He waited a day before reading the email. He needed to get his head somewhat together for that. Apparently, Balinor had been killed a couple of years after returning to his hometown. Executed, most probably with a gunshot to the head. Merlin reasoned that that was probably a quick death, with relatively little pain, and that was something to be grateful for. That was what he told himself, but he awoke more than once from a nightmare where some unknown entity behind his back held a gun to his head. He never screamed, never made a sound, never sat bolt upright in his bed like nightmare sufferers do in the movies, but the images in his mind were vivid, and he had to work hard to expel them.

It was difficult, but after about a week had passed, he was back on his feet. Going to work seemed impossible, so he handed in his resignation - something he had been planning to do for a good while anyway; the tedium was getting increasingly unbearable. All in all, he was glad to know what exactly had happened - it wasn't nice to know that his father was dead, and he would definitely have liked to skip the nightmares, but at least he knew. In some ways that was better than wondering. And it made him realise one thing - he actually had friends. Arthur seemed to set aside his anger and announced that he was there for him, Morgana insisted on making him tea everyday and asking whether he was all right, and Gwen was always available with a hug and a smile and some kind words of comfort. Gwaine and Lance, who hadn't known for as long, offered their respect and condolences.

"At least," Gwaine said, "You know he didn't want to leave you, you know? It'd be worse to find him and him wanting nothing to do with you."

Merlin wasn't entirely sure that was true, but Gwaine seemed to be speaking from his own experience, so he kept silent and appreciated the thought.

He was walking with Gwen on a typical, dreary monday about a week after the call, when she took his hand in both of hers and held it as if she would be able to gage his level of okay-ness from its weight.

"How are you?" she asked him when this failed to reveal anything, "I mean, really?"

He had to smile at her concern.

"I'm fine," he insisted, "As fine as can be expected. Seriously."

"I'm glad. Don't be afraid to tell me if you're not, though - you can tell me anything, you know that. I know what it's like to lose someone."

He squeezed her hand.

"I know you do. I appreciate it a lot, Gwen. I really am okay, though. If anything, I'm mostly worried about mum."

"How is she coping?"

"She sounds like she's holding up, and she's got friends to help her, too. But I'm looking forward to going home and be with her for a while - dealing with it together. There's only so much you can do over the phone."

"I see what you mean. Only two more weeks to go!"

"Yeah."

Gwen leaned her head on his shoulder as a gesture of solidarity. In thanks, he leaned his head on top of hers again.

"You're a good friend," he mumbled. Then he sighed.

"I don't want to talk about me and my family any more. Can we go back to teasing you about your love life yet?"

"Sure," she answered, "Go right ahead."

"Now that you've broken Arthur's heart, I suppose Lance is your boyfriend?"

"Well, we haven't necessarily worded it like that, yet, but I suppose…" She looked at him. "I didn't really break Arthur's heart, did I?"

Her tone was joking, but he could tell she was a slight bit worried. Gwen had the sweetest of natures and would never want to hurt anyone, least of all someone she cared about.

Merlin shrugged.

"I don't think so. He hasn't seemed particularly broken hearted. But then again, who could say? I'm not sure I'm in the know. He can be difficult to read; I suppose you know that better than anyone."

"Yeah."

Merlin and Morgana had the flat to themselves that evening - for once, she was not going out, and so they sat around watching a marathon of Marilyn Monroe movies broadcast on a random cable channel. Arthur was off at some dubious club with the rugby lads, celebrating the addition of a new player for the next semester - some guy who, according to Gwaine, looked exactly like a stripper in a gay nightclub. Merlin said he'd take his word for that.

Morgana decided to call it a night after The Misfits.

"You can't be serious!"

"Well, it was her last film, so why shouldn't it be my last for the night?"

"Because Some Like It Hot hasn't been on yet, and that is by far the funniest one."

She yawned.

"Be that as it may, I'm knackered. You have fun with Marilyn."

"Oh, I shall."

It wasn't a lie at all, Some Like It Hot was one of his favourite movies. But backing up the argument for staying awake for it was the fact that a trailer for some explosion heavy action flick had aired in one of the breaks, and the thought of guns lingered in Merlin's mind. He really didn't want another nightmare, so he figured he'd stay alert until the idea had been thoroughly expelled from his mind, replaced with funny images of mediocre drag queens and gorgeous ukulele goddesses.

Right at the beginning of the movie, a sound from reality distracted him, namely the sound of a key turning in the lock followed by the door creaking open. He turned to see Arthur stumble in, very unstable and worse for ware.

"You're back already? That must have been some efficient partying, it's barely past half one."

Arthur ignored this comment, leaving the door to slam shut behind him. Swaying a little, he made his way to the sofa, grabbing its back to straighten himself.

"What're you watching?" he asked. Merlin grinned at his adorably slurred voice.

"Some Like It Hot," he informed.

"Everybody likes it hot," Arthur proclaimed, indignantly. He made a daring attempt to climb over the back of the sofa to sit on it, and managed to succeed, although he did very nearly land on top of Merlin.

"That's why I'm so popular," he boasted.

Merlin laughed audibly.

"You are very rude!" Arthur reprimanded, shoving him.

"Pipe down, your poor dear sister is asleep next door."

Arthur nodded with understanding and put a finger to his lips conspiratorially.

"I shall be as quiet as the aaaair," he whispered loudly, the sound piercing the room harshly.

Merlin giggled and shook his head.

"Just shut up and watch the film, dollophead."

"Alright, since you beg so insistently, I will watch it with you. God knows I have better things to do."

He then remained quiet for a while, but Merlin could feel the weight of him on his side getting heavier, and soon enough, he was leaning on his shoulder, fast asleep.

Though having breath stinking of alcohol regularly blown onto his neck wasn't his favourite thing, Merlin couldn't deny that he appreciated the closeness. Especially since Arthur in his sleep hugged Merlin's arm close, and let their fingers intertwine. But when Arthur started snoring loudly, disrupting the dialogue between Sugar and Joe, he nudged him gently in the side, making sure his arm was relaxed so he would be blameless for the hand holding, should the topic come up.

It didn't, though - Arthur just sleepily announced, "This is stupid."

"How would you possibly know? You've been asleep for most the film."

"Exactly. It's boring."

"Are you insulting my taste in movies."

"No. Wait, yes. You're like… No. You're not like anyone. Anyone…"

Merlin wondered if Arthur could feel his breath hitching, close as they were, when he said the exact words he had used to describe Gwen. Bar the important part, obviously. Arthur leaned on his shoulder again and looked up at him. Merlin stared right back. Arthur looked drunk and contemplative. Then, suddenly, he grinned.

"What?" Merlin asked.

"I like your face. It's funny."

"Oh, wow. Thanks."

Arthur slid down until he was lying on the sofa, his head somewhere next to Merlin's knee, miraculously avoiding a fall to the floor. All the while, he giggled like an idiot. Merlin rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Go to bed, you clot."

"You're not the boss of me," Arthur sulkily insisted, but with an effort, he followed the advice.

Merlin shook his head again watching him go, and then turned his attention back tot he TV, where the last scene of the movie played out.

'I'm a man!'

'Well, nobody's perfect!'

He wondered idly whether he was more relieved or disappointed that Arthur wasn't around to catch those lines.