Hello everybody! I do hope my last chapter didn't put any of you off. It was, as a friend put it, a "filler chapter," and necessary, but a bit tedious. Still, the story goes on, and I promise this chapter to be much more interesting, albeit a bit sad. Nonetheless, please enjoy, and thank you so much for bearing with me this far!
Kurt had to force himself to concentrate on his algebra exam the morning after the wild reunion of the Sons of Ignatius Dalton. His head was still swimming not just from the festivities, but from the whopper of a confession that Blaine had dropped at the meeting. So, he too had seen the ghost of Ignatius Dalton before. Kurt was still in absolute shock. How could it be? Maybe only a gifted few could see the man whose namesake graced the Warblers' secret society. Still, he was inwardly grateful that he wasn't the only one. It made him feel less crazy.
He decided to give his sore neck a quick break from the exam. As he sat back and stretched, he saw that Blaine was outside the window in the hallway, trying to get his attention. Kurt smiled and waved. Blaine mouthed Meet me at the grand staircase after your test! He flashed his beautiful, radiant smile, and Kurt's heart skipped a beat.
"Mr. Hummel!" Mrs. Addison, the algebra teacher, gave him a stern look.
Kurt tore his attention from the window, embarrassed as Blaine ran, giggling, down the hall. She continued. "Need I remind you that you are taking an exam? I'm pretty certain Mr. Anderson does not have the answers."
Kurt could feel all eyes on him as his face reddened. "I'm sorry, ma'am." He proceeded to finish his test, but as everyone turned back to their papers, no one could see the grin he had on his face.
When Kurt found Blaine, the handsome boy was seated at the foot of the stairs, finishing a pumpkin muffin. "Hey, Ghostbuster," Blaine mused, giving him a wink.
"You should talk," Kurt chuckled, giving him an affectionate sock on the arm. Blaine laughed.
"So, how'd your algebra exam go?"
"Ugh, I'd rather not think about it," Kurt replied. "It's not that I think I did poorly, it's just that I hate math." Blaine nodded, knowingly. The two boys were excellent with grammar and vocabulary and loved words, but they shared a mutual hatred of any math more complicated than simple arithmetic.
"I hear that," Blaine replied with a shudder. He shook it off, and turned to face Kurt. "Do you… Want to go somewhere? I mean, now that you're done with your test, I just thought maybe you'd like to unwind."
Kurt was so startled by the question that he almost thought he'd imagined it. "Um… Sure!" He did his best not to sound too overly excited.
Blaine smiled and offered his hand. Kurt stared at it, blankly. "Come on," Blaine said with a gleam in his honey-gold eyes. "Let me take you to my fortress of solitude." Kurt gingerly took his hand.
They ran. Kurt was reminded of that very first day, when the New Directions had sent him to spy on the Warblers. He remembered running through the Baroque hall on the way to the senior commons. He recalled giving side glances to the handsome stranger who had been so kind as to show him around the grounds. He should have known right then and there that he could easily fall in love with Blaine. Of course, that flirty rendition of "Teenage Dream" certainly helped set the mood. Kurt inwardly sighed. I'm like a modern Charlie Brown pining after a red-haired girl who may not ever love me back.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when he realized that they had stopped in front of a beautiful glass building. He didn't know what he was supposed to be seeing. He was about to ask, when Blaine held the front door open for him. He was always such a gentleman. "Thanks," he whispered as the two stepped inside. Kurt was dumbfounded by the sight that greeted him.
Tall, exotic plants and breathtaking flowers filled the scene with an intoxicating mix of pleasant aromas. On a brick walkway, directly in front of them, was a large stone fountain, complete with cherubs and other heavenly beings. Kurt followed Blaine to a beautiful lacy iron-work bench where the two took a seat. Kurt gazed awestruck at the scenery around him. He might as well have stepped into Wonderland.
"Are we still on campus?" Kurt could not help but ask.
Blaine laughed at the boy's obvious fascination. "I guess you didn't know that we have a botanical garden on the grounds."
Kurt marveled at the color that surrounded him. He indeed had no idea that such a place existed on campus. The botanical garden was like a splash of vibrant color amidst the gray canvas that was Dalton Academy.
A peaceful silence had come over the boys. It seemed a long while before Blaine spoke. "This is my fortress of solitude. I always come here when I need time to empty my head of all stress and problems." He paused for a moment before looking directly into Kurt's sea-blue eyes. "You're the first person I've ever brought here."
Kurt could feel his face flush. "Really? You mean no one else knows about your private place?"
"Well, they know about the botanical garden, but they don't know how often I come here and what it means to me. I've never shared this place with anyone else before. I brought you here because…" Blaine paused, trying to find the right words to say. "…You're the only other person in the Warblers and Sons who truly understands me. Out of all my friends, you're the only one who's always there for me no matter what." The boy gave him a small smile. "That and I thought you'd enjoy it too," he added quickly.
Kurt was on the verge of tears. They were the nicest, kindest words that anyone had ever said to him. He looked down as he spoke. "Wow, Blaine," he began while desperately trying to fight back the sobs that he knew were forming in his chest. "No one's ever said anything like that to me before."
"It's the truth," Blaine replied matter-of-factly. "The faculty at McKinley has no idea what they lost when you transferred, Kurt."
Kurt couldn't fight back anymore. His vision became blurred as the hot tears began to flow. Blaine scooted closer and hugged the sobbing boy, soothing him.
"I'm—I'm so sorry for crying like this," Kurt said through sobs.
"Don't apologize, Kurt," Blaine said softly. "It's better to let it all out."
It's better to let it all out. Kurt turned over the words in his head. Blaine, (and yes, even Dr. Phil,) was absolutely right. Concealing thoughts and emotions were the fast track to emotional self-destruction. Had it not been Blaine himself who had always told Kurt to have courage? His heart racing, he knew what he had to do. He was finally going to confess his feelings to Blaine. It was time to step up to the plate. It's now or never, he thought, his heart pounding.
Kurt disengaged from the embrace and wiped the stray tears away. He could feel the pair of golden brown eyes on him as he sat for a moment to regain his composure. "I didn't mean to get so emotional. It's just not that often that I hear nice things being said to me."
"Hey, don't apologize," Blaine said sternly. "I was merely speaking the truth."
Kurt beamed. "You're terribly sweet," he said, smiling. This is it, he thought. Here I go. "Blaine?"
Blaine turned to him and smiled. "Hmm?"
The boy felt as if all air had been sucked out of the room. Why was it becoming so difficult to breathe? Kurt's gaze darted from Blaine's eyes to his sensuous lips to his chiseled jaw. He gulped, the words had already formed in his mouth, but for some reason, they were just so difficult to say. "There's something I have to tell you."
Blaine sat up attentively, giving him his undivided attention.
"Look, Blaine, in regards to everything you just said to me, I think you're one of the nicest, sweetest people I've ever had the privilege of getting to know."
It was Blaine's turn to blush. He reddened slightly before Kurt continued. "Thanks, Kurt…"
Kurt held up a hand and smiled, signifying that he had to continue. "But, what I'm trying to say is…" He gulped. "…My feelings for you might run a little deeper than just friendship."
Blaine looked absolutely taken aback by Kurt laying his heart bare. He was completely dumbfounded. "Wow, Kurt. I…" He ran his fingers through his perfectly coiffed hair. "I didn't know you felt that way."
Kurt could not read anything from Blaine's expression. He would be the only man in the world whose expression was damn near impossible to read.
After a lull in the conversation that felt to Kurt like an eternity, Blaine spoke. "Listen, Kurt, I am really, truly touched that you feel that way about me, and you know that I deeply care about you, but…" Uh oh, the dreaded 'but,' Kurt thought. Please don't tell me it will never be! "…I'm actually, kind of, in the process of…" Blaine stammered, licking his lips. "…I'm seeing somebody."
The words hit Kurt square in the chest like emotional bullets. In the month-and-a-half that he had known Blaine, there was never any inkling, any hint, any sign that the handsome Warbler was romantically involved. On the contrary, he seemed to be completely unattached. Most of his free time was spent on conditioning his voice, practicing and building endurance for the next school or off-campus performance or competition. How did he even have time for a boyfriend, what with the workload at Dalton?
The only way Kurt felt relieved in this moment was that he had finally cleared his conscience regarding his feelings. Beyond that, he felt numb, even a little depressed. Still, he forced himself to be somewhat interested in the paramour that Blaine had referenced. "Who is he?"
Blaine could sense that Kurt was inwardly miserable and turned away. "His name's Jeremiah. He works at the Gap over at the North Hills Mall."
Kurt cursed internally. He had to have a poetic, pretty name like "Jeremiah." Damn it! "How long have you two known each other?"
"Look, Kurt, we don't have to talk about it…"
"No, I want to know. I mean, if you're really uncomfortable talking about it, then we won't. But I'm just curious is all."
Blaine buried his face in his hands. "We met at the end of the summer. Nick Corwin was a having an end-of-summer pool party, and I accidentally spilled my virgin piña colada on this curly-haired boy's shirt. It turns out that he's a friend of one of Nick's friends. We struck up some conversation, exchanged numbers, and…" He stopped again, looking a little nervous and giving sympathetic glances at Kurt. "It just kind of went from there."
Kurt slowly nodded. "And you like him?"
Blaine shifted uncomfortably. "Kurt, please don't do this to yourself…"
"Do you like him?" Kurt was even a bit surprised at how forcefully the repeated question came out.
Blaine was quiet for a good ten seconds. It was as if he were truly considering his answer. Finally, he replied with a barely audible "Yes."
Kurt nodded, absolutely devastated. He had an important friend and ally in Blaine, but did he really have to go and fall in love with him to complicate matters? Kurt knew, however, that he couldn't help it. Blaine had irresistible charms and personality. Plus, as a bonus, he was very handsome. In Kurt's eyes, Blaine was the perfect man. But of course the perfect man had a boyfriend. Kurt felt like an idiot for not even considering this to be a possibility.
He rose from the iron-work bench, carrying his over-the-shoulder satchel. "Well, I guess I really should be going," he said softly as he stood up. The awkward silence continued. "See you, Blaine." He was about to leave when he felt a firm grip on his wrist.
"Kurt…"
He turned to face Blaine. There was something in his face that Kurt could not quite read. Was it desperation, or was it just deep sorrow? For a minute, it seemed like Blaine was fumbling with his conscience to say more than he originally intended.
Blaine just slowly nodded as he looked up into Kurt's sea-blue eyes, and managed a small "Thank you." Kurt returned with a sad smile as Blaine released his grip on his wrist.
Kurt remained stoic as he walked out of the botanical gardens. The minute he was outside the glass doors, he ran, sobbing, in the direction of his dormitory.
To be continued…
