Callen pulled out his cell. "I'm going to have to let Hetty know. Kensi's not going to be going back to work for a while. I know she and Deeks have a running joke that she's Wonder Woman, but even she's going to take time to get over this."

"And it'll save Mikey having to tell Hetty. It must have been hellish for him just now." Nico tried very hard not to think about how difficult it must have been, especially after they'd just blurted out the news about their own baby. If only they'd waited...

"I don't know how he did it." Callen put the phone down and reached blindly for her hand. "You are sure the doctor said everything was alright – with you and the baby?" All the joy he'd previously felt had dissipated, to be replaced with a cold fear that gripped his heart and squeezed tightly.

She nodded. "We're both fine. Got a clean bill of health."

"Good. Because I don't know what I'd do if anything happened – to either of you."

They sat in silence for a while, both very aware that upstairs, their friends were trying to come to terms with their loss and endeavouring to work out a way forward. But how did you put something like this behind you? And could you ever be the same people again? There were so many questions that didn't seem to have any possibility of being answered, so many questions that his head was aching with them, Marty thought. He'd checked on Kensi, who was sound asleep, and although he badly wanted to stay beside her, just to make everything was alright, he knew how much she would hate that. So he compromised by sitting by the window for a few minutes and watching her from a distance, and then went back downstairs and then wandered out into the garden. Joe was mowing the lawn, while Caroline was busily weeding a border.

"About time too!" She straightened up and started to brush the dirt off her hands.

"We need to talk."

"Just give Joe a moment to get over here. He'd never say so himself, but he's longing to hear the news." Putting two fingers into her mouth, she let out a piercing whistle, which was heard even above the noise of the mower. "I'm longing to hear all the details. Don't leave a single thing out."

Caroline and her husband Joe had worked for the Brandels since Marty was a baby and they were probably the nearest thing he had to family. Of course, there was his father, but they were still virtual strangers. You couldn't make up for twenty years in the space of a week. And Hetty – well, she was still an enigma. But Caroline and Joe had always been there. Marty knew just how much the news was going to hurt them and wished he could have delegated this task to someone else. Except that would have been cowardly. He jammed his hands into the pockets of his pants and stared hard at a bee circling a lavender bush, seemingly intoxicated by the heady perfume. And then he began to speak, the words coming haltingly, his voice low and uncertain and his eyes fixed on the bush and that stupid bee. It wasn't any easier this way, it would never be any easier, but at least he didn't have to look at them and see the pity in their eyes.

"Oh, son." Despite all the years he'd lived in America, Joe still sounded English, with a comforting Cumbrian burr. He pulled Marty into a hug, patting him on the back. "It's hard, I know. Believe me, I know." Joe released him from the embrace, but let his hand linger comfortingly on the back of Marty's neck.

Caroline stood to one side, fidgeting with the gardening apron tied around her waist. Finally she managed to undo the knot and the garment fell down onto the path. "How's Kensi? Is she alright? Physically, I mean."

"She's just tired out. I've never seen her like this. It's like she's retreating inwards. Away from me." Marty kicked at the gravel fretfully and Joe choked back an exclamation that kicking the stones onto the grass was only going to blunt the mower blades. What did something so inconsequential matter at a time like this? What did it matter at all, in the scheme of things?

"How about I go and sit with Kensi for a bit, while you and Joe take Bobby and go down to the beach? A long walk and some sea air would do you good." Being British, Caroline was a firm believer in the healing powers of fresh air, tea and hot buttered toast. Having dispatched her husband and Marty off in search of the former, she busied herself in the kitchen preparing the latter two. Having no truck with tea bags, she made the tea properly, warming the pot, putting in one spoon of tea per person, plus one for the pot and then stirring just once, in a clockwise direction.

Kensi was lying in bed, staring out of the window with disconsolate eyes, when Caroline came in. "I'm not hungry." All the life seemed to have deserted her voice.

"I don't suppose you are," Caroline agreed. "But you have to eat something. Just one piece of toast and some tea? And then I'll leave you. " Her tone was kind, but it also brooked no dissent.

"Okay." The thought of coffee turned her stomach, but tea sounded soothing, Kensi thought. And even thought she wasn't hungry, the comforting smell of butter melting into hot toast was almost appetising. She sat up in bed and let Caroline prop up the pillows behind her back and then accepted the china cup and saucer gratefully. The first sip tasted like nectar and when Caroline offered the toast, Kensi accepted it gratefully.

"Marty told us what happened."

"I thought he had." Kensi reached out and took another piece of toast and crunched it slowly.

"We're so sorry, Joe and I. We really feel for you. For you both."

"I know." Kensi had seen how they both looked at Marty and it was obvious that they adored him.

"If you ever want to talk about it – at any time, then I'm here." Caroline put down her cup. "You know that Joe and I don't have any children. Well, like you and Marty, there was a time when I was pregnant, only I was knocked down by a car – and I lost the baby. My injuries meant I wasn't able to ever have another one. That was my one and only chance."

Soundlessly, Kensi took hold of her hand and gripped it. There were so many people in the world, walking around, keeping their secrets still.

"Thank you." Caroline squeezed her fingers back. "It still hurts, even after all these years. But I was lucky, Kensi. It nearly tore us apart, in the beginning. We were both hurting so much, and we took it out on each other. And then we got the chance to come out here to start a new life. And that was when the miracle happened – we started to work for the Brandels and that was when I met Marty – six days old he was and newly home from the hospital. And although he never took the place of my baby, he just took that empty place in my heart and filled it. And now I've seen how happy you've made him." She gave Kensi a watery smile.

"He makes me happy too. So very happy." Kensi leant back against the pillows as the tears started to slide down her face.

"And the baby was going to be the crowing joy, wasn't it?"

"Yes. Oh yes."

"Kensi – in my experience, this can either pull a couple apart, or it can bring them closer together. So you make sure you talk to Marty about how you're feeling."

"I will." Kensi leaned into Caroline's embrace. "And I'm so sorry – about your baby, I mean."

"I know." Caroline petted her hair. That had been a black period in her life, there was no denying it. But then she'd held Marty in her arms and all the thwarted love found a place. She couldn't love him any more if he'd been her own flesh and blood. Things often had a way of working out, she'd discovered. And if there was anything she could do to help them work through this, then they only had to ask.


"Well?" Hetty looked at Callen enquiringly. "Do you have anything to report?"

A week had passed since Kensi and Deeks had taken off on his Ducati. He'd got back from the beach and run straight upstairs and stayed there for the remainder of the day. And the next morning had blandly asked Callen to look after his dog, as they were going off on a road trip. Kensi was still nowhere to be seen. They hadn't said where they were going and if truth be told, Callen suspected they had no clear plans, except to get away and to try to find some peace. There was every possibility that they could be gone for some time. "No word from either of them. You're not telling me that Eric hasn't been tracking the GPS from their cells."

"That would constitute unauthorised use of federal resources, Mr Callen."

"Like I said: you're not trying to tell me Eric hasn't been tracking their GPS?"

"Of course he has." Sam had no time for playing games. "Otherwise there's no way Hetty would be so calm. Last reported position was in Death Valley. They're probably boiling their brains out as we speak."

"I've been considering making some discrete enquiries about the possibility of using subcutaneous transmitters." There was no way that Hetty was ever going to admit to being worried, even if she was barely sleeping. "They might prove rather useful.

"You're really considering micro-chipping Deeks, like he's some mutt? Come on Hetty, that's a bit cruel, even for you."

"What makes you think Mr Deeks would be the only agent to be chipped? Perhaps I should remind you that you were kidnapped also, Mr Hannah. And seeing you are here, and Mr Deeks is absent, perhaps you should be the test subject?"

"Why not just look in that dossier Ziva brought from Washington?" he parried. "Seems Operation Frankenstein had plenty of experience keep track of its agents remotely. Why waste all that hard work and all those tax dollars?"

"Why indeed? A very commendable idea, Mr Hannah. Perhaps you'd like to make a start? I'll expect a detailed summary and preliminary recommendation by the close of play today." Too late, Sam realised that he'd walked straight into a trap. He eyed the file dubiously and was about to ask Callen for assistance when he realised he was alone and that Callen and Hetty were going upstairs to Ops. If he hadn't known better, he would have suspected they'd arranged the whole thing. Oh well, at least it would take his mind off worrying about Kensi and Deeks. Not that he would ever let on that he was remotely concerned.