Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. This is a work of fiction that I am not making a profit off of.

A/N: Chapter 9 is almost done, so you guys can definitely expect it in two weeks!

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WARNING - FLASHBACK CONTAINS MENTION OF DRUG USE.

Flashback

Robin had known she was struggling to deal with the events of her birthday.

They were used to her being withdrawn. They'd grown to understand her powers and the limitations they presented. Everyone understood that she needed to meditate and sometimes remove herself from situations that may cause her powers to flair up.

But, she hadn't locked herself away in awhile.

No matter what was going on, Raven would come out for at least two meals and at least two or three television/team nights a week. Granted she would sit in the corner of the couch with her nose buried in a book, but she was there.

Until one day she wasn't.

Robin understood her need for privacy. Her birthday was far from a happy day despite it ending with friends, cake, and ice cream. He informed the team that Raven needed space. He couldn't find the words to tell them about her failed suicide attempt.

She wasn't neglecting her duty. Raven swiftly responded to each alarm before disappearing in the midst of her soul self, so he couldn't fault her.

Logically, he knew that she was coming out of her room some portion of the day. Demon or not, she couldn't survive on just air. The masked titan had found his suspicions were indeed correct, but he hadn't realized she was leaving the tower.

When she stumbled into the common room dressed in a tight black dress, high boots, and neon bangles, the smell of alcohol and ash hit him faster than he was able to comprehend the scene in front of him.

Raven was drunk.

Drunk being the understatement of the year. Heaven knows what she had flooding through her system…

Her hair was out of sorts, and he was pretty sure there was vomit on her dress.

"Raven?" Robin questioned quietly, unsure of the scene in front of him.

Her eyes rolled from left to right as her wobbled. Her back hit the wall behind her as her hands went out in front of her, "Fuck."

"Yeah," Robin agreed walking over to her. "Are you drunk?" He steadied his hands on her shoulders, the smell of her night out burning his sinuses.

An acidic belch bubbled from her stomach as her head slumped forward, eyes going wide before relaxing again, "Yep."

"Look at me," he commanded.

"No," she groaned taking a uneasy step back.

Pinching her face between his thumb and index finger, he tilted her head toward the light to check her pupils. "What did you take?"

"Nothing."

"What did you take?" Robin questioned sternly, alarmed at the size of her pupils. He could only see a small sliver of violet.

Raven closed her eyes for a moment, brow wrinkling in thought, "Aside from alcohol? Some pink pills with little bunny rabbits on them, an orange one with a pizza, and one that was bright blue." She smirked. "I snorted some-"

"What!?"

"Too loud," she groaned, pushing him away from her. "And you asked, so don't get pissy if you don't like the answer." She stumbled toward the kitchen, leaning over the sink as she felt her stomach bubble.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

She laughed bitterly, "Really?"

Robin sighed, "I'm sorry."

"Thank you," she nodded proudly.

"But-"

"Fuck off and let me puke in peace please," she groaned, fingers pulling her hair back.

"This isn't the solution."

She nodded. Her hands pressed against the edge of the sink as she pressed herself up straight. "Then what is?"

Robin looked at her, mouth agape.

"Huh? You seem to be so full of solutions in between judging how I deal with things! So you tell me, what I'm supposed to do!?" She shouted, turning sharply to face him. Her chest heaved as she unleashed her anger.

He was at a lost for words.

"What? I'm supposed to smile? Pretend everything is fine?" She snapped, running a hand over face roughly. "Act like I'm not going to kill you all in the end?"

"You don't know that," he shook his head. "It's not over yet. There's still a chance."

There wasn't. "Even if there was," she slurred, shaking her head as her eyes blurred with tears and head throbbed. "It's already ruined. He already broke me, so it doesn't matter."

"Raven," Robin breathed, taking a step closer to her. "I think we should talk about this when you're sober."

"I really think it doesn't matter." She turned her back toward the sink. "Just leave me alone."

Flash Forward

"Well, well," Roy whistled amused as he approached the fire. "I didn't know you smoked." The sound of his bag swinging from his fingertips.

Raven rolled her eyes playfully. She could hear the dust crunch underneath his boots as he rocked back and forth on his heels with smug amusement as she exhaled. Keeping her eyes on the fire, she brought the cigarette to her lips, "I figured you wouldn't mind if I bummed a few. I'll buy you another pack at the next stop."

"Not required. I have a carton in trunk," he chuckled, dropping the bag by her seat. Using a stick, he carefully moved the pot resting on the iron rack toward him.

"Shouldn't you have put things in the pot before putting it on the fire?" If he'd asked, she could have just levitated it unto the fire safely. "You're gonna burn yourself."

"You realize, I'm not just some pretty city boy, right?" He chuckled as he poked the fire. "Can you toss me the bag?"

Her wrist flicked delicately as the bag scooted next to him.

"Show off."

Raven shrugged unapologetically as a slow satisfied smile curled on her lips as she continued to smoke. "You know, I could have moved that pot lid too."

"I'm sure," he chuckled removing the foil packs from the bag and placing them in the hot pot. "My stick also works quite well." Roy guided the stick into the lid handle and lifted it back to the pot.

"So would pot holders and tongs," she remarked.

Lifting the mentioned tools from the bag, he raised a curious eyebrow, "I have silverware and plates to make up for my lack of pot holders."

"Fancy," Raven smirked.

"The fanciest hobo meals you'll ever eat, my dear," Roy assured. He took a seat on the log next to her, leaning back on his elbows comfortably.

"Hobo meals?" She frowned, removing her vibrating phone from her back pocket.

Changeling.

She quickly ignored the call with a sigh.

"Yep," he confirmed, glancing at the phone from the corner of his eye as he stretched casually. "Basically, some meat and vegetables expertly packed inside a bundle of aluminum foil."

Her phone buzzed again. "Sounds tasty," Raven commented, her fingers pressing the ignore button once more. She inhaled loudly, hoping to catch a whiff of the meal cooking in front of them. The sweet aroma from the firewood mixed with the smell of cooking meat and the ash of her cigarette. "Smells good." Her phone buzzed again.

"Won't be ready for a bit."

Her fingers pressed the side button once again to send the call to her full voicemail box. At least, Changeling couldn't yell at her anymore.

"There's beef and chicken," Roy informed as her phone glowed again. "The vegetables on the menu tonight are potatoes, green beans, zucchini, corn-"

Raven's eyes drifted down seeing Changeling's notifications flood the front screen of her phone, "None of those are vegetables."

If you're going to ignore my calls…

Now, he was texting.

At least have the decency to tell me why.

"What the hell do you call potatoes, green beans, and zucchini then?" Roy laughed as he lit his own cigarette, eyes still casually on her phone.

You just ignored my calls.

"Potatoes, sure," Raven sighed as her eyes moved from her phone to Roy. "Zucchini and green beans are fruit, I believe."

I know you're there.

"Yes, but we treat all of those things as vegetables," he argued with a smirk.

She shook her head, attention split between Changeling's serious text and the silly conversation with Roy, "But it's a not a vegetable. Just because you treat something like a vegetable doesn't make it a vegetable."

I know you're ignoring me.

"That's fair," Roy shrugged, taking in her argument. "But, who's to say they don't want to be treated like vegetables? What about what they want? "

You never had a problem telling me to piss off.

"Are we really having this conversation?" She questioned, glancing at him brows knitted with confusion. Her phone buzzed, screen illuminating.

He shrugged, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his lips, "It's an important conversation."

So, I'm trying to figure out why you couldn't tell me you're leaving?

Raven felt her heart slam against her rib cage as she stared at her phone. "Uhh," she stammered, blinking as she fought for control. "I don't think-" Her fingers quickly unlocked the message screen without thought, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. "I think they're more concerned about being cooked alive if anything." She started to type.

Gar, I want-

She sighed, thumb tapping the delete button.

Gar-

What the hell was she supposed to say? Her emotions were tangled with amusement from Roy and panic from Gar's texting.

"Yes, but," Roy kept his eyes on her phone as he lit his cigarette. "You don't speak ill of the dead. We're honoring the sacrifice these brave plants made for our nutrition."

She couldn't decide which was worse, her conversation with Roy or trying to explain herself to Gar. "Yeah," she murmured. Raven honestly hadn't really heard what Roy had just said. Her mind tried to untangle the messy web of words jumbled in her head.

I can see you typing.

Shit.

I'm sorry. Raven typed looking at the unsent message. I didn't think me leaving was going to be a big deal. It wasn't a complete lie. She honestly figured Changeling wouldn't care enough to bombard her with messages. One voicemail and a couple of confused text messages were to be expected, but this was unexpected in the best and worst ways possible. Inhaling, her fingers continued to craft a response. I thoug-

"Alright," Roy breathed, exhaling the end of his cigarette. "I tried," he muttered as he tossed the butt of his smoke into the fire. Standing with another loud sigh, he stepped in front of Raven.

Her fingers froze, stopping her work on the unsent message. Raven slowly lowered her phone to stare at him intently, "Yes?"

"I'm going to apologize for this now," he told her seriously. His lips were tight as he rocked back and forth on his heels with his hands clasped behind his back. "Because after I do it, I'm not going to feel bad."

She slowly leaned away from him, brow raising curiously.

Roy inhaled slowly, hands going out in surrender as he looked up to the night sky, "I'm sorry."

"Okay?" Raven questioned slowly. Her eyes wide and confused.

Roy snatched the phone from her hand, sprinting away from her.

"Roy!" Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. Raven leaped from her seat chasing after him. Her phone illuminated brightly in his hand as he led them away from the fire. What the hell was he gonna do with her phone? And where the hell was he going?

His pace slowed as he stopped in front of the cliff. "I already said I'm sorry," he called as he tossed the phone into the cliff.

"What the fuck?!" Raven screeched charging at him.

"Whoa," he shouted, sticking his arm out to grab her before she went off the cliff. "Watch yourself there." Roy wrapped another arm around his waist and pulled her another step back.

"Watch yourself?!" Her pulse pounded in her head as she watched her the light from her phone disappear into the darkness below. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

He shrugged, unapologetically, "I didn't want you to fall."

"I can fly!"

"I forgot about that."

Her chest heaved as she struggled to make sense of what exactly had occurred.

"Be careful anyway," Roy warned gently. His arms slowly released from her waist as he turned to walk back to their fire.

Raven stood at the edge of the cliff, feet sinking into the dust as she looked at the abyss. Her fists curled at her sides as her head throbbed. What the hell just happened? She pivoted sharply, giving into rage, "Harper!"

"One sec, Rae," he answered. Expertly ignoring the sound of her angry steps, he knelt by the fire carefully pulling the pot of food from the fire. He dusted off his hands and looked up at her. "What's up?"

"Are you fucking serious?!" She roared. "You just threw my phone off a goddamn cliff!"

"Yes," he confirmed, using his stick to knock the pot lid off. "I remember. I was there, and I also apologized before hand."

"You're lucky I don't toss you off that cliff," Raven warned. Her fingers tore through her hair as she struggled to control her rage. She briefly remembered a time where she would have actually tossed him off the cliff.

Not to kill him.

She'd only let him fall far enough to make a point.

"I am indeed."

She closed her eyes for a second as she placed a hand on her abdomen as she breathed deeply. "I am trying very hard not to murder you right now," she whispered as she felt her body tremble.

"Sit down," Roy commanded softly. He stood, folding his arms in front of him.

"Fuck you!"

He bit back a dirty remark. "Sit down," he repeated calmly as he walked over to the log seats. He had to be patient. After all, he'd just thrown her phone off a cliff and she'd graciously decided not to sentence him to the same fate. "Please?"

Her shoulders sagged in defeat as he walked over to him. Violet eyes narrowed dangerous as she slowly sat down.

Roy sighed taking out his wallet, pulling out a worn piece of paper and presenting it to her.

"Your will?" Raven questioned sourly as she eyed the paper. If he was hoping to calm her down, he was shit out of luck there. This just gave her more time to plan where she was going to hide his body.

His eyes widened as he gestured for her to take the paper.

She scoffed, snatching the paper from his fingertips. "Okay?" She questioned, staring at the photograph confused. "A photograph?" She added, looking to him, feeling the tension in her brows lessen.

Roy sighed as he took a seat next to her. His elbows rested against his knees as his fingers laced together. Jasper eyes focused on the fire in front of them as he nodded, "Yep."

Raven looked back at the photo. A beautiful woman with long black hair smiled brilliantly toward the camera. In her lap, she held a chubby cheeked red haired baby that was loosely wrapped in a fuzzy yellow blanket. "Your mother?" She questioned. Why was he showing her this?

"No," he pulled out a cigarette, placing it between his lips. "That's my daughter."

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Despite their unpredictable lives, they were all creatures of habit.

Nightwing was, by design, a creature of habit in almost every aspect of his life.

But the others…

Starfire, for example, monopolized the television on Monday and Thursday night starting at eight in the evening. About ten minutes before her first show, she'd make a large bowl of extra butter popcorn and during the last commercial break of her final show she'd grab a pint of frozen custard to enjoy.

Terra always had the same pre battle ritual. Once they'd arrived, her feet would slide to a sudden stop. Crouched and feet planted in a battle stance, she'd lace her fingers, crack her knuckles, and toss her head from left to right.

Cyborg regularly indulged in a midnight snack. Typically, around eleven or eleven thirty he'd start preparing his midnight dish. Waffles, steak and potatoes, super meat leftover sandwich… Something heavy, hearty, and simple. If they had a long day of crime fighting or the pantry were bare, Cyborg would head out for some takeout to indulge in.

"Sweet baby Jesus, dude!" Cyborg jumped stepping into the kitchen, hand clutching his chest.

Changeling smirked, looking at the clock on the side wall then casting a glance to the brown paper bag in his hand.

Eleven forty-five.

Just as he predicted.

"The hell you doing up?" Cyborg wondered, stepping into the kitchen. "Had I known, I would have gotten you a veggie burger. I went to that diner near the bay." He carefully unpacked his midnight meal, taking a seat across him Changeling.

"I'm not hungry," Changeling shrugged, leaning back in his seat to watch his friend organize his food in front of him.

Cyborg carefully unwrapped his burger. A delicious triple patty burger, slathered with four different selections of premium cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, lettuce, tomato, the chef's super secret sauce, and served with spicy Cajun fries. With a happy sigh, he licked his lips as his fingers curled around the burger.

The green man waited until the burger was at his friend's lips. "You know," Changeling spoke, suppressing a smile as his friend lowered his meal. "I've been thinking."

"Alert the media," Cyborg smirked harmlessly.

He figured since Raven wasn't here, someone else had to pick up the slack in slinging sarcastic comments at Changeling department. "You realize I'm not dumb right?" Changeling questioned folding his arms in front of his chest, casting his friend a hard stare.

"B…" Though he'd outgrown his old code name, Changeling found he couldn't escape the nickname. "I was joking, I wasn't tr-"

"Of course," Changeling shrugged innocently.

"We know you aren't stupid, B," Cyborg sighed, feeling bad about the quip. "I mean we might give you shit from time to time, but…"

"Right, right," Changeling nodded. "I get it."

Cyborg, seemingly satisfied, picked his sandwich up again.

"So…"

Cyborg froze, mouth stretched over his burger as he prepared for his first bite.

"Care to tell me why Raven told everyone but me she was leaving?" He questioned calmly, green eyes fixated on his friend.

Cyborg dropped his burger, staring at his friend in panic.

"Well, me and Terra, but…" The changeling shrugged as he trailed off. His eyes narrowed as he waited for an answer.

Cyborg swallowed hard, eyes wide, and fingers twitching nervously as his mind searched for the correct response to that question. "I think," he started slowly. "I think you should talk to Raven about that."

"So, you're saying I'm right?"

"Garfield-"

Changeling chortled bitterly as he leaned back, "I'm Garfield now."

All he wanted to do was eat his damn burger in peace. "I mean, that's your name."

"You never call me Garfield." Unless it was something serious.

"All I'm saying is," Cyborg started, keeping his eyes away from the changeling and on the table in front of him. "I think you should talk to Raven."

"About why she didn't think I needed to know she was leaving?"

"I didn't say that!"

"But it's true," Changeling nodded. He pressed his palms to the table as he stood up. "Thanks for confirming my suspicions." He walked out of the kitchen. "Enjoy your burger."

Cyborg scowled, dropping his burger back in the bag, "A man can't even eat in peace in this got damn mutha fucking tower."

So much for his midnight snack.

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Daughter?

Raven pulled the photo closer to her face as she examined the baby staring back at her. She could see Roy in the fiery curls that framed the baby's head like a little halo. Her dark eyes and skin were clearly from her mother.

"Her name's Lian," Roy commented as he lit the cigarette.

Since when did Roy have a daughter? And how didn't she know? Did anyone know? "You're a father?"

"I am," he acknowledged with a small nod.

What the hell was she supposed to say to this? How was she supposed to feel? Her rage had fizzled in to confusion, shock, and a weird pang of dread as she stared at the photo.

"I'm also a drug addict," Roy commented casually.

What? "What?" Her head snapped to him, eyes wide with bewilderment.

"Well," he exhaled, blowing the smoke toward the fire. "I don't use drugs or drink right now, I'm sober, but…" His brow wrinkled trying to figure out how to word this. "I'll always be addicted, so I'm a drug addict with or without the needle between my toes."

There were so many things she could comment on Raven couldn't pick just one. "What am I supposed to say to this?"

"Anything you want," Roy shrugged, unbothered by her shock.

She looked back at the photo and then to the redhead, mouth open as she yelled, "You don't get to throw my phone off a cliff and the dump your damage in my lap like it's nothing!" Her chest heaved as confusion bled back into anger.

"That's fair, but you're not worried about whatever's going on in Jump or your phone anymore, so I'd say it was worth it." Roy tossed her a cocky smirk, running a hand through his hair. "And I figured you'd have mercy because I have a child. Low yes, but…"

Raven felt the color drain from her face as she remembered the unsent text message she'd been crafting to Changeling. He really was going to think she was avoiding him, now.

So much for her fairytale romantic moment.

Not that she was expecting it, but…

He cleared his throat, voice fading to a serious tone. "I'm not asking you to tell me why you left Titans West-"

The fire illuminated the planes of his face and made his eyes glow. Even without her empathy, she could feel the sincerity radiating.

"But don't think I'm not smart enough to see that you've got some major emotional baggage of your own," he told her. "And that's okay."

Raven's face softened with shock, the sound of her heartbeat deafening in her ears.

"It's okay that you're 'damaged'. Fuck, I'm damaged," he smirked, turning to face her tenderly. Roy placed a hand on her knee and giving it a little squeeze. "I like to think that the damage makes us better. Makes us real." He looked at her softly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

A sad smile curled on her lips as her eyes stung with tears, "Right because you can't be a superhero without being broken."

"It's not about that," he told her gently. "So, I read somewhere that in Japan they put gold in the cracks of their broken pottery," Roy recalled with a smile. "Because the cracks makes the pottery beautiful and unique. Sure, you can have a perfect manufactured piece, but the ones with cracks have a story. They have character. They've experienced things." He gently bumped her arm with his shoulder. "You have character. Your experiences, good and not so good, make you who you are."

"That's really beautiful," Raven whispered, sniffling as she wiped her eyes.

He exhaled loudly, "Great because I didn't actually read that lovely little piece of information. I heard it in an AA meeting. Or was it NA?"

A loud cackle escaped her before she could stop it. She almost hated how she couldn't stay mad at him, "You're ridiculous."

"I am. I'm also damaged too," Roy started again, clearing his throat as his tone became serious. "No matter how fucked up we are, we're worthy of being whole. So what if we have cracks."

He sounded like her therapist.

"And it seemed like those text messages were taking little pieces from you," he told her gently. She didn't need to know that Roy was aware of who she was talking to. "Honestly, it seems like everytime you've touched your phone chipped away at you so-"

"You chucked it off a cliff?" No use crying or plotting murder over spilled milk now.

"I did," He nodded with a small chuckle. "I'll buy you a new one when we get to Chicago."

Covering a smirk, her fingers traced of the photo she still held. "We're days away from Chicago."

"Exactly. You need some time to unplug." If they really need to reach anyone, Roy had his phone and they both had their communicators. "Untangle yourself from whatever's keeping you from being whole." His cigarette firmly tucked between his lips, he went over to the pot.

Raven felt her shoulders slouch and relax as she watched him carefully remove the foil packs from the pot. "I'm still mad at you," she told him with playful seriousness.

Roy laughed. That was fair.

To be Continued...