull of the lie.
"Aww Bells" I said chuckling, "Don't worry you can bring your husband, I wont make you suffer being in my presence alone".
Bella dropped then act, "Cant, tomorrow Edward and Nessie are going hunting together, father daughter bonding".
I felt my spirits drop a little; I wanted Nessie to be there tomorrow. "Oh well, you're stuck with me then" I said sadly, "Speaking of Renesmee, she better be off the phone, see you two later".
I left the room and then quickly ran towards the lounge, Renesmee was chatting on the phone with her back to me staring out the window. I approached her smiling.
"Talk to you later Lills" she said and then hung up the phone.
I quickly ran over to her and pulled her into a big tug just as she turned to face me. I held onto her for minuets and she held on just as strongly.
"Aww Jake, ive missed you" she said as I still clung to her.
"Ness you have you idea how much ive missed you" I said into her hair.
Her body in my arms felt amazingly good after it had been absent for so long, my hands stroked her back and her hands played with my hair. We stayed in out embrace even longer until I noticed that the sun was beginning to set.
"Common, lets go for a walk" I said grabbing her hand.
"A walk? Why?" she asked as we got outside.
"Because it's a nice evening" I said looking at the sky, it was, to any human it could have been seen as cold, but to me and Ness the air felt pleasant. The sun glowed bright; the light easily came through the clouds that covered the sun. I still had Renesmee's hand in mine and I stroked the soft skin on her hand with my thumb.
"Lilly said she saw you at Sue's" Nessie said as we walked, her head rested on my arm.
"Yeah, Embry and I went over there today, I had to speak to Leah" I said, I felt Nessie's forehead crease when I mentioned Leah's name.
"Oh yeah, about Embry" Nessie said, "Lilly was saying something…" Ness stoped, considering what to say next.
I frowned, what was going on?
"Lilly swears that he was in her backyard last night, I mean, did you see how he was looking at her yesterday?" Nessie couldn't seem to find the right words.
"Yeah about that Nessie…" I said, but she cut me off.
"I love Embry, don't get me wrong Jake, but he cant like spy on Lilly, I mean I understand if he likes her because a lot of guys do, its just I don't know if I can keep on sticking up for Embry if he is going to follow Lilly and spy on her" said Nessie, she was rambling on endlessly on a point she couldn't stick to.
"Nessie…" I said again, attempting to get her attention but it didn't work she continued to stare past me.
"Lilly like thinks he is a stalker, and then when he was at Sue's it like completely freaked her out I mean its up to Lilly if they go out and I don't want Embry to been seen as like some obsessive freak…" I cut her off by grabbing her shoulders and yanking her around to face me.
"Renesmee!" I said shaking her slightly, it worked, her eyes snapped up to meet mine, "Will you just listen for a second" I said.
She nodded, her eyes still glued to mine. I sat her down on a rock that was near by and I joined her.
"Renesmee you have to understand something, you don't have to worry about Lilly and Embry's relationship" I said smiling.
Nessie turned her head toward me, "How do you know?" she asked curiously.
I inhaled slowly, concentrating on what to say, "Nessie… you know about imprinting yeah?" I asked, knowing the answer.
"You mean like Sam and Emily, and Quil and Claire?" She asked.
"Yes, exactly like them" I said looking at the ground.
"Yes but I don't exactly understand it" she said slowly, looking at the ground too.
"Well when us werewolf's find our soul mate we call it imprinting, because we imprint on them,it's sort of like a permanent bond that is formed, it makes our lives have a point and then we feel as if that one person is our hold here on earth" I said to her quietly, still not meeting her eyes.
"So you become like destined to love them?" she asked.
"You love your imprint no matter what, but they chose on what type of love it is, if they want you to be their brother, then that is what you become. If they want you to become their bestfriend, then that is what you become. And if, they decided that they want you to be their lover, then you will become their devoted lover and you will never ever leave their side, no matter what happens" I said feeling her gaze on me, I looked into her eyes, they where full of questions.
We sat silently for long moment; I listened to the sound of the wind disturbing all of the trees branches as it slowly gushed past. "When does it happen? I mean, when you imprint on them?" she asked.
I continued to stare at her, "After we have changed, when we look our soul mate in the eyes for the very first time" I said looking deep into hers, a sad smile on my face.
She swallowed and then her shoulders dropped and she turned away, she looked upset, oh no, did she figure it out? My heart started pounding, she didn't want it, she didn't want to be my imprint, I shouldn't have said anything, the ache of rejection formed inside of me the ache I would have to overcome for my lifetime.
Nessie opened her mouth to ask something, and then changed her mind, closing it again then continuing to stare in front of her.
Pain consumed my whole body, and I couldn't concentrate on the conversation anymore.
"So that's why Emily and Sam are so inseparable?" she said, she looked at me again.
"Yes, its absolute love, nothing will ever bring them apart" I said.
"Jared and Kim?" she asked, knowing the answer.
"Exactly the same"
"But Quil and Claire? She is so young; Quil doesn't love her that way yet does he?" Nessie asked, she didn't sound repulsed as Bella had when we had the conversation.
"No, not yet, Claire is young and now she wants Quil to be her bestfriend, so Quil will be, but as soon as she is old enough to realise she loves him, Quil will love her back"
"What if Claire preferred them to stay friends?" I felt the pain double inside of me, I didn't know if she was referencing to our relationship.
"Well then Quil remain her friend, no matter how much it hurts him, he will accept it, but I doubt that will happen, it will be hard for Claire to not want her other half, Quil was made exactly to fit her"
Nessie moved closer to me and held my hand, that made the pain ease, maybe she didn't know yet.
"So Embry imprinted on Lilly?" asked Nessie.
"Yes, so you don't have to worry about there friendship or their relationship, it will work out they way it is suppose to, imprinting usually does".
"What happens if it doesn't work out so easily, I mean, what if say Sam loved someone else before he loved Emily, would he still imprint?" she asked.
I looked at her, did she know Sam's story? But her eyes looked confused, she was honestly curious. "Well that is what sort of happened" I started, I felt her stiffen as she listened, "Emily wasn't Sam's first love, Sam had a girlfriend who he loved more than anything before he met Emily, but as soon as he looked into Emily's eyes none of it mattered".
"So he just left his girlfriend" she asked harshly.
"Nessie don't judge Sam, you don't understand, he hates himself for it even now, it hurts him everyday knowing he did that to her, but Sam loves Emily more than anything, she means more to him than life itself" I said.
"It still hurts him? Knowing that he broke his girlfriend's heart?"
"It's a pain that he always has to live with, he will never forgive himself for what he did to Leah" I said softly.
Nessie's head snapped up, she looked at me wide eyed, oh yes, I hadn't mentioned Leah yet, "Leah was Sam's girlfriend!" said Nessie, her voice full of pity and concern, much different from the usual acid tone that spoke Leah's name.
I just nodded, Nessie sat thinking for what felt like hours, her mouth slightly opened in shock, "Poor Leah" her voice was barely a whisper.
"Leah's tough, she handles it" I said, it was true I admired Leah's strength on the situation daily.
"How can she? She lost her love, how can she handle it?"
"She knows just how powerful the commitment and love of imprinting is, she knows that she never had a chance"
Nessie put her arms around me suddenly then moved to sit on my lap, she clung to me for dear life and I held onto her back, Nessie seemed horrified by this part of my life, and I would never be able to understand why, all I could do was wait and see how our life turned out, I didn't want Nessie to be filled with guilt for the rest of her life if she chose not to want me, I wanted to her happy if that was the case, at least one of us needed to be happy.
