Miss You
Author: Pokari, R for mpreg.
Disclaimer: you know it's not mine
Summary: Harry was married to Draco and they had a son.
Pairings: Harry/Draco, Sirius/Severus
Time: Post-Hogwarts
Warnings: a little angst, slightly AU.
Chapter Four
Sirius looked at the robes Severus brought him. he had waken up, feeling wonderful only to have his lover left him to Remus' place and came back with three different robes.
"I hope Remus didn't hex you." Sirius smiled.
"Like he can do it. I asked him to show me your room and he insisted that he wanted to help." Severus nonchalantly sat on his bed, one hand holding the Daily Prophet.
Sirius looked closely at his robes, those ones that actually fitted him. 'Glad that Remus picked them for me.'
Hesitantly, Sirius walked to the Slytherin. He bent down to kiss him only to have strong hand stopped him inch before he touch the thin lips. A pair of cold dark eyes prying into his.
"What do you think you're doing?" A little frown submerged.
"I just want to thank you."
Severus tilted his head. "There are other ways to thank me."
Sirius felt as if he were slapped. He should have learnt his lesson. Severus never kissed him, and he never wanted Sirius' mouth near his face. Well, unless it was for a show.
Blushing, Sirius bent down. His hands worked automatically to unbutton the pants. But again he was stopped. He didn't understand. He looked up and felt cold whenever those eyes disparaged on him.
'Perfect bitch.' Severus sneered. 'Too bad I'm already spent. Not that it's a great loss.'
"Severus?"
"Unless you want your godson wonder why you can't walk."
Sirius hated it when he blushed so hard even he could fell his face hot.
"I go change." Sirius said quietly.
Severus watched him stood up and walked limply, dragging his oversized bathrobe behind, reached for the fresh robes he brought him, and went into the bathroom and quietly closed the door.
'Well, it's not like he can walk properly now.' Severus frowned when he was denied the sight of his lover's naked body.
It was a rather wild night and Severus woke up wanting his werewolf lover. He decided to just go there and surprised him. Since Sirius was still sleeping on his bed he was sure wouldn't be a bother. And he indeed surprised him, so surprised that Remus didn't show any resistant.
Severus smiled. He rather enjoyed the hard, hot sex better. Though his mood altered a little when Remus asked about Sirius. He just accepted when Remus took him to Sirius' room and gave him the robes.
"I wish you to stop it." Remus stared at Sirius' robes critically.
"What?" Severus looked around uninterested. He made sure he gave Sirius monthly money, he didn't care how the mutt spent the money but he could see it's not for his room. Too plain.
"Buying him oversize clothes." Remus glared at him. He knew it was just his wicked plan because if he gave him directly, Remus would make sure to throw it back to his face, after shredding it to pieces.
"He doesn't complain." Severus answered nonchalantly and threw himself to the queen size bed. "Do you do it often?"
"What?"
"Break in and choose him his clothes?"
Remus snorted. "I never get that privilege." He folded the robes carefully and handed it to his so-called lover. His eyes promised pain if he ever hurt Sirius.
Severus frowned. Remus was too protective over his concubine. 'Does he really think he could take my place?' Severus sneered. 'It would take a lot of money.'
Sirius walked back to the room, feeling a whole to better after taking a bath.
"Severus?"
"Yes."
"You mentioned the dinner last night. Will you… will you take me to see Harry?"
"As a matter of fact, yes."
Sirius smiled happily as he launched himself onto Severus' lap. He was about to kiss the man when he caught himself. He didn't want Severus to push him away so he settled his head on Severus' shoulder and whispered a thank you.
Severus frowned. He thought he saw Sirius' head lifted and his lips opened slightly before he bent down and leant on him. He didn't mind. It's not that Sirius weight a lot, and even though he wasn't a cuddling type, it was actually nice to just hold him.
He didn't actually like kissing. It was just too personal and just the attachment he didn't need. Although he sometimes allowed Sirius to kiss him and he himself kissed Remus, it was just his strategy to make Remus felt emotionally bond to him.
Severus held Sirius' lithe body tightly. It was so different from Remus and just lately he had to close his eyes when they had sex. Not to imagine his other lover. No. Even he wasn't that low. Neither that desperate.
He could always stand the man when he was naked, spread eagle and ready to get fucked. It just… somehow Sirius had been more fragile. He didn't understand how he got that impression now; he just scared that he would break him.
Severus was startled when Sirius suddenly got up. He watched Sirius walked to the mirror and desperately looking for a comb.
"When will we meet him?"
Severus sighed. He forgot the boy that had been the reason Sirius stayed with him. Oh, and the vault at Gringotts.
"We'll leave after lunch. I'll take you to buy present for his son."
"Thank you." Sirius grinned. "Do you think I should still wear this one or should I try that one?"
Severus wanted to laugh at the uncertainty in Sirius' eyes. 'Does he really need to dress up just to see his godson?'
"Up to you, but you can to put on those two and I'll tell you what I think."
"Yes." Sirius eagerly unbuttoned his robe and finally gave Severus the sight of his pale body.
Ö
"Is this Malfoy Manor?" Sirius nervously held the present tightly.
"No, it's Draco's house. He's not living with his parents after his marriage." Severus stood in front of the statue of a maiden that guard the gate. "Severus Snape."
The gate was opened and allowed them in.
"Come on, Black."
"Yes." Sirius hurriedly followed Severus' steps. "Do you think Harry knew that we're coming?"
Severus only shrugged his shoulder. It was really not his business. Draco came to him three days ago and asked him to bring Sirius Black, because he wanted to make Harry happy.
Severus had came to Draco's place more time than he bother to remember, he just walked to the living room, knowing full well that Draco had been informed of his arrival and would soon join him there.
When the reached the room, they met a little boy running around giving the young woman, obviously his sitter, trouble chasing him. Severus decided to take a seat and watched with amusement but someone decided to end his fun.
Sirius let go his package to catch the boy in his arms. He lifted the boy and studied his face carefully.
"Severus, he's a Malfoy." Sirius turned the boy to Severus.
"Obviously." Severus smirked, he noticed how Larry struggled free, so maybe he still had his fun anyway.
"Let me go." Larry kicked his leg. He wasn't scare, he knew uncle Severus wouldn't let anything happen to him, but it was so fun.
"Please give him to me." Melanie Pinxter, obviously didn't trust any of them, was seriously ready to hex Sirius.
Larry looked up at Severus and smiled. "Mummyyyy." His little feet were dangling happily. "Mummmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."
"Er, Severus?" Sirius looked unsure whether to put the boy down or give it to the woman. "What should I do?"
"Larry?" Harry hurriedly went to his son. He was enjoying his rest while Larry was having his little study time. He stopped his track when he met the equally shock Sirius.
"Harry?" Sirius smiled.
"Sirius?" Harry had this unbelievable look in his eyes.
"Yes, it's me." Sirius grinned. "You… you've changed." Somehow he looked less like Jamie, it made him a little disappointed, he had hope to see a little glimpse of his best friend.
"Mummy?" Larry waved his hands.
Harry walked to Sirius and carried his son. He looked to his son' governess and dismissed her.
"I miss you, Harry." Sirius smiled, though he had tears on his eyes.
"Mummy?" Somehow it had been Larry's habit to remind his mother that when someone missed him, he had to kiss that someone.
Harry chuckled before he went to his godfather and kissed his cheek. "Do you miss Larry too?"
"Erm, yes." Sirius nodded obediently.
Harry lifted his son so that he could kiss Sirius.
"I don't miss you, Mrs. Malfoy." Severus smirked. He knew Larry's favourite game.
"I'm sure hope you don't, Severus." Draco drawled as he walked to his family.
Harry smiled at Sirius' confuse face. "It's Larry's rule. If someone misses you, then that someone deserves a kiss from you."
"Well, Severus bought something for Larry." Sirius looked around, looking for the package he dropped when he caught Larry.
"You mean this." Draco lazily swayed the bright colour wrapped plastic.
"Yes." Sirius blushed a little, which always happened whenever a man was being nice to him. When the first time Severus touched him, he was so surprised to find himself being so submissive. He just accepted that it was just himself. Maybe that was why Jamie had been very protective of him.
"Thank you, Uncle Severus." Larry grinned.
Severus only nodded. He didn't like it when other men caused Sirius to blush. He could tolerate Remus, but Draco? Please, he knew Sirius didn't even like Lucius. Let alone Draco, who had taken Harry away from him.
"Well, you just have fun. I have something I want to discuss with Severus." Draco's eyes lingered on Harry, until Harry walked to him and whispered thank you before he let Draco claimed his mouth.
Sirius studied Harry closely. Surely Harry had changed; he had been more beautiful than the last time he saw him.
Harry returned Sirius' look and smiled a little. "It's nice to see you, Sirius, not that I'm complaining, but how could you come with Severus?"
"I'm… you know." Sirius looked uncomfortable, suddenly ashamed of himself to live of the money Severus gave him. "I sleep with him."
"Oh."
"And he gives me money." Sirius couldn't see Harry in the eye.
"Sirius…"
"But I didn't spend it, really, just use a little and sometime I spend it for Remus." Sirius hastily added. "You know I stay with Remus."
Harry took Sirius' hand. "It's okay, Sirius, I'm not judging you. It's not too different from my life, I think."
Their emotional conversation was stopped by Larry's happy squeal. He proudly showed his mummy the big, white stag.
"Ah, it's my father animagus form." Harry smiled.
"Animagus?" Larry dragged the stag with him.
"Yes, uncle Sirius here is an animagus too." Harry smiled warmly at his godfather.
"Show me, show me." Larry bounced happily.
"Er…" Sirius looked at the closed door. He knew Severus hadn't been very fond of his animagus form. He tried to never transform in front of him. But this was only for a while, Severus didn't have to see him. "Okay."
This time the transformation had been different. He felt something in his middle hurt. But he brushed it away. Thinking that it had been a long time since he last time did it.
Padfood laid his head on Larry' feet, and tickled him with his wet tongue. A minute later Sirius transformed back, again feeling the same hurt and a little numbness in his middle.
"Are you alright, Sirius?" Harry frowned worriedly, he saw the flinched in Sirius' face before and after the transformation.
"It's been a long time since the last time I did it." Sirius smiled, wanting to ease the worry.
"I think you should have it check." Harry had spent his free time studying mediwizardry upon Narcissa's request and knew that even small symptoms could mean much more.
"You know what, I thought when I met you again, the first thing I ask you would be 'Are you happy?', and here I have you worry about me."
"I'm serious." Harry glared.
"No, I am Sirius. You are Harry." Sirius grinned.
"Sirius." Harry glared at him. Sirius was his family, and he didn't want something happen to him no matter how stubborn he was.
"I know, and I will."
"Will you teach me how to change, Uncle Sirius?"
Sirius looked at Larry fondly. "What do you want to be?"
"I don't know." Larry tilted his head and thought very hard. "Maybe a dragon. Or a panther. I don't mind be a stag like grandfather."
"Well, we just have to wait until you are sure what you want to be." Sirius chuckled.
They spent most time playing with Larry, chatting about light topic and avoid talking about Draco and Severus.
Sirius had been happier than the last four years. He didn't want the day to end but he knew he had to leave after dinner. He helped Harry tucked Larry in. Admiring how it was so natural for Harry to be a mummy.
They walked in silent to the living room where Severus and Draco were having their drink, knowing it would be a long time before they could see each other again.
"I'm going to miss you, Harry." Sirius smiled sadly.
"I know." Harry nodded. "Promised me to see a mediwitch and then tell me what they say."
"Okay. I promise." Sirius answered resignedly.
Obviously they had took more time than what had been expected, judging from the sour look on Severus' face. He offered him an apologetic smile and walked to his side.
Draco smiled when Harry walked in. He took Harry to sit on his side and gave him a small box.
"Open it."
Harry obediently opened it, and took out a small necklace with a broomstick-shape jade. Harry lifted his eyebrows; it was a little too plain considering it came from Draco.
"It's a portkey, right to this room, activated only by the sender, with password of course."
Harry smiled brightly, maybe it wasn't the last time he met Sirius. "Thank you, Draco."
"Make sure he fire-call you before, that's how it works." Draco smiled smugly at the look of overjoyed on Harry's face.
Severus snorted. Granted that he didn't want Sirius to bother him too much but since Remus would leave to Hogwarts in less than two weeks, he thought he might welcome Sirius' staying with him.
Harry walked to Sirius. "Remember what Draco said, Siri, you have to let me know when you want to portkey here."
Sirius watched in awe as Harry helped him put on the necklace. He looked at Draco differently now, surely Draco wanted to make Harry happy, and everyone who wanted to make Harry happy was his friend.
"Thank you, Draco." Sirius smiled, the reddish on his cheeks made him look younger. "And I will come; I'll bring something for Larry. That's if I'm not too much of a bother." He added hastily.
Severus snorted, now he knew on what his little lover would spend his money.
"Of course not, Sirius," Draco smiled charmingly, "May I call you Sirius. You are Harry's godfather. That means we are family."
"Yes." Sirius blushed harder, but his smiled altered when he saw the look on Severus' face.
Severus stared coldly at Draco. Draco was the son of his best friend, and he loved him like his own son, but please, he didn't have to do it that far just to get into his little spouse' pants.
Severus said his goodbye curtly, roughly took Sirius' hands before he had chance to say goodbye and portkeyed to his house.
"Are you happy?" Severus sneered.
"Yes, thank you." Sirius smiled. "Today is the happiest day in my life."
"Of course, you just got your ticket to see your godson. Now tell me why you are still here, you don't need me anymore."
"What?" Sirius frowned. "But… Severus, I… I want to thank you." Sirius whispered his last words; his trembling hands were trying to unbutton his robe.
'Oh, yes. Such a perfect bitch.' Severus growled and carried Sirius on his shoulder. He hadn't had plan to give up on Remus just yet. He might ask Sirius to stay with him, and then he would come to visit Remus anytime he wanted.
Ö
Sirius hated to go out. He hated the way people were looking at him, gossiping about him. Knowing his innocent was not enough to hold his head high. He hated to see the pity in their eyes, though he had learnt to ignore them.
But what he hated most would be hospital. He hated it when people asking him to open his robe, and then poking on his body. He had been very conscious over his body. He had promised Harry so he would do it, fine, but he didn't have to like it.
Sirius kept his visiting St. Mungo a secret. He didn't want Remus to pamper him like he was in the edge of death. And he didn't want Severus to ban him from his house because he didn't want Sirius to contaminate him.
He had told the healer that he wasn't in a rush that he didn't expect for the result in a week. The thought of going back really didn't appeal him.
Sirius spent the day looking for a dragon and a black panther for Larry. True that Larry had Draco's face but he was Harry's son, and he was just so sweet, Sirius wanted to give him what he couldn't give Harry, not that Larry need it since Draco was practically richer than he could ever imagine.
He had called Harry last night, when Remus wasn't home that he would go to the check up tomorrow and would visit him the next day.
Sirius sighed, the school would start in ten days, and he still wasn't sure whether to come and stay with Remus at Hogwarts or looking for a place for himself. It wasn't like he didn't have the money. Deep down inside, he knew what he really wanted. He was still waiting for Severus to ask him to stay with him.
Sirius concentrated on looking for the presents, he really looking forward to see Harry again and spent some time with him.
Draco had been nice to him, he could see that Harry was very important to him, even love him so. Sirius wished he had known that Draco cared about Harry a lot, that way he wouldn't spend his last four years in deep depress.
Harry had told him to come every evening since Draco wouldn't be home until very late. Harry had complained that he was lonely, though Draco didn't forbid him to go out; he couldn't stand his bodyguards. Staying at home wasn't really a problem if only he had friends to entertain him.
Ö
Remus' breaths was hoarse, he could feel his heart pounded in his ear. It happened every time he had sex with Severus. He wondered if he would feel the same if he finally had Sirius.
'No, it wouldn't be the same.' Remus thought. 'Sirius is too sweet. He wouldn't have the heart to fuck me at all, and I would be too afraid to hurt him if I fuck him that hard.'
"What are you thinking?" Severus used his hand to support his head when he lied on his side to look at Remus.
"About sex." Remus growled. "I wonder how it feels to do it to Sirius."
Severus smirked. "Wonderful. He's always so tight."
Remus suddenly leapt on him. "Don't you dare hurt him."
Severus wasn't impressed. "What can I say, he likes it."
"Bastard." Remus laid back. He hadn't had the strength to argue with the Slytherin.
"My turn." Severus took the vial and lifted Remus' legs.
"We have done this for hours." Remus groaned but didn't refuse.
Since Sirius came to Harry's place, they had more time together. Severus had decided not to come back this year and it looked like Severus had accepted his decision to stop seeing him after the school start. He wanted to stop hurting Sirius though Sirius didn't know about them.
Remus didn't know if Sirius would come and stay with him at Hogwarts like he did in the past four years. But now that Severus had stop teaching, he wasn't sure whether Sirius would still come with him.
They had only two days left, and time was running out. Remus had agreed that Severus owned him for the last two days. Remus moaned when Severus sank his teeth on his uncovered shoulder. He was sure as hell gonna miss this. But very soon it finished again. And he felt nothing; it was just a physical need, just like animal instinct.
They laid in silence for a moment, Remus allowed Severus to hold him until he decided that he wanted to get dress and go home. He missed Sirius. But before he could move, the door was opened.
Ö
Sirius was preparing to go see Harry when the owl came. He reached the parchment with St. Mungo's emblem. He called Harry to tell him that he would be late that evening, purposely not telling him about his check up result.
Harry had bugged him about the result for the last three days, even acquired him his help to get the result sooner, which Sirius had refused. He told Harry that he was the only one that knew he had taken his health checked; he didn't want anyone to find out. Especially Severus.
He spent one hour just looking at the parchment, gathering the courage to open it. And when he finally did it, he couldn't believe his eyes. No way, he couldn't get pregnant. What if Severus didn't want the baby? What if Severus didn't want him?
Sirius spent another hour staring at the parchment. Finally, coming from his shock, he called Harry. He had told him about his fatigue, and now the result from St. Mungo. Harry looked happy for him and told him that he had to tell Severus.
So now he was choosing his best robe, combing his hair, and again read the parchment. He decided that he couldn't hide this from the Slytherin if he still planned on seeing him.
Keeping it carefully on his robe, Sirius reached for the portkey to Severus' house. He had to stand still a moment till the dizziness away.
Sirius ran to Severus' room. He was out of his breath when he arrived at the door. He stopped for a minute to catch his breath but that still didn't prepare him for the sight before him.
In the middle of Severus' big bed laying Remus in Severus' arm, both was relax after satisfying sex.
Sirius noticed that his coming had surprised both men, but Severus had his expression on guard.
"Sirius…" Remus' face was blanched as he was trying to hold the sheet, to cover his naked body. To hide his naked body.
"What?" Sirius was too shock to move. He wanted to run. To leave this hurtful moment. To wake up from his nightmare.
He noticed Remus put on his pants and tried to walk to him but Severus had his hand on him and didn't allow him to go very far.
"How long?" Sirius asked coldly, his eyes trained on his friend.
"Sirius… I…" Remus avoided his eyes.
"How long?" Sirius repeated, emphasized every word.
"Four months." Came the soft replied.
"Four months?" Sirius couldn't believe it. "That was when he started being nice to me."
"I'm sorry, Sirius." Remus fought to break free from Severus, but he couldn't move an inch.
Sirius could saw the love bites on his neck and shoulder. There might be more in other places he couldn't see. Even his lips were swollen, still bleeding slightly. It hurt him more then he could imagine. Severus never kissed him before. Not even a punishing kiss.
"All this time you were laughing behind my back, aren't you?" Sirius glared. He didn't know how things could get worse from now.
"Leave, Black." Severus said it expressionlessly. The cold black eyes silenced him. No guilt in it, like this was supposed to happen.
Sirius bit his bottom lips till he could taste the tang of the blood. His right hand clutched the parchment in his pocket tightly. He left the room without another word.
The tear that ran through Sirius' betrayed eyes had left them uneasy.
"Maybe I should leave." Remus' eyes never left the door.
"I thought we'd discuss this." Severus pulled the trembled body to him, not wanting to let him go. "You are mine till you left for Hogwarts."
Ö
'It's useless.' Sirius thought to himself. 'I should have known it. He never loves me. A piece of a parchment wouldn't change that. I'm so stupid to think that it might work.' He pulled his sleeve to dry his eyes.
Sirius apparated back to his house. 'No. Remus' house. I can't stay here.' He walked to the fireplace and called Harry.
"Sirius." Harry looked surprise but happy to see him again.
"Harry, do you think I can stay at your place tonight?" Sirius tried to smile.
"Are you alright?" 'Great, now I make Harry worry.' "Have you talked to Severus?"
Sirius shook his head. "I just need a place for tonight."
"Are you fighting with Remus?" Harry smiled amusedly.
'No. I just can't look at him and still feel the same.' Sirius couldn't hold his tear any longer.
"Sure you could come." Harry frowned. "Just use the portkey in ten minutes."
'Ten minutes. I only have ten minutes to leave my past.' He went to his room and collected his clothes. Threw them on his trunk. He couldn't stand walking around this place so he just summoned his things. Left any things Remus gave him and Severus bought for him out of pity.
Sirius left the key to his vault at the Gringotts. He tried not to spend too much money and since Severus gave him monthly money, he got a bigger vault now. Not that Severus noticed. He only needed to ask the goblin to take care of it.
Sirius went back to the living room and waited in anxious. He was almost having a nervous break down as he counting the minutes. As ten minutes almost passed, he felt someone's present behind his back. He turned around and met two pair of eyes.
He struggled to control his tremble. "I'll leave in a minute." He said emotionlessly.
"No, Sirius, please stay." Remus took wide steps to him only to have Sirius stepped back with every step he took. "We need to talk."
Sirius shook his head. "You two just stole our last chance." Sirius whispered before he portkeyed, leaving the bewildered men behind.
16 May 04, 7:17 pm
