Note: This was supposed to be the last chapter, but ominously mimicking Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back, the story said to me, "No, there is another..." What else could I do except nod my head and obey like a good padawan? In the meantime I hope y'all enjoy...
...CHAPTER EIGHT.
They rolled around playfully in bed, kissing and caressing each other's nakedness in the moonlight streaming through the windows. Soon play became a more serious business and the heat could only be satisfied by joining completely. Jax lay on his back and Tara sat straddling him, rubbing his face, plunging her hands in his hair and then sliding back to smooth her palms over his pecs. He was utterly gorgeous, she was so in love, and all she wanted to do at that moment was ride him fast and hard until they reached ecstatic oblivion.
She leaned down and he curved his hand around her nape, capturing her mouth in another sweet kiss. When she sat upright again, he looked at her in wonder, sliding his hands up and down her thighs, caressing her waist, kneading her breasts. He pressed a thumb into her belly button. Sighing, Tara's head dropped back languorously and Jax's groin tightened even more if that were possible. He had to have her – now.
But when he fumbled for a condom in the bedside drawer, Tara pulled his hand away and mouthed the word 'No.'
"Babe, – are you on something?"
"No." She began to rub herself against his length and his eyes fluttered closed for an instant before he held her hips still.
"But we might, y'know, get pregnant – if we aren't already. Because earlier we didn't –
"I know. It's okay."
Jax reached over, turned on the lamp and stared piercingly into her eyes.
"Do you want to have a baby now?"
She smiled down at him. "I'm very open to the idea. You?"
He began to caress her again with a tender smile. "I'd love it but – we're getting married, we're moving, I don't have another job yet and neither do you, so – I thought you'd want all the dust to settle first before – "
Tara shrugged, leaned forward and kissed him long and sensually. By the time she let him up for air, he looked dazed but happy.
"Jax, baby – there's always going to be something else going on in our lives. We could have had about three kids by now, if it weren't for – " She looked down, regret momentarily clouding her features.
"Hey," Jax said, concerned.
"When it comes to us, I just don't to wait anymore."
He studied her for a moment and closed his eyes briefly as he kissed her fingers. Jax grinned suddenly and rolled over so that Tara was beneath him, framing her face with his hands. "I love you. And I want to have more babies with you – as many as you want." And then he set about proving it repeatedly in such a way that had them both hoarse, exhausted and trembling throughout the night.
/
"So you came to tell me first," Opie intoned solemnly.
"Yeah."
He and Jax were sipping beers around two in the afternoon the next day on the steps in front of Opie's house.
"Well,…guess it's time for some changes. Tara's been holding it down for you, raising your son, dealing with Gemma, fixing up the brothers' scrapes." He looked down at the ground between his feet. "If you can give her something else before it's too late, do it."
"Yeah, that's the plan." Jax took a last swig from his can and set it down. He wondered if Opie was thinking about Donna and wanted to steer his friend away from that. "What about you? What's going on between you and Lyla?"
"Nothing." He sighed heavily. "She needs to quit her job."
"She still doing that?"
Opie stared out into the distance.
"Didn't you ever tell her how you felt about it?" Jax didn't know how Opie was able to deal with Lyla remaining in the porn industry. He personally would have lost his shit all over southern California if it were Tara.
"The money's alright."
"Not if it breaks up your marriage. And when it does, Lyla's going to be blindsided wondering what the hell went wrong because you never said anything. Look, you don't talk much, Op – never have and that's fine. But you can't clam up about this and expect her to read your mind."
"Yeah. Yeah, I know. But – I feel like she should've wanted to fucking quit after we became official."
"Yeah, she should have but for whatever reason, she didn't. Lyla's a nice girl but kinda naive. She doesn't mean to disrespect you. So if this is going to be the first time she's hearing from you about it, don't go at her like a mad bull. Just tell her and see what she says."
"Dude, I'm the calmest thing around here. You and Tig are the ones who go from zero to a buck ten."
Jax's eyes narrowed. "Don't compare me to that fucker."
Opie smirked at him.
"So if you're finished making jokes…what are you gonna do about Lyla?"
"What you said, man. I'm not stupid."
Jax rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well – that's debatable."
"Shut up."
They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the breeze. Then Opie stood up. "I won't be at church today."
"What?"
"I'm tired of the bullshit. I want to spend time with my kids."
"I get that but this is one time I need you at church, Opie."
"No, you don't." The look on his face was hard. "You're leaving the club and I'm gonna be your best man. Piney'll tell me anything else I need to know."
"What are you talking about? If it comes down to a vote, I'll need you there."
Opie fell silent for a moment and shoved his hands in his pockets. "The son of John Teller who's also the current VP wants out. You know damn well they're gonna stall a vote." Opie stared down at Jax with an unreadable expression. "I've got your back, no matter what. You and me came before Samcro, brother."
/
The silence around the church table was palpable. Clay's face looked as if he'd eaten ten ripe lemons.
"What are you saying, son? I don't think I heard you right. Maybe I'm going deaf."
Tig's glare was like two hot lasers boring into Jax's face. "Nah, man, I heard the same thing. And I knew it. I fucking knew he'd do something like this! I tried to tell you but nobody would listen…"
"Jackie Boy, what's going on?"
"My life is going on, Chibs, – a life I almost lost," Jax replied evenly. "Now I want to live it my way."
"Listen to this Hallmark Card bullshit!" cried Tig. "The fuck, man?"
Clay held up a hand, impatiently. "Just – turn down the volume, will ya? As it turns out, I'm not deaf – yet. Jax, why don't you take some time up at the cabin – get your head straight. You've been through a lot of shit. We all have."
"I have a family and I'm going to do what's best for them. I don't want Tara or my son ending up like Luanne – or Lowell, Sr. and Jr. Or a whole bunch of other fucking people. It's really as simple as that."
Juice looked crestfallen. "Jax, you – you brought me into this family. It's because of you that I'm here. So what are you saying? You sponsored me, man."
Jax smiled a little. "And I don't regret it. You're good for the club. But things change."
"No, not things, man," said Tig. "People change, certain special people you can't trust. They run scared when the shit hits the fan. Like now."
"If pretending I'm a coward makes you feel comfortable in your own skin, I got nothing to do with that. But here's the thing, I've put my life on the line for this club many times. I've been completely loyal to it, given up everything for it and saved it – more than once – after one of you went off half-cocked and landed us all in some everybody sitting at this table knows it. What I'm doing now, I've earned and it really isn't up for discussion. I'm bringing this to the table as a courtesy."
Sitting back, Tig looked away, fuming. "This guy, man. Shit."
"So how's this supposed to work?" snapped Clay. "You quit, abandon this club your father created, lose who you are, the only life you've ever known, and break your mother's heart. You're actually going to cover your ink, Jax?"
"No, I'm keeping my ink. This charter wouldn't exist right now without me. I am the patch."
"You can't have it both ways."
"Are you really gonna try to buck me on this? It's time for this club to reciprocate something – to me."
Kozik rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I kinda see where you're coming from, Jax, but – what's the point of being a club if we don't have rules to follow, rules that set us apart?"
"Yeah, we have rules, Koz. But I notice we don't always follow them." Jax looked pointedly at Tig. "Do we, brother? And the world keeps turning."
"Oh, you're talking about me not following rules? You think this club owes you something. Well, this club don't owe you shit! We're supposed to give up everything for it, prince. That's the fucking point."
"Enough!" barked Piney, slapping his hand on the table. "If the man wants out, he's out - and he keeps his ink and the patch. The lot of you would still be fighting off back door loverboys for the next thirteen years if it wasn't for him."
"We got rules," Happy said simply in his raspy voice.
Bobby shook his head and snorted derisively. "Yeah, but they didn't come from Moses on the g*ddamn mountain. We're an outlaw biker gang. We break rules all the time and we doowe Jax a helluva lot. So if he wants out, give it to him. We don't even need to vote on it."
They all stared at him. It was noticeable to everyone that Bobby had become more assertive during the last year and a half.
"Oh that's rich coming from you, Bobby."
"What the hell's that supposed to mean, Tig? You sure got a lot to say lately. Why are you such a whiny bitch? Did somebody catch you in the shower at Spee when no one was looking?"
"I'm gonna shut your mouth for you, you fat hebe!" Tig lunged across the table and Chibs restrained him with difficulty.
Clay angrily banged the gavel on the table. "Shut up, all of you! Tig!"
It took a minute for everyone to settle down before he continued. "Jax, clearly a decision can't be made on this right now."
Jax stood up. "A decision has been made."
There was another furor when he stalked out of the church room. He felt conflicted even then. It was the conflict of being committed to a new life verses leaving an old one that had meant almost everything to him for as long as he could remember. Truthfully, he felt a little sick.
"Hey, Jacky," said Chibs, touching his arm as he managed to catch up with him outside. "No matter what happens I'm on your side."
"Thanks, man." Jax was grateful for the words but did they mean Chibs would go against the club for him? Chibs was the most righteous Son and one of the best men Jax ever met but he couldn't bet his family's safety on that.
Before they had a chance to say anything else, Gemma came barreling out of the Teller Morrow office. They saw Juice slink hurriedly away after exiting behind her. She came rushing over to Jax like an avenging goddess, chest heaving and hair flying everywhere.
"Jackson!"
"Er, I'll be leaving ya to it, lad." Chibs beat a hasty retreat.
Gemma wasted no time. "Tell me Juice is on some PCP shit!"
He didn't want to have it out with her right now but since it seemed he didn't have a choice, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.
"The silent treatment isn't going to work, baby. You're going to tell me something. Juice said you're trying to leave the club – trying to give up the patch!"
He took a deep drag and exhaled. "Leaving the club, keeping the patch."
Gemma's eyes widened and turned obsidian black. "Now you listen to me, Jackson. You need time to adjust to being out. That's all it is. I know a jail term is no picnic. Everyone knows that. And it's only a badge of honor if it's a sacrifice for the club - which you made, baby. Take all the time you need. But make no mistake – Samcro is in your blood and it's not going anywhere. And neither are you."
"Why'd you join up with the Sons? Supposedly you fell in love with Dad and you were real young. I get that. But why are you so fierce about this shit? It's all gone down a hole, Mom. Can't you see that? Do you even remember what this club was like before the guns and the greed?"
Gemma pursed her lips. "Here you go. You sound just like your father did towards the end. Don't go down that same road and lose your grip like he did. Deal with the here and now. The legacy he left is still good, Jax."
He tossed the cig to the ground and mashed the tip. "I want a different legacy for my kids."
Her eyes narrowed. "Kids? You ain't had time to put a bun in that oven yet. Or did you manage to get a conjugal visit somehow?"
Jax just stared at her. "Sometimes talking to you is like talking in circles, going nowhere. I'm done here." As he walked away he said, "By the way I'm getting married."
Temporarily speechless, Gemma stared at his retreating back, her fists clenched at her sides, and then hurried over and stood right in his path when he mounted his ride. "If you walk away from this family, you don't come back!"
He studied her for moment before revving the engine. The look of finality in his eyes made Gemma's heart thud with panic.
"So be it," he said and drove around her.
"If you do this, you don't come back, Jackson! Do you hear me? You don't ever come back!"
Gemma stood there long after the roar of the Dyna faded in the distance.
