Author's Note: So, I hate to preface a chapter with "this crap sucks," but... to be honest, this chapter totally sucks xD I re-wrote it four times before I settled on this version, and no amount of inspirational images, songs, and stories could get me into my 'story writing mode' to make it better. In fact, at one point I was listening to 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails, and the chapter turned into a Zevran-sex flashback xDD But I scrapped that, cuz my sex scenes suck, and this story isn't about Zevran, as much as I do like sex with him ;)

No matter how I wrote it, Zevran and Tori's relationship seemed so... shallow. Either that or it seemed like they're in love (which they're not). It's just... special. It's a very close friendship, that just so happened to have a physical aspect, a sort of a deeper understanding. Zevran knew the pain his only true friend was going through, and knew what she needed to help her get over it. I just can't seem to explain it properly with words, bleh! :(

So, bear with this chapter, I know it's disappointing, but to make up for it the next chapter will be from Cullen's point of view, yay! ;)


Toriana had been right about Zevran lightening the mood. She spent the rest of the morning laughing and joking with her old friend as they caught up. Zevran had stuck around for a few months after the death of the Archdemon to help Tori rebuild the Grey Wardens, but eventually he had left to 'take care of some business' in Antiva (which he refused to explain in that slippery way of his). He visited every few years, but the visits were always short and he was often distracted by whatever his 'business' was. Apparently Tori had been lucky to catch him in Kirkwall, as he was just passing through to finish a job before going back to Ferelden.

"I would have visited you at the Keep, of course!" he reassured her with a grin when she accused him of avoiding her. "How could I resist you for too long, my dear Warden?" She laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Their relationship must have seemed a bit strange to her fellow Wardens, but Toriana didn't give any other explanation beyond his part in the quest to end the Blight. In truth, after Alistair had ended it between them, Toriana had floundered her way into Zevran's arms and his bed, taking solace in the familiar man's presence and grateful for the distraction from her heartache.

They had slept together often in the months after Alistair's wedding, and both understood that what they had was not romantic, only… a good friendship with certain physical benefits. Toriana was grateful for a friend who helped chase away the gnawing want in her belly and kept her bed warm at night, and Zevran was delighted to have a friend who was both eager in bed and wanted no emotional attachments beyond friendship.

Toriana loved having him around – always full of jokes and lighthearted banter, with plenty of sexual innuendo thrown in. He was a true friend, and having him in Kirkwall now was a relief beyond measure. While she held her Wardens dear, she didn't know them like she knew Zevran, like she had known all of her companions during the Blight. It was a different kind of friendship, one that came from saving the nation together, from almost dying countless times together.

After questioning many of the locals as to where the darkspawn fled to after their attack, Toriana and her group – now five instead of four – made their way to the Templar Hall.

Seeing such a large group of templars lined up made Toriana want to shudder. It brought back memories of the corrupted Circle, with enchanted templars doing the bidding of demons. It made her think of the Circle before Uldred's blood magic, with templars at every corner, watching. Always watching. When she had been an apprentice it hadn't bothered her as much as made her sad that so many peoples' lives were chained to the Circle, not just the mages'. Now it just made her angry. The Circle was a prison to all who entered it.

She resisted the urge to shiver as she walked up to Cullen. Toriana held her head high and kept her expression and voice aloof, "Are your men ready, Knight-Commander?"

Cullen turned from where he had been inspecting the templars, and a flash of… something went across his eyes before he schooled his features into an expression as detached as hers. "At your word, Warden-Commander."

Toriana heard Zevran's low whistle behind her, and his accented voice as he whispered, "You would think they were married and one was unfaithful, the way they glare at each other." Moiraine quickly shushed him, sounding a bit fearful for their safety as her Commander turned and gave the elf a look that would have made ice look warm. Zevran only chuckled and winked mischievously.

Luckily, Cullen didn't appear to have heard.

"Then we move." With that, Toriana turned on her heel and walked from the Templar Hall, heading for the city gates with her considerably larger group on her heels.

Luckily, during her earlier questioning a particularly helpful guardsman had told her the direction the darkspawn had taken out of the city, and informed her of an entrance to the Deep Roads in the woods he said his wife's friend had found years before. She made sure to commit Ser Donnic's name to memory in order to give him some sort of reward if his information proved true.

Intent on ignoring the Knight-Commander not far behind her, Toriana joined in the light conversation between Zevran and Moiraine as they walked through the forest outside the city. It felt good to somewhat relax again, in the company of people she trusted and actually liked, and by the time they actually found darkspawn, she was smiling and laughing along with her friends.

When Toriana felt the strange, skin-crawling sensation that alerted her to darkspawn nearby, she held up a hand commanding a stop, turning and holding a finger to her lips to signal silence. Wordlessly, she unhooked her staff from her back and gestured for her companions to fall into a defensive stance. Much to her relief, Cullen's men obeyed her commands until they were spread out with their backs to each other in a loose circle.

She could not see the darkspawn, the trees were too thick, but knew they were likely on the move, hunting them even as they were prey themselves; the ability to sense the darkspawn was a double-edged blade that allowed the monsters to sense Grey Wardens as well as the other way around. With a deep breath, Tori let her magic flow through her, igniting her hands into balls of flame that licked her hands like a half-tamed wolf: under control, but dangerous.

Before she could issue more commands to her men, the darkspawn were upon them. It was a small group – scouts, most likely, or stragglers – of perhaps thirty hurlocks and genlocks, and Toriana wasn't worried in the least, confident in her men's abilities.

Her staff cut through the air with a whistle as she deflected an arrow aimed for her chest and fired a ball of flame towards the stout genlock that had shot it. Twisting to barely avoid a hurlock sword, she beheaded another hurlock and in the same movement curled her hand into a fist and watched, satisfied, as the hurlock that had stabbed at her moments before froze, icicles spearing through its chest in a sickly spray of tainted blood.

The battle was over in less than a minute, and Toriana smiled proudly as she watched Moiraine dispatch the last hurlock, which was probably twice her weight, with those twirling daggers of hers. The templars were going around and making sure all of the darkspawn were dead, and a quick glance assured her that Cullen was unharmed.

Zevran tugged one of his daggers free from a genlock's skull and wiped the blade on the grass before smirking at the Warden-Commander, "I see you are still as deadly a sex goddess as ever, Toriana," he purred as he returned his daggers to his back.

That elicited a giggle from Moiraine, a strangled, awkward cough from Carver, and a strange look from Cullen. Tori just laughed and punched Zevran lightly on the shoulder, "You know me, oh so sex goddess-y," she joked with a self-deprecating chuckle and a shake of her head.

The sound of retching caught her attention and Tori turned to see a young templar bent over, dry heaving over a bush on the edge of the recent battlefield. Sympathy washed over her despite the man's templar armor, and, seeing no one else was going to comfort him, Toriana went to his side.

"Never fought darkspawn before, have you?" she asked in as gentle a voice she could manage. The man, who must have been only nineteen or so, shook his head with his eyes closed, not looking at her. She reached out a hand and patted him reassuringly on his heavily armored shoulder, "You'll get used to it, don't worry," she murmured, and when he looked over at her disbelievingly she grinned sheepishly, "When I first fought darkspawn I couldn't walk for nearly five minutes, I was shaking so badly."

The man let out a laugh but quickly stifled it with a timid glance at her, mumbling out an apology. Afraid to laugh? Of course, templars weren't supposed to be happy or have senses of humor, she had almost forgotten. Toriana laughed herself and shook her head, "No, don't worry, it was quite hilarious if you didn't count that I had gotten darkspawn blood in my mouth. Now that's a flavor that'll give you nightmares," she winked and patted his shoulder again when he didn't hold back his laughter this time, shaky as it was.

Satisfied that the man was straightening up and no longer looking quite so sickly, she gave him an encouraging nod before returning to her Wardens. "Come on, we must be getting close."

With that, they left the bodies of the darkspawn and continued through the woods, the Grey Wardens and the elf talking as if nothing unusual had happened. The templars' silence as they walked seemed strange to Toriana, who was used to the light talk of the Wardens, even while fighting darkspawn.

For if the Grey Wardens didn't make light of their situation, what was the point of continuing as they did, with their dark, morbid lives?