Chanel Number 3 made me walk around the campus with her for a reason I don't know why, but I went with her anyway. We stopped in front of a tree "Oh my god." I said making Boone turn around and look at us "I gotta call you back." Boone told the person on the other line then hanging up the phone. "Boone?" #3 asked "No, I'm Joaquin Phoenix." he told her trying to cover up with a beard "You're Boone. You were killed by the Red Devil, which means..." #3 explained "Fine, okay. You caught me. I'm..." Boone said before getting cut off "A ghost?" #3 asked. Boone raised his head and widened his eyes "Yeah. Yeah, I'm-I'm the ghost of dead Bo-o-one!" he walked closer to us "And you've come back to get revenge on me for saying you couldn't be a pledge Kappa. I'm so sorry about that. Please don't kill us. I'm sort of gay now too. Please." #3 whimpered covering her head when Boone stopped in front of us. He winked at me before quickly going around us, #3 lifted her head looking around for him "Boo." he whispered by her ear making her scream and run off the opposite direction pulling me with her. "Listen up hog-faced sluts. Just because tonight's our last night in Kappa House before we're forced to evacuate campus, doesn't mean you get to mope around acting all sad!" Chanel said while looking down at the Chanels and I as we stood in our closet. "Why would we be sad? This is a house of death. Six people have been murdered here in a month. Now we finally get to leave." #5 whined, "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her raising my hand "Well Einstein, Thanksgiving is next Thursday and if any of you stupid whores ever cracked a book every now and again, you'd know I'm dressed as Sacagawea. She helped the pilgrims with their first harvest on what is now known as the first Thanksgiving." Chanel explained to us. "No she didn't. You're thinking of Squanto." Hester corrected. "Um no, Squanto was friends with the Lone Ranger." Chanel replied making me roll my eyes "Sacagawea guided the Lewis and Clark expedition." I told her "What? No way. Sacagawea taught the pilgrims how to make cranberry sauce and then, like, sang "Blue Corn Moon" or something." she replied. #5 put her hands over her face "That was Pocahontas." Hester corrected once more "Damn it! Are you serious? I'm trying to impress Mr. and Mrs. Radwell, and I just spent two hours dressing up as the hag who didn't realize she was the third wheel on Lewis and Clark's gay camping extravaganza?" Chanel asked us in exasperation "Wait what? You're meeting Chad's parents?" #3 asked. "Oh, did I bury the lead? I must have forgotten to tell you ladies about Chad's proposal." Chanel informed us "What?" Hester asked in a jealous rage "Proposal?" #5 asked smiling along with #3 and I "That's right. Chad and I were enjoying a very romantic compliment night." Chanel told us the real story and how they weren't actually engaged but she was gonna meet his parents. "So let's all raise a glass to me. The Radwell's are the perfect American family. And Chad want's me to become a part of it. So I actually care that tonight's the last night of Kappa Kappa Tau, because I have successfully used this sorority for it's proper god-given purpose." Chanel explained as #5 gave her a glass of champagne "To be apart of a sisterhood and make lifelong friends." Hester announced "Ew, no, for making me popular enough to get a hot, rich husband. Guys, both our families are loaded. I'm about to be like, super rich." Chanel told her. "Not if the ghost murders you first." #5 says "Or follows you home and murders you here." #3 adds on "Or if you get murdered tonight because it's the last night of Kappa Kappa Tau and it seems highly likely the killer will come after us." Hester finishes "Like I said, a toast... to Chanel. Kappa!" Chanel said raising her glass "Kappa." we all replied. Before I left Chanel pulled my arm so I turned to her "Also Chad showed a picture of you to his brother, Thad, and he likes you now and he sent this for you so you're coming wiht us to meet his parents in the Hampton's." she told me handing me the silver wishbone. I shrugged in reply "Okay." then I left.

I went up stairs only to bump into Zayday "Excuse me hood rat. I have to pack early for Thanksgiving, and I know you don't have a lot to pack but I do." I say walking past her "What's your problem?" she asks me, I stop and turn to look at her "Oh, I don't have a problem. But let me just tell you one thing, you already took my super hot boyfriend and I refuse to let it go. So let's just get something straight, stay out of my or I won't hesitate to kill you. Got it?" I say backing her into the wall. She nodded in reply clearly too scared to talk, I smirk "Good." then I turn around and go into my room. When I got into my room I see Boone sitting on my bed "What are you doing here?" I ask closing the door quickly, "I just wanted to see my best friend before I surprise Chad and Zayday." he replies getting up from the bed and walking over to me. I bent down to get a makeup bag from my vanity and when I turned around I found him standing directly in front of me, "Why are you so close to me?" I ask nervously as I back up causing some of my makeup too fall off. He puts his hands on my waist before talking again "Working with you made me realize that I like you way more than I thought." I looked at his hands that pulled me closer as if that were possible "I thought you liked Zayday?" I asked confused, he shrugged "Not anymore. I can't love someone who hurts my friend." then he kisses me, I kiss back as he lifts me up on the vanity. "As much as I would love to continue I have too help Chanel bubble wrap her clothes. Don't ask me why, our "Housemother" requested that we did it." I tell him causing him to groan but let me go reluctantly "Fine. But I'll be back later." he told me heading towards my window then jumping out. I went back down stairs and helped put Chanel's clothes in bubble wrap, "I don't understand why you're making us bubble wrap each item of clothing." Chanel told Denise turning around from one of the racks of clothes "Are you kidding me? How much did this dress cost?" Denise asked motioning to a sparkly dress. Chanel glanced at it "$63,000." she replied simply "Uh, yeah, okay. When something cost $63,000, you wrap it in bubble wrap. Besides, bubble wrap is fun." Denise replied squeezing Chanel's arms "I think because I'm not allowed to carry a firearm, I like to pop the little bubbles and then pretend like my finger is a gun." she told us pooping the bubbles and making a finger gun to demonstrate. All of the sudden #3 screams making us look at her "Okay, sorry, I can't keep this a secret any longer. I am personally being haunted by a ghost." she tells us "What?" Chanel asked "You heard me. Late last night Number Six and I were walking around campus, and we saw the ghost of dead gay Boone. The ghost of dead gay Boone is walking the Earth. We had, like, a full conversation." she explained. This made #5 scoff "That is so stupid. Because ghost don't exist." she said writing something down on a notepad "Oh really? Then why won't my hands stop shaking?" #3 yelled back showing us her hands "Because you're hungover." Chanel responded "Of course I'm hungover. You know why I had to get hammered last night? Because I saw the ghost of dead gay Boone!" #3 tells us. "Wait, you-you-you seriously saw a ghost?" Denise asked "Yes. It was... terrifying." #3 responds "Ohh, that is creepy. Being haunted by a ghost who's stalking the campus on your last night at Kappa House, the night all of you are most likely to be murdered. Put the bubble wrap down. Let's gather round the fireplace. Come on children." Denise motions us towards the fire place.

"Momma Denise is about to scare the living bejeezus out of you with some real scary ghost stories." she tells us once we sit down "Wait what?" I say "No please." #3 says shaking her head "We're already terrified." #5 adds "Exactly. See when I get scared, and I feel like, like, ISIS done broke in my house, I tell myself real scary ghost stories. And then my fear of the ISIS is replaced and I'm scared of the Candyman, who returns from the dead when you say his name five times. Candyman, Candyman..." Denise explains already scaring everyone but Hester who was quietly saying Candyman over and over. "Or the hitching old lady with the hairy arms just like hers," she points to Chanel "who disappears when you stop for gas. But there's a butcher knife in her purse, except you didn't see it the first time, 'cause when you checked wasn't nothing in there but knitting materials. And then there's a Japanese ghost story called "The Kappa."." she continues "There is not! Come on!" Chanel yelled while #3 was freaking out "Oh yes there is. Look it up. Them Japanese got all manner of weird-ass ghost stories. And the one about the Kappa is the creepiest of all. They live in the sewer. And they just waiting for you to sit your ass on the toilet, so they can reach up and grab your ass, snatch you by the vagina and-and drown your crushed body in raw sewage. The... end." once she finished we were all shaking. "I, for one, loved that." Hester told her clutching a pillow, I looked at her like she was crazy "See? I know ya'll feel better now! Now you're scared of the Kappa. You're not even thinking about the serial killer on campus or the ghost that's stalking you." Denise tells us "Yes we are!" #3 told her in a shaking voice "That story just made it worse!" Chanel added on. "Okay, okay, okay. I hear you. Momma Denise knows you're still scared. So you might just need another ghost story. " she says to us "No!" Chanel and I cry "This Japanese ghost story is called "The Red Cloak.". And it's about a ghost who lurks in women's bathrooms." Denise continues "What? Why another story about a bathroom?" #5 cries out "I'm just telling the story. The Red Cloak waits until you run out of toilet paper. And then he makes you choose the red roll or the blue roll. If you pick the red roll, he'll slit your throat! And the blood will run up and look like you're wearing a red cloak. But if you pick the blue roll, he will strangle you until you turn blue. And it'll look like you're wearing a blue cloak. The... End. I know ya'll feel better now." she finished her second story. "No, we don't." #3 told her "No more ghost stories!" Chanel yelled after "Or at least stop setting them in bathrooms!" #5 whined "I really have to pee. But there is no way I'm going anywhere near a toilet. So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go look for a salad bowl to squat over under the stairwell." Chanel said getting up then fastly walking to the kitchen along with #3 and 5 but Hester stayed and I ran upstairs.

Later the Chanels and I were in Chanel's room when Denise ran in "The killer just attacked me in the bathroom!" we all turned to look at her "We have to get out of here!" #5 yelled "We ain't goin' no where. Not until I hear another ghost story. If I don't hear another ghost story right now, I might just have a stroke!" Denies told us closing the doors that lead into the hallway. "But if we stay in here then the killer could come in and chop off your head!" #5 yelled trying to reason with her "Well... that's just a chance I'm willing to take. Nope we ain't goin' no where. Besides, Denise Hemphill is not gonna make it down that crazy, overly dramatic staircase without having a damn heart attack!" she tells us pulling handcuffs from between her legs then locking the door. "Will someone please just tell a scary story so we can get out of here?" Chanel begged looking around the room "Okay, fine. I have one. Let's all sit by the fire place." Hester said, we all sat at the fire place and Hester started talking again "It happened in the 1950s. A sorority sister was returning to campus after getting her license for the first time. She was supposed to leave at lunchtime, but she got delayed at a weenie roast or sock hop, when suddenly, she found herself on the road in the middle of the night." Hester began. She then told us the story of a killer who hid in the back of the girls car "I don't understand. If he escaped a mental institution in the middle of the night, then where did he get a meat hook from?" #5 asked " 'Cause he's the Meat Hook killer. The story would suck if there wasn't a meat hook in it." Hester replied "Let me just say that that scares me but good. I feel my blood pressure coming down, and I'm not gassy no more. We can all leave now." Denise said getting up from the chair. "The killer could still be out there!" Chanel exclaimed "Well, he's probably gone by now. Exactly like we should all be. I mean if we've learned anything from all of this, it's that he's crazier than us and smarter than us. And even though we seem unwilling to do whatever it takes to survive, he's not gonna stop until all of us are dead. He is the predator and we... are the prey. The only way to stop the killings... cut off his food supply." #5 explained, "Wait... When did he start eating us?" #3 asked confused "Yeah."Denise added "Well you know, you guys are more than welcome to stay here and be the next on his list, but I'm leaving campus immediately. Not that it matters. I wouldn't put it past him to hunt all of us down one by one." #5 said then leaving the closet closing the doors behind her. Chanel looked at us "Let's wait and hear if she makes it downstairs to make sure the killer isn't still here." she told us, we left a couple minutes later and went down stairs to the living room. We were talking when Zayday and Grace ran down stairs "What's going on? It looks like you saw a ghost." Chanel asked them "We did." Zayday replied "No we didn't." Grace argued "Boone was upstairs." Zayday said "What?" Chanel asked confused "Yes, except he's not dead!" Grace told us. "What that makes no sense. How can Boone be a ghost if he's not dead?" #3 asked angrily "Because he's not a ghost." Grace tells her, then #5 walks in with suitcases "This is insane! If we stay in this house we are all going to die! I mean why are we even still here?! I am not staying in this house for a moment longer. I am leaving right now and I am going home." then she walks out the house. "Number Five don't go... actually I'm totally fine with her leaving." I tell them making #3 shrug "As you were ladies." Denise says and we all go back to talking.

Later we found out that the Red Devil killed Earl but Zayday was the most upset, "I can't believe it. Earl Grey is dead. It had to be Boone who killed him." Zayday said sadly to Grace while I rolled my eyes. "You know what I can't believe?! I can't believe that no one is comforting me after I was almost murdered by the Red Devil, who was in the back seat of my car and then barely escaped as some some poor old truck driver was hacked to death with a machete! And then, you know, I thought I'd at least get some props for coming back with such an amazing scary story." #5 complained "Actually Number Five, that story is neither scary nor amazing. That story is an exact facsimile of the Hook Hand story Hester told about an hour ago. Honestly if you're gonna get attacked please attempt to get attacked in a fresh, exciting way." Chanel told her. "We have to concentrate, the pieces of this puzzle are coming together. Yes, we know now that Boone is the Red Devil." Grace told us trying to get on topic "There's more than one Red Devil moron." I tell her "Well now we know Boone is one of them. Which means he's probably the baby in the bathtub." Grace explained while #3 paced around "We should call the police. They've gotta find him." Zayday spoke up again "Already did. The police put out an all point bulletin and Denise is aiding the manhunt." Grace told her "The police aren't going to help us. You can't stop a ghost. Oh, my god, I'm so freaked out. Will someone please tell a ghost story?" #3 asks closing her eyes. "I have a ghost story. It's a good one." we all look to see Hester in her neck brace "It's about a girl who never fit in. As much as she tried to be popular the mean girls were always trying to tear her down. They could never see past her neck brace. She soon realized the only way to get back at these girls would be to screw Chanel's boyfriend Chad Radwell, and wreak ultimate vengeance." we all stared at her with widened eyes "What?" Chanel asked angrily "That's right Chanel, her name is me. And guess what bitch, I'm pregnant!" Hester told her "This is insane." Chanel said standing in front of her "Looks like I'll be going to the Hampton's for Thanksgiving with the Radwells." she told Chanel "Guess who's top bitch on campus now Chanel?" Hester said quietly.

Chanel #3, 5 and I stood waiting for Chanel in her closet "Chanel #3, #5, and #6? I owe you all the most heartfelt of apologies. Remember when I said that the only thing a sorority's ever been good for is scoring a hot, rich husband? Well I have never been so wrong. Kappa House is and always has been, first and foremost, a sisterhood and I have never needed my sisters more than I need them now." Chanel told us as she stopped in front of us. "Yeah, okay, apology accepted." #3 said "Hold on. I am not going to accept any old apology Chanel. I mean you treat me like garbage every single day. Am I just supposed to ignore the obvious fact that you hate me and love nothing more than playing super humiliating pranks on me?" #5 asked "Why do you always have to make everything about you?" Chanel asked. "Like remember that one time when you hacked into my mom's e-mail and wrote me this really long letter explaining how I was adopted and born with fetal alcohol syndrome and therefore, had an IQ in the low 60s?" #5 explained "I'm sorry, but that was hilarious. I stand by that prank." Chanel told her "Look Number Five, sisters don't always get along ,but that doesn't mean their not sisters." #3 tells her "See? Exactly. Thank you number Three. Okay now that we're a sisterhood again, we have to figure out a way to get rid of Chanel #7." Chanel asks "When you say get rid of her, do you mean like force her to leave or kill her?" #5 asks "Honestly Number 5 do you think I'm insane? The bitch seduced my boyfriend into getting her pregnant. Of course I mean kill her." Chanel replies. "Chanel as much as I love the idea of killing Hester, you can't just run around murdering people. Okay? That just means you're the killer." I tell her "It makes her a killer not the killer." #3 corrects "What? Okay, I just-I just don't understand what killing Number Seven is going to solve." #5 tell Chanel "Um, hello? Everything? Number Seven will be dead, I'll get my invite to Thanksgiving at the Radwell Compound in the Hampton's, and I'll be back on track to getting the only thing a sorority's ever been good for. Scoring a hot husband with an enormous family fortune." she finished making #5 get a confused look "Wait you just said that you don't care about any of those things and the only thing that really mattered was just Chad." she asks "Yeah. That was when I thought I had taken our life long friendship for granted and lost it forever. But now that I see we're stronger than ever, i.e. planning a murder together, I can concentrate on the things I care way, way, way more about than sisterhood, e.g. hot husband, extreme wealth, et cetera, et cetera. Try to keep up. The logic's not that complicated. Now come on, murder, ideas, go." Chanel demanded. Later we got the idea to get non-baby safe foods for Hester to eat, "I have to say Chanel, I am delighted and shocked that you're letting me keep whatever clothes I want, it's really big of you considering the whole "I'm pregnant with your boyfriend's baby" thing." Hester said while she was picking out clothes "Well, honestly, the more I thought about it, I just realized that I love Chad so much, and part of loving someone is loving every choice they make, regardless of how selfish and destructive it is, you know?" Chanel explained to her "Thank you Mommy. Oh and if you wanna start calling me Mommy, now being the one that's gonna actually gonna be the mommy, I'm totally fine with that." Hester told us smiling. "Number Seven, before you try on that kimono, why haven't you had any of this sushi? I mean we got it just for you." I ask her gesturing to the food that sat on the table "Mm, don't mind if I do." Hester picks up chop sticks and then a piece of sushi "Mm, that's so good." she tells us "Oh and do yourself a favor, have a little slice of that soft, unpasteurized cheese. It makes any sushi that much more delicious." #3 says, Hester eats the cheese "Mm, you're right." she says through a mouthful of cheese and cracker "Oh and Hester, you have got to try this champagne. It's a special champagne with triple the alcohol and a... nicotine-y mouth feel, because it's infused with tobacco." Chanel tells her picking up a glass, Hester went around the counter to Chanel taking the glass out of her hand then drinking it. "Mmm. De-lish!" she say after swallowing the drink "Liar!" Chanel says knocking the glass out of her hand "What the hell is going on?" Hester asks scared as the other Chanels and I go around the counter "You're trapped in a web of lies whore. You just had sushi, soft cheese, and alcohol, three foods that are damaging to embryos. Which means you're not pregnant!" Chanel yells "That's not true! I didn't know anything about the whole... sushi-cheese-alcohol thing!" Hester defends her self while gesturing to the food "Fine! Prove it. You're not leaving this room until you've peed on every single one of these pregnancy tests." the Chanels and I pull out multiple test, Hester starts chuckling "Hmm... I had all four of you fooled, didn't I! Fine you got me. I'm not pregnant. But it doesn't matter, because Chad still thinks that I am, and being that he already purchased our first-class airfare to the Hampton's, that means that I'll be the one attending Thanksgiving where I'll have ample opportunity to get pregnant all weekend long!" Hester yells quickly leaving the closet. "I'll kill you neck brace!" Chanel yells then running after her we follow along "Hester I'm sorry." Chanel says in a sympathetic voice "What did you say?" Hester asks turning around half way down the stairs "Hester, I am so sorry. I'm sorry that you've had to got through life feeling like an outcast, and... I'm sorry that I got angry that Chad's clearly chosen you over me. It's just that ever since you walked through those doors... I knew you were gonna be the one to take it all away from me." Chanel says as Hester climbs back up to the top of the stairs "Really?" Hester asks. "No." Chanel says then pushing Hester down the flight of stairs, at the last step we hear her bone crack "Oh my god." #3 says with a shaky voice "You killed her! Chanel #7 is dead!" #5 yells. Chanel and I just look down at the body "I realize that my killing Neck Brace might just seem like a bridge too far, but trust me when I say this had to happen. And I'm confident that I'll be able to redeem myself morally in everyone's eyes." Chanel sighs before continuing "And furthermore, what I just did will become a new ghost story. A cautionary tale about what happens to hag-faced bitches who try to steal hotter Kappas' boyfriends. And that story will be told around the campfire by Kappa pledges for centuries to come." she laughs at the end then inhales "Okay... let's get her in that meat locker."