A/N: This is it, everyone. The last chapter.
Purlysurly, I hope you had fun reading this as much as I had while writing.
Once again, let me thank my beta and fic-wifey, Shae Maen for having my back and doing this on such a short notice. I love you, babes.
And Deonne has done an amazing job organizing this year's FAGE.
And last but not the least, a massive thank you goes to my lovely readers for taking the time to read this fic and trusting me with their hearts. You all are awesome.
Chapter-8: Twisted Logic and Mended Hearts
After the debacle with James, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen lead the guests back to their backyard where Alice and Jasper's engagement party is being held. And after making sure that I am indeed alright, our friends leave to join the party as well, leaving Edward to tend to my bruised upper arms.
He doesn't say anything as he leads me toward his old bedroom and makes me sit on the bed before going to look for a first-aid kit. I don't break the silence as he puts bandages on the places where James' nails had pierced my skin. Just as he's putting away everything, my eyes fall on his knuckles—his bloody knuckles. "What happened to your hand?" I gasp.
"James," he spits out the name like a curse. "The asshole has a hard head."
"Edward! You need to have that taken care of," I admonish softly, reaching for his hand.
He snatches his hand out of my outstreched ones and stands up abruptly, agitation plainly visible on his face. Shocked by the sudden distance between us, I gape at him as he breathes heavily. "Edward?" I call his name tentatively.
The sound of his name makes him step back close to me, closer than before so our bodies are almost touching. On shaky legs, I stand up to my full height, feeling like I'd need all my strength for whatever is coming.
For a long moment, he doesn't speak. Then in a hoarse voice, he whispers, "Why?"
"Why what?" I breathe, my heart beating faster than a hummingbird's wings.
"Why him?" he clarifies. "Why didn't you come to me instead?"
A white-hot anger surges through me at his accusatory tone and without thinking of what I'm doing, I grab ahold of his collars and bring our faces closer. "Why would I?" I ask back, keeping my eyes on his. "You never would've seen me as anything other than a friend. You'd always date whoever you fancy and then come to me to mourn the loss when you break up. You keep saying your heart hurts whenever a relationship ends, but you never realize that I'm the one you come to seeking for a cure. I'm tired of going around circles again and again with you. I'm tired of the heartbreak." As I confess the last bit, the fire leaves my voice and my hands go slack, knowing that my admission might've just cost me my friendship with him.
He opens his mouth but I shake my head, needing to get this out. "Look, I know I'm not your ideal type. I'm not blind, Edward, but I just wish you understood that my heart hurts too when yours does. I know that after this, you might never want to see me again and I know it'll hurt so bad that I'd probably wish that I had never told you this. But I can't take it anymore. I just can't. I'm sorry, but I can't be your friend and keep healing your broken heart only so you can break mine when the next girl comes around."
Tears, unbidden and unwelcome, stream down my face, probably making a mess of my makeup, but I can't seem to stop them. All the hurt and resentment from the years I've known him and seen him chase one girl after another, comes pouring out of me.
I try to step away from him, needing to remove myself from his company to keep my humiliation to myself, but before I can take more than one step, his reaches out, wrapping his arm around my back, holding me to him.
"Will you please stop trying to run away from me and let me tell you my side of the story?" he asks, his eyes soft as he takes my chin to make me meet his eyes.
"What more is there to say, Edward? I get it, OK? I just ..."
"No, you don't," he says, stopping me mid-sentence. "You don't know anything, Bella. You don't know that when we were in school, you were considered too young for me so I had to act like a big brother around you. Then we all grew up and age became just a number, but you were Alice's best friend; hell, her only friend till Rose came back to town. So how could I jeopardize your friendship with Alice by asking you out? I couldn't, Bell. I wanted to though."
"You … did?" I ask with disbelief.
"God! Yes, I did. So many times I've been on the verge of asking you out, but you were my best friend too by that point and I couldn't risk us breaking up one day and never speaking again. I couldn't lose you so I tried to keep myself occupied with other girls. But that never worked. You were always in my mind." He stops to chuckle under his breath. "I think I even hallucinated of you after the falling out we had two months back."
A suspicion sneaks up on me, and I ask, "Why would you call me after your break ups?"
"Call it morbid curiosity," he says, shaking his head at himself. "I knew I could never have you, but I wanted to see how you would react if you knew that I was single again. I think I hoped you'd tell me it's OK if we date, but you never did."
Narrowing my eyes, I ask about the time he had practically stomped on my heart. "And the night at the bar with Victoria?"
He sighs, his arms tightening imperceptibly around me. "Was a mistake," he admits. "When I called you, I had had enough and I actually wanted to ask you out on a date, but then, I chickened out."
"And asked me to be your wingwoman?"
He nods, looking mortified. "I'd never been to that bar and never had seen Victoria either. Then you came in looking like you had stepped right out of my dreams and I just picked the first random chick I caught checking me out, just to make myself stop from reaching out to you."
"Then why did you keep seeing her?" I ask, baffled by his words.
"Your reaction to her. She's the one you disliked the most, and I could sense it from the very beginning. So I kept her around so that you'd get mad and finally tell me that you wanted to explore a future with me. But then, James happened."
"Yeah, James happened."
"I hated him the moment I heard about him from Emmett," he confesses. "Long before you brought him around to meet everyone. I had found out that he had joined the classes right when you did, and something felt off about him. I kept waiting for you to throw him away and come to me, but you never did."
"You just cut me off," I argue. "You never came around, never called or took my calls. How could you be so heartless?" I ball up my hand in a fist and thump his chest lightly. "How could you leave me like that?"
"Because my heart hurt, Bell," he answers, wrapping a hand around mine and holding my hand over his heart. "It didn't hurt over the breakups, it hurt with every time you didn't acknowledge the feelings I could sense between us. It hurt so much when you brought him to meet everyone and took his side. I wanted the pain to go away, and stupidly thought going away from you would help."
"It didn't?" I ask, a dim light of hope igniting in my heart.
Shaking his head, he says, "Not in the slightest. When I finally had you in my arms tonight, it felt like I could breathe again. I never want to lose you again."
My heart stops at his words. So all this would be for nothing? After so much heartache, will we be stuck in the friendzone again?
He must see my shell-shocked expression because he moves his hands to cup my face between his. "I'm not saying I want to be friends again," he tells me.
"Then what are you saying?"
"I'm saying, I want to be more. I want to be your everything, Bell. I know I'm not perfect, but I also know that you hate white roses." His reference to that day from long ago makes me smile. "I know you prefer blue. Hydrangeas if possible, but you absolutely love wildflowers because you feel that they're the most neglected out there. We are not perfect, but when I'm with you, I feel like together, we can be."
I stop him by placing a finger on his lips. "I don't mind imperfections. I'd much rather have an imperfect future with you than a perfect one without you."
"Ah! But it wouldn't be a perfect future without us being together now, would it?" he teases with a wink. Just as I'm about to give my two cents about the matter, he lifts my face to his and presses his lips to mine, sealing our perfectly imperfect future with his kiss.
"I love you," he whispers once our lips are separated.
I smile and pull myself up to him to kiss him again. "I love you too," I whisper against his lips, my broken heart finally feeling whole again.
A/N: And that's a wrap, people.
Thank you for reading.
Please share your thoughts with me and leave a review.
It's past 3 am my time now. So I'm off to bed, hopefully leaving you with mended hearts as well.
Goodnight and God bless.
Until next time.
Love,
Ann
