- Roused
- Chapter 008
~ Like a Grape
Mom and more strangers come to my room. I am sitting on my bed so I don't have to see the lie of my face in the mirror. The nightmare had been so terrible. My back still ached.
Mom asks if I am okay.
Not really, my back hurts. Mom sits next to me and rubs my back, it feels good, but I don't get a chance to tell her about the nightmare. It had been so scary.
Mom says that the kingdom is fighting the goons. Mom needs to help father, and these strangers will help me, and Mom leaves.
The strangers bring in many things baskets, and boxes and a big lying mirror.
Then they said I had to take off my clothes. They were taking my clothes again, too!
Please, no.
They need to, that was their job.
Was there nothing left for me? There was no safe place anymore.
I need Phillip.
Phillip was true, he helped me, he kept the Pain away, and he could keep me safe. I couldn't do it all by myself any more, I need his love, to be happy and safe with him.
Phillip is leading the war.
I try to hold off the Pain.
To calm my thumping heart.
I have no happiness left in me.
I have no faith left.
No hope left.
I was empty.
There was nothing left inside of me.
I-I can no longer hold off the Pain.
The Pain enters me, and my head sags, which looks like a nod. My shoulders hunch as the terrible weight of my betrayal crushes me. My heart crumples under the terrible pressure of the Pain.
It's like I slip into cold darkness, though bright, warm afternoon sunlight shines on me, I wanted to hold on to the light, but it is all so slippery, like a fish.
They stand me up. They took off that precious, hated dress. My arms stood away from my body, I wanted to cover myself, so much.
I was so deep in the Pain I thought I couldn't feel anything anymore, and then they put different clothes on me, those clothes that didn't fit. They poked me and hurt me, but I don't matter.
Some of the dresses almost felt like a hug, but then they make it so tight I could hardly breathe. It's just Pain. Hopefully, it's one of those killing clothes that I might die and be free of the Pain. Grey and black splotches were all I could see, my knees weaken, am I dying? I hope. I yearn. Then they changed the dress to a different one. Oh, well.
The Pain was inside me. It had taken me to my core. There was no place inside me without Pain.
Everything was Pain,
everything would be Pain,
and Pain was everything.
But the poking hurt less than the buzzing. They talked and talked and talked. I had no idea what they were saying, I understood so few of their words, but I knew it was about me, but what did it mean, why did it hurt? I stood there, with my arms staying away from me, wishing so hard Phillip would come and save me. He saved me once; he could do it again, couldn't he? Why couldn't he be here?
I am weak.
I am empty.
I didn't matter.
Better to do nothing, say nothing.
Life hurts so much. Why didn't Maleficent kill me when she could?
I hate my life.
The stranger called Mom returns as the buzzing strangers are lacing me into a green dress that reminds me of trees and grass and Aunt Fauna, the terrible fairy. It fits really well now, not tight enough to kill me though. Pity.
"Aren't you the most beautiful girl in the world?" asked the stranger called Mom standing next to me looking into the lying mirror.
The mirror is a lie.
The room finally goes still.
The stranger called Mom, puts her arms around me, though she does not kill me, then she leaves. Some of the other buzzing strangers leave too.
I was sat in my chair and saw myself in the lying mirror and the crown that I couldn't take off. It hurt to see it, to feel it on my head, to know that it was there, it reminded me of my betrayal and everything I had lost. I am weak.
I wanted to take it off and throw it across the room or over the balcony rail. I walk to the balcony, but I can't get near it. No escape. Maleficent said not to.
I want to cry, but I had no tears. I want to scream, but I had no voice. I am weak. There was just Pain.
Then another strange woman in black and white clothes with blonde hair came and said I was needed and I went, at least it was away from the Scary Place. I was lead to the place where the strangers that they called my parents were. They are the king and queen; hopefully they would kill me soon.
Phillip's father was there too. He is a king too, he might kill me, it looks like he likes to eat princesses. They talked, they asked questions and I didn't answer. Why bother. They were just going to kill me and eat me anyway. I wished they would just do it already.
The stranger I had to call mom looked sad, I wanted her to not look sad, but I had no idea how. I am weak. The Pain was everything.
The strangers called my parents said they loved me, but love is pain and I hurt so much. I didn't want more pain. I am weak.
They read words to me, but there is no Phillip.
- End of Chapter 008
Author's Note: I am committed to the Princess Aurora's happily ever after!
The italics represent her new depressed monotone voice.
