Thanks for the reviews!—I own nothing.
"Brooke's great, but she's not you"
This definitely wasn't a new revelation for me. Peyton Sawyer has and always will be the girl for me. I tried to deny it by going out with other girls and telling my friends and mom that there was nothing between us, but I knew there was.
I told her that in our junior year. I meant it then. Peyton has intrigued me for years. Since before I even knew what it meant to like someone. I can remember being seven years old and watching her walk into the café. She was giggling and skipping. She ran up to the counter and politely ordered chocolate milk with two straws and a plate of cookies. After my mother handed her the order she walked back to her table and excitedly put everything in front of a woman. I would later learn that it was her mother, Anna. That was the only time I saw Peyton and her mother interact. A few months later she passed away. I love having the memory of Peyton with her mother because it was one of the only times, if not the only time, I saw Peyton truly happy. I know that I made her happy but, seeing her that day with her mother…I have yet to see her like that again.
When the shop got the call about a broken down car I decided to take the opportunity. I needed to be alone with all of these thoughts. Brooke and I had officially ended things. We both knew we were holding on to something that wasn't existent. It was okay to try and pretend in high school but now that we were older we knew it was useless. We both love other people.
Flashback
I was still reeling from my trip to Peyton's house when I walked into my old room. I stopped instantly when I saw Brooke sitting on the bed…she had been crying. This was going to be bad.
"Hey", I said quietly as I kneeled down beside her, "what's the matter", I asked. She looked up at me with big doe eyes and shook her head.
"We're not happy", she said hoarsely. I wanted to argue with her but I knew I couldn't. She was right, we weren't. Truth is, I don't even know the last time we had been happy.
"I know", I agreed. Her head shot up instantly.
"You do?" she asked. This was obviously something she expected to last all night.
"Yea", I said assuringly as I placed my hand on her knee.
"Okay, so what now", she asked as she took a deep breath. I sat there dumbfounded. I hadn't thought about what to do after this. I scratched my head and looked over at her.
"I guess…we umm…." Thankfully Brooke interrupted my stuttering.
"We go and be with the people we're supposed to be with", she said quietly. Our eyes locked and we both smiled. It felt weird that Brooke and I were having this conversation. If this was nine years ago, that conversation would have never taken place. And if it did it would have been a screaming match, not this calm exchange of words.
"Okay, well I've already made attempts to talk to Peyton. In fact right now the balls in her court", I watched as she raised her Brooke Davis brow, "when's the last time you talked to Chase", she turned bright red. I couldn't help but smile. Brooke Davis was embarrassed.
"I haven't actually talked to him since that day at the café. Actually, that can't even count as a conversation because he simply congratulated me and then walked away", she said sadly.
"Well, you want his number", I said as I reached for my cell phone. She looked at me and smiled.
End Flashback
A broken down car around the bend…right on River Road. I should have seen the flashing lights before I even stepped foot into my truck. Of course fate has a way of sneaking itself into every aspect of my life. I turned the corner and cursed myself. Peyton's classic Mercury was pulled over to the side of the road, she was standing in front of it, completely lost in her own thoughts. I smiled at her outfit. This was all too familiar. She was wearing a vintage tee and one of her mini skirts. I looked at myself before I got out of the truck; a red tee and jeans.
"We've got to stop meeting like this", I called out to her. She spun around and placed a hand over her heart. She really must have been deep in her thoughts. She took the moment to look at me. I knew what she was thinking…this was all too good to be true.
"Tell me about it", she said with a laugh. God I love her laugh. It lights up her entire face. It has been entirely too long since I've seen that. I watch as she gets quiet and tucks a loose curl behind her ear. I've seen Peyton in a million different outfits, with her hair done a million different ways but right now, I can't help but think that she's never looked more beautiful.
"So, what's wrong with it now", I smirked as I walked over to her pride and joy.
"I have no idea. It just started smoking", she said with a pout. I couldn't help but laugh. Without thinking I walked over to her and put a hand on her cheek. She sucked in a breath.
"Now, now, you can't pout when things don't go your way", we both laughed but I held my hand firmly in place. I unconsciously began to stroke my thumb over her delicate skin. She smiled and it felt like time stopped. I slowly leaned in and watched as she closed her eyes. Everything was falling into place. This was our moment.
Until fate stepped in.
Seeing him in that red t-shirt brought back a lot of different memories. I also couldn't help but notice how good he looked. Lucas has always been good looking but in his slightly dirty jeans and worn out shirt, he looked even better. Realizing that I was staring I quickly spoke.
"Tell me about it", it felt good to laugh like this with him. I have a certain laugh that only Lucas knows about. It's a laugh that I reserve especially for him. I never would have guessed that he was working with the body shop. He didn't even live in Tree Hill anymore.
"So, what's wrong with it now", he asked with a smirk. I didn't even bother to hide my smile. Throughout our relationship, friendly or otherwise, my car had had some problems. But, I couldn't get rid of it…it was my baby and I was too sentimental.
"I don't know" I said as I threw my hands up in the air, "it just started smoking", I added in a pout. Just to look cute. It must have worked because he turned around and walked towards me.
He put his hand on my cheek and I instantly drew in a breath.
"Now, now, you can't pout when things don't go your way", we both laughed and I waited for him to return to the task at hand; my car. When he started to stroke my cheek I knew this was it. Michael or no Michael, Lucas and I were going to get our moment.
I smiled as he lowered his face to mine. Closing my eyes in anticipation I got lost in the moment.
Fate had other plans.
"I should get that", I said dejectedly as I stepped away from him.
"Yea, sure", he mumbled as he put his hands in his pockets. I watched as he walked back over to my car and started to fumble with some type of car part.
"Hello", I sighed into the phone.
"Don't sound too thrilled to talk to me", Michael joked. I wasn't exactly in the mood for laughing but I forced one out. Lucas looked at me; it was obvious that he knew I was faking.
"Sorry", I halfheartedly apologized. My mind was suddenly reeling. Lucas and I had almost kissed. I was going to let it happen even though I have this amazing guy who loves me.
"So, what's going on", I asked as I walk further away from Lucas.
"Nothing really. I just miss you", I smile at the term of endearment. "I'm on my way back to your house, I need to pack and then I'm leaving. Am I gunna get to see you?" I can hear the hope in his voice. I would love to see him before he leaves. I know that if I see him today a) it will reinstate my feelings and b) I won't be hung up on Lucas. I look over at my car and know it won't be possible. Either of them.
"I don't think I can", I frown as I think of his expression, "my car broke down", before I can continue talking he interrupts me.
"Again…Peyton I told you years ago to get rid of that thing", I know he means well but hearing him talk about my car like that gets me really angry. Luckily Nathan's calling on the other line.
"I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow", he knows he hit a nerve with me. I hear him sigh.
"I love you", he says sincerely. My heart breaks a little because for once I can't say it back. I simply switch lines.
"Hey Nate", I greet as cheerily as possible.
"Okay we'll talk about what's wrong in a second. Firstly, why'd you call before", he asks with a sense of urgency. I silently thank the Lord.
"I need a ride home", until I remember that Michael will be there, "actually I need a ride to your house", I said meekly. Before he can answer I speak again, "my car broke down and I can't go home because Michael will be there…" he cuts my rambling off.
"What's going on with you and Michael?"
"Nothing I just, I don't know if…I can't be with him anymore", I finally blurt out.
"Peyton, does this have to do with a certain brother of mine", I can picture that stupid smirk on his face.
"Look I can't talk about it now. We will have a whole car ride to discuss whatever you want to discuss", this was my way of bribing him. I knew he would say yes because he always wanted to have the inside scoop before Haley did. That was something that was difficult to accomplish.
"Well, it's the radiator", Lucas interrupts our conversation. I can hear Nathan snicker.
"How about Lucas drives you to wherever you wanna go", he says mockingly. I roll my eyes at his maturity level.
"Nathan, please don't", before I can even finish I hear a dial tone. He freakin hung up on me. I grunt angrily as I slam my phone shut.
"Lemme guess, he isn't coming", Lucas asks with a smile.
I shake my head. "He hung up on me", we both laughed.
"You want a ride home?" he asks as he nods to the familiar truck. I weigh my options…go with Lucas and possibly make out OR wait here till Nathan decides to come and get me.
He throws an arm around me and I realize I have no choice.
The ride home was never once silent. This was the most we've talked in years. I loved it. I missed him a lot more then I realized. We were talking about high school when we got to the summer going into senior year.
"Dude, I still can't believe you never knew how to ride a bike", I laughed out loud. His face flushed with embarrassment. He obviously remembered what I was talking about.
"Let's not go there okay", he said through gritted teeth. I couldn't help but continue.
"Oh come on, we're reliving memories", I teased him, "besides it's not that big of a deal", he turned to face me for a moment, "Nathan didn't know how to tie his shoes till he was like nine", I instantly covered my mouth with my hand. We had stopped right outside my house and Lucas turned to fully face me.
"What", he asked with a smirk on his face.
"Nothing", I responded quickly. It was too late though. I'm sure I'll be getting a phone call form Nathan later tonight.
After our laughter subsided I reached for the handle on the door. Lucas's voice stopped me.
"You know", he began as he reached for my arm, "Brooke and I called everything off", I nodded my head. "She's gunna try and get Chase back", again I nodded. Sensing he wanted some type of input I spoke.
"That would be good for her. She needs someone like him. I just hope he can learn to forgive and forget because he may never admit it but he needs her too", I finished quietly. This time he nodded
I waited for him to speak out again when I reached for the handle, when he didn't I felt defeated. It took everything in me not to turn around and look at him. As I reach for my doorknob I hear his car start up as he slowly drives away. I know what he's doing, in his mind it's all up to me. I have to make the choice. That's easier said then done.
Two days have gone by. I haven't taken any calls from Michael. I haven't even heard from Lucas. I haven't even made a choice yet. Napping seems like a pretty good option right now, maybe sleep will help me figure things out. I also need to pack. Yea that's right, I'm supposed to leave in two days. Go back to New York. Go back to Michael. I really cannot get my head around things lately.
I instantly fell asleep when I laid down on my bed. Recent events had more then taken its toll on me. I had only been asleep for a few minutes when I hear the forced cough of someone who obviously wants me awake. I open one eye and come face to face with Chase.
"Go away", I mumble as I throw a pillow over my head.
"No way", he protests, "we need to talk", he says with nervousness in his voice. I sigh dramatically before sitting up to give him my full attention. He sits there silently for a minute before I give him my, what-the-hell-did-you-want?-look.
"Brooke called me", he says in a rushed breath. This has me intrigued. Maybe if Brooke and Chase can overcome their past I can work up the nerve to end things with Michael.
"What did she say", I help him along with the story.
"She and Luke are done. She asked if I could ever forgive her. I told her I had. She asked if I could ever trust her again and I told her I didn't know. One thing led to another and we started laughing about old times and now we have a date Saturday night", I smile at his instability.
"That's great Chase", I tell him sincerely as I get up and hug him.
"Oh, I'm not going", he mutters into my hair, "What if it's not the same. What if we're just different people now and it doesn't work", I've never seen him like this. I've known Chase for a long time and I have never seen him this nervous about a date.
"But what if it does go well and you both have a great time together", I pointed out, "do you really wanna look back and wonder 'what if'", I asked him quietly. He looks at me and I know what he's going to say.
"Do you wanna think the same things Peyton?"
I lower my head and begin to play with the hem of my shirt.
"No", I said in a tiny voice, "but it's complicated. I have Michael and-"
"Stop using him as an excuse Peyton", he nearly yells at me, "You and I both know that Michael doesn't mean as much to you as you tell everyone. Yes you love him but you are not in love with him."
I wish I could argue with him. I really, really wish I could tell him he was wrong, that Michael was the one for me. But one thing that I could never do was lie to Chase.
"Look I'm sorry but someone needs to let you know all of this. You need to stop running", he says each word slowly so that it fully sinks in. I nod my head and watch as he walks out my bedroom door.
I have a phone call to make.
Leave some reviews...i know, still no kiss---sorry---it will come trust mee...i just dont want the Lucas.Peyton thing to happen while shes still with someone else...they've been there and done that already
